This is a collection of 19 prompts I filled for Milady/Milord's fic battle last week. Thanks to eleventhipala, mustbethursday3, crittab, claymay83/Hypnotoad76, shli1117, AllVowels, _carly_, ror123, sinecure, greta_garbo and rashaka for their ideas.
Warning: Prompts 4, 10 and 17 are NC-17.
Prompt 1: eleventhipala: Jeff and Annie are hired to play a prince and princess at a cheesy theme park. (Fluff/Humor) Rated PG.
"You realize I'm taking this off the second this is over, right?" Jeff reminded Annie while chaffing in his stuffy, non color-coordinated prince costume. "Maybe even a few minutes before that?"
"Well, then you'd be arrested for public nudity, wouldn't you?" Annie quipped back in her far too color coordinated princess costume. "And it's not like you could defend yourself in court."
Since Annie had her playful smirk on and not her serious, cutting-Jeff-to pieces smirk, he let that slide. Besides, he couldn't yell at her while they were in this theme park. It already forced them to play this prince/princess routine, so one false move would get them recast as frogs.
"Annie, this costume wasn't meant for this temple," Jeff gestured to himself. He had to do something other than look lame in this red tux and these white pants. White, for God's sake!
"This isn't that comfy for me too, but you don't see me being a royal b," Annie gestured to her sky blue princess dress.
"If that means royal babe, you're too late," Jeff said a split second before he stopped himself.
These poorly colored clothes must have made that slip. Surely. After all, Annie's perfect, gorgeous clothes and her usual perfect, gorgeous looks must have.…aw damn it. With that, Jeff just sighed and modified his statement.
"What I mean is, I'm glad no one will be laughing at me. Since they'll be too busy being wowed by you. And…..I might join them."
Okay, that was too much. But as usual, one bright smile from Annie made that not feel so bad. And a smile from Princess Annie was just….something else.
Annie then offered her arm, and Jeff took it as they went to their lame show. Her temporary prince still planned to take off his costume right afterwards. But only after his princess took off hers.
Prompt 2: mustbethursday3: Abed's Behavioural Science experiment goes wrong - Now, Annie can read Jeff's mind, Jeff can read Pierce's mind (lol), Pierce can read Britta's mind, Britta can read Chang's mind, Chang can read Shirley's mind, Shirley can read the Dean's mind...and poor Troy has no idea what's going on! Rated PG-13.
"Well, this should get me out of Abed's movie shoots forever." Of course Annie could finally read Jeff's mind, and of course that's what she hears. So much for the bright side of everyone reading the other's thoughts thanks to Abed's…..Behavioural Science thing.
"Come on, where's the girl on girl stuff in that brain of yours, Britta? I'll take two full frontal Jeff scenes if you give me 10 Britta/Shirley shots! Happy now?" As if it was possible for Jeff to be less happy to read Pierce's mind.
"I know there's some evil white man billionaire to blame for this. Fake God, please bring him out here so I don't start punching Abed!" Pierce swore if he didn't see Britta/Abed action in Britta's brain in two minutes, he'd demand his money back.
"What doesn't kill you makes you Chang-er! Chang a little taller! Doesn't mean I'm Chang-ly when I'm alone!" Britta could barely listen to Chang's brain sing another minute – at least as long as he was Chang-ing up Kelly Clarkson.
"Lord, I swear I'll never beg you to let the group slide into Heaven again! They can burn just as you planned! Just make it stop!" Boring! For someone Chang couldn't remember banging, he thought Shirley would have hotter material. Now he'd need some Taylor Swift to pep up these thoughts.
"Dean-tastrophe! Dean-quake! Dean-mare on Dean street! Yeah, one of those Deans this up!" God, if Shirley had to listen to 20 more Dean puns, she'd hug Satan with open arms!
"Ew! Jeff- I mean, Pierce!" Annie cried out loud. So Jeff could project Pierce's thoughts through to Annie. Abed knew this was the most interesting part of this experiment by far.
"I don't get it! This only has as many layers as Insomnia, and I still don't get it!" Troy's brain cried – and still no one heard his brain tears.
Prompt 3: crittab: Annie and Jeff find an old map in the school library and work together to find out where it leads. Any rating, any genre + humour. Rated PG-13.
Why did Jeff let Annie talk him into these things?
He didn't know when Annie showed him a map she found in the library. Or when she thought it might lead to secret treasure, or old artifacts, or first drafts of famous novels. But she did suggest there might be valuable suits in this treasure too.
