Disclaimer: Not one universe here is mine – unfortunately.
A/N: A series of drabble (100-word) crossovers I wrote just to prove to myself that they can be done. I make no apology for what's here. I'm a disenfranchised child of the 80s. Don't judge me!
Feedback: Yes please!
Ten Crossovers That Never Happened
© Scribbler, January/February 2007.
Never Met the AmDrag
Xiaolin Showdown/American Dragon: Jake Long
"Fu Dog!"
"Dojo?" Fu greeted the gecko like he greeted all his old pals – with suspicion.
Jake wondered exactly how many creatures Fu owed money. Then he wondered why nobody was trying to hide the caged chimera from the four humans who'd just walked in.
"Hey, Dojo, entourage much?"
"Actually, they're the reason I'm here."
Fu's face cleared. "Hey, anything for a pal. What do you need? Powdered unicorn horn? Eye of newt?"
"The dog… is talking?" murmured the girl. She looked Japanese, but spoke without an accent.
"Fu," said the gecko, "remember that story about the Shen Gong Wu…?"
Never Fought a Psychotic Computer Virus
Xiaolin Showdown/Code Lyoko
"This is so weird!" Kimiko cried.
"I can't feel my hands," said Raimundo. "In fact, I can't feel any part of my body!"
"Do they always whine this much?" Yumi asked impatiently. She'd been irritable since she caught Kimiko making eyes at Ulrich, and the loudest voice against letting the Dragons on Lyoko.
"You got no idea, missy," Clay replied.
"Conversations later, people." Jeremy echoed overhead. "I've got megatanks on radar. Aelita's not far, but she's cornered."
"Chill, poindexter, we'll save your girlfriend." Raimundo promptly fell over his own feet.
"Suddenly I'm full of confidence," Yumi sarcasmed as she ran.
Never Been in a Sitch
Xiaolin Showdown/Kim Possible
"Mwhahahahaha!"
"Mwahahahahahaaa!"
"Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Seriously, will you stop?" Ron wriggled against his bonds. "The evil laugh thing is really old."
"Uh-huh." Attached to the missile beside him, Rufus also wriggled against the mole-rat-proof wire that held him.
Drakken grinned at them. "Be honoured, buffoon. You're witnessing the start of a new evil dynasty."
"I've never been so happy," Jack whispered, eyes shining. "Can I call you Poppa?"
Suddenly the door exploded. "I'm not sure what to do first: kick butt or vomit."
"KP!"
Shego's hands flared. "Allow me to decide for you."
"I call dibs fighting the hot chick!" Raimundo declared.
Never Had a Giant Robot
Xiaolin Showdown/MegasXLR
Raimundo had never before wished so hard that he was old enough to get a driver's permit. "Duuuude."
"Yeah." Coop buffed his nails on his shirt, and then paused to pull it up to his face. "Ooh, barbecue chicken." He licked at the spot.
Kimiko grimaced. "Eew!"
"Tell me about it." Leaning on the doorframe, Kiva rolled her eyes. "I deal with this every day."
"I can relate. I'm the only girl in a temple full of men."
Coop burped. Jamie and Raimundo applauded in an attempt to get Megas's keys.
Kimiko dragged Kiva from the room. "Girl-time. Now."
Never Been Stared At
Xiaolin Showdown/Care Bears
"Dude, once more and I'm gonna drop kick you into a cloudbank."
"I think someone needs a hug." The little pastel bear opened its arms. Raimundo noted with alarm that even the paws were heart-shaped.
He retreated. "Omi, how's the one-dimensional-whatsit?"
"Transimensional Teddy, my friend."
Kimiko approached wearing a bear like a backpack. Her expression told she wasn't impressed with the accessory. "Please tell me we can go home now."
Omi raised the Wu he was repairing with 'strength of love' glue. It had one eye and no feet.
"Let's sing the hug song!"
Raimundo paled and ran for cover.
Never Found a Future that Fits
Xiaolin Showdown/Futurama
"Fry, don't poke that thing!"
Fry pouted and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He ever considered kicking a rock, except that he'd learned most rocks in this crummy future were sentient and likely to kick back. "Why not? I always used to poke stuff."
Leela sighed. "Which is why your arm was bitten off last week."
"It grew back fine!"
"That's not the point."
"I say we kill it," said Bender. "Or exhibit it in a circus and charge admission."
Leela regarded their discovery. "It's just a kid and a gecko in an ice-block. What's the big deal?"
Never Met a Mutant
Xiaolin Showdown/X-Men: Evolution
Wuya would've covered her face with her hands, had she hands. Instead she undulated cantankerously. "You blithering idiot."
"Why don't you ever call me anything nice?"
"Because you're a disgrace to evil!"
"Hey! Attack dog? Not my fault." Jack gave another squeal. His helipack lay in a clawed heap beneath the tree that had saved his life. "Nice pooch. Don't you have squirrels to chase?"
The strange dog glared up at him. Then, to Jack's astonishment, it grew a pair of pigtails and spoke. "Who are yeh, and why were yeh trying t'pinch Amara's wee statue?"
Wuya groaned. "Werewolf. Perfect."
Never Wished Upon a Married Couple
Xiaolin Showdown/Fairly Odd Parents
'Dimmsdale' declared the sign. A further sign boasted, 'Weird-free for Seven Days!" The third, handwritten and made from a pizza box tied to a post, announced, 'FAIRY GODPARENTS! I'll find you! There's nowhere to hide! NOWHERE!'
Clay whistled. "You sure this is it, Dojo?"
"Have I ever led you wrong? Don't answer."
A mushroom cloud of sparkles burst upwards. Dojo shrank. Everyone was dragged down a nearby chimney like water down a plughole. They emerged in a small boy's bedroom.
"The hell?" Raimundo gagged, astonishingly unhurt.
"Uh…" said … a pink-haired fairy? "Your new team of martial-artist bully-bashers are here."
Never Finished School
Xiaolin Showdown/Recess
"Whompinbobula!"
"Teej," murmured Gus, "is this another thing about regular school I don't know about?"
"Man, there ain't nothing regular about this," said Vince. "Did you see that girl kick?"
TJ had indeed seen the kick. It'd stirred something inside him that would not awaken again until he was fourteen and Spinelli wore a skirt that blew up in the breeze from his sister's convertible. "Uh," he said now, "yeah. I saw it."
"How far could a kickball go with power like that?"
Gretchen poked the lifeless 'Jackbot' thing. "Who were those people? And why'd they take Miss Grotkey's necklace?"
Never Been to Chicago
Xiaolin Showdown/Grey's Anatomy
"This isn't possible," George declared. "Not. Possible. You shouldn't be able to walk after an injury like that, let alone get up and … bounce on the bed fighting … what were you fighting?"
"Does it matter?" Kimiko scouted for her other sandal. "These are Jimmy Choos. I am so not going anywhere unless I find the other one."
George surreptitiously kicked it under the ruined bed. "I have to examine you -"
She sighed. "Ever heard of the Healing Necklace of Tampopo?"
"What? No."
"Then trust me, just fork over the sandal and get out of my way."
Fin.