Cye's Wish
By: Icicle Raindream
WARNING: This fanfiction contains shounen ai, or male/male relationships. If you don't care for shounen ai situations, you may want to click back and not read this. However, if you're brave, I say go for it. You might surprisingly like it!
Disclaimer: I'm not copyrighted to anything connected to Ronin Warriors/Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. Credit is due towards their excellent creators, who made one heck of an 80's anime, over in Japan. I'm not making any profit off this.
Notes: I have been dying to write from Cye's point of view for a very, very long time. I haven't really written any stories dealing directly with him, and so I finally got an idea one day. I actually got it while lying in bed early in the morning. This fic just kind of popped into my mind and I couldn't resist writing it down. Please, if you love Cye…before flaming me, make sure you read the entire fic!!! Thanks, enjoy!
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As I passed their room, I heard it.
The noises, they were back. Muffled, yet louder than before, and this time the bed creaked.
I grumbled to myself and shuffled past the closed door. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Rowen and Sage had already found the person they wanted to be with, and each of them returned the same feelings for the other. It wasn't fair that they could wake up each morning with their arms around someone, or the feel of someone's arms around them, while I had to wake up to stiff sheets and a crick in the neck. The only warmth in my bed was my own, and I hated it. I needed something else.
And he slept on the other side of the bedroom. Only he didn't know that I needed him. He had no idea. He was so carefree, so happy with his life right now…who wouldn't be after knowing that Talpa is finally gone?
Simple answer: me. Go ahead. Call me a ninny. I'm a seventeen-year-old male who likes to cook and write poetry and arrange flowers and speak English and lately I haven't been able to suppress the feeling that I'm attracted immensely to my best friend, who also happens to be male. It's all right. I understand if you want to call me a pansy, a flamer. Perhaps I am. I'm young, weak, and vulnerable. I have no idea how to harbor these feelings inside. So what do I do?
Force myself past Rowen and Sage's bedroom and retreat to my safe haven, the kitchen. I know in a few minutes lots of hungry people will be showing up at the table. And they all turn to me. What can I do but help them out? I love them, all of them, despite how much I practically despise Rowen and Sage right now. I may be the oldest one, but I was not the one more experienced in basically anything…everyone always got so much further in life than me. Well, that's how it felt anyway. I knew part of it wasn't true. Nobody could flip pancakes in this house like me…but tossing thickened batter into the air while struggling with a heavy iron skillet was not going to help how I felt. It made me either want to bang myself over the head or whack somebody else with the pan. Mainly our two lovebirds, Rowen and Sage. It just wasn't fair. Is it possible to love and hate someone, or two someones, at the same time?
As they filed in at random order, I kept my face to the stove and casually glanced over my shoulder, observing the next poor soul who managed to drag themselves out of bed for some hearty cooking. I was okay until he showed up.
Oddly, my heart started pounding in my throat as I watched him take his seat. How many times had I seen those pajamas before, all wrinkled and twisted around? He looked like he'd had a catfight in his own bed while sleeping. Although, through all my nervousness, the sight was actually quite calming, I realized. Even though while serving him I almost dropped his food in his lap.
I went back to the stove, replaced the skillet on the burner, and moved to rest my hands on the edge of the sink. I needed to get a hold of myself rather quickly before everyone at the table started shooting questions in my direction. I didn't want that, mainly because I was afraid of what they would say.
I warned myself to calm down and not act like a freak, and then joined my friends at the table. The kitchen was filled with sounds of forks spearing food and mouths chewing and gulping swallows of milk. I just sat and listened, my eyes searching over everyone in the room.
I felt the burn inside when my eyesight passed over Rowen and Sage, sitting there next to each other. It still wasn't fair. I didn't think I'd ever accept it as being fair. They sat and ate the breakfast that I had prepared, the breakfast that had been waiting for me to fix after I'd mentally shoved myself past their noisy bedroom. Was I the only one in the house who was affected by them?
