Heeey all my little boys and girls :) This is just a stupid one-shot thing I wrote because I was struck with writer's block -.- Had to reupload it because apparently the original title wasn't tame enough... That kind of sucks, but oh well. What're you gonna do?
...Well anyways, this is just what I imagined it'd be like if the boys found out about fanfiction and stuff... in a world where I own them (which I don't here, obviously)... and that means slashedy-slash-slash everywhere huns, a girl can dream... *cough cough*... Oookay, now on with the story ;) Enjoy!
The Hell Is Fanfiction?
Logan groaned, the unfinished homework papers lying mockingly in front of him. When Kendall came to him to ask him for some "help" in maths he kind of figured already that his "helping" would end up in him doing all the work. It was basically a regular thing for him to do the homework for one of his friends. But what he didn't expect was James and Carlos to come to him too and complain about how he didn't help them instead. And since he had to admit that it was indeed kind of unfair to do Kendall's homework and not theirs... well...
"I need new friends", Logan mumbled under his breath before picking up a pencil and starting on James' paper when all of the sudden a shout rang through the apartment.
"HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD!"
"Aaaah!", Logan screamed and shot up from his bent down position abruptly which caused his chair to trip backwards and send him flying down to the ground. All the air left him in a rush when his back hit the hard floor with a loud thud. He just lay there for a little while trying to catch his breath before he sat up slowly, groaning and rubbing the back of his head.
"What the fuck, Carlos! Never scare me like that again, you hear me?"
When his friend made no sound of acknowledgement Logan turned around to find him sitting in front of his laptop with eyes widened to the size of saucers. It looked so ridiculous that Logan had to suppress the urge to laugh loudly despite his anger. What the hell was Carlos doing that caused him to look like this?
"Whatcha looking at Carlitos?"
Again no noticeable reaction. When his friend still didn't move after a good minute Logan's curiosity got the better of him. He snapped his fingers in front of the other boy's face a few times.
"Carlos!"
The Latino literally seemed to snap out of a trance judging by the way he startled back to life.
"Th-a-th-t-tha-", he sputtered while pointing at the screen in complete shock. His face turned beat red in an instant and suddenly he shouted in anger and desperation. "That never happened!"
Logan was confused. Carlos was acting outstandingly weird right now and that meant something. Since when did he get so upset over stuff on the internet? "What are you talking about?" An idea hit the brunette. "Did some magazine gossip about you? C'mon you know that they're just telling bullsh-"
"No it's not that", Carlos interrupted him. He looked at Logan and his eyes were filled with utter embarrassment. "They're writing about us."
Logan perked up his ears. "Like... stories?"
"Yeah", Carlos said, gesturing for his friend to sit next to him. "See, I was just looking up my name, like this..." He typed 'Carlos Garcia' into some searching machine and hit enter. A couple of sites popped up, one of them named "Big Time Rush FanFiction Archive". Carlos clicked on it with his mouse and on the screen appeared a website in a simple layout that held seemingly hundreds of stories about them. Logan whistled in awe.
"Wooow! Who wrote all of these?"
Carlos looked at him with a wild look in his eyes. He grabbed Logan's shoulders and shook him slightly. "Sick people, Loges", he whispered gravely. "Sick people."
The brunette just laughed at his friend's comical behaviour and shrugged the hands off. "C'mon Carlos. I mean yeah, there's an awful lot of stories there but that doesn't make those people sick. Everyone needs hobbies. And after all it's great that they even take the time to make all of these up, right?"
Why the shorter boy gave him a sort of pitying look right now was over Logan's head. "Go on, read some of the summaries. You'll understand."
The brunette simply rolled his eyes at him and pulled Carlos' laptop onto his thighs. Then he started scrolling through the stories. At first everything seemed normal, but then something caught his eye. In one of the stories the warnings said 'Kogan-Slash'. Curious what it meant he opened the link. His eyes widened already after the first couple of paragraphs.
"Oh. My. God!", he breathed as he read a very, and I mean very detailed sex scene of himself and their blonde leader trapped in an elevator. "You've GOT to be kidding me!"
