AN: This is probably the utmost random and out of the blue plot I have ever made. I just popped into my head while I was writing another fic. :D And btw, this is not a song fic because it has no relation to any song whatsoever. This fic was posted in the LJ community Nejiten after I posted it here.
EDITED: May 26
Disclaimer: yadiyah. Me ain't own Naruto.
Love could be a game. Either lose inevitably, win triumphantly, or lie in it.
Love is such a game. It toys with hearts of people and controls it the way it wills it to be…almost as if it uses chakra strings. Maybe, out there someone is controlling all those strings and maybe to that person, love is just a game. Probably many people in this world find it as just a game. I guess I sort of agree though, I find it to be the most unfair one.
When the chakra strings tighten, your heart hurts. As it loosens, your heart skips a beat. As it tangles, your heart will feel confused. And when there was no tugging or any of those, then probably that person was probably finally satisfied.
Some would think it to be easy, or others would think it was plain silly and wrong and others who think it is hard to keep.
Why do I find it unfair? I probably realized this when I was still a young genin of thirteen years old. I heard from people that Neji was engaged with Hinata, even as they were still children. The string on my heart tightened. That was really hard for me to cope with.
Such cruel truths should not exist to start. It is unfair because I fell in love with Neji! You can't betroth someone who is in love right? Well, I'm not sure if he returns this favor but I'm working on it. I should at least be given a chance to give what I've got. Fine. Call it jealousy then.
But you know what? Perhaps these cruel truths were made for a reason. I learned that they could teach you something and you know what else I learned on that day? Never jump to conclusions. I found out later on that it was just a cruel joke Ino played on me. After all, she knows I like him.
One day, when Neji and I had our usual training (at the age of 17, yes, it took me four years) I told him I loved him. I was very nervous of course. I mean, who wouldn't be? My head was spinning with all these thoughts of backing out that I couldn't concentrate on our training, even he noticed it himself. My timing was also probably the worst. How could I have forgotten---it was his birthday that day.
The look on his face told me he was unsure of what to react and that's when the string loosened. I got so scared, my insides panicked and I felt like crying. I didn't even know yet what his answer was…so I ran. As far as I could, back to my house, leaving him there all alone. I still feel horrible for doing that but I couldn't help myself. Inside my house, I felt so insecure but for some reason, I felt myself feel much more relaxed as well. Repetitively, I told myself that everything I did was not a wrong thing to do and I shouldn't regret it. Hell, I have no right to because it took me my all just to confess those feelings and even if he doesn't return it, at least I tried!
Seriously, Neji wouldn't and shouldn't avoid me if he doesn't return my feelings. So what if I liked him? I've liked him all these years, did it change anything? But that's where I got wrong.
The next day, when we had training, things were still pretty much the same. Good thing right? Although physically we were still okay, our relationship felt like a masquerade ball. There was pain inside of me that I couldn't hold back so I placed it all in my training. I knew Neji didn't want to talk about it which could only mean that he didn't feel the same way and he wasn't talking about it because he didn't want to hurt my feelings---even seeing his face made me want to take the rest of the day off.
Soon enough I couldn't take it anymore. The pressure and everything else, I was going to shout my feelings at him for no reason at all. Just before I did that, I realized something to myself. I was the one who was making everything worse. It was the other way around. To him, I bet I was only making him feel guiltier. To him, I was being insensitive and mean. So I held back my taunts of him and used my time with Neji to concentrate on fighting instead. After all, we were there to train right? And when I finally enjoyed training once again, I could've sworn I saw him give a small smirk at me.
I promised myself that I'll train harder. I promised myself NOT to forget that confession because it was important.
And even after all that, I still never regretted my feelings and choices.
When we were eighteen, we had a mission to go to another country. That time, Neji asked me something I won't forget.
"If I you really liked me, are you sure that I could give you the happiness you want?"
I got surprised at the question and was sure I was going to a big 'yes' but something stirred in me. I think that at that moment, my heart was tangled with its strings. My whole body froze with just that question. How could I love someone if I was fully aware that that person could not give me happiness? So I thought of the best answer I could think of.
"No." And he gave me a smug look but it seemed more like a sad one instead of proud. "But…it's not happiness that I am in search for from you. You give me much more than that!" Then I returned his look with my genuine smile.
Thus, we got together at last.
When we were twenty-one, Neji told me something that really surprised me. On the same day I confessed to him, his eighteenth birthday, after I confessed, Hiashi told him something.
"You are now eighteen Neji. Soon, you will need to carry on our family lineage through marriage. I have already arranged a bride for you and---" but Neji cut him.
"I don't want one." This reply really startled Hiashi for such was his disrespect for the higher ranking family member. "What did you say?" He sounded angry.
"I beg your pardon but…I just need time."
And then, Neji told me that my confession made him realize his feelings for me but it just took him awhile to admit...a long while.
Until now…I still don't regret anything.
Love is such a game. You can win at it, lose graciously, cheat at it, or gamble in it. You should just play it well and maybe you will get a prize. It is still pretty unfair at some point in time, but without its unfairness, I guess that it would not be considered as love anymore. Right now, I believe that the person playing with my heart is finally satisfied with all the problems he put me through.
Take that. I thought mockingly.
"When making your choice in life, do not forget to live." -Samuel Johnson
AN: Yay! I feel so happy whenever I finish fics. Anyway, please do review and give me your comments! Flames are allowed; just keep the evil words to yourself. By the way, it is in Tenten's POV.