Palms sweating, knees trembling, she stood on the dais as civilians gathered to watch from the upper levels of the Citadel Tower. Her life was changing so quickly she dared not blink. This is a momentous occasion, they remind her. The day humanity received acknowledgement. The day Shepard became a Spectre.
The day she felt the weight of the galaxy.
/
She was back on Virmire. She knew it was a dream before she felt the gun in her hand. Saren stood across from her, an unknown figure in his grasp. Shepard yelled but the sound was lost over the roaring waves. The figure's face materialized as she raised her gun. It was Ashley—no, Kaidan. The features swam in her vision. It's your fault, their voices whisper. She sighted on their face. You left me to die.
She fired.
/
They almost made it. A surprise attack meant nothing when her entire crew made it to the escape pods. She just had to deliver Joker. She ignored the rippling stasis field above her head separating them from a vacuum of starless heaven as they neared the evac center. She shoved her pilot into a pod; the Normandy trembled. Gravity disappeared.
Helmet sirens blared—life support failed. She spiraled toward reentry. Breath snatched from her lungs before she could inhale, her veins iced over, her heart stammered.
In the end, there was no bright light.
/
She awoke with a gasp, her vision tinted orange. Screams pierced the air. How did she know she was next? Fists pounding against the glass, she screamed for help. She couldn't escape. She couldn't breathe. Her flesh crawled, fileting itself straight from her muscles. Eyes burning, muscles collapsing, screams unheard.
She knew the Collectors won.
/
The friends she'd lost—the people she let down—all swam before her eyes in oily shadows. War was merciless; war required sacrifice. They blamed her. They died because she was too selfish, too afraid. The sins of the wicked must be paid, an emerald face told her. Your cost is too high.
/
She sprinted for the beam on unsteady legs. She was afraid, but she had failed so many times before. Not this time. She would live up to their ideals; she would make humanity proud. She would do her final duty and could only pray it was the right choice.
Eyes closed, she held her breath as light engulfed her.
In the end, she felt nothing.