I glanced over at Ryo, who was sitting on my right. My chin slumped into my hand as I watched him, picking up his milk and taking a sip. He seemed quite oblivious to everyone, just kind of enjoying his morning meal, swirling the fork around in the syrup. Was he okay with his life right now? I didn't know…why hadn't I bothered to ask? Ryo had been put through a lot with our battle against Talpa, and he seemed to be okay…even without having someone at his side to hold and protect. Did he just blatantly ignore the sounds of the night and brush it off? He didn't need a relationship like that right now?
As I wondered I looked at his face. He had set his fork down on the edge of his plate and drained his milk. As the glass touched the table again, I saw a tiny smile flicker across his lips. It was aimed for someone…who?
I looked across the table and who did I see? Mia. Of course. The answer struck me painfully upside the head. Of course Ryo didn't pay attention to Rowen and Sage, why would he bother when he's got his own bundle of blooming feelings to deal with, and they were all directed at Mia? The way she grinned back…I don't know if it bothered me or made me feel good. I was happy if Ryo was happy…but that didn't mean that things were fair yet.
No, the only thing I knew that was meant to be was me with a sinkful of dirty dishes and an empty kitchen with a crumb-ridden table. Maybe this wasn't fair either, but I had accepted it…so there.
*
I knocked quietly on the door, standing out in the hall wearing my dark hooded sweatshirt, waiting for a reply. When I got one, I twisted the knob and took a step inside.
"Rowen?" I called.
Sage's voice answered me from across the room, on his bed. "He's not here, Cye. He went to the library for a while."
I couldn't bring myself to look Sage in the eye. I was embarrassed, and of what, I had no idea, but I just nodded slightly and began to turn away, my chin tucked into my chest.
"Can I help you with something?"
He sounded like normal Sage. He sounded like he really did want to help. He sounded semi-concerned for me. He sounded like he was in a good mood. He even placed his book aside and sat it on the bed, giving me his full attention.
Maybe all that's what made me start to cower inside. To have all of Sage's attention on me, what with everything I had been feeling towards him and Rowen, that's what made me want to be swallowed up by my sweatshirt and disappear. I managed to face him anyway. I was a Warrior; I should act like it, right? Swallow the fear and put on a brave face.
I turned back to Sage, briefly catching his eyes, but when the blush rose onto my cheeks I looked away and tried to find my voice.
"Cye?" Sage asked. "Are you okay?"
I breathed a sigh louder than I wanted to. "Yeah," I told him. "I just wanted to know something."
"Go for it--what's your question?"
Ugh, why did he have to sound so eager? It made me feel even more shaky that I already was. "Sage, when…um…you…when Rowen…um, when…" Crap. This wasn't working at all. So much for swallowing the fear.
Sage sat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at my face. He looked half-puzzled, but half-interested too. He waited patiently while I stuttered some more, my words coming no where near what I had originally wanted to ask Rowen.
Finally, I mumbled, "Forget it, Sage. Just tell Rowen to come talk to me when he gets home, okay?" That didn't sound too much like an order, did it?
Even as Sage nodded and I turned, I heard his voice. "What do you want to talk about, Cye?"
God…he was home already? My voice was slowly vanishing again, and now thanks to Sage, my insides were a jumbled mess of goop and my bones were rattling.
Maybe that's why I bowed my head and pushed sharply past Rowen, my shoulder slamming into his as I fled from the doorway and away from the room that I hated so much. It contained something I didn't think I would ever have. Companionship.
I heard Rowen and Sage call after me as I shut my door tightly behind me and locked it, breathing heavily. I had just turned myself in to them. Now they knew that something weird was up with me, and all I had wanted was a small, private conversation with Rowen…the one person I knew wouldn't tease me or ridicule my stupid questions. He probably wouldn't even pry. Yeah, he could be a jokester, but not about something as serious as this. Sage probably wouldn't have joked around either, but he was so terrifying for me to face right now. I don't know why.