"I know right?", Carlos shouted and threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. "Not only are they making us gay, but gay for each other!"
Logan's head snapped up from the screen. "You mean..."
"Yes my dear friend." Carlos had never looked so serious in his whole life. "They're pairing each and everyone of us. Even Camille and Jo. And Jett. And Gustavo. And..."
"Hold up!", Logan shouted, successfully stopping Carlos in his ramble. "Gustavo? They're fucking pairing us with Gustavo?"
"Yeah..." Carlos sighed exasperatedly. "Wanna read some?"
Logan jumped away from the laptop as if he had been burned. "Ewww! Ew! Ew! Ew! Fucking HELL to the NO!"
Suddenly the door opened and Kendall stepped into the room, smiling like a mad man. Probably just back from a date with Jo or something.
"What's all the ew-ing about?"
"Our fans write stories about us having sex with Gustavo!", Carlos blurted out, blunt as ever. And of course getting smacked on the back of his head by Logan. They both looked at their friend, still waiting for a reply from the blonde.
Kendall was silent for another moment. He blinked a couple of times like his mind couldn't comprehend this information properly. Then he started laughing so hard that tears rolled down his cheeks. Logan and Carlos just watched him, not a hint of amusement on their faces.
"Oh my god", the blonde gasped as he wiped his face, still laughing between his words. "That was brilliant. Just imagine that, our fans sexing us up with Gustavo!" His laughter stopped for a moment when he shuddered in disgust. "No, scratch that. You shouldn't imagine it." Then he started cackling again, clutching his stomach.
"Kendall, he's not joking", Logan said seriously. His tone meant business.
Kendall shut up immediately upon hearing it. The brunette wasn't a person to joke about something like that. But come on, stories about him and Gustavo? No fucking way was that true.
"Oh yeah? Show me."
Carlos turned the laptop towards the blonde and let him read the currently opened fanfiction. Kendall's face went from smiling to frowning to blushing to paling in less than thirty seconds. It was almost funny to watch. Almost. Carlos and Logan still waited for some sort of reaction from their leader when suddenly he screamed so loudly that they flinched away.
"JAMES!"
The tall brunette appeared in the doorway only a few seconds later.
"God, what is it?", he asked, obviously annoyed.
"Carlos found stories about us sexing each other up", Kendall stated furiously, practically fuming.
James stared at his friends for a moment, then he shrugged. "And?"
Three pairs of eyes shot him an unbelieving look.
"What?", James asked nonchalantly. "I found this website long ago. You have to read the OT4 ones, those are the best." He flopped down on the bed next to Carlos.
"Okay wait, wait. Hold up!", Kendall half shouted while raising his arms as if to stop James. "You knew about these stories?"
"Yeah", James said irritatedly. "What's the big deal?"
"The big deal?", Logan snorted. "The big deal is that our fans are writing homoerotic fanfiction about us James! Do they really think we're gay?"
"What?" James shrugged. "It's kinda hot."
The three other boys could've sworn they heard crickets chirping, that's how awkward it was.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that", Logan said slowly.
"No, really!", James insisted a little bit too excitedly for Logan's taste. "You should check it out. Here!" He reached for the laptop and started scrolling through the pages. "There are some awesome writers out there once you know what to look for. Most of the slash stories are just about us four but in every possible composition. Like James/Kendall, Carlos/Logan or Kendall/Carlos."
"Eww, gross!", Carlos whined and pushed Kendall who sat next to him further away.
James acted like he didn't hear his comment. "Those names like Kogan or Jarlos are our names mixed together. Like for example Jagan means James-slash-Logan." He turned towards the other boys who stared at him incredulously. "I don't know why you're all so upset. Can you really blame them for this kind of stories?" He shook his head slightly. "I mean, seriously, four hot guys living in one apartment? Like that wouldn't make the rumours spread like plague?"
"I... I have to say that... um..." Logan agonized for the right words. "It... kind of makes sense. I guess...", he finished slowly.
James rolled his eyes. "Oh please. And you call yourself the smart one." Logan blushed slightly and looked down.
