Synopsis: Would you like to play a game, dear reader?
I feel like this would be an awesome Hetalia party game to play. Though, at the same time, this whole setup reminds me of one big Mii Channel…
Casually warns that I do not own Hetalia or the Mii Channel.
Also casually warns that this story was written just for fun, please don't take it too seriously. xD Sit back and have fun with it!
In this game, you are god.
Careful there, don't hurt yourself! I mean a certain kind of god. Sorry, your powers are kinda limited. What were you trying to do, move mountains? It doesn't work like that!
You are a god in the sense of this game, and there's a certain way in which you will use your powers. Trust me, it's only a bit less lame than moving mountains. You're going to move people!
Interested? Let's see what exactly your story is, then.
Your setting is quite simple, just a small room where you are to look at a giant, flat board in the middle of the floor. It sorta looks like a massive iPad, doesn't it? It's just a bit bigger than a TV though, and it takes up most of the room, so just make sure you- Careful, don't crash into it! It's touch-screen based as well, so you have nothing button-related to worry about! The controls are simple enough even a child could understand, and the game is quite straightforward!
You see what's in the screen? Yes, it's another room! it looks somewhat similar to this one, eh? Sorry about that, by the way. Budget cuts. Oh, right! And there's no giant screen in the middle of that one. That would be a complicated game in itself. A screen with a room of a screen of a room with a screen... I'm getting distracted. Let's continue!
In this room, there's not a screen, but people! Yes, there are a whopping 24 people that are relaxing and enjoying their time inside this room. What's your job? To pick them up, drag them around, and force them to converse!
No, really, that's the purpose of this game.
Well, there's a bit more to that but... Anyway! Within these 24, there are 12 'perfect pairs' that you can create. Your goal is to pair up these people and make them converse with each other until you finally figure out what these 'perfect pairs' are!
Don't worry, the characters you're going to be using are familiar to you: the Hetalia characters! Also, to make it a bit easier, you are given the 1Ps and 2Ps of our lovely contestants! No no- Not 24 characters as well as their 2Ps! That would be far too many people! Think of the room space we would need for that! And we're already on a strict budget as it is! No, no, that wouldn't be good at all. We have 12 characters, and 12 2Ps.
Oh, and let's make it just a bit easier, shall we? Or perhaps a bit more complicated. Either or, you will get the hang of this new rule eventually! A 1P cannot go with another 1P, and a 2P cannot go with another 2P. These pairings are 1P and 2P, and 2P and 1P, exclusively.
I think those are all the rules you need to know! Do you understand? Remember, you can look at these rules anytime you want just by scrolling up! No problem!
Would you like to meet the pieces you'll be working with now? Excellent! Just look on the screen there and the cute characters will become clear!
You see? There's Italy in the corner, muttering sleepily to himself about pasta, and America declaring who-knows-what to the general crowd. 2P!Japan is sharpening his katana, while 2P!England attempting to get 2P!France and 2P!Canada to entertain to him. Germany seems to be trying to retain a slight order to the room (which had been somewhat dirty, apparently, and some things not entirely parallel to others) with Prussia, France, and Spain watching this and snickering to themselves. 2P!Romano is attempting to convince 2P!Russia to wear his clothing, and failing, and it seems that 2P!China is merely sitting on a chair and reading, right across from the 1P England.
Your pieces are Italy, Germany, Japan, America, Canada, England, Russia, China, France, Prussia, Spain, and Romano; of both the 1P and 2P status.
What are the controls? Well, they are simple! You see the people through the board and- Here, just touch America's head there and drag it over to Canada! See? Just like that! They're talking now! Luckily they don't seem to be punching each other's eyes out, but that doesn't exactly mean they're a perfect match, now does it? Especially since one of the rules was that two 1Ps can't go together. Just because two people don't decide to drag out chainsaws on each other doesn't mean they were meant to be!
But, if you would please, try not to pit together the worst-seeming pairings just to see chainsaws. I beg of you, this is not supposed to be a horror fanfic, and I wouldn't really want to be the one to clean blood off that flooring. Let's save that for another time.
Now, I believe I've explained the basics. Are you ready to push people together against their will? Wonderful!
Let's begin! I'll remain here in case you need any help.
Huh? No, no! You can't just simply wait for people to talk on their own to each other! Do you want to wait here for the next five days? Come on, the controls are simple, and if you ignore the human rights principles for just a bit, we've got a perfectly tame game here! Everything's all set to go!
