Disclaimer: I do not own Superman, DC Comics and Warner Bros. do.
A/N: Hehe, this is a oneshot based on a crazy idea I had while jogging… and somehow it just stuck with me. This isn't my best example of writing by any standard, but I hope you enjoy the attempted humor behind it )
Superman has dozens of enemies- and I don't even know all of them. There could be even hundreds of small-time crooks or corrupted politicians that want the big blue Boy Scout to simply disappear- forever. Clark Kent, however, has few, if any. But everyone has an archenemy.
I have two- one for each persona. For the man of steel, it is obviously the bald megalomaniac known to the world as Lex Luthor. For Clark Kent, however, the archenemy is not nearly as dangerous or hell-bent to destroy me for all I'm worth- although I'm not so sure about the latter.
My archenemy is none other than the laser printer that occupies the corner of my desk at the Daily Planet, the one that Lois Lane has jestingly dubbed Lex Luthor, because of its tendency to be out to get me is like the actual Lex Luthor's obsession with killing Superman. So really, if you want to get technical, Lex Luthor is the archenemy of both sides to me.
Every time that I attempt to print an article out, something goes wrong. Either the printer isn't connected to my computer, or it isn't receiving the document, or its out of ink, or there's a paper jam… The list could go on and on.
The two Lex Luthors seem to share the same goal- to destroy my life. The only real difference is in the way that they attempt to accomplish that goal; the man tries to kill me, but the printer refuses to cooperate and almost makes me lose my job and perhaps even reveal my secret. How? That machine annoys me so much that I almost lose my temper and do something… drastic. When your two identities are separated by glasses, clothes, and a part on the other side of your head; you need to be extra careful in not revealing yourself.
Boy, I sure hate Lex Luthor.