HI GUYS...YOU MUST BE WONDERING WHY ALL OF MY STORIES ARE DELETED...WELL I DON'T WANT TO ASSUME BUT I THINK MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED...OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT ME WHO DELETED MY STORIES...THAT'S JUST DUMB...NO OFFENSE TO PEOPLE WHO DELETED THEIR STORIES...SO YEAH I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO START ANEW! SO HERE IT GOES...LEGGO :]]]
Boring.
That's how I describe my life. I'll wake up in the morning, take a bath, put my uniform on, eat breakfast, walk to school, sit down for hours while listening to teachers, have lunch with my friends, listen to teachers again, go home, get changed, eat dinner, do assignments, take a bath, go to bed. It's just a cycle I unwillingly and unknowingly follow. Well, sometimes I would hang out with my friends after school or there won't be homeworks and I'll just be found staring at the monitor all night but that doesn't change the cycle too much. I very much hate redundancy but what can I do about it? It's not like I can just skip school for once to find that one thing that I'm looking for all along. I still don't know what it is until now. Weird huh? I'm looking for something that I don't know. Maybe it's because of this stupid feeling of emptiness that I'm feeling. There's just something missing in me. I don't want to live in this normal life anymore. It's becoming unhealthy. I want to feel some twist to it. For once, I just want to feel...difference. I don't really care if it's good or bad. Just need something to break the irritating word 'typical'.
It all changed however when I met him. Sawada Tsunayoshi. Our meeting wasn't one of the best but it all worked out in the end. He even saved me when I stupidly tried to injure him. That's the most embarassing memory ever. Yet it's also very important because that's when I experienced love. Love huh? What is love? It's that feeling where your stomach seems to backflip and your heart is almost popping out of your ribcage. I felt it once before with a certain boy I'd rather not tell the name. The memory was so painful that I literally locked the door to my heart with the key inside. We didn't became lovers but I felt it. There was a spark between us. If only we weren't so shy. I spent almost every moment of my life with him. It was then that I feel like I could already go to heaven but then, he had to go. His family was migrating to America, leaving me with a broken heart and a face with dry tears. It was that time that I swore I won't be deceived again. many suitors came my way but I turned all down. I numbed the feeling of love to the opposite sex only to find it bursting out throughout my whole body as he held me, princess-style. Then and there did I proclaim that I would be his future wife.
I knew all of it. All the secrets they've been hiding from us. All the danger they face just to save their so-called 'famiglia'. They were a part of a dangerous organization also known as mafia. Tsuna is the Tenth generation boss and is being trained by Reborn. Gokudera, Yamamoto, Hibari, Chrome, Ryohei and even Lambo. They're all part of this. Risking their lives to save all that is dear to them. I knew everything even before he told me. I just feigned ignorance believing it's a much more suiting role for someone like me who they thought was a girly, hyper, love-sick, innocent girl who knew nothing. I wonder if Kyoko was like me. I bet not. I almost laughed my heart out at that time when we spied the others and she mistook it for something that involves cake. If only I wasn't a good friend would have I called her an idiot. But then again, I think it's better that she thinks that way. No need to stain her innocence for it suited her best. Pure, innocent Kyoko. She reminds me of the color White. I always thought that saying 'white light' is downright stupid since light is already obviously white. I despise redundancy.
To be honest, I was jealous of Kyoko. She's so pure that it seems like anything can go right through her without her being hurt. Do you know that stuff that there's always darkness in people's heart and shit? Well, she clearly defies it. She was always the one Tsuna put at the top of everything. It's obvious that he loves her because from the looks he gives her to the way he talk with her, even a grade schooler can tell that Tsuna's head over heels for Kyoko. It's something that I also discovered ever since but once again, I feigned ignorance. It's not because I think it's better that way. It's because I don't want to admit it even though they're indirectly shoving it to my face. I hate to face the fact. I just want to live in my own imaginative world where Tsuna doesn't love Kyoko but me instead which I now realized as stupidly idiotic. 'Stupidly idiotic' is another word that is redundant but who cares? It's the most perfect word that I can describe to myself. So there I was. Choosing to wearing a mask with a permanent smile painted on it. Hiding my true emotions. It's not like anybody would give a shit about me anyways. Sure they might be worried for a while but after some time, they'll be going back to their businesses again. That's one thing that humans shouldn't have. The attitude of pretending to care for the sake of it. What's the point anyways if they don't even want to?
