Three years.
Three years since Jemma died, leaving Leo alone. Each day dragged on for him, and it killed him. He was struggling to move on, but each waking day made it worse because he knew he would never see her bright smile and he would never hear her beautiful voice again.
Some days were harder for him than others.
Everything would come crashing back to him on some mornings, and he would sulk the rest of the day.
The others were cautious around him, as if he would break at any moment. They rarely mentioned her around him, and it drove him crazy. He felt that the team had forgotten about her. He found that notion impossible, however, because there were so many lovely things about Jemma that no one could ever forget.
However, Leo was also glad they didn't mention her around him.
He kept thinking about the baby; their baby.
Oh, how it killed him when he learned she was pregnant when she died. They tried so hard to keep their relationship under lock and key; which is why he was startled when she kissed him the day before she died. It was odd, because they never admitted their feelings to each other how they really felt, yet they were together.
The more he thought about their relationship, the more complicated it seemed, but before, when she was still alive, it seemed so simple. However, Leo tried not to think about it. He didn't want to think about it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to stop thinking about it; just like he couldn't stop thinking about Jemma.
Leo figured it was high time he let her go, but he just couldn't bring himself to do that. He knew Coulson had thought about brining someone new on the team, but it never happened. He also knew Coulson had thought about letting him go, at least for a little while until he could gather himself, but he knew Coulson wouldn't do that either.
Leo needed them more than ever; even if it's been three years since that dreadful day.
He threw himself into his work since she died, trying to lose himself in something productive. But there were times he, and the others, found himself turning to say something to Jemma, and he'll stop and stare blankly when he remembers she's not there anymore, and she never will come back.
Now, there finally was a mission for Leo to lose himself in, even if he wouldn't be out in the field. He lost himself by focusing on making sure the weapons were correct and everything was running smoothly. That was his job as an engineer, and he wasn't going to allow himself to screw that up anytime soon. Not when the safety of his family was involved. He wasn't going to let one of them die because he wasn't paying attention to minor details; not like how he let Jemma die.
Leo was worried about this mission, however. It seemed to be simple enough; all they needed to do was protect a target of Centipede for the day until other SHIELD agents could come and bring the target to a safe house. However, he was worried because there was little information to go by when it came down to why the target was being hunted and how Centipede was involved. He feared that the mission could get the team killed.
He wouldn't be able to stand it if the others died.
The engineer shook his head to get rid of that nasty thought and continued to tinker with the ICERs, mumbling and muttering to himself the entire time. He had also picked up that habit after she had died; it was a way for him to distract himself even more so. At first Leo was a little self-conscious of it, but then he grew accustomed to speaking to himself and ignored the odd and worried looks he received. It was a part of him, now, and the others slowly started accepting it.
Once Leo made sure each ICER was at peak condition and there was no way it was going to fail, he stopped fiddling with them and left them alone. He climbed up the stairs to inform the team that the weapons were good to go. When he got there, he saw them all in the debriefing room. Taking a deep breath, he went inside to join them. Coulson stopped what he was saying and nodded to him, asking, "Is everything set?"
"Everything's ready to go, sir," Leo replied, his voice sounding quiet and hollow. He then turned and left once more, not bothering to stay for the rest of the debrief since it really didn't concern him, and he headed back down to the lab.
Leo watched as the team gathered the ICERs, putting on their bullet proof vests and going over the plan once more. They were to escort the target out of their home and into a protected vehicle. Then, they would meet the other team at a secure location so the target could be safely brought to the safe house. Leo realized it sounded too easy, and his worry grew; he just didn't share it.
While he was listening to them get ready, he heard Skye mumbling something about how they knew almost nothing on the target in general. Leo narrowed his eyes, praying that Centipede did not see this coming and would not attack them or the other team. By what it sounded like, there were only two teams, and there were no decoys to throw Centipede off the real trail.
All he could do know was stay on the Bus and keep in touch in case they needed his help from afar. He hoped it wouldn't come down to that, but he knew anything could happen on a mission.
Watching them head off after wishing them luck, Leo looked down at his feet sadly, not enjoying the fact he was now completely alone on the Bus, and shuffled into the lab, shutting the doors behind him. All Leo could do now was wait.
A few hours later, and the team was coming back. After speaking with them, Leo became increasingly worried. Coulson sounded weary, and Leo had a feeling the mission did not go according to plan. Finally, when they reached the Bus, he rushed out of the lab, but was surprised to see that the team seemed relatively unharmed. "What happened?" He demanded, noticing that Coulson was focused on something in the vehicle.
"Centipede knew about the mission," May replied, sounding irritated. "They attacked the second team before we reached them and killed the target."
"They sent a sniper to get the job done," Coulson explained, standing up straight. "Can anyone else try and get her out of the car…?"
The others shook their heads, explaining that she didn't trust them, and Leo became extremely confused. "Wait, get who out of the car?"
"A little girl," Skye jumped in. "She was the daughter of the target. Centipede didn't get to her, but she's scared."
