Wo! MEC is back! This time with a friend!
This story was role played out with The Smallest Invader and we decided we liked it so much we'd let you all enjoy our craziness too.
Disclaimer: Before I forget I do not own Invader Zim, nor will I ever! Which is sad...
Warnings: ZaDR, um... ZaDR... no i think that's about it. If a warning is needed in the future you can finid it about the chapter.
A/N: School is going for me and will be starting for TSI soon so if we are a little late in updateing... blame her. No I kid, blame the public educational system!
Zim's breathing was heavy and his irken heart was beating loudly in his head. That Dib and his STOOpid para-whatever it was. It was getting increasingly hard, since Dib started becoming famous and getting funding from various TV channels and restaurants, to get away from the human with out some kind of big injury and this time was no exception.
He looked at the Dib-human, a small sense of victory creeping through him at the large scratches on his face, left by Zim's claws before it was quickly drowned out literally when it started to rain.
Dib grinned cheekily at Zim. A large stun-gun was re-charging in his hand. He pulled in closer to the Irken. "It hurts, doesn't it, Zim? The rain? Eating at your flesh like acid splashed in your eyes..." He continued walking closer to Zim, confident in his victory this time, and raising the gun to point at him. "One shot from this and you'll be immobile for at least thirty minutes thanks to those beautiful flesh wounds caused by the rain."
Zim's antennae perked up in alarm, but he held his ground, three of his mechanical spider legs still functional, should he need them. His teeth were clenched tight as he tried not to make a sound as the burning liquid fell onto his skin, making it impossible for him to spit out the come back he so wanted to.
The gun beeped three times. "Your time is up, Zim." The gun fired.
Zim tried to dodge, could have dodged had it not been for his foot getting caught on his broken spider leg and him practically falling into the blast.
Dib grinned and, not wasting any time gloating to an unconscious alien, snatched up the deflated Irken bridle-style and walked comfortably on towards home.
A short car-ride later, Dib carried the wounded and unmoving Zim up to his room, which already had a few human and stolen Irken technology on hand there. He tossed the wounded on his bed and turned to the equipment on a nearby table.
Zim clenched his eyes tightly as consciousness began to take hold of his mind once more. But he didn't WANT it to. He wanted to stay asleep, knowing that Dib had him now, he had to, and was probably going to do something incredibly horrible and humiliating to him and he REALLY didn't want to be awake for that.
Dib grinned winningly, snatching up some Irken tools from the table and moving over to Zim. He roughly shoved the other's shoulder onto the bed to where he was lying on his stomach. He leaned over, watching the pinned Zim in silent wonder.
Zim groaned, unable to keep himself asleep for any longer as he mumbled, "Get off... Dib... stink."
Dib sat comfortably on the small of Zim's back, taking the Irken tool in his free hand and popping off one of the three red lids on Zim's PAK.
"Not unless you make a deal with me." He began picking at the inside of Zim's PAK, knowing exactly what to do from the hours he spent studying the blueprints.
"Wha-what are you doing?" Zim asked, sounding a little panicked and his eyes went wide. He was starting to feel something like the ghost limb effect, there was no pain having Dib poke around in that essential piece of machinery on his back but he could feel pain anyway. "Stop that!"
A snap sounded, making Zim cringe. There went the three legs! He moved onto another pink lid, popped it open and did the same.
"I can kill you anytime I wish right now. You know that, right, Zim?"
Zim started trying to squirm away but found himself weak from not only the stun-gun and the burns all over his body but also from the panic he was feeling at having Dib at his pak. "S-stop it, leave my pak alone!"
"Here's the deal." -Snap!- "I won't deactivate your PAK- if, and ONLY if you do me this favor for a while. You have to agree to it first, though, before I'll tell you what it is." He snapped the last leg off along with any other weapons inside the pak, feeling proud of himself now.
Zim was shaking. His pride was telling him to tell Dib where to put his deal, his rational mind telling him to just let Dib kill him, after all what Dib had planned couldn't be good for him or the empire, while his fear was telling him he didn't want to die, that at least while he was a live there was still a chance of conquering Earth. Finally his fear won out and he said, "Alright, alright, I'll-I'll do you this 'favor'."
"Wonderful!" Dib sung merrily, pulling over a small device from the table and now installing it into the PAK.