As time passes by, I finally admitted to myself that this is already getting too old. I need to face my fears. I'll confess once and for all. Yes, I know I seem to confess everytime to Tsuna but this would be different. It's not in front of the public anymore. It's just me and him. Alone. I wasn't really expecting anything. Better yet, I was expecting nothing from him. I know already that he doesn't like me as something more than a friend. No, I'm not being a masochist. I just need to remove this feelings completely. In other words, I need him to tell me directly. I can't survive everyday that I think of these stupid thoughts. I need to be reassured so I can stop fully. Basically he's the trigger. After all, I'm better off when I hit the bottom. So there I was. Waiting for him to come so I can finally end all of this then maybe we can already be normal friends or maybe later, even strangers. I watched him from afar as he stumbles with his own feet. I faked a giggle and tried to strike up some random conversation to set the mood. That's all I ever do in my life anyways. Fake everything. Pretend. Put up an act. Hide everything and keep it to myself. I seriously swear I can be a sensational actress. I gazed at his eyes that matches the color of his eyes. I can't help but smile. I love his eyes. It's so deep yet undeniably see-through. Like the sky above. When I felt that it's time to tell my feelings, I inhaled deeply and prepared myself. I'm not afraid at all. I knew what was coming anyways. I don't think I would mind the pain later on anyways. After all, it helps us to become great persons. It's just a mere stepping stone for me.
"Tsuna? I need to tell you something..." I turned my gaze at the sunset that was in front of us. What a perfect sight for a romantic scene. If only it's not me who's standing there but Kyoko. It could have been perfect. If only I wasn't gonna be rejected. It could have been perfect. But then again, nothing's perfect. So why bother? Although it is a shame to waste such a beautiful, dramatic background for something so obviously stupid.
"Hmm? What is it Haru?" I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. I let the words be clear in my mind. I opened my eyes and looked at Tsuna.
"I know I've told you this for like, a hundred times already but I want to tell you I'm not joking...I really...Love you...And I do want to be your wife..." I can't seem to focus my eyes on one thing. Why the hell am I acting like this? Why was I nervous? It almost seem like I really was expecting an answer. That I am really confessing because I have my hopes up which is the exact opposite of what I intend to do. I know it's bad to feel like this. Have your hopes just to find them falling right in front of you.
"H-haru...I..." Deadly silence surrounded us. I hate this. I waited for him. For him to reject me. Say sorry that he doesn't see me like that. Tell me that we can always be friends but it seems like it took him forever. I watched him as he blushed furiously and cocked his head downwards. That's when I decided to speak for him.
"You can just say no you know...I mean I'm not really expecting you to return my stupid feelings...Just say the magic word and boom! I'll stop...So...Yeah..." I tried to sound as hesitant as possible but honestly, I want him to just say it already. 'No'. Why is it so hard to say that? Is he just afraid to hurt my feelings?Or is it because he's just plainly coward to do so.
"Your feelings are not s-stupid Haru...It's just that...I'm sorry...I just can't believe you really mean those things..."
"Uh...Yeah..." I was seriously losing my patience. Why is he making it so hard for the both of us? Why make it wait? I'm sure he have other things to do.
"Well...I want to tell you that..."
"That?" I literally prepared my right foot so it would be easier to turn around and walk away.
"I...l-l-l-l-love you...t-too..." Right after he said the word 'I', I twirled around and took a step. It must have been totally weird in my case. I already knew what was coming anyway so why wait? But as I process what he had just said, I stopped in my tracks. I blinked a few times and turned around to face Tsuna.
"Pardon me?" I leaned forward. Gesturing him to repeat what he had just said. I feel like hearing things. I just heard him say the exact opposite of what's in my mind. Is that normal?
"I said I l-love you too..." My eyes widened in confusion.
"PARDON ME?" I said almost shouting. I leaned more forward so I can be sure that I hear him clearly.