If you're confused on where to start, why don't you try moving people by making a list first, hmm? Pair people up so that it's not merely one-at-a-time pairing and un-pairing, but making list of 12 pairs, and if some pairs work, then work with the remaining pairs in different designs! Does that make sense?
For instance, a good way to begin is something incredibly basic: Pairing all 12 1Ps with their respective 2Ps. Canada with Canada, Prussia with Prussia, Spain with Spain, and etcetera. Sound easy enough! Right there, you got it!
Let's watch for a minute now. Watch as Germany calls out his 2P's laziness, and Russia scoff at his other's cowardice. That 2P Romano doesn't seem especially pleased with his 1P's mouth and lack of beauty, and the Japans look as if they're about to reach a brawl.
Well, seems like opposites don't attract after all. Poor Italy. Maybe you should separate those two before 2P!Italy makes him cry...more than he already is...
Looks like we'll need to mix things up a bit. What do you think? Well, what seems like an organized way of pairings of 1Ps and 2Ps together? We could always look at the popular pairings and get an idea from them, right? Let's try it! What are some popular pairings?
USUK, FrUK, GerIta, Spamano, Franada, RoChu, NiChu, PruCan, RusCan, RusPru...
Let's try the popular pairings bit by bit and move on to the smaller parts from there, alright? Then we can cross off the list of pairings instead of individual characters!
First, USUK. 2P!England can be shuffled over to America. Yes, right like that, and drop him nice and gent- Okay, that works too. Then 2P!America can head over to England with his book-reading. Next? GerIta? That means 2P!Germany with Italy, and 2P!Italy with Germany. Looks good! Poor Italy, with his prior talk with his 2P, he doesn't exactly look in his best mood to play this game anymore...
With those conversing, you can move on to pair up the others. Happy Spain with happy 2P!Romano, and the two of their grumpy counterpart can be thrown together as well. Then, we could attempt to see if the RoChu works! RoChu is pretty cute! Then... Now we have Canada, France, Prussia, and Japan... Maybe if we push our polite Canadian friend to that antisocial Frenchman laying on the wall there, and then the remaining Prussias and Japans can be placed together as well!
Despite the USUK working for a small conversation, it seems as if the four aren't interested in each other. 2P!Canada looks incredibly irritated at the Frenchman he was shoved together with, and Germany seems like he's about to hit the Italian he was forced to tolerate. I don't even want to get in on the frustrated conversation Romano and 2P!Spain are getting into. Yeah, these pairings aren't working. Bummer.
Well, leaves us more time to try and find the pairings that work! We've gotten rid of some of the pairings, so let's move onto the other ones that are pretty popular! With USUK, there's also FrUK! So maybe if we allow both of the flirty versions of England and France to each other, leaving the more down-to-earth ones to have at it! Then, hmm... What would you like? Do you think Itacest would work? Let's try it! I think Italy needs a bit of laughter after dealing with 2P!Germany and his own 2P... 2P!Romano should do the trick! And perhaps Canada would be adjusted more towards someone more shy and reserved like our lovely 2P!Prussia here? I don't expect the narcissistic Prussia to fit well with the abrasive 2P!Canada, but we'll see what happens. You never know!
Alright, it seems like the England and 2P!France are already getting into a dispute, but let's finish off the list first, shall we? America and Japan are good friends usually, so maybe America and the 2P Japan will at least tolerate each other, as well as Japan and 2P!America. Now we're left over with Russia, Spain, China, and Germany. Russia and China have already been paired together and failed, so we could try something like Spain with either Russia or China. What do you think? Well, if that's your answer, I guess we could try Russia and Spain, and then China and Germany! Those are quite odd pairings, aren't they? But let's see where they take us!
Oh? Hey, hey! Look at that! While the others seem to be simply chatting, doesn't it seem like 2P!Italy might be flirting with our other hot-headed Italian? It may take a bit of conversation before we're certain of these two, but-
Wait, uh. First, can we get that pipe out of Russia's-? Oh shoot. Shoot- Separate those two, quick! Just like that, yeah. Gosh, don't throw the Russian! Just... Dang, that was some hit 2P!Spain got... We'll...try not to let that happen again.
Well, it seems as if the others are ending their conversations. I think we need to keep an eye on Russia and 2P!Spain for a minute though, they look really miffed off. The others don't seem too ecstatic either. Maybe you're not feeling too hot about this game anymore either. But come on! Look how cute 2P!Italy and Romano are being!
That's the spirit! Hop on up and let's finish this game!