Maybe that played some part in Jeff going with her to follow this map, but that couldn't be it. Even a treasure of suits wasn't worth going through the coldest room of the Air Conditioning Repair Annex – while wearing the least flattering parka imaginable. Yet Jeff did it anyway.
But he had no clue why he went through the air vents, with Annie's Boobs screeching in the background. That wouldn't even be worth seeing Annie's real boobs – although trailing behind her ass was a nice consolation.
Still, that didn't bail out how they had to face Leonard's gang to get a shovel, and Jeff couldn't even use a death joke with that one. Yet Annie bribing them with candy was a nice touch.
Jeff still questioned why he did this even as they reached the "x" on the map – although Annie's glee did make his head quiet down a bit. Then they dug into the lawn, hit pay dirt, found a treasure chest and broke it open.
Only to see a very early draft of "Dean Dangerous" – with instructions to read only after it became a blockbuster movie starring Jeff's even hotter clone. And once Jeff peeked anyway and nearly bust a gut laughing, he knew why this was worth it.
Yet he felt guiltier when Annie looked disappointed. But then she forged a smile anyway and genuinely laughed when she flipped through the script, only less mockingly. As this made Jeff reflect on how today wasn't so bad – even before finding this treasure – he had a somewhat better idea why he did this.
However, when he asked Annie to read the rest of it with him over coffee, he knew why he did that right away.
Prompt 4: crittab: Jeff and Annie attend a carnival and have sexy times on the ferris wheel. NC-17, humour/smut. Rated NC-17.
Jeff wasted hundreds of dollars on his last carnival trip, all over Britta's ex boyfriend. For his return trip, he was more careful in spending money on his new girlfriend Annie – aside from the 60 dollars he used up before winning her that purple bear in the ring toss. Fortunately, it didn't cost as much to get them onto the ferris wheel next.
Annie sat next to Jeff's right and snuggled with him and her new teddy bear. "Thank you so much again, Jeff," Annie cooed while snuggling both. "I'm sure Ruthie and Nathan will make Jefferson feel right at home."
"Jefferson? How subtle," Jeff said bemusedly, yet with affection mixed in. However, since that blasted bear cost him 60 bucks, he figured it didn't need to steal his girlfriend's attention here too. He nearly wore out his arm winning her that bear. However, it was only his right arm.
As Jeff noticed Annie's bare uncrossed legs, he wondered what his left arm could get away with. Probably things that a bear couldn't.
To test it, Jeff slid a finger onto Annie's knee, then another, then slid the whole hand above the knee. "Jeff, what are you…." Annie trailed off as his hand dipped underneath her skirt. He waited until they were higher up before dipping a finger against her panties, which made Annie struggle not to gasp. Jeff then used his right hand to take "Jefferson" and turn him around so he couldn't see them.
That cute attention to detail relaxed Annie, as Jeff put his right arm around her and rubbed his left hand against her panties. Annie buried her face into his chest to hide her groans and her blushing – then impulsively shoved her hand into Jeff's pants before he knew it. But Jeff couldn't hide his face and how it twisted up, although he tried like hell to.
Somehow, they were able to masturbate each other and not get noticed as the ferris wheel kept going up and down. Somehow, Jeff's squeals over being pleasured by Annie were almost as comical as her's. And somehow, they focused enough to bring each other near the finish before the final spin.
But when Jeff curled his finger into Annie just right, and Annie tightened her grip on Jeff's cock just hard enough, the both of them lost it as they reached the top one last time. As such, they could nearly breathe again, wipe their dirty hands off on each other and pull them out by the time they were let out.
Unfortunately, Annie left Jefferson behind in the process, which meant they had to ride the wheel again to get him back.
But Jeff already knew there were far worse ways to spend time at a carnival. And with far worse, less handy people.
Maybe once they found Jefferson, he'd reward them by not peeking as Jeff got back to second base. It was the least that bear could do.
Prompt 5: allvowels: Troy has hung up mistletoe in the hopes of kissing Britta. Jeff and Annie get stuck under it instead. Rated PG-13.
Troy actually had something fool proof all planned out. And he wouldn't Britta this one because it was for Britta.
First he'd lead her over the kitchen and be surprised when they wound up under the mistletoe. Then Britta would go on one of her Britta rants about dead trees and misbiology or something. But after he kissed her, she'd probably go ahead and let a bunch of trees die. The Na'vi would let it slide for love….right? Right?
But Troy panicked over the wrath of Eywa a bit too long. While he wasn't looking, Annie was at the kitchen trying not to run into Shirley, who was in full on baking mode. Yet Jeff narrowly got Annie out of the way – only to wind up with them both under the mistletoe.
