S01E01- Domestic Pilot

Lassie's old partner: You here to scope out the new meter maids?

Shawn: Nope, I'm here to see you.

Old Partner: Not interested.

Shawn: I know, you have someone special. He's married and/or separated, not to mention potentially gay or bi, haven't decided yet. Haven't decided if I'm interested either.

Lassie leans against the car after Shawn solves the case.

Lassie: Seriously, how?

Shawn: takes a moment to think I wish I knew.

Lassie nods and walks off. Shawn watches him leave and thinks, "That's a fine ass. And he smelled nice." Gus comes over to take Lassie's place next to Shawn. Shawn glances at Gus. He looks back at the direction Lassie walked of in. He thinks to himself, "A fine ass indeed."

S01E05- 9 Lives

Lassie: What in the name of sweet justice are you two doing in my crime scene?

Shawn: Your crime scene? That's funny. I didn't see your name on it anywhere. Although to be quite frank, I wanted to see your beautiful blue eyes.

While confronting the murderer, after getting the guy to point his gun at Gus, himself, Shawn then mentions Lassie...

Shawn: Here's the best part. It doesn't even matter what I think, because you have a problem that's a lot bigger than me. Points at Lassie. This guy. The man with his gun trained on you is not only a fine human being, with a strong Irish hairline, not to mention his fine ass, he is an exemplary public servant and arguably the finest detective mind in the lower western Santa Barbara County area over the age of 35. And right now, while I'm speaking, he is devising a swift and stealth like tactic that is going to disarm you and blow your mind!

S01E06- Weekend Warriors

Shawn: Fine. I'll get you a name. Turns to walk out and gestures to Lassie. And I'll find you a woman, or a man.

S01E07- Who Ya Gonna Call?

Shawn and Gus pull up in front of Lassie and Jules.

Shawn: Good morning Detectives, collecting donations for the Policemen's Ball?

Lassie: We don't have balls.

Shawn: Aw, that's a shame, I might of asked you to go with me.

Shawn gets up and walks around the bar.

Shawn: Lassie?

Lassie: Spencer. Why am I surprised?

Shawn: Why are you wasted?

Lassie: Hey, do you like Scotch? Miss! Can I get two more of these, please? Thank you. Listen, there is something I have got to get off my chest.

Shawn: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.

Lassie: You *pauses* astound me.

Shawn: Come again?

Lassie: It's beyond astounding. It is some of the most impressive reasoning I've ever seen.

Shawn: Is there a punch line coming? Let's get to it.

Lassie: I don't know how you do it. I mean, it's not psychic-ness, we both know that's a crock of crap. But you, sir, are unstoppable, guaranteed arrest, which I find... Hot. You're hot.

Shawn: What's happening here?

Lassie: Can I tell you a secret?

Shawn: I wouldn't recommend it, no.

Lassie: Listen, you know how everyone thinks my wife and I have been separated for nine months?

Shawn: Yes.

Lassie: Two years. Two years tonight. And I'm the one who keeps trying to fix the thing. I mean... *starts to fall off his chair, Shawn grabs him*

Shawn: Jeez.

Lassie: ...counseling, therapy, acupuncture, you name it. I have tried to try to try it.

Shawn: Well, I'm gonna let you go. Don't drive.

Lassie: You know, I used to be a good cop. Seriously. Stunning arrest record. It was one of the best in the department. I caught the Back Bay killer.

Shawn: Yes, you did. I remember it well.

Lassie: Although I had a tip.

Shawn: The blue sedan.

Lassie: Yeah. *realizes it was Shawn who tipped him* That was you?

Shawn: It might have been.

Lassie: See what I mean? You and I... We've been working together for a while then... That's... That's...

Shawn: Come on, you still had to put it all together, right?

Lassie: Look, Spencer, the blue sedan was the key to the whole thing. It was the murderer's car. You noticed it. I didn't.

Shawn: Yeah, but who had to run the plates? And all those numbers and letters could have confused many a cop.

Lassie: Spencer, stop, okay? I am done. Here, I want you to have these. *reaches for his handcuffs* I don't need them. I am over. *puts cuffs on the table*

Shawn: All right, just stop this. This is nonsense. You're not over. Look, you're a striking man with strong gorgeous features, eyes that women, and men, want to do cannonballs into. You have great posture and penmanship the likes I've never seen, which is hot.