"I SAID I LOVE YOU!" I shot back as my ears throbbed at the sudden loudness. I looked at him like he was a ghost.
"Uhhh...Tsuna? Do you know what you are saying? Are you sick? Are you feeling okay? Umm...Are you mentally stable right now? Or are you just making fun of me?" I watched him giggle nervously.
"I'm pretty sure I know what I'm saying Haru...And I'm 100% sure that I'm not...retarded..." He told me with a smile. For once in my life I felt like to punching him. My mind is seriously in chaos as I comprehended what he have just said. It repeated in my head over and over again like a broken record. And no it's not like music in my ears. It's like the most nonsensual thing I've ever heard.
"Am I dreaming or am I dreaming? Because if I am, then please feel free to pinch me..." I raised my arms sidewards and closed my eyes. Actually, I really thought I was dreaming. I was expecting to see the ceiling of my room but when I opened my eyes, there stood a laughing Tsuna.
"Seriously Haru...Ahahah...What's wrong with you?" I felt something snap inside me.
"Wrong? Nothing was wrong! Not until three minutes ago!"
"Huh? Did I say something bad?"
"Yes, actually everything you said was totally not right! Tsuna you were supposed to say no! So why the hell did you say yes? It doesn't make sense! What are you planning huh?"
"I'm not planning anything Haru...And what's wrong with me saying yes?" I groaned at him and rolled my eyes. Why was everything going exactly the way I did not plan it to go? What's this guy's problem?
"Did you just understand what you said? You accepted my confession that was meant to be rejected! I was confessing to you so you can say no, tell me you don't like me like that then we can go back to whatever business we have! You're supposed to love Kyoko! Not me! Kyoko! This is not my fairytale! It's Kyoko's! I'm supposed to be Anastasia and she should be Cinderella and you should be the freaking prince!" I now realized that I was screaming crazy. I was frustrated. It might seem weird at your point of view since I should be rejoicing now because my crush just admitted that he loves me too but this is just downright weird. What has the world gone up to? Did it flip down and miraculously the minds of the people were changed? Is it opposite day? Is it the end of the world? I took a breather as he stared at me like an owl.
"What are you saying Haru?" I closed my eyes as headache started to kick in. I scratched my head furiously.
"Okay...We'll sort this out...Tsuna...Didn't you like Kyoko?" I stated calmly.
"W-well...Yeah but...I guess I've...changed?"
"Hahah! Yeah right! So what...You just miraculously thought that you loved me? Nice story! That's the most convincing reason ever! Last time I checked, you were drooling over her." I said sarcastically at him.
"I just realized that whenever I'm near my h-heart beats so fast and I can't look at your way and before I know it, I'm already thinking about you almost everyday..." I narrowed my eyes at him as he took my hand.
"Haru..." He moved his face closer to mine and I immediately realized what was going to happen. I shoved his face with my palm before he can even kiss me.
"This...is so not happening..." Tsuna looked at me with sad eyes.
"You don't...like me?" I sighed at him and forced my self to smile.
"Do you think I'll proclaim to anyone that you're my soon-to-be husband if I didn't like you? Do you think I'll be standing here right now, confessing to you if I didn't like you? Tsuna I love you! A lot actually! It's just that...I wasn't expecting this at all...I mean all this time you've been chasing Kyoko and shrugging me...And I guess I got tired...So here I am...Expecting you to reject me...I just got a bit...culture shocked..." I actually just want to laugh to all that was happening. This is so awkward. What a weird day...
"Well...I'm chasing you now aren't I?" He grinned at me and I smiled a relieved smile.
"Sawada Tsunayoshi...You're the bigest mistake that came into my life...Because of you, my life changed drastically in a blink of an eye...Thank you..." His smile was so wide that it made me want to cry. This is just so good to be true.
"So...Can I kiss you now?"
WELL THAT'S IT ACTUALLY...I KNOW IT'S CRACK AND HAS A WEIRD PLOT BUT THAT'S WHAT CAME OUT OF MY MIND...SORRY FOR BEING SUCH AN ASSHOLE OF A WRITER...I DESERVE TO DIE...