For once – just this once, Kitty had hoped she would be someone's first choice.
It had started when her friends at her old school had abandoned her.
Liar. Slut. Backstabber.
She'd had those words yelled at her everyday. As if being molested was her fault and not his. It was his fault. All of the therapists and lawyers and her parents had said so. And yet because he was "such a good kid" people didn't believe her. Not even when the bastard pled guilty.
It's a relief to know he's admitting what he did, but it's not because he never says he's sorry and he doesn't have to live with the nightmares.
So she transferred schools. It was easy enough to convince her parents. They gave her whatever she wanted now. As if this whole thing was their fault for not noticing what was wrong with her.
Sometimes she feels like she's embarrassed them and let them down somehow.
She decides she needs to become the golden child. Because if she's on top then maybe everyone will believe her and like her. Except it doesn't work and she soon becomes all of the things they said she was. She fights for the coveted top spot on the Cheerio's pyramid, gains the respect of Coach Sylvester, dates the hot younger Puckerman brother and everyone still hates her.
Bitch. Fake. Whore. Don't you wish you'd stayed invisible now?
When Jake dumps her for Marley she's crushed. Jake was the first person who didn't judge her. He made her feel like a normal girl. They went out to Breadstix, to movies, for walks outside and she can't get enough of it. But his eyes always drift back to Marley and it reminds her why she hates the other girl – the brunette had nothing to offer and everyone still loves her because she's "kind". Her attempts to fight her off, however, backfire when Jake breaks up with her anyway.
"Things just didn't work out." "I've been hearing that a lot from you lately."
She's been hearing that from everyone else too.
When Ryder starts going to school at McKinley she sees him as nothing more then a stepping stone to being more popular. He's the new Quarterback after all and she's the head cheerleader. They should be dating because that's one of the rules of high school isn't it? Well not when Marley Rose shows up and steals yet another boy away from her.
What made her so special?
As the weeks tick by she starts to make new friends in Glee Club. It starts with Brittany, then the other girls and finally the whole club. Even Artie notes aloud that she looks happier. She feels happier too. She doesn't have to pretend with them and if she gets bitchy sometimes it's OK because they understand she isn't really trying to hurt everyone's feelings and they let the comments go. Then of course comes the shooting. Sure it turns out to be nothing, but she's scared out of her mind and when she hugs everyone and apologizes she means it because these people have become her family.
"I know it doesn't seem like it, but this has been the best year of my life."
She finally belongs somewhere.
It's funny how she ends up hung up on Ryder when she'd never actually cared before. But when he admits he was molested she knows how he feels and realizes he feels just as lonely as she did. Because in a way when the guys in the club had said that nothing bad had happened to him it was like when people stayed in denial about when she was molested. So she goes to him and tells him her story – which she never repeated to anyone after she transferred – and lets her heart hang on her sleeve for a moment. He appreciates it. She actually make a true friend. Not that it lasts.
It never lasts.
She invites Ryder to lunch but of course she gets shot down. Why? Because he needs to stay and talk to his fake girlfriend. He literally turned down a real date for a date with a girl who lied to him repeatedly and won't meet him face to face. Wonderful. The whole time she though the whole thing was Marley's fault, but maybe it was just her all along.
"Maybe some other time." "I don't think so."
She'll always be someone's second choice won't she?
Just a little something I cooked up with the inspiration I had after watching last night's episode. I may make a follow up to this as I totally ship Kitty/Ryder now. Please Review!