Mycroft John and I were on our third challenge in the macabre exchange we found ourselves embroiled in with Eurus, my troubled estranged baby sister. So much information had yet to sink in but for the present the tasks at hand took every bit of wits and endurance we had. Our participation and success in each room of Sherrinford our prison guaranteed a brief smattering of time in order to speak to a child trapped in a pilot-less aircraft in the sky.
At the prompting of our captor, I began a full spate of deductions regarding the simple coffin set on props that we had discovered in the middle of the barren cell and it's mystery owner.
Mycroft cast a searching look around, while I talked, soon locating and walking toward the simple lid leaning against the wall.
Upon reading it, he interrupted me 'Or we could read the name' I paced over to him, glancing at the simple name plate on the wooden lid.
Three words, 'I love you'. My immediate deductions hit hard knocking the breath from my chest. Petite, worked with the dead, and I could literally see her brown eyes shining with her unspoken emotions.. Oh, Molly, isn't this exactly what I tried to spare you.
I felt dazed and slowly made my way back to the casket, I leaned on it for support struggling to come to terms with the danger implied for Mycroft's barbs and John's ridiculous suggestion that Irene was the intended victim, I reminded them there was only one person of our acquaintance who would have chosen such an unassuming resting place and bore a sentimental regard for myself. John knew it well .. her efforts to please, the obvious behaviours that indicated affection and attraction. All I could think was that for the first time the grim reality of a world without her in it stared me in the face. It was not a pleasant sensation.
John spoke curiously, and almost simultaneously with me as I voiced her name , 'Molly' .. 'Molly Hooper ' Try as I might there was nothing to indicate Molly's present whereabouts, whether here or some other fearsome enclosure.
'Eurus chirped raucously, informing me that my friend was safe even as 3 live feeds from Molly's flat appeared and a count down clock set to 3 minutes. I was compelled to move closer to see for myself that she was safe.
The clock inferred a challenge and knowing Moriarty as I did it would be one designed to inflict the most sadistic pain he could devise.
I already felt afraid for Molly as Eurus set the rules and somehow before the last words fell from her lips I knew what sick humiliation had been cooked up between them. The woman, who had provided a way out of The Fall who had let her foolish heart rule her head would now be used as a weapon against me and I against her in the game of Caring is not an Advantage.
Eurus placed the call as I looked expectantly at Molly, who stood at her sink with her back to us apparently lost in a reverie. The tones snapped her out of it, and I took a deep breath preparing for action. But Molly turned to her cutting board and appeared to have no intention of picking up her phone.
It was frustrating, to have her so close to danger and so uncooperative in her rescue. My mind raced in deducing her. There were only a few easy ones. .Molly appeared to not be the owner of a cat any more due to lack of cat hairs. She appeared to have invested in higher end home gadgets...not the time at all.
Eurus dialed again, and this time even John urged her to pick up. By now I had reached into my mind palace striving to find the information with which to negotiate for Molly's life if the clock ran out.
Her voice came on the PA and I looked up, her posture and tone displayed fatigue but she had answered and now I would get my chance.
"Hello,Sherlock, is it urgent, because I'm not having a good day. '
"Molly I just want you to do something for me and not ask why.'
Perhaps keeping it professional would be kinder, perhaps keep it from wounding too much.
''God, this is not one of your stupid games, is it?'
"No it's not a game; I need you to help me-
"I'm not at the lab" she jumped in, cutting me off.
"It's not about that" Shameful guilt surged finding out that she still expected me to try to manipulate her - because really this was just another manipulation.
"Well, quickly then.. " Gathering my resolve was for some reason very difficult. . a strange feeling of painful regret swept over. Why?
"Sherlock" she urged. "What is it, what do you want?"
"Molly please without asking why could you say these words, " I knew I was fighting a losing battle of keeping emotions out. There was no easy way out and Eurus' prompts made this even harder.
"What words?"
"I love you."
"Leave me alone," Molly reacted defensively and moved to hang up. My effort to keep it on neutral ground had failed.
I panicked the words tumbling out at a roar, 'Molly no please no - do not hang up, do not hang up!' I ordered her desperately.
Eurus threatened me to restrain myself, and I knew I must for all our sakes. I raked my hair in frustration. A no harder case had I ever encountered.
The dreaded tears and questions came from Molly, ' Why are you doing this? Why are you making fun of me?'
"Molly please I swear you just have to listen to me,"
I struggled to keep it impersonal in spite of Eurus prompts, why cross bridges that couldn't be recrossed?
"Molly this is for a case ..it's a sort of experiment," I could hear the condescension in my tone and was not surprised with Molly's words.
"I'm not an experiment, Sherlock," her tone was sad and her voice quiet but firm.
"No, I know you're not an experiment , you're my friend, we're friends, but please - "
"Just say those words for me. "
"Please don't do this - just- just- don't do it." I understood I was entering ground we had tacitly agreed to stay clear of but what choice did I have? The time frame created the necessity for a no holds barred skirmish.
'It's very important-I can't say why but I promise it is."
"I can't say that -I can't - can't say that to you."
"Of course you can. Why can't you?" Molly really , why are you being stubborn they're just words.
"You know why,"
"NO I don't know why!"
"Of course you do," her tone expressing disbelief,
Moriarty's nightmarish richter filled me with bile.
"Please, just say it," I kept thinking what else could I try?
"I can't not to- 'Why" As time ticked on my fear grew and I grew more desperate.. failure was not an option.
"Because - because it"s tr- because it's -true - Sherlock , it's always been true,"
I had surmised from the start but now was affirmed of the utter cruelty of this game; that Molly in her undoneness and hurt would declare openly the unrequited love I had shoved back in her face time and time again. But to look at her face it shone with a peace I had never seen as if there was healing in the words she was saying.
"If it's true just say it anyway," I felt like we were home free.
"You bastard,"
"SAY IT ANYWAY," I had to push.
"You say it, go on you say it first.."
"WHAT?" This scenario was not in my book" For her sake and the plane in crisis, I had ONE try to get it right.
"Say it , say it like you mean it," the words came with a subtle challenge.. she would not be made a fool of again ..
"I - I love you " - " I love you," ( why was my heart racing and my palms sweating? )
A strange pain and pride as I saw her tenderly caress the phone, " - Molly - Molly
please? "
Molly seemed to measure my words, seeking their validity finally choosing to speak,
"I love you." With 2 seconds to spare I had completed the challenge and defused the bomb.
Mycroft began a litany, his equivalent of the greater good no doubt.
I swiftly interrupted, ' Eurus I won, I won. Come on play fair.. I WON! ' Did Eurus have tears on her eyes? 'I won, I saved Molly Hooper.
Eurus appeared on the screen before me, ' You didn't win, you lost. There was no bomb why would I be so clumsy? You didn't win .. look what you did..
So in the end my battering of Molly's emotions had been deemed a failure.
As Eurus monologued I walked in awe back past the luscent casket. That shining hollow was a sight too awful to bear,so I hoisted the simple lid and carried it over, placing it securely.
I found myself once more reading that simple inscription and caressing the casket as a terrible grief like protective sensation billowed up in my chest and consumed me. The casket all at once became an intolerable, loathsome, egregious object that in spite of myself I found myself pummelling into oblivion.
With a mournful soul-destroying cry I sank down along the wall and wept openly until I could weep no more. Wrung out and in a calmer frame of mind, I merely sat until John approached.
'Look I know this is torture, John said, 'but you have got to pull it together.'
We shared a world weary look as he helped me to my feetWe repeated our mantra of soldiers and entered the next room.