Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended; I do not own Digimon.
Human
Do you know those days where everything you do ends in utter disaster? Those times where your life just seems to have collapsed and you lack the courage to stand up again and fight; where you consider yourself unfit to carry on, and don't give a damn about what comes next? The moments in life so dreaded, we wish they never came. Or if they have already, have been safely locked away in a secret drawer in the furthest corners of our minds, imperceptible in case someone might seek them out. Times of fear, times of sorrow; of hurt and of hopelessness. We never want to admit their existence, claiming them to be a symbol of weakness, but sometimes there is no way around them.
These despondent moments are cunning enemies and seem to find your weakest moments to strike so easy, it must be one of their specialties. However, they cannot be ignored or shoved away to rot for all eternity in the deepest darkness of people's hearts. They shouldn't, for they are a part of life as much as the happy times; times of laughter and joy.
Tears have a reason to be shed. And they are as valuable as laughter, if not more; special because they rarely show themselves. So never think you have to forget about them. It's okay to cry; it's what makes us human after all.
Denial is never a good thing; it deprives us from seeing what's right in front of us, holds back the truth and cannot allow any of us to learn from our mistakes as long as it is in place. We all smile and bellow a laugh to prevent others from seeing the reality hiding behind the façade, though. We want to be strong, it's a fact of life. Darwin presented it as the theory of evolution in the context of nature's laws, attributing it to our ancestors millions of years ago, but now still, these hierarchic feelings and hunter's instincts prove to be present. People crave strength and will not allow others to take notice of their breakdowns, be they small or a bit more serious. It is seen as too private to share with anyone, because deep down, we're all cowards when it comes to personal darkness, and a tendency to hide something that hideous is second nature.
It is of course a good possibility that some were able to see through these barriers without you being aware of this beforehand. And that they let you live in that illusion, because everyone has experienced something alike in their own lives, and know that sometimes it is best not to pry and let things seem unperceived. They will soon pass anyway. Or perhaps that is the reality we wish to see.
But there are also worse scenarios where these catastrophic moments strike time and time again, demolishing your carefully built walls of resistance along with your mask of fake happiness bit by bit, disintegrating them slowly but surely until the last of it is destroyed and you surpass the point of caring about them. Of caring about anything.
Nevertheless, as opposed to what one might think, these protecting mechanisms are not obliterated in one blow. Fear and all other negative sentiments don't work like that. They show more of a resemblance to acidic substances: transparent and unknown to be lethal at first, but surprising their applicants later on in leaving holes, burning stains and blisters in their wake. These are small when we look at them separately but once we take a step back, our walls seem more like Swiss cheese. And they'll crumble as easily as burnt toast when that one straw breaks the camel's back, resulting in complete chaos.
But we shouldn't let it get to our hearts. Well, we should, but not to the point of depression and self-wallowing in misery. Our will to overcome this should be greater than our second nature to hide it from plain sight; that is what I've learnt from my own experiences.
On the long term, life teaches us that no matter how hard it often seems, we actually can pull through. On a shorter term, though, this hardly seems achievable. Because we lie.
We lie to complete strangers, to the ones closest to our hearts and to our enemies. But most of all, we lie to ourselves, because we unconsciously don't want to face the truth. We unwittingly create the illusion that we'll suffer endlessly, that we'll never recover from a blow so hard it will leave a metaphorical crack in our chests permanently. And we try our hardest to let this go unnoticed by others.
For some sick nonsensical purpose, we feel the need to torture ourselves in thinking that being left alone to deal with the mess we made/are in will eventually bring about redemption. It does not. And as we spiral down to the infinity of melancholy, we find ourselves confronted with something that contradicts that impression. A friend, someone who reaches out and doesn't ignore the obvious symptoms of brokenness. For as much as we like to pretend that everything is all right and shy away from admitting the opposite, we require someone who lends an ear. Someone who we must open up to in order to initiate the process of recovery; someone who helps carry the load.
And then we are set free. Free, even though the way that relief of misery was reached was everything we never wanted to do and be. But we recognise that it was worth it in the end, that we were wrong. It is not an act of bravery to appear strong in the face of reality and bottle up every negative emotion, because eventually, that bottle will burst and we'll be even more damaged. It takes true courage to call for help and entrust someone with these dark thoughts, knowing that there is always a chance that that confidant can take up and leave in the blink of an eye, and continue to trust him. That person becomes your anchor; your shoulder to cry on and your companion to have fun with. And you realise that you're only human.
– Takeru Takaishi
A/N: This was something I wrote up yesterday, not thinking about one character in particular in fact; but I decided that TK's character and personality fit the most, what with the depressive thoughts that started forming when Angemon died and never really went away I think. Oh, and the fact that he's "human" whereas he is practically always portrayed as some sort of angel. So I'm sorry if it seems a little too OOC.
This was actually inspired by 'The Little Mermaid', in combination with the depressive song 'Everybody Hurts' and some Coldplay. And just to make things clear, I am actually a very happy person most of the time :p Just not when I write, it seems.
But I'm not going to make this author's note too long, and I'll let you review now :p Wait, let me rephrase that: PLEASE review? It is common knowledge that they are love after all ^^
-x-