A/N: Crappiest time to make a comeback, but I desperately need a fluffy fic. This is more hurt/comfort but a fluffy fic will be here soon.
Angsty at first.
An AUish take on 2x17 2x18 Tick...Tick...Tick... Boom
The scream lodges in her throat as it threatens to escape. She manages to hold it in, an uncomfortable lump that feels like it's beating down on her larynx, makes it impossible to breathe.
But she is breathing, or struggling for breath more like it.
She gasps at the cold, air-conditioned oxygen that circulates around the loft, around the bed, around her. It sends a chill through her body, licks away the flames and turns her nerves into ice. The ice manages to stay away from her torso and limbs that are tangled up in the sheets. She struggles for breath as she twists herself out of the sweat-soaked sheets, her body over-heating and freezing at the same time.
She wonders if the tears that are trailing down her cheeks are going to melt into her skin or freeze into ice drops.
Kate shoots up from the bed, her body curling in on itself as a hand comes up to her chest. She presses it hard against her sternum, willing the blooming panic to disappear. She throws her legs over the edge of the bed and stands, waiting until her shaky legs become stable before she continues.
The heated floors are welcomed on her bare feet, a contrast to mere hours ago where she couldn't stand to be near anything that even remotely warm. She had spent almost an hour in the shower, trying to scrub away the flames with the cold water until her lips turned blue. Castle had been upset when he realized that she had almost given herself hypothermia.
Castle.
It sparks something inside her. Her mind manages to forget the replay of her nightmare in favor of images of Castle. The fuzziness in her head clears for a path that leads to the safety she so desperately seeks: somehow that safety is Castle.
Kate steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind her ever so softly. She creeps quietly down the hall, being extra careful when she passes Alexis' door. Even in her panicked form, she manages to tip-toe past.
She makes it to the top of the stairs without any incident and carries on down. She doesn't even know what she's doing. If Castle or Alexis did wake up and see her there, she could easily play it off that she was getting water. Yes, water was exactly what she needed to squash down the panic in her chest, the tears clogged in her throat.
Castle. Castle. Castle. Castle.
Her feet steer themselves away from the kitchen and towards the open office door.
What are you doing Kate? He's probably sleeping.
Her body doesn't listen to the arguments that her mind shouts, instead they urge her on, take her closer until she's gasping on a breath and wiping away a tear. She creeps into the office, expects to just grab one of his own works and dash back to her room, grabbing a glass of water on the way. She doesn't expect to see him slumped over his desk, head on his folded arms and eyes closed.
She freezes, starts to backtrack as her eyes go wide. She curses the hiccup that escapes and seemingly echoes around the loft.
Castle stirs to life only a moment after, lifting his head off the desk where a line from his dress shirt is imprinted into his cheek.
"Wha-Kate?"
He blinks a few times to make sure that he's not dreaming or hallucinating. He jumps out of the chair when he realizes it's not a dream. Kate Beckett is standing at the door to his office in the middle of the night.
"Are you okay Kate?"
She hesitates in her answer. Eyes drifting down to the hardwood floors.
"I was just...I just came down to grab some water," she throws out, straightening her shoulders. She pieces her detective mask back on, blanking her features over.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asks tentatively, taking a step towards her. She shrugs, avoiding eye contact. "Bad dream?"
She nods in reply.
Castle's face drops, worry taking over his features. He starts towards her and doesn't stop until his hand is brushing against her arm.
"Want to talk about it?"
Kate shakes her head, forcing out a weak smile.
"I'm fine Castle, just go back to sleep or writing," she replies, taking her arm back from him.
He catches her arm when she turns to escape.
"You almost died Kate. I almost lost you. Just talk to me, okay?" He whispers.
Oh. It was crossing their carefully drawn out line between partners and something more now. They flirted and offered teasing remarks and banter. They didn't do the whole deep, meaningful talks.
"You died," Kate chokes out, turning to him. She crumbles into his chest, gripping at his shirt with closed fists. Her nose ends up nudging against the crook of his neck and she all but melts into the strong arms that wrap around her.
"I'm right here Kate," he breaths into her hair, holding her tighter with every shuddering breathe she takes.
"No," she gasps, shaking her head. "It was your loft that he targeted and I-I was too late." She explains.
"Breathe, Kate. I'm here, just breathe."
He can feel her trying to calm her breathing. Her Kate Beckett determination shining through.
"I was at the precinct," she starts after a few minutes, her voice wavering. "Espo, Ryan and I...we were trying to make sense of the rest of the files." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "Ryan offered to make coffee and tried to work out your coffee machine. He burnt his hand and Espo was teasing him, saying that he could only use his left hand now."
She puffs a laugh against his chest and it turns the edges of his lips up, makes him hold her that much tighter.
"It sparked something and we suddenly knew that the case wasn't over. We realized that you were in danger and we were on our way to the loft. It exploded when we got out of the cars." She stopped as small sobs tremored through her body. "The whole place was up in flames and they wouldn't let me go in."
Kate swipes quickly at her eyes as Castle pulled away. He probably thought she was stupid for being so upset about a dream and was on his way out. Instead he surprised her. He lifted her chin, staring into her eyes.
"It was a dream Kate. I'm still here and so are you, thank god," he had whispered the last part, bringing his thumbs up to swipe away her tears. His hands fall from her face and down to her arms. He tugs slightly and starts to lead her into his room.
"Castle?" Kate questions on a whisper.
He looks back towards her as they approach the bed, his face full of compassion and...something else, something more.
"My bed is ten times more comfortable than the one in the guest room," he informs, turning down the covers. "These past few days have been incredibly hard for you and you need the rest more than me." He motions for her to get in. She surprises herself and slides in without a fight, her body too tired to protest.
"What about you?"
"I'll be on the couch," Castle answers, jabbing his thumb behind him. "If you need anything, just shout okay?"
Sweet, sweet man.
"Castle, I'm not kicking you out of your own bed," Kate protests weakly. He wasn't kidding when he said that his bed was comfortable. She practically sunk into it.
"I offered, it's perfectly fine okay? You need it more than me," he reassured her.
"Castle, can you just..." she gulped down her answer before shaking her worries away. "Stay with me? Tonight. We're both adults and nothing has to happen. I think we both need this at the moment."
Castle threw her an apprehensive look before sliding under the covers.
Kate shifted closer, her head falling into the crook of his neck.
"Thanks Castle," Kate yawned, small puffs of her breath hitting his skin.
"Always, Kate. Always."
