Prologue: They all meet up in the coffee house 1 year later, and Joey has news…

"Honey, stop biting your nails." Monica firmly picks Chandler's hand from his mouth, placing it in hers on her lap.

"I can't, this advert is big. Million dollar investment. How can I not be nervous when I'm the co-executive producer? If this were Bay Watch I would have no problem. Just direct all the hot women to just... run around the beach. Just, the whole time." He takes his free hand and makes circles with his finger.

"I know, honey, but listen, you're gonna be great. You'll nail it, I believe in you." Chandler shifts position on the couch from where Monica was snuggled against him.

"Really?"

Monica starts laughing. "Don't… don't make me laugh, of course not no." She pats him on the chest. "But don't out yourself down. Believe in yourself." Chandler loudly sighs and gets up.

"Well, I am going to the toilet. If I don't come out in 20 minutes, assume it's because I've killed myself."

Phoebe talks from the armchair. "Oh, 'cause that would be so bad." She snorts. "No? Too far?" Everyone creases their foreheads. "Too far, OK. Yeah, um, we love you Chandler. Woo!"

"Phoeb- Why are you wooing?" Ross asks.

"It's been a long day." She says with confirmation from Mike. "It's true, she's been to the spa, had to massage muscularly-developed men and then came home and sat down for an hour." Phoebe just nods, oblivious to the scarcasm. "See?"

Rachel, ignoring this, turns to Ross. "Sweetie, if we wanna get that 8:45 dinner reservation we should leave soon." Ross looks at his watch.

"Nah, we got time."

"No, we don't."

Joey perks up. "Oohahoo, tensions rising in the Geller marriage." He curls his hands in and out as an alarm, eyes wide, a smirk plastered to his face. They both just stare, and slowly shake their heads.

"Alright, 10 more minutes."

"Ok, sweetie." And to prove Joey wrong, she kissed him.

"Jeez, get a room. Am I right?" Again, everyone shakes their heads. "Just me then. Ok, Gunther? Can I get 2 more triple choc muffins and a cup o' joe?"

"Sure. Anyone else?"

"Uhh, actually, yeah. I'll have a latte, no foam." Ross says with a smile.

"No? No one else? Ok, just Joey then." He walks off stiffly.

"Seriously. What is his problem with me? That's been going on for years now."

"Maybe it's because you hang out with me, Gunther's always been in love with me, bless him." Phoebe says with a consolatory tilt of the head.

"He's never mean to Mike. And Phoebe, Joey hangs around with you too." Ross whines.

"I know but Joey's, ya know, Joey. He's like our little bull dog."

"Yeah. Ha, ha. How du like them apples." Joey says.

"Well, anyway." Chandler saunters back in and slouches on the couch. A considerable distance from Monica, and she bumps her fists together in front of him. "I don't see why he persists in being unnecessarily rude to me. You know, I'm gonna confront him about it."

Everyone choruses No's but he doesn't listen. Gunther walks back over in his yellow shirt and apron, carrying a tray with muffins and a coffee, and Ross looks up at him from the couch.

"Hey, Gunther. Do we, have a problem here?" He says casually, waving his finger between them.

"Yes, you're right. I've been hiding but…" Everyone waits. "I hate your hair. Too much grease."

Ross looks deeply offended as Rachel agrees.

"Yeah, I know right. He never listens to me when I try to make him stop."

"You… you agree with me?" Gunther relieves in awe.

"Uhh, yeah, sure."

"Excuse me." He puts a hand over his mouth and walks off. Once in the kitchen there's a 'YEAAAHHHHHHHHHH, YES YES YES YES YES YES, FINALLY!'

Everyone in the coffee house stop talking for a little bit, and Gunther walks back out.

Everyone stares at him. "What? Have I got something on my shirt?" He looks down, and everyone starts their conversations back up.

Joey clears his throat. "Guys, I have some news I wanna share with you. I'm the lead in a movie! Eek!" Everyone Aww's and congratulates him.

"Wow, Joey. What's it called?" Phoebe says.

"Crack of dawn." Everyone sniggers and Joey frowns. "What?"

"It's Al Pacino's butt all over again." Chandler says.

"Joey, this could be your big break." Ross laughs.

"Hey guys, let's not jump to conlusions."

"Thank you Phoebe."

"Yeah, we wouldn't make any ASSumptions." Everyone laughs again and finally Joey gets it.

"Oh haha, very funny. You guys, you're supposed to be supportive. This is huge for me."

"Come on guys, Joey." Chandler says. A look of reassurance appears on Joey's face. "We're totally behind you." Joey walks out and everyone screams with laughter, calling out "No Joey, come back, we'll get to the bottom of this." And "It's ANUSastonishing piece of news."