Quick! Name some other popular pairings! No, hey, we already did that pairing, remember? Something else! Russia and Prussia, good thinking! Well, maybe not so much. Russia looked ticked off there, and shy little 2P!Prussia doesn't seem like the type who can handle that type of torture for a short conversation. Keep an eye on them, won't you? Though 2P!Russia and Prussia seem to be casually chatting, which is always reassuring. And then...Asakiku? I've seen that around here and there! England and 2P!Japan might be a nice...
Oh! Sorry, I was just...keeping an eye on Russia. No, but he seems...alright. England and 2P!Japan might work, though the 2P!England may give our own 1P a little headache. I almost feel a bit sorry for him. Good luck with that Briton, my hug-disliking friend. Then... Right! AmeCan is quite a fetching pairing, isn't it? 2P!Canada might have a few things to say to America to put him in his place though, and who knows how our quiet mouse of a character Canada will do in the presence of the potty-mouthed 2P!America.
Awww! Hey, hey, look at that! Romano and 2P!Italy actually shared a kiss! How cute is that? Now dear Romano's face looks like it's about to go on fire! Be honest, are the perks of this game not the absolute best you can get?
Oh- Sorry, I'm getting distracted. Where did we leave off? RusPru, Asakiku, AmeCan... Right! Now, if we keep pairing people up with both forms going to the same person, we'll be left with Italy and 2P!Romano left over again, right? Let's try to avoid that! Let's move 2P!Romano with...Germany! Since our regular Romano dislikes the potato bastard, then 2P!Romano should at least tolerate the 1P, shouldn't he? But then who would 2P!Germany go off with...? Any ideas? We have Italy, France, Spain, and China... Italy was already a rejected offer, as was China. So maybe France would be a good option! He is the country of love, is he not? Then 2P!France with Spain... And 2P!Spain with our Italy! These seem like good mixtures!
Wait... Oh- Sorry. That leaves China with himself again. Okay, let's change these last plans a bit. We could substitute 2P!France with the 2P China! 2P!China and Spain have yet to be together! And then our China could be with 2P!France, which also hasn't been done!
Hmm? That seems a bit strange. After all that time of us choosing, 2P!Japan and England still seem to be latched together in a conversation, while the others have moved on to other things. Do you think this means something? It seems that our 2P!Spain and Italy have somewhat of a more obvious attraction though! See? All 2P!Spain did was pat Italy's head and his curl looks like a cute little heart now! Or, I think that's a heart. Can you zoom in there? Yes, that's definitely a heart! No mistaking it!
So now, both Italys are out of play, as well as England and Romano from the 1P side, and Spain and Japan from the 2P side.
It might get more complex from here on out, so be prepared! But you're ready for this, aren't you?
Let's not mistake China with himself again and this time give him our full attention! China is sometimes paired with America, right? So lets move their 1P and 2P versions together, just to make an easy pair for the beginning. We made another few 'incestuous' pairings as well, so what about Germancest? Both the Germanys and Prussias are in play, so we could always move those four to each other! Ah- Careful with 2P!Prussia there. It seems like his talk with Russia wasn't exactly the most relaxing... Hopefully Germany can make him more relaxed? If he doesn't make the poor boy run laps... If only these conversations had ejector seats.
Oh... Maybe I jinxed it. Run, Prussian, run! Yeah... I doubt there will be anything romantic between those two.
One more simple pairing? Then we could mix things up! What do we have both pairs of? We have the Russias, Frances, and Canadas, don't we? Since Canada has gone with both of these and retrieved unhappy results, how about throwing France and Russia together then? That might turn out well!
Now... Onto the more confusing matches! Since 2P!England and Canada are members of the FACE family, they might have something relatable to talk about! See, it already seems like they're having a friendly conversation! It looks like all the pairings are going well so far! Well, except for 2P!America and China- It looks like China isn't much a fan of the 2P's rebellious and disrespectful attitude. Maybe that's not a terrible-
Wait, woah! Woah- Um, do you think Romano and 2P!Italy are going a bit fast there? Maybe we shouldn't let them get too much- Yeah, they're a bit too far gone to stop now... You're god in this game! You could make those two a room: just drawing a door on the wall and that should be- There you go, just like that! Easy does it, just prod them towards the- Bingo!
It seems like 2P!Spain is looking at that door and getting a few ideas as well... Why don't you make them one as well? Calm down, if they were matched together, it should be fine. Then they could hide out and do their own thing while you focus on the game. The others are still quietly talking over in the side though, with England and 2P!Japan rolling their eyes at the scene. I think we can leave that pairing be for a while longer.