Carlos only laughed in response. "You think we're hot?"
"Carlos", James stated while looking at him seriously. "I know that we're hot."
"B-but..." When they looked towards the source of the sputtering they saw Kendall pointing an accusing finger at himself and James in turn, his eyes still widened in shock and disbelief. "But- I... we... never fucking gonna happen!" He sounded kind of angry now since James didn't seem to get his point.
The taller brunette threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. "Nobody said it was going to happen Kendork! Calm down a bit, geez!"
"Yeah", Carlos admitted. "It's kind of nice to read that stuff, you know. Gives you a cuddly feeling."
Logan groaned and face-palmed. "I can't believe this!"
"Aww come on!", James mocked. "Loosen up a little Logie!"
The smaller brunette huffed in annoyance. "Oh for the love of... okay, you know what? Okay. Okay! I'm gonna give it a try." He sat down next to Carlos, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "I need new friends" under his breath and started reading along with him. James grinned and patted his shoulder before grabbing his own laptop and going on the same website the other boys were looking at.
Kendall stared at them dumbstruck, his jaw nearly dropping on the floor. He could not believe his eyes right now.
"Um... hello?" He waved a hand frantically in front of their faces. "Am I the only sane person left in here?"
James rolled his eyes. "No. You're the only prude person left in here." He patted the space next to him on the bed. "Now get your ass over here and read with me."
Kendall shook his head in bewilderment before giving himself a shove and scuffling over to his friends. He sat on the bed and looked over the brunette's shoulder at the screen with, he had to admit it, growing interest.
"Haha, here's a good one!", James exclaimed after a few moments while giggling loudly. "It's about Kendall fucking me against Gustavo's table. While Logan's in there too. And in graphic detail."
"Oh HELL no!", Kendall yelped and crawled over to Carlos. "I guess I'm gonna read with you rather than James, Carlitos."
Carlos just smirked. "Are you sure? I bet there's some good Kenlos out there for you too, baby." The Latino wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Kendall just rolled his eyes at him. "I can't take that serious when I see you sleeping in your dinosaur pj's every night." He glanced at James and shuddered. "But with him... I better not sleep with my door unlocked for a week."
"Damn right you do!", James shouted from across the room where he was still searching for new stories.
Kendall shook his head. "Like I'd ever want a horny James Diamond around. You're bad enough when you're like this."
Carlos laughed at that. "Prude", he muttered amusedly. Kendall shot him a glare, but then snickered as well.
"Well, I prefer being a prude over being a horndog like Jamie-boy over there."
The tall brunette shrugged. „I don't think you-" He stopped dead in his sentence and leaned forward slightly towards his screen where something must have caught his interest. "Oh... Ooooh, Logan, I never knew you were that kinky," James piped up with a smirk while his eyes still flitted across the screen of his laptop.
Logan bent over his shoulder to get a look at what he was reading. He snorted as soon as he found what James was referring to.
"Oh come on. Spanking? Really?"
The second he said it a hand landed hard on his butt. He yelped in surprise as he shot up from the bed and whipped around to find a very cocky looking Kendall and Carlos doubling over in laughter.
"Stop it!" Logan yelled, face red and practically fuming which only made Carlos laugh harder.
Kendall nodded smugly. "Yep, I could totally imagine that."
Logan glared daggers at him.
"Oh yeah? Well, let's see what we can find about you then." He sat down at his own laptop, typed in the name of the fanfiction website and started scrolling through the stories.
Kendall lay back on his bed and put his hands behind his head. "Come on, like you'd have to search for anything. It's pretty obvious that I top in each and every relationship as far as I'm involved. I mean, look at me!"
Logan only quirked an eyebrow in response. For someone who was acting so discrete only a few minutes ago his blonde friend went pretty far out on a limb.
"Whoa, don't get too full of yourself, dude", James butted in. "Because everyone knows that James Diamond is the lady's – and apparently even gentleman's (He winked at Logan who flipped him off in return) – man."
Kendall laughed. "Oh come on James. I could dominate you every day."
Awkward silence followed that statement.
