Bound To You

Summary: Chibs tells Juice's fiancée about the suicide attempt. Is it possible for them to get out of this mess with SAMCRO crumbling in front of everyone's eyes?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons.

CHAPTER ONE: Little Lion Man

Weep, little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

Avery Morrow had just finished a 12 hour shift at St. Thomas Hospital and sat on the bench outside to take a deep breath. She was exhausted after putting all of her focus into work to take her attention off of her drifting fiancé. He kept the conversations short between them, spent less time at home, and was beginning to slowly push her away. She honestly didn't know what to do about the situation.

'What am I doing wrong? Does he not love me anymore?' Avery thought, fighting back the tears. A familiar face walked up to the bench and took the seat next to her. It was none other than her godfather, Chibs.

Chibs had a special relationship with Juice, a father/son-like bond. He felt the young man's actions could have been prevented had he stepped in when he began to notice the personality shift. He should have known something was wrong and did something to help Juice. He felt responsible for Juice's suicide attempt.

"Aye sweetheart," he kissed her cheek and felt the dampness from her tears. "What's wrong?" he questioned, not knowing if she already knew or not.

"I'm just worried about Juice and I feel so helpless," her heart was slowly beginning to crack under the pressure of distress.

"Avery," he paused, reluctant to ask her, "Do you know what happened the other night?" Chibs asked referring to the night to when he and Tig discovered Juice coming out of the woods, claiming to have run into the chains.

Chibs didn't notice until later that Juice had the tow truck with him and not his bike. Putting two and two together, he went back to the sight and found Juice trying to get the chain off the broken branch.

"Oh shit, you scared me to death," Juice said as Chibs approached him and the branch, which he tried to hide by stepping in front of it.

Chibs walked forward, picking up the steel chain and looking at the bruises on Juices neck from where the noose was tied. Anger flashed in Chibs eyes; anger towards Juice for trying to end his life when so many loved him, anger that he was going to throw away his future, anger that he was going to leave Avery alone.

Before he knew what he was doing, Chibs lurched for Juice and grabbed him tightly by the sweatshirt and slammed him to the ground. "Jesus … WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU COWARD" Chibs knew the drug cartel was rough on everyone but not rough enough for suicide. What was going through this kids head?

Juice sobbed on the ground, wanting to blend in and be one with the roots. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to have to face the consequences for his actions. He felt so guilty for everything, stealing the coke and killing his friend Miles. He felt as though he deserved to die.

Chibs rested against the tree, tears streaming down his face. Everything was getting so out of hand, it needed to end. It needed to go back to the way it was before they were put in jail; before everything took a turn for the worse. Granted, there were few peaceful times for the club.

Juice laid there, tears pouring out everywhere when Chibs leaned over and pulled him up. "Comeeon, get up." He stood there with the young man crying into his chest as Chibs patted his back. "Commeeon, alright." Chibs was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to do or say to comfort the distraught friend in his arms.

"No, I haven't seen Juice in two days. He called me from the clubhouse saying he was just gonna stay there because there's a lot going on right now," Avery looked down into her lap and felt her eyes beginning to well back up.

Chibs didn't know how to say this. He had known the young woman sitting next to him since she was a baby; he knew how fragile her spirit was, how easily broken it could be.

"Juice tried to commit suicide. He tried to hang himself but the branch broke," Chibs said emotionless. He still couldn't believe that it had happened.

In that instant, Avery felt her heart shatter and chest grow heavy. She began to sob, not able to control the tears. She felt as though the world around her was moving in slow motion, and skies were beginning to cave in. She closed my eyes, hoping this was just a dream, a nightmare even. "Please tell me this is a sick joke," she knew it wasn't. She knew something was wrong and she hadn't done anything to prevent it. It was completely her fault.

"I …" Chibs was once again at a loss for words. Never before had they had to face something this vexing.

"Where is he?" she demanded to know. Her emotions were in disarray. She needed to see Juice; she needed to see him immediately.

"He's at the clubhouse," she was gone in a flash. He watched her in her light pink scrubs running to her car, fumbling for her keys.