*
"Heyyyyyyyy!!!"
A loud whine from outside in the hall woke me up from my hasty nap. I blinked at the wall, then rolled over on my back, looking towards the door. The pounding began.
"Hey, Cye…lemme in! It's Kento! Open up, will ya?"
I stumbled off the bed and made my way to the door. I quickly unlocked it and wrenched the door open, trying not to look in his face as he stepped in.
"What was that all about?" he asked as he closed the door behind him.
"Nothing!" I spat defensively, going back to my bed. "I just forgot what I was going to ask him, okay?"
There was a moment of silence, then Kento asked softly, "Cye…what are you talking about?"
I gave myself a mental shake. "What are you talking about?" I demanded back.
"I just wanted to know why the door was locked, that's all."
Jesus, Cye…you really need to get a hold of yourself. Kento hadn't been there before, to witness what an idiot you made of yourself earlier in Rowen and Sage's room. You've got to forget about that now!!
I shook my head. "Accident," I lied. "Didn't mean to." I lay down on my bed again. I didn't want to look at him anymore, to know what I wanted but couldn't get was standing there, confused. It was too much for me right now, and as it was I couldn't believe I'd just spouted off my angry words at him. I'd never done that before. Cye the pansy, the flamer with balls of steel.
Yeah, right.
"Hey, Cye?"
I swallowed and replied, "Yes?"
"Is something wrong, buddy?"
"Now, Kento, what would make you think that?" I asked him, trying to keep the hurt and sarcasm out of my voice.
"I don't know…you're acting kinda different today."
I closed my eyes. "I don't know what you mean."
"Cye, you wanna talk about something?"
Yes. There has been something that I have been wanting to tell you for such a long time now…it's been sitting in my stomach for as long as I can remember, but with each step you take closer to me, it gets shoved back down further, into unreachable places I didn't even know I had inside…
I could tell he was getting closer to my bed, so I abruptly rolled over on my side and faced the wall, keeping my eyes closed. I heard Kento stop short.
"All right, if that's the way you want to be…"
No, it's not. It's not the way I want to be…but the way I want you probably wouldn't, and so there's nothing left for me but to face the wall and stare miserably at the inside of my eyelids…
"Cye, I'm here, you know…"
God, he didn't think I knew that? He had only been the center of my thoughts for about…I don't know…shall we say ever since I met him? No, ever since Rowen and Sage…
I did not want to think about them. Not right now.
I sat up and shot off the bed, racing past Kento and fumbling ungracefully for the doorknob. Thankfully, the door opened and I was let out into the glorious freedom of the hallway, where my feet met carpet and left fire tracks in my wake. I don't think I ever took three stairs at a time before. I practically ripped the banister off.
But none of that mattered. I had blown it. Everything had been there…right there in front of me, Kento standing there, worried and confused, the door closed behind us…me lying on the bed…
Plain and simple, Cye the little pansy-ass Ronin Warrior who doesn't like to fight and cooks in his off-time was chicken shit.
*
Later that night, after I'd confined myself to the wandering around the lake all day, I found that I was pretty tired and that sleep would probably do me a world of good. If my mind was as physically tired as it was, then forget my body. The more I thought about it, the more my bed sounded comforting, and the more I just wanted to be tucked into it. Of course, it would still be stiff sheets and my own warmth, but I just guessed that for now it would have to do.
So I slipped into the house and locked the front door behind me, then climbed the stairs sleepily and went to the bedroom I shared with Kento. As the light from the hall spilled into the room, I caught sight of him in his bed, the covers all tussled about. I couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake, so I just shut the door, went to my side of the room, changed into my pajamas, and slid under the sheets as quietly as possible. I didn't want to wake him if he had been asleep.
"Hey, Cye?"
Damn. Scratch that.
"Yes, Kento?" I answered softly.
"Do you ever make wishes?"
What kind of question was that, coming from Kento?