"Umm... okaaay, that didn't sound weird at all", Logan said after a few moments and then went back to looking up stories.
"Well I wouldn't blame him for wanting to tap that!" James lifted his shirt and did this stupid washboard-abs dance of his while making equally stupid noises.
"James. Knock it off.", Logan said calmly while shoving James' butt that the other had been shaking accidentally right in his face during his dance away from him.
"Aww, c'mon Logie, don't act like you don't like it." The other teased while plopping down next to his friend again. Suddenly James leaned far into his comfort zone and whispered in a voice so low it would've been ridiculous... if it wasn't so hot. "I read that you like watching me when I get out of the pool. That you can barely restrain yourself from licking the water off my abs. Makes you so hot." He faked a heavy breath into Logan's ear to intensify his words.
The elder blushed a deep crimson and shoved him away. "Shut up James!"
"Oooh! So it's true!", James shouted and did a little victory dance. "Logan luuuvers my body!"
"And that gets you excited because...?", Kendall asked suspiciously and grinned when James stopped dead in his tracks and blushed lightly underneath his tan.
"It doesn't! It just proves that neither women nor men can resist the Diamond charm."
"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that pretty boy." Kendall waved dismissively in his direction.
"You're just jealous!" James stuck his tongue out. Kendall snickered.
"Of what? Your arrogance?"
"The fact that I would totally make you cry in bed."
Kendall looked challenging all of the sudden.
"And what makes you think that?"
Just as James opened his mouth to speak he was interrupted by Logan's laughter.
"I got one!", Logan said between giggles. He looked smugly at Kendall. "Listen up Kendork, Mr 'I could dominate you every day'"
Logan cleared his throat before starting to read out loud.
"Kendall struggled against the chains that held him to the bed when his boyfriend trailed a hand across his happy trail.
'Are you sure you want to do this?', Logan said, a little self-conscious in this new position. He didn't usually top, so this was something new and exciting but also slightly scary. Even though he had been asked to do this he didn't want to overburden his boyfriend.
'Fuck, yes!', Kendall gasped wantonly while he thrust his hips into the air shallowly, desperately trying to get some friction. 'I need it! So bad!'
Logan smirked as he grabbed hold of Kendall's leaking member, receiving a sigh of relief only to take his hand away after the first stroke. His boyfriend cried out sharply at that action.
'No! Logie, please! Touch me!'
'That's right, beg for it, bitch', Logan growled while slapping the other's thigh. Kendall had no idea where this side of Logan came from all of the sudden, but he loved it to no end. Who would have known being submissive felt so exhilarating?
'Please!', he screamed. 'Fuck me! Do me rough! I need your cock inside me! Please, I...'"
"Alright, that's enough", Kendall yelled, his face a dark shade of red.
"Aww... Just when it was getting good", Carlos said while laughing his butt off.
"So you're into bondage, Kenny?", James teased. "That's so classic it's almost kinda cute."
Kendall slapped him upside the head while Carlos snorted.
"Don't be ridiculous. Like Logan ever had that in him."
At that Logan turned towards his friend ever so slowly, eyes pitch black all of the sudden and growling low in his throat before speaking in a voice that seemed to have dropped three octaves.
"Oh, you have no idea."
Kendall and James stopped their argument upon hearing him and looked first at Logan then at Carlos who seemed to be in a trance while he eyed Logan like prey would eye its chaser.
The elder broke their intense staring first and turned back around to look up more stories, acting as normal as ever. Carlos blinked a couple of times before his gaze focused on Logan again. He exhaled deeply and put a hand over his heart as if he was trying to calm its rapid beating.
"Whoa, that was intense dude!", he exclaimed. "Where'd you learn that?"
Logan turned towards him again, innocence written all over his features again. None of the guys fell for it anymore. "Learn what?"
Carlos pointed a finger at Logan and himself in turn. "Well, that!"
The smaller smirked and shrugged while his eyes got a dangerously sexy glint to them. "I'm a natural, I guess." Carlos nearly bounced in his seat with excitement.
"That is, like, SO COOL! You need to teach me!"