And none of them might have noticed it if not for Britta. "Ha, so that poor tree died for your sins, then," she began as Jeff and Annie finally looked up. Troy then finally noticed just as Britta continued, "How nice that an act of woodland murder occurred, just so you two would finally get it on."
Before Annie or Troy could gasp in their respective high pitches, both had their gasps stuck in their throats. Annie's was stifled when Jeff pulled her over and kissed her square on the lips. Troy's was stuck when he realized that Britta just Britta'd her own kiss with him.
"Don't worry, we shall honor that brave tree's sacrifice every day," Jeff said melodramatically after breaking the kiss. Luckily, Britta was still in ranting over tree murder mode and Shirley was still in baking mode – and Troy was lost in his mourning over no kiss with Britta mode – so no one commented on the Jeff/Annie kiss itself.
The first one to speak up on it was Annie, who shyly muttered, "So….that was a…unique way to quiet Britta down….for five seconds," while fighting a blush.
"Well, that was the second best side effect," Jeff commented. And now that Britta wasn't paying attention, Annie didn't question Jeff's motives when he kissed her under the mistletoe again.
Their only audience was Troy, whose eyes and jaw just kept widening. Even if he talked Britta down, they would never be able to match that weirdly hot show!
Jeff and Annie just had to JeffandAnnie that too.
Prompt 6: claymay83: Annie and Jeff show up to the study room. Annie had a bruise on her cheek and Jeff had scratch marks on his arms. The group thinks Jeff's beating Annie, when in reality they got hurt having sex. Rated PG-13.
The group barely noticed that Jeff had come to the study room with Annie lately, although he was now getting there on time. But they certainly noticed them one particular morning.
"Annie, my God!" Britta actually called when she saw the bruise on her cheek. The rest of the group soon surrounded Annie and ignored Jeff, which was probably for the best.
"Heh, that's just makeup for our next movie, right?" Troy nervously asked. "Wait a minute….we aren't doing fight scenes for 10 days! 10 DAYS!" he screamed in panic as usual, with some anger mixed in this time.
"Well, what the HELL, Winger?" Britta spat at Jeff and grabbed his arm, until he actually flinched. With that, Britta forcibly rolled up his sleeves and ignored Jeff's whining about getting wrinkles on his shirt. But she did take some satisfaction to see scratch marks all over his arms – at least Annie fought back a little first. And now Britta could rip the rest of his skin off for her.
"Yeah, they're fine and so are my sleeves, thanks for your concern," Jeff said at the absolute worst time.
"Jeffrey, out of respect for our former friendship, I can kill you quickly in the name of the Lord. Or just leave you in a coma in the name of the Lord. You got FIVE seconds to choose, okay?" Shirley offered.
"Wait, time out here! What are you threatening to kill Jeff for?" Annie inquired.
"Oh God, she's already got the Stockholm Syndrome! As a licensed psych major, I-" Britta got out before getting cut off later than expected.
"You can get me off on temporary insanity for beating him like he beat Annie, I know! We'll discuss the other getting off stuff when I'm done!" Pierce proposed.
"Pierce, are you crazy….ier? Are ALL of you? Jeff did NOT…..lay a hand on me!" Annie angry-whispered. "We just, um….we…." she trailed off for some reason.
"Jeff and Annie got hurt having sex," Abed finally chimed in. "My guess is she scratched his arms during the act, and she banged her cheek from making love in an unconventional position."
"Oh, that old act!" Pierce exclaimed. "Geez, if that was all, just brag about it like normal perverts!"
"Pierce! And Abed!" Annie chided. "We could have set them straight without….full disclosure!"
"Maybe, but letting domestic violence themes play out in a comedy program jumps too many sharks for comfort," Abed explained. "Our exploits haven't sunk to that historic low point yet."
"No, no. You guys thinking I would ever lay a hand on Annie, that's a barrel of laughs!" Jeff spat out. "But if you guys think I could do that, especially to my Annie, maybe I should try some new funny stuff right now!"
"Jeff, no! I'm furious at them too, but that'll just make it worse!" Annie yelled out. "I'm angry, you're angry, so let's find other ways to get this anger out together! Then we can yell at them!"
And then it took just two seconds for a furious Jeff and Annie to take hands and storm out of the study room. The group was then left stewing in their own guilt and shame for assuming what they did, and couldn't see a way to relieve it.
Then Britta realized, "Oh my God, they're having sex!" about a few minutes too late, and some normalcy – and gossip opportunities – was restored. Which was at least more normal than what Jeff and Annie were up to in the nearest bathroom.
Prompt 7: mustbethursday3: Greendale has a secret society that wants to recruit Annie, Jeff, and Abed. They won't take no for an answer. Rated PG.
