Disclaimer: all rights to Cabin Pressure belong to John Finnemore (or BBC radio 4, I am not sure really).
-Baah!
-Carolyn, stop it!
-What? I am still very much enjoying the fact that you are afraid of soft wooly creatures peacefully chewing grass on the meadow.
-I have already told you that it's not about such sweet creatures, it's about large horned terrible monsters!
Douglas smiled vengefully, crumpling Arthur's hat in his fist. How lucky he was, passing by Carolyn's office at precisely the right moment. He still felt humiliated after their viewing of MJN Air video welcome all together. And if he could get back at Carolyn by stealing another bottle of 'Talisker' next time Mr. Birling chose to use their questionable services again, it was somewhat more difficult to think of a suitable punishment for Herc, his bitter friend. And now they handed him a perfect weapon.
"Douglas?" The red-haired pilot looked indignant, "Are you eavesdropping? That is too low even for you!"
Douglas straightened and focused his icy stare at Martin making him choke back on his tirade and assume his usual look of a petrified rabbit in front of a boa. "As I recall, Sir owes me a huge favor. " Martin swallowed nervously, his eyes widening in sudden realization that indeed he did owe Douglas for his help with delivering the piano to Ottery St. Mary. Mischievous devils were dancing in Douglas's eyes, "Well as it happens I am very much in need of a man with a van."
The moon shone brightly but was often covered by thick clouds which suited Douglas very well. Stooping low he crawled along the hedge to the porch of Herc's house. Martin, almost hyperventilating, was hugging something large and very much alive behind his back. "Douglas, it kicked me again," younger man whispered in despair, trying to wipe profuse perspiration from his forehead on the hedge as both his hands were occupied, "Please, let's not do this, it looks like a robbery!".
"For God's sake, Martin," Douglas turned the key in the lock without any unnecessary noise, "If anything we are adding to Herc's worldly possessions which can hardly be classified as robbery. What did look like a robbery was snatching the keys to his house from the pocket of Carolyn's jacket. But that's totally her fault, keys just can't be left lying around so carelessly."
"Well, you would know about leaving keys lying around, wouldn't you?" Martin looked triumphant but Douglas didn't deign to look back, he was busy creeping inside the house and motioning Martin to follow him.
"Damn, this thing is huge," Douglas marveled dragging Martin and their soft and warm trophy upstairs to where he deduced master bedroom should be. After a series of noiseless peeking Douglas victoriously shook his fist in the air and nudged the next door open wider, "Come on, take the rope off, and the one on the muzzle as well! And now go, go, go!"
They were out on the porch in five seconds, Douglas lagging behind to lock the door quickly again and follow Martin to the van. Lights went on and violent 'Baahs' mixed with hysterical male shouts for help were heard clearly enough. Douglas spent another precious second to admire the commotion he caused clearly seen in the dance of shadows behind the drawn curtains. On his way back to the van he passed Martin curled on the ground. Douglas stopped abruptly, manhandled groaning Martin into the van and climbed on the driver's seat.
"Now what?" he snarled, starting the engine. "Oh, Douglas, please don't be mad, but I think the sheep twisted my ankle when it kicked me last time. God, and tomorrow morning I have a job as a man with a van." Speeding up Douglas smiled good-naturedly, "Well, luckily for you I am in a mood for some leisurely driving. And it turns out I like to claim huge favors that you owe me very much."