"Yeah, sure I do, Kento," I replied. It was true, after all. If one didn't have wishes to hold onto, what did they have?
"What's your wish?"
"What?"
"Don't you have a wish, Cye?"
"Y-yes…I do…" I clenched my eyes shut. If only he knew…
"Well, then, what's your wish?"
"I…well…my wish is…" My wish is not tolerated by my voice, that what it is. Otherwise I would have said everything to him already. My wish is to be loved by someone like you. To be loved by you.
I took a deep breath. "Well, Kento…to tell you the truth…" Was this it? Was I able to just blurt it all out, finally, and get it off my chest?
He waited.
"Your wish is…?" he prompted a few seconds later through the darkness.
I squeezed my sheet in my hands, my heart pounding in my nose. It just wasn't possible. I wasn't able to say it, I couldn't. I sighed shakily instead and twisted the sheet harder in my hands.
"You shouldn't tell your wishes to other people," I told him lamely. "They won't come true."
"Aww, Cye…that's just superstition. C'mon, tell me your wish. It's only me."
Yes, Kento, that's exactly it. It's only you. Only you for me, and I can't say it. I just can't find it in myself to say anything to you, anything that I ever wanted to.
"They won't come true…" I whispered, feeling my throat thicken.
"Cye, you really believe that?"
I sat up quickly and kicked the sheet off, crawling towards the end of my bed. I stumbled to land my feet on the floor and then ran for the door. I think I saw Kento's figure sit up on his bed and watch in amazement as I once again fled the room, the door closing loudly behind me.
My footsteps pounded in my ears as I walked madly down the hall, passing closed doors left and right. Rowen and Sage's door…it mocked me. I glared at it as I passed it, thinking that I should just turn and send my fist through the wood. The laughter rang in my ears as I walked away from it, to a door on my right that was slightly cracked open.
I didn't know what I was doing--I ran towards the door, bringing my hands up and pushing against it, throwing it open. The sleepy form on the bed sat up and said my name, wondering what was going on with me as I made a beeline for the bed and jumped onto it, latching myself onto the warm figure. I tried to lose myself in the person's neck, crying helplessly now.
"If you tell a wish it won't come true…" I murmured to the person as they locked their arms around me.
"Cye, what's the matter?" He sounded so worried as he rocked me, holding tightly around my waist.
This is what I wanted…I wanted someone who would do this for me…just hold me and ask me what was wrong…feel their body heat against mine…
But this was the wrong person. Sure, I loved him…but not as much as Kento…
"Nightmare, nightmare," I blubbered, lying through my teeth. "I had a terrible nightmare, Ryo."
"Okay, okay," he said soothingly. "It's gonna be all right, Cye. You're going to be fine. You just stay here with me tonight, okay? I'll get you through it."
I squeezed Ryo harder, my eyes clenching closed tightly, the tears still slipping down my cheeks onto his soft shirt. How had I become such a mess of myself?
*
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside the open window and sunshine sparkling through the white curtains. I blinked a few times to clear my eyes from sleep, and then took a glance around me.
I was clutching the pillow with both my hands insanely hard, and lying in this absurd position with one leg bent up over the other outstretched one, projecting my rear end almost into the air, lying on my left side. The sheet was half up to my waist, all crumpled around me, and one corner of the bedspread had sprung off to tangle around my bare feet, which stuck out the end of the untucked sheet. I took a quick glance over my shoulder, at the other side of the bed.
Bare. Poor Ryo. He probably couldn't stand the way I must've flip-flopped around all night and left early this morning, wanting for the freedom of release from the nighttime torture I put him through.
The door opened then and I sat up, freeing my legs from the sheet and blinking at the figure that stood before me, holding a bowl of something steamy on a tray. He smiled at me and walked over to the side of the bed, handing the tray to me.
"How do you feel?"
I blushed into my bowl of broth. "I'm sorry, Ryo, for what I did last night."