"Umm... guys? I think James is having a heart attack or something." Kendall's slightly worried voice brought their attention to James who stood visibly shaking on his spot, his head bowed down. Logan grinned.
"Aww, what's wrong Jamesie?" Logan sounded strangely smug and challenging. "Lost your tongue all of the sudden?"
James' head shot up and he glared at Logan, his dark hazel eyes filled with something that Kendall recognized as... lust? What the hell?
"You know damn well what is wrong, Logie", James shot back through gritted teeth. His balled fists were still shaking while the rest of his body seemed to relax slightly again. Logan strutted over to the tallest member of the band and pulled him down by the collar.
"No I don't", he whisper-hissed, their faces mere centimetres apart so Kendall and Carlos didn't hear him. "Maybe you should show me." Logan pulled away and winked before turning away from him again. James growled.
"That's it!" He grabbed Logan by his shoulder and pushed him up against the closest wall, pressing his own body flush against him. "You fucking asked for it." And with that he pressed his mouth on Logan's, forcefully parting his lips with his tongue and started kissing him with all he had. The smaller could only moan loudly in response and fisted his hands in James' shirt while kissing him back with just as much fervour.
Carlos' and Kendall's jaws nearly dropped through the floor. Not only were their best STRAIGHT friends getting it on in their room, no, they also seemed to have done it multiple times before judging by the way their lips worked against each other.
"A-are they... they can't be... oh m-my gosh!", Carlos stuttered once he found his speech again.
Kendall was still silent until suddenly the words burst out of him.
"What the FUCK is going on?"
James and Logan jumped away from each other, both panting heavily.
"Oh", Logan squealed and blushed. His shirt was already halfway up his chest. When he noticed the staring he pulled it down quickly. "Car-...Carlos and Kendall!" Logan laughed nervously. "Totally forgot you were here."
"Yyyeaah", Carlos said slowly. "That wasn't too hard to tell."
"So... Logie", James said seductively. Embarrassment seemed to just roll off of him. "You wanted to help me with my..." He cleared his throat suggestively. "Maths homework."
When the other caught on he blushed an even darker shade of red. "Um, yeah... homework. Homework's important." He couldn't say much more because James grabbed his arm and dragged him off toward their own shared room.
"Hey lovebirds! You forgot your books in here", Kendall shouted after them, amusement evident in his voice.
"Fuck the books!", he heard James yell back. "We're just gonna deal with practical exercise!"
As soon as Carlos and Kendall heard the door slam shut down the corridor they broke out into a huge laughing fit.
"Oh... oh my god!", Kendall gasped, tears shining in his eyes from all the laughter. "P-Practical exercise. That beats every stupid remark he's ever said. By far."
"I'm gonna have t-terrible nightmares", Carlos squealed in amusement, clutching his stomach with both hands, still shaken by the aftershocks of his hysterical laughter. "The fangirls would go crazy if they ever saw this."
Kendall giggled once again, but this time it was more serious. "Yeah, thank god nobody will ever know about this. We won't ever tell anybody, deal?"
Carlos nodded. "Deal."
Me: *gulps and runs away with camera in hand* Yeah, thank god indeed. Muahahahahaharrr!… Damn, this is great Youtube footage!
The boys: *appear out of nowhere*
Me: Aaaaah! *stumbles backwards and falls to the ground dramatically*
James: Delete the video. Now!
Me: *clutches camera to her chest* NEVER!
Kendall: *pulls out hockey stick*
Me: Here. *gives him the camera*
The boys: *walk away whistling* *James' hand seems to be attached to Logan's ass as they walk, but we can never be sure... cough cough*
Me: *mutters* I'm still gonna write fanfiction about this... These dorks won't know what hit them *evil snicker*
The boys: WE HEARD THAT!
The End
Okay, so the ending sucked. I dunno, I just had absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA how to end this one-shot... So I settled for this very lame very stupid very ridiculous solution. Oh well... I hope this story made you laugh though. Huh? It didn't? Um... Maybe just giggle? No? But it made you smile, right? Maybe only a little bit? It didn't? DARN IT! … Oh well. Leave me a review and tell me what you think :) Love you!