OK. This is my very first post. Please feel free to criticize. I'll appreciate all the feedback. Oh, almost forgot! Disclaimer: I don't own The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Jonathan Stroud does …

I felt that familiar sticky feeling in my stomach (or at least the place where my stomach would have been). No! Why did this have to happen now? I was just starting to relax. Just leave me in peace, for heaven's sake!

Why do humans have so many issues? Why do we have to be the ones to solve them? *1

I felt the warmth of the magic's static tentacles as they coiled around me, like a sadistic snake. I fought back but it was to no avail. The wrapping tentacles flexed, as if jesting with me; playing with my emotions. I gave up resisting. What was the point? I was at mercy to the summoning.

Life can be very frustrating (especially when it lasts for thousands of years)!

The tugging feeling came next; the sensation that something inside of me was being jerked from side to side. I used to feel nauseous, but now, I'm used to it. It's too bad; I used to enjoy chucking up on my masters. Sometimes, they would step out of their precious chalk pentacles. That was good, after emptying my stomach all over them; I had to have something to fill it back up.

And then I was gone, disappeared, poof.

I decided to take the form of a sleek, snow-white cat. Why? Well, because I felt like it. Cats are nice… *2

Once I appeared in the circumspectly drawn chalk circle, I sat innocently, wagged my tail and looked up at my new master with wide, eyes. I've heard that some animals can easily influence humans. All they have to do is look cute. It's simple really. After doing this, the naive humans adopt them as "pets". What does this mean for the animals? Free food. Lots of it…

Standing before me was a tall man in long, dark robes that cascaded to the floor. His hair was jet-black, ruffled and thick. His eyes were a piercing emerald green. He stood with his chin slightly raised upwards. Yuhp, just another puffed-up magician…

This was the time when I had to recite my well-rehearsed speech. I tried to muster as much enthusiasm as I could before starting. It wasn't very much, I can tell you that. I opened my cat mouth and, after meowing a greeting, I began:

"I am Spelevis! I am a Djinni born of fire. I am the Builder and Destroyer of the Great City of Maraveil in Arabia; I am the Demolisher of the Egyptian rule. I am the Spy, Assassin and Traitor to Justinian, the Great Ruler of the Byzantine Empire. I am an Arsonist, Healer and Murderer. I, djinni born of fire, am at your service." *3

I bowed respectfully to the magician, feeling like an absolute fool. To top it all off, I felt an itch just far enough behind my ears so that I couldn't reach it. Fleas! I realized that I really needed a new job. Something that doesn't involve me bowing like a slave to everyone that summons me. I've always wanted to drive an ice-cream truck. The music can be quite soothing. And ice-cream truck drivers don't get fleas, well, at least most of them don't.

"Maraveil?" said the Magician, "I've never heard of that city before."

"Exactly. Now what is your charge, O powerful Enchanter?" I was really sucking-up now. Maybe if I did I could just get everything over with...

Who was I kidding? Summoning a mid-level djinni like me meant that the magician had quite a few plans in mind. If it were something simpler, he would have summoned one of those ridiculous imps or foliots. They don't have any standards.

The room I was in was very ordinary. When I say "ordinary" I imply ordinary for a magician.

Firstly, it was bleak. The air was stale and musty. The room had an ancient feel to it. *4 I glanced around the pentacle, taking everything in. Stacked on shelves were thousands of vials containing substances of every colour you could imagine. A few of them contained eyeballs in them. Some were filled with hair. One was even labeled "Salamander droppings". Yuck!

It reminded me of those ancient kitchens back in Egypt. That was before I burned them all down, though.

The magician opened his mouth to speak again. Needless to say, I was simply overjoyed. *5

"I, Clark Bell, charge you with the task," he proclaimed, "of destroying the djinni, born of fire, Bartimaeus!"

Oh no, this wasn't going to end well...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*1 I'll tell you why: because all humans are helpless fools…

*2 Please don't look at me like that…

*3 Quite impressive, no? No need for applause, but thank you!

*4 I don't mean this in a positive way. Maybe the magician summoned me for decorating tips? He certainly needed them.

*5 That was sarcasm there, just incase you didn't catch on…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------