He shook his head. "Hey, don't worry about it. We all have nightmares and dreams and stuff."
I nodded to my reflection, a jaded yellow color with little swirls of grease droplets staring sadly back at me. Of course we all had dreams--I knew that only too well. My dream would probably never come true. Not with Cye the faerie screwing up every chance he got.
"You feel any better?"
I nodded again and picked up my spoon. It was a lie. I didn't feel any better, maybe I felt worse. I couldn't tell, and it probably didn't matter anyway.
Ryo turned and walked back to the door, about to leave. I hastily swallowed my hot spoonful of soup and blurted, "Ryo, have you ever had something that you wanted to tell someone, but just couldn't find the right time to say it to them?"
He turned back to me, eyebrows wrinkled in thought. I blushed to the roots of my hair. How could I just say something like that? To Ryo, of all people? He never had trouble saying what he wanted to, at least not to people like Talpa and the Dynasty soldiers. He just took initiative--something I needed to grasp onto.
"Well, Cye…if it's something really important, then you just have to wait for the right time to come. Say it when it feels right, and it'll have more meaning." He paused.
I smiled slightly at him, still blushing.
"You know what I mean?"
I nodded again, looking back down to my bowl.
Ryo suddenly laughed. "Man, I should take my own advice sometimes, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I asked him, looking back at his face.
He shrugged. "Well, I guess there's just something we all want to tell someone, right?"
"Yeah," I agreed whole-heartedly. "There is."
"Yeah…" Ryo's voice trailed off and I could tell he was thinking. He brightened a minute after and then said cheerily, "Well, Mia and I are going into town today, so I'll see you later, buddy."
"Yeah, thanks, Ryo," I said, going back to my soup.
He nodded and walked through the doorway. "Sage and Rowen will be home, Cye, if you start feeling bad again. They'll help you out." His voice faded as footsteps pounded down the stairs.
Now you see why we all love Ryo to death? He cares too much about us. But he didn't have to mention those two names, now did he? My insides cringed at the thought of them. There was no way I could talk to them, at least not right now. Uh-uh…not me. Little Cye would rather just sit here and eat his soup. Little coward Cye would just like to sit here. Baby Cye would like to stay. Little coward baby Cye would like to slowly but surely be eaten up by the bed. Ronin Warrior, my ass. I wasn't a warrior, I was a wimp. As Kento would say, a little wussy-boy. Little wussy, wimpy, coward, frightened, baby Cye. That's what I was.
I focused on my soup then and realized that it was raining in Ryo's bedroom. Wait a minute…how could it be raining? The sun was shining outside.
Moron. I was crying into my bowl. Well, that just completes it, huh? Little wussy, wimpy, coward, frightened, gutless, spineless, cry-baby Cye. Full circle.
I shoved the bowl and tray away and mercilessly scrubbed at my eyes, drying them. I would not let this eat me up inside. I would just have to face it--some things in life are harder to say than others. And if I never got to say what I wanted, well…what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
I climbed out of Ryo's bed and carried the tray downstairs, already knowing that there would be another sinkful of dishes waiting for me to dive into. I actually kind of welcomed the idea of doing the dishes. I could be alone with my thoughts and not have to face anybody. Nothing better than being alone when you knew you couldn't face someone, right?
Right. So I made my way into the kitchen.
BIG mistake. I knew it right off the bat, as soon as I stepped onto the cold linoleum floor. Just my lousy luck. Of course the kitchen wouldn't be empty--who was I kidding? And who better to be sitting at the table talking and laughing with each other than Rowen and Sage?
Ugh…I could feel my stomach melt into a bubbly puddle inside, restlessly tossing and turning. I tried not to look at them as I walked over to the sink and carefully placed the tray and bowl down. I reached across the counter to my right to grab a sponge and brushed the soft material of a shirt instead. I jerked my hand back and looked into his face.
"Hey, Cye…you feelin' better?" Rowen looked truly concerned, and the blush started up again. How come he was always so calm and cool around everyone?