As soon as she took a seat and started the car, she rested her head in her palms and just cried. A knock on the window made her jump. Chibs knocked once more, motioning for her to get out of the car. "Passenger seat, now. I'll drive you," she didn't hesitate as she walked around the car.

It took about 15 minutes to get to the club house, but had felt like an eternity strapped into that seat. Before Chibs even had a chance to put the car in park, she was running into the building. Happy, Tig and Bobby were sitting at the bar; Juice by himself in a chair towards the corner, drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

"What the HELL were you thinking Juice?" she exclaimed, everyone shocked to hear her yell. Juice's eyes went wide as he jumped up. The petite girl walked furiously towards him and began to pound her fists into his chest.

"HOW COULD YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" she threw a hard punch with her left hand. "Throwing away EVERYTHING like that?" this time with her right.

"Well shit boys, I think we should leave them alone," Chibs ushered Tig, Happy and Bobby out so it was Juice and Avery alone.

"Avery …" Juice began to say, but she cut him off.

"Shut up Juan. I'm not finished," she spat angrily, stepped back staring into his dark brown eyes as tears formed in her own ocean blue ones. He looked ashamed of what he had done. On the inside, he felt awful for causing this much pain to the woman he loved; the woman he'd die for. 'Chibs was right,' he though, 'I am a coward.'

"You don't understand Juice, I need you. Without you, I have absolutely no reason to live. You're everything to me, and if I lose you then I lose myself. I will do nothing but suffer if you leave me. Why won't you open up to me? How can we get married if you won't let me in? Instead of telling me what's wrong, you've been pushing me away. What is wrong, what can I do to make you better?"

He stepped forward, taking her into his arms as she sobbed uncontrollably. He began to cry too. He should have told her from the beginning. "I love you so much Avery. I never meant to hurt you," he whispered into her ear as he ran his fingers through her soft, blonde hair.

'How could I have given this up?' he thought. 'The smell of sweet strawberries, the warmth of her in my arms; How could I have even thought of giving up true love for death? Oh yeah, the police. I gave up my life the second I took that coke and enforced my consequences when I killed Miles. Nothing can fix this.'

"You need to tell me what's going on Juice," she stated, pulling away from him. He nodded. He needed to come clean, to reveal what had happened to someone. Who better than the person he trusted everything and planned to spend the future with?

"You're never going to forgive me," he said, partly because he was never going to be able to forgive himself. His heart felt dull and lifeless as he eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I'm half black," he started with. She looked … relieved. For the time being at least.

"That's not so bad Juice, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone that if you don't want me to."

"Yeah well stealing coke from the cartel, giving it to the police, then killing Miles and framing him is completely unforgiveable. I don't deserve to live," she looked shocked.

"I don't understand," she slowly said not believing that Juice was capable of such heinous things.

"They blackmailed me. Roosevelt set me up. And now when the club finds out, I'm dead. I wouldn't have done it if there was any other choice. Either way, I'm not going to be alive much longer," he told her the truth.

"We'll figure this out Juice, we have to," she said and he immediately pushed her away from him.

His hands rested on her shoulder and he leaned down to look her in the eyes. "There is no we in this. I'm not dragging you into this. I refuse to. Now, let's go home. I don't know how many more nights I have and I'm not going to waste them like I have been."

Before she could argue, he slipped his hand into hers and walked her out towards the bikes, passing Tig, Happy, Bobby and Chibs. She waved, her face remaining emotionless. They stopped at Juice's bike. He looked down into her eyes. "I love you A, and I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I can't tell you how relieved I am that the branch broke. I can't believe I almost gave everything up. I need you to know that you are the only woman I ever have and ever will love. I'm forever bound to you."

"I know. I love you," she spoke softly, planning to spend the night figuring out a way out of this mess. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her waiting lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his found her waist. He tightened his grip and picked her up, holding his entire world in his arms.

She grabbed the helmet and put in on before climbing onto the bike. He turned around and she saw the worry in his eyes. "We'll figure it out Juice," she hoped. He on the other hand, wasn't convinced that it was possible. They drove off into the sunset, soaking in the rays of the sun while trying to enjoy the calm before the storm.

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

A/N: Just a little something I had on my mind. Hopefully you all enjoy reading it. If you get a chance, let me know what you think! Thank you!