Being so close to Ryuuhou now was a strange sensation of intertwined emotions of positivism and loathing. He was so overwhelmed with the sheer joy of getting him within his clutches, it would be over soon. He would no longer have to cradle himself those nights the beast came back to him with lucid dreams of tearing off Ryuuhou's limbs, one, by, one. Breaking his bones until that pitifully self-indulgent sadistic laughter of his turned to high pitched screams of agony. At the very thought of it he snarled out a howling chuckle, or crackle, or was it just a snarl? It felt like he had no control over what came out of his mouth now. He was.. Dribbling? He spat out at Ryuuhou to rid himself of it but the saliva was quickly replaced with more drool.
He had a gnawing feeling of something behind him, creeping up on him, tingling on his skin and.. He was used to this feeling. It arrived every time he remembered him. Ryuuhou. What Ryuuhou did. What… Koujaku did. It was him. He reached back and scratched at his back and neck to rid himself of that arid feeling of someone, something else, luring over his back. It pricked and pinged like it had when he first got that tattoo. It was pulsing, like that feeling of a slight head ache when you get out of a hot bath. But it was on his skin, the surface and beyond felt - odd. He was twitching with fury and fear and detest and guilt and so many emotions he couldn't explain as his heart felt covered in spines that were pricking him from the inside, while his skin was fighting to crawl off his bones and run away on it's own volition. when he reached back the hand he had been scathing with he felt a soft wetness on his back, and looked to his hands - they were sharp and there was blood.
He didn't know what was happening - no… he did? he'd felt this before… was this.. Dejavu? No.. something wasn't right this was not alright. Something was off. His eyes felt like static and all he knew was it must have been Ryuuhou."Rhhyyyy hhhhouuuooieee…... .…. ." He let out a slobbering growl. He was smiling. He was smiling. He felt like ash was falling out of his mouth. How dare he smile. I am surviving. I am beating you, stop smiling. Something more was off. He felt his thighs were melting. Something was hot down there. He stared, his eyes felt like they were missiles. He wanted to stop him from smiling. And relieve that heat, it was now tingling in his throat and fingers. That's what that thing dripping from his fingers had to be.. Lava. And the ash in his throat was a cause of a fire on his tongue.
He lunched his clawed fingers into Ryuuhou's grin, and forced what he could past the teeth, prying it oven easily and, while his fingers were there, he just thrust his face onto his. Stop smiling stop smiling stop smiling stop smiling. The ash was pouring out into Ryuuhou's mouth. Stop smiling. He forced his tongue in further and started trying to unload the liquid ash of his mouth into Ryuuhou, he'd drown him with saliva if he had to. He was dribbling so much. He spat and bobbed his head further in, like he was thrusting or trying to headbutt him. But he wasn't. He just wanted to get rid of that ash. Nothing was working though. His lips felt numb. He used his tongue to scout his mouth until he could find the tongue, he sucked on ti and spat, and drooled, and he just needed that tongue, he'd take it, if he could use it to get rid of that flame- Help me get rid of it. Nothing made sense to me anymore. All that mattered was that wet dripping he found in this stranger's mouth.