You have now learned the gift of making doors! Use that power wisely now!
Now...what did we leave off on? I think we had four people left, didn't we? Spain and Japan, then 2P!Romano and 2P!Canada. Since we already know Spain and 2P!Romano don't work together though, it seems obvious that we should move Spain to 2P!Canada and Japan to 2P!Romano!
Oh? Do you hear the wedding bells ringing yet? Just look! Surprisingly, the fashionable 2P Romano seems to have caught Japan's little heart! I'm not entirely sure what they're talking about, but with the Japanese male pointing to his kimono, and the Italian eagerly jotting down notes, it seems obvious that they're getting along more than the others! Though, I think the childish American has a pretty solid match with 2P!China there... Unlike the anger about disrespect coming from their alternate pairing, 2P!China seems to be listening to America's rambling and engaging in it! Little by little, your methods of Cupid are paying off! Good problem-solving!
What are the pieces left now? You have both versions of Prussia, Russia, France, Germany, and Canada. The 1P Spain and China are still on the board, as well as the 2P America and England.
What comes next? Since France and Prussia are both part of the BTT, maybe their pairs will get along! How cute, France is patting the bashful 2P!Prussia's head! That's definitely something the poor boy needs! Now, I guess it should be fairly obvious that these 'perfect pairings' are not...ordinary. So maybe we should take a leap of faith! 2P!England hasn't gone with Russia yet, so let's work with that! Um... But first, can you take that threatening pipe away? Thank you.
Then let's toss together more people! Actually, if we look closely, Canada has been paired up with 2P!Canada, 2P!America, and 2P!Russia, which are the remaining options. So if we continue, then Canada and 2P!Germany should be together! Also, in our group, Spain has already been together with 2P!Canada and 2P!Russia, so 2P!America would be the best option! Now, 2P!Russia has already been with the remaining China, so he should be paired with Germany, while 2P!Canada is paired with China!
Logically, this should all fit! Or, at least most of it.
As assumed, the soft-hearted Canadian took a liking to the option he was left with, and the two seem to be leisurely chatting in the same manner as 2P!Japan and England. Though, it does appear as if the previously paired two have exchanged a kiss or two, from the looks on their faces. France also took a liking to the sweet 2P!Prussia, and now he's leading him over to- Wait! That room is occupied! Reader, one more- Thank you, thank you. Sooner or later we're going to run out of wall space to make these rooms, goodness...
Despite having unfriendly exchanges with the first brother, China actually seems to be talking quite well with the Canada we sent him with. Maybe it's because of the mutual hatred for the American though, there seem to be a lot of pointed looks over to him... Either or, I'm unsure if this will spring a passionate romance, but it appears close enough. On the other side of the room, Germany and 2P!Russia appear to be standing in...complete silence. Er... The icon on the screen says this is a 'conversation' though... Strong and silent types, maybe? We'll see how that works. However, the other pairings appear to have disbanded.
Way to go though! How many people are there now? Six? Look how close we are: Three more pairings and we're done! Piece of cake! How we arrange those pairings? Well, let's look closely!
Hmm... Prussia hasn't been with 2P!England or 2P!America... But let's look for another, simpler perspective on the three remaining options. Though, even Spain has the options of 2P!England and 2P!France to choose from... However, Russia has been paired with 2P!France and 2P!England with no success, so that means he should go off with 2P!America! This leaves Prussia open for 2P!England, and, finally, Spain getting his match with 2P!France!
Let's wait for a moment, and see how this plays out...
The connection between Prussia's 'awesome' bragging and 2P!England's jovial playing-along was almost instantaneous. I think we have nothing to worry about there. Russia and 2P!America might seem a bit rash, with the easily-annoyed American against the easily-annoyed Russian, but with them both able to hold up their own against each other, they seem to have come towards some...odd agreement? I can't hear well what they're talking about. No, don't worry about turning the volume up, it looks alright to me. I feel somewhat bad for Spain, ending up with 2P!France, which is basically the person of the lowest standards you can get, but it appears as if the Spaniard has looked past that to some sort of inner...soul that this smoking Frenchman has...somewhere. Huh. Who knew.
But hey, look at that! You're done! Finished! All the couples are together as they may! Let's sound the wedding bells! Let's open the rooms! Wait- Wait, not literally! Who knows what they're doing behind those doors... We can just leave them, don't worry, I'll clean up.
That's enough brain games for you today. Go sit back, relax, and play Pokemon. Don't worry about me, I'm going to stay here and wait for the next person who decides to read this fanfic...