Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ.

Well, my Gone Fishing series was really popular, and after being favorited many times and getting positive review after positive review, I felt inspired to write this after watching a Youtube video, where Link "goes fishing" in the Goron Mines. Seriously, how does his rod not burn?? It's weird... Anyway, If you want, go watch it on Youtube. Someone commented "If the rod is wooden, then Link is paper!" (and no it wasn't me, I don't have a Youtube account yet).

Ah, the power of RHOS is amazing... the whole Diababa flashback? Made that up as I went. Oh yeah, kudos to Blue (who actually says that? idk...) But still, you've got to admit it takes some skill to do that...

Enough rambling! For this chapter, I bring you the Prequel to the Gone Fishing Series (it actually does take place before any of them): Fishing For Fire!

Fishing For Fire

Link grumbled as he walked into the sweltering Goron Mines, unhappy with this turn of events. He had to go through yet another monster-infested hellhole to get another one of these Fused Shadow thingys that Midna was forcing him to get without telling him anything about what was going on, and here he was sweating his ass off in clothes not made for hot weather.

As he wiped his brow for the twentieth time since entering half a minute before, he sat down, took out his fishing rod, and began fixing bait on the hook.

Midna jumped out of his shadow. "What are you doing?" she asked in a dangerously calm voice.

"Fishing," Link said, unperturbed.

"Trying again?" Midna said, allowing her wicked grin to color her voice.

"Hey, I was actually good before you came along. Maybe you should just go back to wherever you came from so I can fish in peace," Link said, grumbling.

"Somehow, I doubt you were good," Midna said, reclining her shadowy form in the air and yawning. "You explained how fishing works, but you sure as hell didn't demonstrate right. What happened in Diababa's lair again?"

-

Link was yelling, between tossing a boomerang and pulling out bombs, how to catch a fish. Midna, coming from the Twilight Realm, had never seen the practice, and was curious about it.

"So you-" Link dodged one of Diababa's heads, "Bait the hook, and-" he tossed the Gale Boomerang, "toss it into the water-" He slashed at the fallen head while pulling the Fishing Rod out of his pocket, "Like this!"

The Rod landed quite far away in the acid pond, where Diababa had mysteriously vanished.

"Wait... where did that thing go?" Midna asked, confused and the tiniest bit frightened.

"I don't know, and I don't care," Link said, sitting down cross-legged and holding the rod with both hands, watching the bobber and seemingly oblivious to the fact that no fish would be swimming in an acid pond. Midna stood, shadowy and alert, watching both Link and the pond in general. Nothing moved for what seemed like an eternity.

Link suddenly gave a start. "Something's biting!" Link exclaimed, jumping to his feet and tugging on the rod and line for all he was worth. "It's tugging really hard! I'll bet it's really, really big!"

Midna frowned. Comprehension dawned on her as bubbles began appearing where the bobber was floating wildly, and her eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. "Link, let go of that thing NOW!!"

Link turned to her with a confused "huh?", and that was all it took.

Link was suddenly sailing over the pond yelling in shock, and splashed face-first into the acid pond from the power of Diababa's tugging.

Midna winced and turned away, squeezing her eyes shut and saying "Ooh... Ow..." as Link splashed, crashed, and yelled, flying around Diababa's lair from his own fishing rod, which Diababa had cleverly caught.

After what seemed like hours, Link regained an iota of sense and began reeling in the line, so he was closer to Diababa's head. No longer was he flying and hitting the walls or the acid, but the thrashing of the head was that much stronger. However, he managed to grab on to Diababa's head and stick his sword into the giant yellow eye.

The Twilit Parasite roared in agony, and began thrashing with a new intensity. As it opened its mouth to roar, the hook got free, and Link was sent hurtling against the huge doors., where he fell to the ground with a pained, "Oof..."

After a theatrical display of thrashing, stiffening, dying, and exploding, Diababa's Twilit particles came together in the form of a Fused Shadow, which floated ever so gently down to Link.

Midna floated over from the edge of the acid pond and grabbed the thing with her ponytail. "This is it! This is part of what I was looking for!" she said. "This is a Fused Shadow. Maybe I'll tell you what they are if you get me more," she said with a giggle. Then she looked at Link and immediately sobered. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked.