Curiously and cautiously, Leo headed over and looked inside the back of the car, seeing a little girl huddled in the corner of the door and the back seat. She stared at him with large, terrified brown eyes, and for a moment his breath caught in his throat. The little girl reminded him so much of Jemma, and it sent a fresh wave a grief through him. He ignored it, and offered a small smile and a kind hand. "It's alright," he soothed. "We're not going to hurt you."
She stared at him for a little while longer before slowly creeping over and taking his hand. Leo gently helped her out of the car and shut the door, the little girl not releasing his hand as she hid behind him, shielding herself away from the others.
"Well," Ward said, looking slightly impressed. "At least she likes one of us."
"Sir," Leo asked, glancing over to Coulson. "What are we going to do with her?"
"We're going to find her a new place to live," he explained, nodding to Skye. "We need to see if we can find any living family members. If not, we'll figure something out from there."
The others headed upstairs to do what they needed to do, but Leo stayed where he was with the little girl. He looked down at her, and she stared back up at him with wariness. "Who are you?" She asked, her voice small.
"Name's Leo," he replied, keeping his voice soft. "What's your name?"
"Jemma."
His heart stopped once more, but he forced himself to ignore it once more. He wasn't going to break down again; especially not now, not in front of the little kid. "It's nice to meet you, Jemma."
She gazed around the cargo bay nervously, overwhelmed by everything around her. He realized that she might be hungry, thirsty, or tired, so he asked her if she wanted to go upstairs. Jemma hesitated, but nodded and Leo gently led her up.
Jemma stayed close by Leo's side as he guided her to his bunk. He decided to let her rest there, until the empty bunk could be cleaned out. His old bunk hadn't been touched for a while, and he didn't want to send her in there when he didn't even know if it was clean.
Jemma curled up on his bed, huddled under the blankets. The day's events must've worn her out, because she was soon asleep. A light smile tugged at the corners of Leo's mouth as he backed out of his bunk and headed towards Coulson's office to let him know how she was holding up.
A few days gone by and nothing could be found about Jemma's family. After turning up as many documents as they could, they agreed that she didn't have any other living family members. That saddened Leo, since he knew how hard it was to be alone. However, when he found out that the others were now looking for an orphanage to put Jemma in, it saddened him even more.
He and Jemma grew a close bond over those days, and he gained her trust. She even started to trust the others, but she was still a little cautious around them. He was secretly happy of the fact she trusted him more, but he also felt honored. Leo thought his constant grief would cause Jemma to avoid him, but the little girl still looked up to him.
It was also apparent that Jemma had given Leo a new hope in life. She had gotten his mind off of his lover, and he had become a father to the little girl. The two were starting to become inseparable.
Leo even felt the difference with Jemma around. Before, he felt like he was alone, and he was always depressed. Now that he had someone to take care of, he felt happier and everything seemed to be brighter. Although he wouldn't admit it, Leo saw Jemma has a daughter, and occasionally imagined that, if Simmons and their baby had lived, this would be their child.
He showed her some things in the lab, and she seemed to take an interest in them. Their bond grew even stronger, and the team was noticing it. It was hard for them not to notice, in fact. Leo had definitely taken on the protective father role in Jemma's life.
However, the fact that the two had grown the father-daughter bond also presented a problem; Jemma was going to go to an orphanage. Leo was painfully aware of this at night, after he would tuck Jemma into bed and head back to his old bunk. During the day, however, the thought of her needing to leave soon evaporated and never came up once in his mind. Leo knew he was going to miss her terribly, so had taken some pictures of Jemma. Mostly, it was her poking around the Bus, but he had a few of her with the others, and even a few with him and her.
That night, after tucking Jemma into bed like always, Leo was sitting in his bunk, looking through the pictures with a sad smile on his face. He was thinking about how Simmons would have loved Jemma; and wondered what it would be like if Simmons were still there with them. "You would love her," he whispered softly, glancing over to a picture of the love of his life on the self by his bed.
A knock on the door startled him, but Leo allowed them to enter. It was Coulson, and his heart sunk immediately; he knew it was about Jemma. "So, did you find a place for her to go too?" Leo asked, his voice choked.
Coulson smiled, but it wasn't sad. It seemed cheerful, which puzzled Leo. "Yes, but we have to make sure they want to adopt her."
"Adopt her?" Leo asked, now even more so puzzled. "Why would someone adopt a child they haven't even met?"
"Well, they already have met her," Coulson replied, and it slowly started dawning on Leo by what he meant. "They seem to have a strong bond, so I think things could work out."
"Do you mean it?" Leo cried, thrilled. Coulson nodded, and the biggest grin grew on Leo's face, and it pleased Coulson to see that smile once again after three years of the engineer sulking. "Thank you, sir!" Coulson just chuckled and left the bunk, leaving Leo going through his thoughts. The engineer was ecstatic to adopt Jemma, since the two had grown so close, and he knew it would be he really would be her father. He knew he wasn't her biological father, but he would still be a father figure to her. Jemma was his little dove, not matter what.
After three years of hurt, Leo Fitz was finally whole once more.