"You see... I don't like you, as I'm sure you know... and you don't like me.. But-- I have this problem. I need you to pretend you're a chick so we can get married. Then after that, I don't really care, once we make a convincing couple that is. In exchange- I won't try to expose you, and you'll get to keep your life." The device was installed successfully. "If you try to back out of this at anytime, or try to even access your PAK without the right code, this bomb I placed in your PAK will kill you." Dib smiled victoriously.
Zim tensed. What the HELL did he just agree to!? "Marriage? Why in the name of Irk would you want to marry me? I'm sure there's some cheap female out there who would pretend to be your wife if you paid them enough!"
"So you disagree? Should I kill you now?" Dib asked, rolling off of the alien's back and onto the bed, looking a bit sad as he thought of all of the women who already wanted to marry him.
Zim's eyes went wide again as he thought. Was being so close to Dib ALL THE TIME going to be worth it? Was living REALLY worth the headaches. Yes, yes it was. He looked down in defeat, shaking his head in response to Dib's questions.
"Good! Now, would you like me to tend to your wounds, dear, so we can go shopping to get you some nice pretty clothes?" Dib grinned, turning his head to view the defeated Irken.
Zim gave Dib a hate filled look and, not trusting himself to say much of anything, and nodded.
Dib smirked at this response. "Good, Zimma, I'll fix you right up." He grinned, pulling himself off the bed once more and going to another table with medical supplies he'd fix himself with after a long fight with Zim. Though, only his face got injured this time. His technology has been getting better and better, so he didn't need to fix that. He went over to Zim and started spraying his rain-wounds with an anti-bacterial spray.
He sprayed the alien's chest, every once in a while dobbing it with a dry cloth to pick up excess spray or blue blood that was still bleeding.
Zim held his shirt up so Dib could get at all the burns on his chest and asked, half angrily and half curiously, "Why do you need to pretend to marry someone anyway? Why can't you just stay 'single'?"
Dib let out a lazy sigh, obviously distressed about the question. "Despite how hard I try, and how famous I become for what I am, Dad won't accept me until I'm studying REAL SCIENCE and settle down with a nice girl." He said bitterly, wiping up some blood on Zim's chest.
"Oh I see now." Zim said in a condescending tone, unable to help himself. "Poor littler Dibbers, neglected as a smeet he longs for the attention he never got. Now as an adult he has the ability to please his father by taking on his legacy and establishing a family to provide for like a REAL man."
Dib glared ferociously at the Irken, grabbing one of his flesh wounds and sticking his nail in there to show HIM who's a real man.
"OW! Shhhh..." Zim hissed, squirming away from the nail. He glared at Dib angrily, asking, "Is that anyway to treat your future wife?"
Dib pulled his nail off and whipped the blue blood he made appear, not looking Zim in the face, because he was still brooding over what he had said.
Zim pouted fiercely. If one could kill by pouting Dib would have been murdered brutally by now and his corpse would be violated, but sadly all Zim could do with his pout is use it to display his feelings for the current situation.
Dib finally looked up glaringly at the pouting Irken.
"What the fuck is YOUR problem?" He finally finished dabbling his wounds and began using another cloth with a strange oily substance, now re-dabbing all of those same wounds with this quick heal oil.
"What's my PROBLEM!?" Zim raged. "My PROBLEM is I'm aching, you knocked me unconscious and put a bomb in my pak, now you're making me act like you're stupid lover as a way to suck up to 'Daddy'!"
Dib's facial gestures didn't change at all.
"Yeah? So? We've been doing these types of things to one another all of our lives. Or… at least my life, anyway. I thought I set the deal up pretty good for you, too. Not exposing you or anything…" He humphed. "I thought it was an okay-deal, and on top of that, I'm not sucking up to my Dad- I'm just letting him know that it's alright- I'm his son."
"The only reason you aren't exposing me is so you can use me in other ways, you humans are all such greedy creatures, and you never do anything for anyone unless it benefits you." Zim scooted back until his pak hit the wall which he slumped against, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Well, what about you? You mean to tell me YOU'RE not greedy?" Dib gave him an unimpressed look, crawling up closer to the alien to finish oiling up his wounds.
Zim did not hinder, but nor did he help Dib in taking care of his wounds, saying, "I have my moments, but on the whole I do nothing that I do not believe will help my Tallests."
"And why do you help your Tallest, exactly?" He put the oil away, pulling out bandages. He pulled up closer to Zim so he could start wrapping it around his stomach, not even realizing that this in itself was just for Zim's benefit.