Lassie: No, I have officially hit rock bottom. A month ago, I got this case right? A healthy 42-year-old astronomer dies. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, spends all day in an ergonomically-designed chair, charting the night sky. Natural causes, that's what the Coroner comes back with. Does a full autopsy. No red flags. Nothing. I know he was murdered. I just can't...

Shawn: What? What? What is this?

Lassie: ...prove it! The department won't even let me pursue it.

Shawn: Come on, you'll figure it out.

Lassie: No, I won't. I can't. And I've accepted that.

Shawn: Alright, look, Lassie... *struggles* Carlton, I believe in you. I really do. You just gotta trust your instincts. (girl comes over screaming that she just got engaged.) (Thud) *Shawn turns around.* Stick with it, Lassie. You... *sees Lassie passed out on the floor* You can solve this thing. You're halfway there already.

Lassie comes in for work the day after he solved the case. Everyone is congratulating him. He grabs Shawn.

Lassie: Spencer, a moment of your precious time.

They go into the Chief's office.

Shawn: Are you sure we should be in here?

Lassie: That night in the bar, I mentioned my wife, didn't I?

Shawn: Yes.

Lassie: Oh, crap. What did I say, exactly?

Shawn: That she wants you back.

Lassie: No, no, I don't think I said that.

Shawn: Maybe I sensed that.

Lassie: You didn't sense it either, but thanks for trying to help. To tell you the truth, I think I got some help on this case.

Shawn: Really?

Lassie: Yeah.

Shawn: Well, hey, man, we all get help sometimes, right? It's the truly great ones that know how to accept it. And if I may add on more thing, Detective, you astound me.

Lassie: Second half to that joke?

Shawn: No.

Lassie: No? *Jules comes in*

Jules: The press is asking for you outside.

Lassie: Tell them I will be right there. *Jules leaves*

Lassie: To tell you the truth, Spencer, sometimes I astound myself. *points to tie* How's the knot?

Shawn: Tight, and sexy.

Lassie: *gives a thumbs up* Great. *leaves*

Shawn: (shouts after him) Hey! You look hot by the way!

S01E11- He loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead!

Lassie gets handed a case file. He clearly doesn't want it.

Gus: Shawn. Shawn.

Shawn is messing around with the other officers.

Lassie: (calls nicely) Hey, Spencer.

Shawn: Lassie face.

Lassie: Got the perfect case for you guys.

Shawn: I'm sorry. You're saying that you want our help?

Lassie: Yeah.

Shawn: So what's the catch?

Lassie: There's no catch. Just right up your alley. We could really use your insights in this one. The guy's waiting to give you a statement. Interrogation room B. *pats Shawn on the back* Make me proud. *Strodes off.*

Gus: Okay. What does that sound like to you?

Shawn: An opportunity, and that he totally wants me.

Lassie goes over to the table where Shawn, Gus, and Jules are.

Lassie: Okay, I checked out your tread pattern. *Juliet hands him a paper* It's a high performance tire manufactured after 2002. So we're looking for a woman who drives a late model sports car, probably American-made.

Gus: And 5'2" and likes strappy heels.

Shawn: *points at Gus* Check. Question. *points at Lassie* Is that what you're wearing?

Lassie: What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I always wear this.

Shawn: Exactly. Lassie you look like a cop. Though I have to give you some credit, the blue? Brings out your gorgeous blue eyes. Now come on man. *Taps Lassie's jacket a few times.* Is that your holster?

Lassie: Of course it is.

Shawn: You're here to speed date, man, not shoot somebody. You gotta loosen up. Come on, take off the tie.

Lassie: I'm not taking fashion tips from you.

Shawn: You need to show some chest hair. Chicks dig the sternum bush. *Turns to Jules* Jules, back me up in the stern bush.

Jules: I'm going to go see what these women have to say before this thing starts.

Shawn: Bye Jules. All right, come on. Let's go, Simon Cowell. You got the salt and pepper, man. It's nice, and really sexy.

Lassie: I'm not taking off my tie just 'cause you tell me to.

Shawn: Fine. Suit yourself.

S01E12- Cloudy... Chance of Murder

Shawn is at the auction to get his bike back. He just gratefully turned down offers to help get his bike back.

Buzz: Shawn! *fills kick stand to bike*

Shawn: Buzz.

Buzz: I believe this is yours. They just pulled it from the auction.

Gus: Pulled it from the auction. What?

