As the rain soaked the lands, the roads, and the vegetations, I rested on the front porch and cried. The calming sound of the rain that dropped in different time signatures that sounds like they were creating a perfect harmony to only become my remedy of trying not to remember Mei. The front porch on which we always have our time together, listening to stories unheard by the other people besides us, listening to what nature has to offer. The rain soaked the land is normal, but the ones that come out from my eyes weren't. As I leaned towards a pillar, the thought of her began to swarmed my mind like a pack of bees trying to sting me. In this house, under the heavy rain, I sat and cried. I sat and cried over the love that never meant to bloom, the love that never meant to last. Many days I've spent with her, many months of understandings, and years trying to figure the whole thing out... only to lead me to keep a straight face trying to get comfortable around the truth.
As the cicadas preparing their concert in the rain, the electricity went out as I brushed the upper half of my body. The clock ticks 06:30 and 47.55 seconds, and yet, the bathtub won't let me got up and dry myself up. The clock ticks slowly and the evening went off slower than I thought before. The cicadas in the backyard began to form an orchestra amongst the trees and the bushes, and the bathtub stunned me for a moment. At the moment where the cicadas began to play their music sheet, the fireflies crossed paths and create a calming lighting for the music for the rainy days. I tried to move my body, but it won't budge. I tried to grab my towel, but the towel seems too far to reach. During their play, I never feel so calm in a night. I put my upper half looking at the large window that overlooks the garden, high enough to hide my bust and enjoyed the concert in the garden. The rain slowly let up, and the concert slowly ends in a grand finale. The concert ends as the electricity slowly regain consciousness and my body is no longer stunned.
I went back to the front porch to get the aftertaste of today's rain. The evening turns into night, and the dark citrus-coloured sky turns into an indigo blue sky. I never thought that a clear sky could have the most painful rain I've ever experienced. This year's summer has gone into the most painful autumn. Although it was meant to be the calming season of the year.
When I was younger, rains would be the only place where I could soak myself to death and can still be happy about it. Now, it soaked me to death, thanks to the memories kept inside it, thanks to every question I've been wondering to answer it eventually. As simple as its sound, rain is always a complex wonder of nature. I wonder why the sound of the rain made memories lasted a bit longer and linger. As I look at the children who had their time with rainy day, as seen earlier today, I feel the excitement of an inner-child inside me ignited a lifelong memory of playing under the rain, laughing and cheering, without overthinking about love. Now, it serves nothing more than to hide my cries, to hide the pain I've got all along.
The last droplets of rain finally let up and gave its way to the full moon that has just woke up from its slumber. The rain before the night was beautiful, but it carries a proof that Mei left me.
And it wasn't even a dream.