"Because it is what we are created for, to serve the Tallest, there is no other purpose than what they make for us." Zim said, giving in and holding his shirt up to give Dib more room to work. "That and universal conquest is neat."
"Your Tallest are greedy then." He said calmly, working his way up until it met with Zim's pack, and he stopped the bandage there, backing up and rubbing his shoulder.
Zim crossed his arms back over his chest, pouting once more and looking at the wall to his left. He knew what Dib said was true, but he didn't have to admit to anything.
"There! You're all done being bandaged. Do you need to rest any, 'Hun'?" Dib circulated his arm in the air to knock out the tension.
"Zim needs no rest." Zim said, standing and putting his hands on his hips. "Let's just get this over with before I surrender to the urge to strangle you."
"Yes Ma'am!" Dib smirked again, pulling himself off of the bed as well and walking up to the door, keeping a careful eye on Zim. "Computer, retreat all medical, defensive, and offensive utilities."
The computer sighed. "Fine." And the tables containing the supplies pulled themselves under ground, replacing the floors with empty tables with flower vases on them.
"I hate you." Zim stated, still glaring at Dib.
"Does it look like I care?" Dib smiled, walking onward. "What type of chick-clothes would you like, anyway?"
"I wouldn't." Zim said, following behind Dib, his hands now clenched firmly by his side.
"Better question; what chick clothes am I going to spend my money on for you?" Dib glared back at him.
Zim huffed and crossed his arms before relenting and saying, "I don't want to stray too far from my normal cloths if at all possible."
"Hot topic it is." Dib stated nonchalantly, now stepping down from the stairs.
Zim followed and, once on the first floor, leaned on a wall in an incredibly girly fashion and asked, "Are you going to surprise me or do you want me to come with you, DEAR?"
"Come with." Dib narrowed his eyes at the alien. "I want everybody to see the man who's going to be cross-dressing in the red-handed act of shopping."
Zim narrowed his eyes back before going back up stairs to get his wig which had fallen off then coming back downstairs, still glaring daggers at the human. He felt like a slave, like Dib WAS exposing him and his organs for all of Earth to see.
Dib smiled, opening the door to let Zim out first. "By the way- even if you run away and I choose not to kill you... the device I gave you also works like a shock collar. Just to warn you." He smirked, waiting for his dearest Zimma to leave with him.
Zim growled and stomped out of the door, waiting at the end of the side walk for Dib, not wanting to get shocked for going too far ahead and Dib thinking he was running away.
Dib shut the door and the house automatically locked itself as he left, following up behind Zim. "You know… this could be a learning experience for the both of us." He mumbled, coming up right next to Zim.
"Oh? And how's that?" Zim asked, glaring up at Dib, cursing Dib silently for being so tall.
"M'mmm... this could, and I know, bear with me here, get us to be at peace with each other." He shrugged, looking away.
"Not if you keep pissing me off." Zim mumbled, also looking away.
"I wouldn't have had to if you didn't piss me off first." Dib retorted, arms crossing, walking up to his car.
Zim walked over to the passenger side, replying with, "If you weren't SLAVING me then I wouldn't have any incentive to piss you off."
Dib spat out a laugh, getting into the driver's side. "Yeah right! And what have you been doing this whole time I've known you then?"
"My JOB!" Zim spat back, taking a step away from the car in defiance.
"EXACTLY! Now get in the car!!"
"GO TO HELL!"
"IF I DO, WILL YOU PLEASE KINDLY -JOIN- ME?!"
"Not KINDLY..." Zim said, calming down once he realized he really had nothing to add to that.
Dib gave him a dull expression. "Then please get in?"
Zim gave Dib a defiant stare before sighing in frustration and throwing a smeet-like tantrum. "You infuriate me, Dib-stink."
"I have so many things I want to say to that- but can't find a way to say 'm all at once." Dib let a half smile grace his face, looking in front of him. "I want to hurt you- but not right after I bandaged you up, so won't you PLEASE get in so I don't have to shock you?"
Zim tensed but got into the car, crossing his arms once more and pouting like an angry child.
Dib pulled out and started driving towards the mall where they'd find a nice place Zim wouldn't mind buying girl-clothes from. He stayed in silence, not wanting to force conversation, but feeling awkward through the silence nevertheless.
Zim: MEC
Dib: TSI
Oh the fun we have. More soon! Because of the way this fic is written instead of my usual 'one update for every fve reviews' this will be updated weekly or every other week depending upon how school is going for either of us.