Link looked up from his sagging seat against the doors and gave her a sort of pitiful glare-thing which clearly was meant to say, "What do you think?" His clothes were badly singed from the acid, and several burns, bruises, and bloody patches decorated his body.

"So..." Midna began uncertainly. "That's how you fish?"

It did not have the desired effect. Link's glare became stronger, another "what do you think?" kind of glare, along with "Hell no!"

"I must say," Midna said, "When you described fishing to me, you always described water. Did you honestly think fish were going to live in an acid lake housing a giant three-headed Twilit Parasite? Even I have more sense than that."

Link coughed, picked up corroded rod at his side, and said, "Midna, shut up and never speak of this again. Let's go."

Midna rolled her eyes and gave an amused sigh before pointing at a spot on the floor and opening up a Twilight Portal. "Whatever you say, Master Fisherman. You might want to get that Heart Container there," she said, indicating the spinning heart on the ground by the portal.

Link glared at her as he walked over to the heart, picked it up, and put his fishing rod away, as if hoping to burn the memory of the scene from her mind.

-

I said never mention that again," Link said in hard tones which clearly voiced the desire to kill Midna.

"No, you said never talk about it again. I didn't. I just mentioned it by implication." Even in her shadowy form, a huge toothy grin could be seen spreading across the imp's face.

"Well, shut up. Go back to the forest while you're at that. I'm going to catch a fish."

"In the lava??" Midna asked incredulously, before falling over backwards laughing, the echos filling the room.

"Yes, in the lava. Haven't you ever heard of undead skullfish? If that's possible, something could be in here." Without another word, he tossed the line far out into the lava.

"But it'll burn-" Midna protested, falling silent as the bobber landed with a distinct splash and did not catch on fire. She gaped, lost for words.

Link grinned. "See?" he said, sitting like the last time. "And the best is, there's not Diababa to pull me in!"

Midna mouthed wordlessly for about a minute while Link settled down and waited serenely for a bite.

Midna was attempting to reason how some laws of physics had just been broken for no apparent reason. The wooden rod was not burning when it was submerged in lava hot enough to burn it in an instant, work fire along the length of the rod, and scorch Link to the bone, but the bobber was floating up and down on the surface of the magma as if it was water.

Midna frowned. Could Hyrule's Goddesses... really be capable of this?

-

High up in the Sacred Realm, Farore frowned down at Midna through an enchanted looking glass.

"Nice going, Nayru," she said sarcastically. "I thought you were supposed to control the laws of nature? That Twili is on to us."

"Well, it's not my fault Din's fire is malfunctioning!" Nayru snapped, glaring at the Goddess of Power.

"It's malfunctioning because of your flimsy laws!" Din snapped back.

This started an argument between the two goddesses of who was at fault, and Farore rolled her eyes and continued to watch the goings-on below.

-

A half hour passed...

And then an hour...

And then a few years... (not really)

And nothing had moved. Link was still sitting just as calmly, albeit a bit red from all the heat. The bobber was still idly bobbing up and down, and Midna was still pacing, muttering, rolling her eyes, sighing, bemoaning her fate, and doing various other things of the sort.

Suddenly, Link jumped up, a sure sign that he had caught something. Midna stopped rambling on like a cabin-fevered lunatic and stared at Link as he tugged on the rod for all he was worth, sweating from the effort.

"What are you doing?" Midna asked, raising a shadowy eyebrow.

"Something's! On! The! Line!" Link grunted while he tugged. He pulled for all he was worth, yelling with the effort, when suddenly it became a yell of horror and shock, as he lost his balance and fell in the magma.

Midna gasped, and with lightning speed extended her hair-hand and pulled Link out of the lava by his floundering hand. The poor Hylian hero was singed, scorched, and unconscious, but he had an iron grip on his fishing rod, which amazingly still existed. Midna moved he hand to hold Link by his torso, but when she tried to float him to the entrance to the room, the hook got caught. She frowned. So Link had been right, after all. After several minutes of floating and trying to extricate the hook from various angles, Midna gave up with an agitated sigh and gave a mighty yank on the rod with her Twilight powers.

