Author's Note: I wrote this about five minutes ago, while cleaning my room. I just dropped the vacuum cleaner, stared at
the wall for a second, then ran to my desk. Has that ever happened to anyone? A total burst of inspiration? Anyways,
like all the rest of my stories, this one is about Irvine. I don't know why, for some reason I can
relate to him better. He fascinates
me. So this is a little monologue of
his thoughts. I know its short, but
please…comments ARE appreciated! I
mean, I review all your stories, so the least you could do is return the
favor? J By the way…those of you that
are waiting for the second part of Tears, its on its way. And its rated R for sexual content. I'm new at that sort of thing, I hope I don't
totally mess up.
-SelphieBabe
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I am alone. Like autumn leaf floating on the chill breeze, I drift from place to
place. Sometimes its hard to admit,
hard to give in…but I know where I'm goin'. Downhill. The easiest path, and
damn if I'm gonna let anyone stop me now.
It's not what I wanted from life. But I had no choice. The decisions I made when younger, my brain
foggy with drink, senses clouded by wanton lust…they've brought me down faster,
and I can't stop myself. I'm falling,
spinning endlessly through a vortex of confusion and pain. Fuck it all, I don't care anymore.
Life ain't what its cut out to be. Happiness is a lie, love is a trick. Depression…reality hits you like a sharp
slap in the face.
And you all think I'm a fool. Don't deny it, I've seen the look
before. Stupid cowboy can't do anything
right. Can't live life right. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don't
see a way back. Maybe there never was. I've been here so long, memories of better
times are fading away, like a hopeful grain of sand against the despairing
waves.
You…you with the eyes like springtime, green and
lush. The cheerful smile, the sparkling
laughter…why do you try? Can't you see
I'm dead already? Yet, you hold me
tightly, and I don't shy away from your embrace. You should stop now, little butterfly. You're gonna get hurt. I
don't deserve your sweetness. Go
brighten up another man's life, sunshine. But…don't go just yet. Maybe if
you continue to pull on my heart, I'll see the way out. Stay with me, Sefie. I haven't given up yet.