I gulped and nodded slightly, looking away.
"Are you sure?" Sage's voice was maddening, even more calm and cooler than Rowen's. And still completely horrifying.
I closed my eyes for a second and nodded again, facing the sink, away from the two of them.
I felt a hand clap down on my shoulder and jumped a mile. "Are you really okay?" Sage asked. "We could talk about it with you. Ryo said you were pretty shaken up."
"Yeah, it must've been bad. Besides, you had something you wanted to ask me anyway, right?" He wasn't being pushy--Rowen--but it was hard on me. He couldn't tell.
I shook my head. "I'm okay," I squeaked.
"Cye, we're here, you know." Sage's voice floated to my other ear as he stepped to my left side.
I quickly glanced from him to Rowen, who was on my right. I felt trapped, surrounded. They had me covered on both sides. The only way out was turning completely around.
I shook my head again. "I know that," I managed to sputter, staring into the white porcelain of the sink.
"So let's talk, buddy," Rowen suggested. "You look like you got something on your mind."
Yes, how much I just want to scream right now, thank you, Rowen…
"Could…could you guys just let me be right now?" I begged in an even smaller voice.
Rowen semi-pouted, I could hear it in his voice. "Don'tcha wanna talk?"
I closed my eyes again, balling my hands into fists on the edge of the sink, and shook my head. "No, I want to be alone," I whispered.
"Are you sick, Cye?" Sage asked, his hand moving from my shoulder to my forehead.
"I'm fine," I said through clenched teeth. I could feel myself automatically start to shake at his analyzing me.
"You don't look fine," Rowen said, sounding worried. "You look like you gotta heap of troubles to deal with."
Give the man a prize…but first, someone please remove Sage's hand from my head! I'm so scared…I don't know what to do…
Unfortunately, my body knew what to do. I could feel the tears dripping from the corner of my eyes, down over my cheeks, plopping into the sink.
"Please don't do this to me," I said, shying away from Sage's touch.
"Cye…what's…are you…what's the matter with you?"
I gritted my teeth, unable to stop the tears. "I don't know," I choked. "I don't know, but if you tell a wish it won't come true…" My voice began to vanish, as it had recently done around Sage. I turned on my heel, thankful when Sage's hand finally dropped to his side. "I don't know," I whispered. I put my hands on my head and began to run on trembly legs, as far away from them as possible. "I don't know!"
*
I skidded sharply to my right and eyed the staircase. It was heading towards me at amazing speed, the dark maroon of the new carpet bouncing up and down in my vision. My hands clutched my head even tighter than before as I neared the safety of the steps, and just then the front door opened and a figure stepped in. My mind didn't need for me to look at the person, it already knew the outline, the figure, the shape, the structure of the body--it was Kento. My dear, beloved Kento…
I managed to pick my legs up high enough to propel myself off each step up to the next one, the tears still streaming down my cheeks. My chest was unbelievably tight, hindering my breathing, making it come out in heaving gasps, and my legs ached as I reached the second-floor landing and continued to race away. From what, I wondered?
I heard three voices call for me, all confused and worried, from the bottom of the staircase. I knew that I couldn't lock Kento out of our bedroom forever, so I quickly changed my destination and fled for the bathroom instead. The lock clicked loudly in my ears, over my intensely beating heart. My head sagged against the inside of the door, my lungs burning. The tears still didn't stop.
My stomach was going to force its way out of my body. That's what it felt like as I dragged myself over to the toilet and rested my face on the cool porcelain of the lid. I curled into a ball there, still breathing heavily, my eyes closed. The chill from the cold commode actually made me feel a bit better.
Then I heard someone asking me if I was all right from outside the door. The person knocked a few times and repeated his question, but I couldn't reply. I didn't even know whether or not I wanted to say anything, and I hugged the toilet harder in silence.
"Cye, I'm worried about you…are you okay? Let me in!"
I still said nothing.