Out came the hook...with a big solidified chunk of lava.

Midna blinked before reigning in control of her laughing and floating over to the safety of the door to deposit Link on the ground. Once she had, she immediately rolled around, helpless with laughter. Link...had caught...a rock! Oh, it was too funny!

About a half-hour later, Link stirred and groaned, still feeling the burns he had inflicted on himself. He got to his feet shakily and drank a Red Potion. "What happened?" he asked Midna groggily, before noticing that she was reclining in the air, laughing without cease.

After another ten minutes, Midna finally calmed downed enough to hold up the fishing rod to Link. The hero first stared in confusion, then shock, then embarrassment at the rock, and when his face turned pink, Midna found the sight so funny that she began laughing helplessly again.

"You caught a rock!" Midna said, mimicking the annoying VOICE that followed them everywhere. "It's 25 inches long! These rocks are unique to the Goron Mines, and can only be caught by the most idiotic of Hylian Heroes!" Link frowned but turned crimson.

"Ah, if only the Goddesses knew who they chose as Hero," Midna said sighing, wiping away a tear from her eye.

-

Din and Nayru glared at Farore. "Oh, nice going, Farore. This is who's going to save Hyrule?"

"Oh, shut up!" Farore said, before huffing and turning back to the enchanted looking-glass.

-

"At least I fished something this time," Link said, picking up the rock. It was surprisingly light. When he turned it over to examine the other side, he noticed strange markings. "Hey, Midna, look at this..."

Midna floated over and appraised the rock. Several designs of bones, resembling fish, were depressed into the stone.

"It's a rock-fish!" Link said happily, holding it up with pride.

Actually, it's a fish-rock.

"VOICE!!!" Midna shrieked, flying all over the room in every direction. "Show yourself!!

I can't show myself without a body... The VOICE said in soundless amusement.

"Who are you... no, what are you, and why do you keep stalking Link and me?!" Midna yelled at the ceiling.

I'm not up there... the VOICE said in a sing-song soundless voice. And it's kind of my job. I get paid to annoy you. Oh yeah, and Midna, stop doing a horrible impersonation of me. I don't sound anything like that. In fact, I don't "sound" at all. But enough about me, what about you? The VOICE seemed to get a playful, excited tone to it. Suddenly, Midna shrieked as she flew around the room, and Link supposed it was not by her own accord. The shadowy imp stopped directly in front of Link.

You caught a Midna! the VOICE said mockingly. You can use her to help you through your quest. Midnas are extremely rare, as they often annoy Zants to the point where they are cursed to the verge of extinction. It's the only thing you'll ever be able to catch, so enjoy the moment while you can! The VOICE plopped Midna down by Link's feet, its noiseless laughter echoing through the room in a way that clearly defied the laws of nature, before fading into a more complete silence.

Midna stood up and glared before jumping into the air and floating to Link's eye level again. "what is up with that cracked up VOICE?" Midna asked. "Did the Goddesses create it?"

Link sighed. "Only the Goddesses know..." he said. The he turned to Midna with a solid glare. "We never talk about this again, we never mention this again, we never imply anything about this again. And if you do, I will attack you the next time we're in Twilight. Got that, Midna?"

Midna grinned. "Of course, Oh Fishing Disaster Master," She said in smooth mocking tones, as Link glared at her, picked up his rod, and continued marching his way through the Goron Mines in a stiff, embarrassed, stubborn silence.

Yeah, I kind of ran out of steam at the end (again...), but hey, I wrote this in under an hour at night after a long day of school.

Apparently the design data for the lava was just to change the color of water and make it kill you if you fell it. So, you can "fish" in it. But you won't catch rock-fish, fish-rocks, Magtails, or anything else.

Bet ya thought there was going to be a Goddesses scene at the end, huh? Hah! Gotcha!

I finally posted something after a few weeks... Oh, it would help if those of you who review tell me to get off my lazy butt and do some updating rather than just posting RHO's.

Review! It motivates me! But only if you want to. Happy weekend! --Blue