Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. But this thing here, you can totally blame on me. I'm good like that.
Our story begins somewhere back in Hawt Wind Tunnel Secks, where Kikyou and Miroku were going to meet for the first time. And though it was a funny story indeed, this one has nothing to do with them. No, this one is all about Shippou and Mrs. Higurashi. How they could be paired you ask? God only knows. But the sick and twisted minds have mastered it just for you. Now, I commence the fic. This is their story:
"Sh!t. This party is lame." Shippou murmured in a drunken slang, the beer bottle tipping in his hands, "I'm out of here."
The red-head dressed in an embarrassing little sailor suit with navy blue trim stumbled out of the room just in time to see Kikyou coming down the street.
"Hi ya old clay witch!" the kitsune hiccupped, continuing his journey down the street.
Kikyou shot him a scalding look but Shippou was unscathed, flicking off a middle stubby finger at her back muttering, "Go screw a clay pot!" She couldn't mess with an Irish kit he knew that much!
Shippou walked right past his house, which was right across the street, turning at the crosswalk at the end of the block. He knew where he was heading. For a good time…
Shippou was in 1st grade, but he knew how to handle the ladies. Could charm them way too easy with his blunt, raw language and his cuddly good looks. Left and right the little elementary school girls would fall for him. Even Kagome slipped up once, but that's another story.
But Shippou had eyes for one girl and one girl only. Rin. That girl was hot stuff. The most popular girl in his class… She was sweet and bubbly. Obviously untouched. And nothing was more tempting then a flower not plucked…
"Shippou-kun!" came out a soft bubbly voice and his large green eyes shifted to the side. He smiled coolly, running a small hand through his bright red hair and walking over to the girl.
"Rin. Good to shee you."
Rin grasped the ball she was holding and smiled up at him widely.
"Wouldn't have expected you on this side of the neighborhood."
Shippou eyed her for a moment then hid the bottle of beer behind his back. Another ravage hiccup shook his body.
"Yea. I come and go as I pwease."
Smooth. Shippou was guaranteed to be silkier than a Samuel Adams. Shall he score tonight?
"So, you want to come inside?"
The question was innocent, that of a small girl looking for a playmate. But to the naughty kitsune it meant so much more.
"What are we gonna do inside?" he asked, moving uncomfortably close to Rin.
The smell of liquor was strong on his breath and made her want to gag. She backed away slowly, still smiling at him. Boy did he need a tic-tac!
Rin glanced him over, looking skeptically at his outfit. What was he wearing? It was completely stupid, something she would never be caught in. She wore a plain cotton blue dress, lace trim and simple pearl earrings. She looked very much like the girl next door.
"You ever play Twister?" Rin questioned.
Shippou smiled mischievously, showing a row of toothy fangs. Has he ever played Twister? What kind of a question was that? He was an expert as Twister. First one to fall has to strip something right? Duh!
"Yup. I love Twishter."
He winked at Rin.
Rin pretended to cough, covering her nose so she wouldn't have to smell the redhead's breath. Forget the tic-tac. He needed the whole box! Curse her politeness.
She headed inside the house and Shippou immediately followed smiling.
The house was simple and elegant. It had a long curling banister that lead upstairs. An entertainment room contained a large screen T.V. with a variety of DVDs on the shelves. The couches were leather, the kitchen huge with marble tabletops. Rin was living the life.
"You gotsh someshing to eatsh around here?" Shippou slurred, taking another sip of his beer.
Rin paused, brown eyes on focused on him for a moment then she called out a name.
"Ms. Higurashi!"
They heard footsteps approach quickly from upstairs, and then a shadowy figure could be seen climbing down the steps. Shippou watched carefully as a tall woman approached them. She was shapely and slender. Her face was soft and caring, her eyes glittered with a certain malevolent glow that sent shivers down the Irish lad's spine. He just couldn't put his finger on it. She had a simple grace about her, and a smile that lit up the room as she came in.
"Screw Rin," Shippou muttered taking another swig, "she's the new girl nexsh door."
Kagome's mother stopped at the bottom of the steps, her eyebrow arched as she stared down at Shippou. Her short hair seemed to flutter in an imaginary breeze.
"Down boy." He whispered.
"Rin, Who's this?"
Her voice was as soft as her features, made your heart leap and make you swallow it again. Shippou nearly choked up his beer.
Rin walked over to Shippou and pulled him closer to the woman. His face flushed (whether from him being drunk or embarrassment, we don't know) and he smiled bashfully up at her.
"This is Shippou-kun." Rin replied, glancing from him to the tall, slender female.
Ms. Higurashi held out her hand and Shippou grasped on of her fingers.
"Nice to meet you." They told one another in unison.
The woman's brown eyes trailed down to the glass bottle in the kitsune's hand. She shook her head and clicked her tongue.