"Come on, Cye…let me in and we'll talk!"
I banged my head once against the toilet, soft enough so it wouldn't hurt too much.
"Cye, I'm going to break the door open if you don't let me in!" He wasn't being nasty, or demanding…it burned me that instead he was being totally devoted to his friend, a caring soul reaching out for another.
"Cye…" His voice began to fade away.
My breath had calmed now, and my stomach was still in place, so I picked myself up from off the floor and walked over to the door shakily. I unlocked it and, staring at the floor, opened the door all the way.
"Cye, what is going on with you?"
The tear streaks still stained my cheeks, and I lifted my eyes from the floor to his fully. Rowen stood in front of me, his hair a little mussed from running after me (I guessed), and his face was painted with a mixture of shock, concern, and maybe even a little anger. I don't know…I can't remember a time ever seeing Rowen truly angry. He was too cool-headed.
My lip quivered as I looked into his eyes, into that dark indigo peering back at me, trying to deduce my odd behavior. I wanted to tell him that his attempt to figure me out was futile. Even with all his wonderful intelligence, Rowen the mastermind wouldn't be able to understand Cye the pansy-flamer-faerie. It just wouldn't happen.
I took a step towards him, feeling suddenly exhausted and extremely hot in the face. He walked to me, holding his arms out in a "what gives?" gesture, and I just let myself fall into them, burying my nose into his shirt and closing my eyes. I shook as I held him.
"You're sick, Cye," Rowen stated. "You're burning up, I can feel it."
I nodded into the fabric, giving in.
"Come on, you've got to get into bed right now."
I let Rowen half-carry me into my bedroom, even though I knew that this meant all-access for everyone to come visit me now. He tucked me into my cool sheets, pulling them up to my chin and smoothing my hair back. I shut my eyes against the whiteness of my walls.
"I'm gonna get you a cold compress. I'll be right back, okay?"
I nodded and mumbled, "Rowen?"
I heard him turned around and face me.
"I don't want any visitors. Only you come back."
His reply was soft and understanding. "All right, Cye."
I nodded as the door opened and closed behind him. I pulled a hand out from under my covers and swiped at my face, clearing it of those damn embarrassing tears.
* * *
Did you ever get the feeling you're being watched?
When I opened my eyes again, not only was Rowen leaning over my bed, but Sage, too…sitting there on the edge of my mattress reaching for my head. I blinked at them, unable to locate my voice at the moment, and felt warm pressure being lifted from my forehead. Sage handed something off to Rowen, who dipped it into a pot that sat on my night table next to me, rung it out, folded it, and replaced it on my head. It was a cloth, I realized. And the pot was full of cold water.
"How are you feeling, Cye?" Sage asked, just barely above a whisper.
I shook my head slightly--I didn't know. "Sleepy?" I murmured, blinking again.
"That's a side effect of the medicine we gave you," Rowen informed me gently. "It's going to take your fever down. Mia's making you something to eat now, are you hungry?"
"Mia's back already?" I asked him. "Ryo just left with her a little while ago."
Sage gave me a small half-smile. "That was yesterday, Cye."
"You mean…?"
"You were pretty tired yesterday after I put you in bed," Rowen said. "You stayed there all night."
I was surprised. I normally didn't sleep that much, even sick. "I did?"
Rowen and Sage both nodded. "You must've been sick for a while," Sage reasoned. "It just reached its peak yesterday."
There were a few moments of silence, and I could tell they were thinking about what had happened at the sink, with me acting like a total moron, blubbering and running away from them. They were probably still curious.
I swallowed the frog in my throat. This had to be done, I knew it. And if they got totally offended at what I was going to say, they could just chalk it up to being another side effect of whatever medicine they had given me and brush it off like it was no big deal. And maybe then I could sleep peacefully.
I closed my eyes for a second, and then focused on their figures next to me. "I want to ask you something," I said lowly. My heart began to pound, and I clawed the sheet that was in my hand.