Shawn: I was... I was... I've been practicing my paddle raise. It's a subtle move.

Buzz: Yeah, you got your bike back. It was taken care of internally.

Shawn: What does that mean? "Internally"?

Buzz: I don't know. They just gave me the paperwork. *hands Shawn the paperwork*

*Lassie comes out from the back, scratching his head like he'd done something after glancing at the bike* *stops in front of Shawn and the group like he's been caught, doesn't really show on his face but it's there* *they all look at him*

Lassie: You- you look good on that bike, Spencer... *he flicks his eyes around and blinks* What are you looking at? Go home! *Shawn watches him leave slightly with a confused look on his face*

S01E13- Game, Set... Muuurder?

Jules: Shawn, I can't just give you a case because Gus is out if town this weekend and you're lonely.

Shawn: Fine, maybe together we can figure out how I can be less lonely, hey do you know if Lassie is free?

*Shawn crashes into the door*

Lassie: Spencer, what the hell are you doing?

Shawn: Trying something. I feel conventional vision is weakening my skills.

Jules: Is that my scarf?

Shawn: I... I'm getting serviced. Return service. No, a net. Fishnet? No! I looove somebody. *puts hand on Lassie's head with a flourish* Perhaps in the near but distant future. Now I'm getting Grecian Formula. That's weird. You don't need it Lassie, your hair is beautiful and it's color is ravish worthy. *Lassie moves Shawn's hand roughly, he makes a pained gasp*

Shawn: It's not about what's there, it's about what's missing. Tennis equipment. *makes noises* No, a tennis player is missing. Björn Borg is missing! No. Who's missing?

Chief: Congratulations, Mr. Spencer. You've just joined the case.

Lassie: What?

Chief: We can all pitch in. Deanna Sirtis was supposed to meet her father Leonard at the airport last night.

Jules: They were flying to Tokyo for a tournament but she never showed up. The last time anyone saw her was at tennis practice that morning. *Shawn sees headline, Stalker fan arrested.*

Shawn: *hand to head* Has anyone checked out her stalker?

Jules: Felix Alvarez? We're looking into him, since we know he broke into her house a few months ago.

Chief: But what we need from you now is to psychically locate Deanna while we follow leads using conventional methods.

Shawn: You mean, Lassie and I can work together?

Lassie: *displeased with this statement* Yeah, but separate.

Shawn: Should we synchronize our watches?

Lassie: You're not wearing a watch.

Shawn: That's a good point. Chief, I'd like to put in a requisition order for a new watch. Lassie, can you sign for that?

Chief: Alright, that's enough. Just... Now, let's go do your jobs. All of you. *Jules leaves first.* *Shawn and Lassie try to leave at the same time, Shawn gets slammed into the door by Lassie*

Shawn: Hey! *The two stand in the door way and stare at each other*

Shawn: You're eyes are still beautiful.

Lassie: What? *Shawn slips out before Lassie* *Lassie turns around to the Chief exasperated already*

Lassie: Thank you. *Chief smiles, clearly amused*

Lassie has coffee. He's taking on the phone.

Lassie: All right. Get her down to the station and take her statement. Nail down the last time she saw Deanna. I'm on my way now. *Shawn and Gus walks up behind him and he stops*

Shawn: I am sensing you're drinking a nonfat vanilla, half caf with lots of whipped cream but without your usual pink straw.

Lassie: What are you two stalking me now? Or did you come to tell me where the missing girl is?

Shawn: No. *Lassie turns around to keep walking* But I did divine that Deanna has a secret boyfriend, wish I had one, a boyfriend that is not necessarily a secret one but a boyfriend, anyway, sounds like a lead to me.

Lassie: Yeah, we're looking in to all her relationships. But, you see, it's my job to investigate people with things like, you know, motive, means and opportunity. Stop following me. *Shawn and Gus follow him, Shawn obviously makes noise*

Lassie: What did I say?

Shawn: Look man, I've been meaning to have the same conversation with you about leading me. To be honest, I'm sick of it. We either walk side by side, or not at all, I don't care how beautiful your eyes are or how gorgeous your lean body is, we are equals.

S01E15- Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast

Shawn runs his finger down the ax blade. Cuts his finger on the blade.

Shawn: Ow! *sticks finger in his mouth*

Lassie: Give me that! *takes ax from Shawn*

Shawn: *looks at finger then at Lassie* Kiss it and make it better?