Title: Monster Bar
Author: S J Smith
Rating: Gen
Disclaimer: Don't I wish.
Summary: There's a vampire bar. In Miami. Sure there is.
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When you're an adult, you don't think about the monsters under the bed. There are too many other things you can be afraid of – job loss, foreclosures, you know, the adult monsters. So when someone comes to you saying they need you to get rid of a vampire bar in South Miami, you think, "Oh, this is a joke."
"It's not a joke, Mikey."
"Sam." You stare at him flatly.
Sam has that serious expression on his face. "I talked to a few of my contacts, and there's definitely something hinky going on at Dante's Inferno."
"It's probably a Goth club," Fiona says, spooning up some yogurt.
"I remember something about clubs were people siphon off blood and share it." Fi's yogurt looks good and you get a cup for yourself.
"I don't think it's that kind of club, Mikey." Sam wags a finger at you. "No one shows up until dusk. No one. The bouncer unlocks the door from the inside – there isn't anyone in there before then. No cars pull up from outside, the windows are all blacked out – and it's a warehouse, so that's pretty easy to do – and it's right on the water, so boats can take bodies out and dump them on the open sea."
You stir your blueberry yogurt. "I thought vampires couldn't cross running water."
"Oh, they can, Mikey. If they're grounded by some of their native soil."
Fi sighs. "I can believe you'd know about vampires, Sam."
He grins. "I'm really better with zombies, but the undead are the undead, Fi."
You're still not buying the whole vampires thing, but you'd been asked to close down the bar. "So…we should have a daytime scouting trip."
"Great idea. They can't escape in the Miami sunlight!" Sam's on his feet and heading for the door. "I'll fill squirtguns with holy water, and load up on stakes."
You shout after him, "Can't we just hire Buffy instead?" but it's too late, he's already gone.
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