"Go ahead, Cye," Rowen said.
"You can ask us anything," Sage added quickly. No doubt I had freaked the two of them out as of late, and they wanted me to finally ask what I had intended to ask a long time ago.
I cleared my throat weakly. "How did you guys…how did you tell each other…how did you know…"
"How we felt for each other?" Sage finished for me, with a knowing expression on his face. It was almost as if he expected me to ask them this.
I nodded, feeling like a little kid, bringing the sheet closer to my chin. Was I afraid of their answer?
Rowen settled on the edge of the bed next to Sage. "To tell you the truth, Cye," he began, "it just kind of happened. One day we were best friends, the next…well, we were still best friends, just more so. Things just kind of worked out for us."
I nodded to him, turning my head away, feeling my heart sink. "Things don't work out for me," I told them shamefully. "I'm just a little loser."
"Don't say that," Sage scolded gently. "It's not true."
"Things'll work out for you in time," Rowen assured me. I'd be damned if he didn't sound like a professor, and a wise one at that. "You just gotta be patient for the right time."
I started feeling like they knew exactly what had been wrong with me for the past few days, and it was almost a settling feeling inside. They understood, maybe. Either that or they had been deeply researching me while speculating with Ryo, since he had said the same thing to me.
You gotta wait for the right time to come, Cye…
"Thanks," I mumbled, then snuggled into my pillow.
"I think we'll go get that food for you now," Rowen said. I felt him tug Sage off the bed, and the door closed softly behind them. I was left alone in the silence of my room.
The door reopened a few minutes later and carefully placed footsteps sounded across the shaggy rug to my bed. A weight sat on my bed then, and I heard the small clatter of a bowl on a plate rest on my night table. Food had arrived, but who had it brought with it?
I turned my head back and opened my eyes, staring into his. They were gentle, soft, concerned as they looked back at me, his hair hanging a bit into his eyes. How many times had I told him to get that haircut already?
That thought made a smile drift onto my face, and he smiled back at me. He seemed to be a bit more relaxed now, and he ran a hand through the back of his hair.
"How ya feelin', buddy?" he asked quietly. "I was worried about you."
"Really?" I squeaked.
He nodded earnestly. "Yeah. You scared the holy hell out of me yesterday when you went flying up the stairs like that."
I almost laughed. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay." A larger smile spread across his face. "I heard the bathroom door shut and just figured…you know, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!"
A laugh escaped me then, realizing that Kento always had that effect on people. He was contagiously happy most of the time, and always had a quirky comment to brighten any mood.
And speaking of moods…
Do it, Cye, I commanded myself. The timing was perfect, at least for me. He was here, the door was shut, I was back in my bed…food was next to me…he was smiling…we were alone, and if everything went terribly, well, blame Rowen and Sage for giving me that crappy-ass medication for my fever then. It was their fault for making me act like a lunatic.
I sat up abruptly, my compress falling into my lap as I disturbed my cocoon of sheets, and I wrenched my arms out from underneath, reaching for him. To my utter surprise, he didn't look taken aback or shocked or anything like that, instead, he reached too and pulled my head to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his muscular torso, feeling his breathing against mine. I didn't quite know what to say. Had Rowen and Sage been up to something or what? They must have spilled everything to him.
"Kento?" I murmured, interrupting our comfortable silence.
"Yeah, Cye?"
I paused. "Remember when you asked me what my wish was?"
"Yeah, I remember, Cye."
I hugged him tighter. "This was it."
He just chuckled softly and encased me in his embrace. I still felt a little warm in the face, but I couldn't tell if it was fever or embarrassment or his body heat or just my imagination. Things had suddenly become so mellow between us, and it had been ridiculously easy, too, to get this way. Rowen and Sage were right, those conniving lovebirds of ours.
Things did work out. I had someone to hold me and ask what was wrong and I could feel his body heat against mine. This time it wasn't the wrong person.
My dream, my wish…came true.