"No, no Shippou. You shouldn't be drinking that crap."
She grabbed the bottle away from him and finished it off, dumping it into the trash. The boy was too stunned to do much more than stare at the woman. She rummaged in the fridge, pulling out fruit juice and a glass. Then she went into one of them cabinets.
When she returned she had a glass of some type of odd liquid.
"Here. This is better young man. Cognac and Juice. Top of the line Hennessy let me tell you."
Shippou's eyes bulged as he stared at the glass and snatched it from her, gulping it down like he was thirsty. It was so good the way it burned as it went down. He'd have a hangover in the morning.
Mrs. Higurashi smiled, taking the glass back and placing it in the sink to be washed later.
"So Rin, what were you two planning on doing? Remember I'm only babysitting you while your parents are doing that wolf expedition."
Rin nodded.
"We were going to play…"
"With you Ms. Higurashi!" Shippou cut off, stepping up to her and kissing her soft hand. If her hands were this soft he could only imagine the suppleness of other areas.
Mrs. Higurashi nodded in thought.
"Play? I guess I can do that."
She placed her hands on her knees and bent over to Shippou's height.
"What do you want to play?"
Rin looked at Shippou in a scolding manner, but he ignored her. As Ms. Higurashi bent down, he couldn't help but peak down her shirt, which was hanging wide enough for him to see all.
She bent down farther. The drunkard's eyebrow rose once more. Did she do that on purpose?
"Shippou?" her voice sounded playful. Lusting.
"I'll play whatever you want Ms. Higurashi."
She smiled, rising back up to her full height again.
"Fine. We'll play my favorite game."
Rin stepped forward. She wasn't a lawn ornament here!
"What game is that?" she asked.
The woman walked over to the couch, crossing her legs and pulling out the remote. She looked back over to them and her smile widened.
"Bedtime." She responded.
Rin's jaw dropped.
"It's 5:00!"
Ms. Higurashi shrugged.
"It's 10:00 four time zones away from us."
Rin glared at her a moment longer than stomped upstairs. But Shippou didn't follow. This wasn't his house. He'd be English twit if he were going to bed.
Kagome's mom popped in a video, and relaxed. Shippou approached her cautiously.
"Hey Ship. Come have a seat."
She rubbed the spot right next to her. He hopped atop it and focused on the T.V. But it was hard when this element of beauty was towering over you. And seeming to get closer by the minute…
"What are we watching Ms. Higurashi?"
She pressed the play button and rolled her eyes.
"Hey Ship, no more of that 'Ms. Higurashi' crap. Call me Peaches."
Shippo's eye twitched. Peaches?
The movie started. Something titled Ride Them Cowboys. Shippou's brow furrowed. What was this?
Moans floated up from the screen and the little boy gasped. He knew exactly what this was! He backed farther into the couch, but didn't realize the arm behind him. He looked up. She smiled down at him.
"What's wrong Ship? It's a great movie."
Shippou worked at the collar around his neck. It was getting a bit too hot for him.
"I…" he paused, hyperventilating at the screen, "I should be heading home."
The woman nodded, lighting a cigarette.
"Let me give you a ride." She grabbed her keys.
He wanted to refuse but before he knew it, he was in her car heading home. She turned into a dark parking lot he didn't recognize. He squeezed his seatbelt.
"Ms. Higurashi. Where are we?"
She snorted, turning off the radio and the car. She turned to him.
"I told you. Call me Peaches."
Shippou's eye twitched once more and he backed against the car door. She smiled at him.
"Why so nervous Ship? I just have a special treat for you."
His eyes scurried about the car.
"Treat?"
She nodded, moving down her skirt to a pocket in her apron. A crinkling noise floated in the car.
"You want a 'blow' Ship?"
OMFG!
Shippou banged incessantly on the window. Someone save him! But she grabbed him from behind and shook him.
"Calm down Ship! Here!"
He glanced down and a small blow pop was in her hands. He looked from it to her.
"Here. Your treat."
Shippou hesitated, and then took it from her.
"Why are we here?" he demanded. She smiled at him.
"To pick up my new boyfriend."
And sure enough a man approached the car and knocked on the window. She opened the door, frenched the guy quickly then helped him get into the back of the car. Shippou breathed a sigh of relief.
They stopped outside the door just in time to see a potter carrying off Kikyou on a gurney. He frowned then turned to Ms. Higurashi.
"Thanks for the … 'blow' Peaches."
She shrugged.
"It's ok. It'll only cost you a 50."
Shippo's eyes widened then he laughed.
"Nice Peaches. Very funny."
She frowned.
"I wasn't kidding. Blows don't come cheap."
A/N: I know. I'm a sick bastard. Just review! LOL!