The Completely Random Events Of Naruto Uzumaki
Chapter 1
Do You Have…A Waffle??
Once upon a time there was a boy named Naruto!
He woke up and had a urge to eat one of mankind's most yummiest creations! ZE WAFFLE!!
He tried to enter his local corner shop, but being the dickheads they are, they kicked him out because they thought he was a demon! He took care of this problem with a nicely thrown Molotov cocktail.
In the burning remains of the shop he found a human hand (CRISPY!) a can of nothing, and waffles that instantly turned to ash… Naruto sulked off and went to find waffles….only to find Tora, the evil cat.. Naruto promptly ate it.
During his epic journey he found a RPG…which he fired at the hokage tower…killing many including Sarutobi, he came across Sakura, who then started to yell at him, he placed sakura in his mouth and chopped her in half with his teeth of carnage. Sasuke seeing this, saw it to be wise and not fuck with Naruto and go home for the remainder of the day.
Naruto went to the Uchiha district and entered Sasuke's house, he saw Sasuke and held a shotgun to his head (to the human eye, Naruto is holding a dead kitten) Sasuke, fearing Naruto and his dead kitty, gave Naruto some Waffles and sent him on his way.. on his way he killed 2 random civilians, bringing his kill count up to 25, enabling him to use a tactical nuke and bomb the Uchiha district, giving his enough exp to prestige!
Naruto ate his Waffles of pure fucking godliness and went to bed as the remainder of the city is in total havoc.
The next morning…Naruto felt like having Pancakes….