Zaiaku
(Sin)
by Amaya Takeshi
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight.
After that first taste of her blood, that blissful moment of surrender when he laid down the willpower that had held his vampiric instincts at bay for the past four years, his already deep disgust for his new "race" became a venomous loathing of himself. Every time his thoughts strayed back to feeding that desire, he would see the eyes of his friend opened wide in shock; the eyes of his foster-sister shining with unshed tears of betrayal; the eyes of the one person in the entire world who meant the most to him wild with unspoken pain and fear. Of him. And he vowed that never again would he drink of her to sate his own sinful thirst...
"Where could he have gone to?" Yuuki wondered as she walked the halls, searching for Zero. They were supposed to patrol the grounds together and control the gathering crowd, since dusk was falling, and the class change would happen soon.
Every time she thought about him, she would see that scene replay itself in her mind's eye. It had been a week since he had bitten her and drank her blood, and though at the time she had been caught off guard, shocked, and – yes – scared, she had since thought about her feelings regarding the matter. In the end, she had come to the conclusion that Zero did not choose to want blood, and so he was not to blame. And no matter how she looked at it, Zero was Zero, so he was not to be feared. She decided that she would supply him with all the blood he needed, because he was Zero, and Zero was important to her.
But he had never attempted, or even mentioned, anything like that again. Even when they were alone.
She arrived at the door to the Chairman's private bathroom. They would use it most of the time, since the dorm bathrooms are usually busy, so she decided to check inside.
Zero was there, but it was a horrible sight.
He was sitting slumped against the far wall, with his head bent down dejectedly and his arms drawn up against his chest, his white button-down shirt stained with blood.
"Zero!" cried Yuuki as she began to run to him. Was he in pain? Had he gotten in a fight with the Night Class? Was he crying?
Zero slowly lifted his head at the sound of his name. But the odd thing was that his arms moved up with his head, as if they were connected or some... thing...
Yuuki froze in the middle of the room. They were indeed connected. More specifically, Zero's fangs were embedded in his own wrists, and he was drinking. She blanched at the sight before her. She had never seen eyes like those before — eyes that glowed crimson with the metallic hue of blood, a color that signified that the bearer was in a state of absolute bloodlust.
And in a split-second she knew. He had denied himself of any blood for the past seven days, starving himself purposefully and willingly rather than subjecting her to that ordeal again. He had held on for as long as he could, until the craving became so overpowering that he had no choice but to give in, to steal into the bathroom, where the blood would be easy to wash away, and rip open his own wrists. Slashing skin again with his razor-sharp fangs felt good. Filling his mouth again with the hot, coppery liquid of life felt good. But the blood that he swallowed was his own, so it did not do anything to appease his thirst. All it did was fuel his need, and drive him mad. And so Zero sat there and drank and drank and drank, and bit and bit and bit.
Until she had interrupted his private anguish. She. The one whom he had been dreaming of tasting again.
With a feral roar he leapt to his feet and lunged at her, his long fangs clearly exposed by the snarl that twisted his blood-smeared face.
Yuuki's eyes widened in fear. This was not Zero. But before she could scream he had reached her and covered her mouth with one large hand. The other hand latched onto her forearm in a vice-like grip, pulled her around, and slammed her forcefully against the tiled wall.
The impact to the back of her head made her vision go dark for a few moments, as colorful stars flitted and burst across the field of nothingness. The hands on her mouth and wrist were slippery with blood, the heady smell of which quickly overwhelmed her and sent her remaining senses reeling. Instinctively, she brought her free hand to the arm that pressed against her face, trying to steady herself while prying off her attacker at the same time.
And then suddenly everything was cleared up by a stab of burning pain in the side of her neck. Her high-pitched scream was muffled by his hand. Zero had bitten her again, but this time, driven by his madness, he was not content to just break the skin and let the blood flow. He bit down harder and harder even as he gulped down the sweet blood that flooded his mouth, as if he were trying to rip her throat out. Even his duller bottom teeth had come into play, pressing into the front of her throat hard enough to break the skin there too.
It was just like a tiger making a kill.
Zero. Zero. She wanted to call out to him. But that hand over her mouth prevented her voice from reaching him, and it was this frustration that caused the tears to stream down her cheeks. It wasn't the pain; the pain she had taken before, and could take again, for his sake.
But he was drinking her blood so vigorously that she soon began to feel faint. As she felt her strength leave her, she realized that she did not feel angry at Zero for doing this, only sadness that he should have to wage such a terrible battle with himself for the rest of his life, and she wanted to tell him this before she died.
Weakly, she removed her trembling hand from his arm and used it to cup his face. Zero's crimson eyes flew open at the touch, but he did not slow his drinking. Summoning the last of her strength, she stroked his face gently, once, twice, three times. It's ok. It's all right. Don't worry.
His drinking began to slow.
As her vision went black and she slipped into unconsciousness, she pressed a soft kiss against the palm of his hand. I forgive you.
His drinking stopped and he blinked, the eerie red glow of his irises dispelling on its own. He had finally had enough, and the satiated beast within him had finally lain down to sleep. In control of himself again, he looked, puzzled, down at the body in his arms.
And immediately, realization hit.