For my awesome beta.
Long long time ago, when people parted for Romans and barbarians, a young copywriter Julius (oh, come on: alea iacta est, veni, vidi, vici? So copywriter-fu) came to an oracle.
"Tell me, if I'll be famous"
"Of course"
"Really?! Are you sure?"
"Sure? Who am I to be sure? An oracle?
"Yes, you are"
"Really? People from HR didn't tell me. I should get a raise…"
But this has nothing to do with our story which begins two thousands years later on the other side of the globe when one man said once "Saving people, hunting things"
"No way you're riding my car like that"
"Like what, Dean?"
"All in mud"
"Dude, it's your fault I'm in the mud! It was you who pushed me into the river"
"Because the ghost wanted to bite your ass"
"Since when you're so worried about the bitemarks on my ass?"
"Oh, Sammy, dirty! I'm so proud of you, but still you're not riding my car."
"I don't understand it. You gave away your soul to bring me back from death but you won't let me ride your car when I'm covered in mud?
"Yeah, exactly"
"So what do you want me to do? Take a walk?"
"No, Sam. Take off your clothes"
"Dean… I can't"
"Why?"
"Because… um…"
"What?!"
"Do you remember when was the last time we did laundry?"
"Like… Two months ago?"
"Yeah, so it was rather long time ago, and I…"
"WHAT, Sam?"
"I'm not wearing underwear"
"??... Bwahahahahahahahaha!"
"Stop it, Dean! It's not funny!"
"hahahayeshaitishahahaha"
"Seriously, Dean, stop laughing"
"OK, OK. Sam, but still your clothes are not riding my car."
"Do you really want me in your car without clothes? Naked? Sitting on your leather seat?"
"…."
"Dean?"
"Dude! Gross! OK, that's it, you're riding in the trunk"
"What? No! And Dean? Why are you not whining about lack of clean underwear?"
"It's simple. I wear yours."
"…"
"Ok, get in the trunk. Sam? Sam?! Stoooooo…"
10 minutes later in the running Impala.
"You pushed me into the river, Sam"
"You stole my underwear, Dean"
"But you pushed me into the river!"
"And now we both are covered in mud and both can ride your car. So we're equal"
"No, we aren't. I still am the only one who has underwear"
And if Dean had gone and asked an oracle what Sam would have done to get back his underwear, maybe the following blood frozen events had never happened. But he wasn't as precautionary as Julius…
No wait, Julius ended badly. So maybe the following events were inevitable?
But these are for another story…
TBnotC?