Greendale had so many cults and weird societies, Jeff could barely keep them straight. He barely remembered what this one was about, except that it had black Stalins and rambled about the initials TBS for some reason. All he knew was they wouldn't stop bugging him, Annie and Abed about joining them, even when they kept saying no.
Even when they put black bags over their heads and dragged them to some dark room, Jeff just rolled his eyes and waited for them to get this over with. Their leader rambled on about the glory of TBS in some cougar mask, and Jeff tuned him out along with Annie and Abed's protests.
His interest briefly peaked when they rolled out a collection of Kickpuncher DVDs – all the Kickpuncher DVDs in every video store within 100 miles, according to them – and threatened to break them all unless Abed joined. His high pitched squeals certainly kept Jeff from tuning out as well after that.
Annie tried to calm Abed down, and Jeff focused on the Kickpuncher DVDs instead of her stroking Abed's face. This made Jeff notice sooner that they were rolling out a collection of Jane Austen books, which they then threatened to rip apart in front of Annie. Her distressed cries and pleas for mercy nearly got as loud as Abed's before Jeff finally chimed in.
"Okay, you clearly won't take no for an answer and you know how to break us, good. But that doesn't mean we're going to give in to this Greendale insanity! Because we-"
Yet Jeff's Winger speech was stopped dead in its tracks when they rolled out a whole collection of the finest Italian suits he'd ever seen. Then the monsters dared to put a lit match near the rack.
Well, maybe wearing a cougar mask wouldn't go so badly with those suits.
Prompt 8: shli1117: While helping Abed out with one of his films, Jeff and Annie find themselves handcuffed to each other for hours on end because the key has been misplaced (or so Abed says). Rated PG-13.
"He did this on purpose," Jeff insisted yet again.
"Jeff, stop being paranoid!" Annie insisted again, waving her right hand although it was still handcuffed to Jeff's left hand. "Abed's going to find the key right now! Why would he be looking if he wanted us to get handcuffed for real?"
"You live with the lunatic and you still don't get how his mind works?" Jeff questioned. "So you really don't think it was weird he had us act in these handcuffs in the first place?"
"We're playing escaped convicts, Jeff! If you read the script for more than a few minutes, you'd have remembered!" Annie insisted.
"Oh, I remember. I remember how he conveniently said he lost the key! Leaving aside how he's too anal retentive to forget anything on his precious sets!" Jeff made himself ignore how Annie looked embarrassed at the word 'anal' since he had a point to finish. "Let alone to forget it for hours and leave us stuck here on purpose!" he gestured inside the still empty Casa de Trobed.
"And what purpose might that be, Jeff?" Annie wanted to know – or do anything other than sit here and argue unproductively.
"Isn't it obvious? He's putting us through a bottle episode!" Jeff stated like it was beyond dispute. "Yeah, he hates them, but even he admitted we need them 'once a season' to cut costs! And he does love bottle episodes where popular 'pairings' get locked up together and resolve their issues in 30 minutes! Come on, this really wasn't obvious to you?"
Annie tried not to dwell on that oversight – then realized a few things she overlooked just now. "So we're a 'popular pairing' who needs to 'work out our issues' in this scenario?" she repeated. "Where would he have gotten that idea?"
"Because he's crazy!" Jeff broke down. "Because he's too obsessed with TV formulas to see reality! Because he doesn't get that some things can't be resolved in a bottle episode! Because he's too blind to realize this shouldn't be 'fixed' and it'll only ruin everyone if it does! Because he thinks if I said I liked you at the end, it'd be great TV instead of the thing that ruins your life, and kills me forever for ruining it! Like I said, he's crazy!" He finished just as he realized what he actually said.
Annie just stayed silent for a while, then let out, "Well, that is crazy. Maybe not the way you said it, though."
"Annie, I didn't…..you have to know….if you really thought about it…." But without the ability to just say "Here's the thing" and then leave, or pat Annie's head without then getting away, Jeff could not make a graceful escape or excuse. And under Annie's glare, he knew he wouldn't think of a better one.
"Clearly we're both gonna be here for a while," Annie reasoned. "So why don't I get us something to eat, and then you can finally let me poke some holes in your theories. That could make for a good two-part episode right there."
Jeff had nowhere better to go that he could get to alone. And after arguing with himselffor years on why he couldn't be with Annie, maybe adding Annie herself to the conversation would be a twist. Who knows? Perhaps her arguments could shake up a stagnant, repetitive – and frankly, increasingly annoying and unfulfilling – plotline.
As Jeff followed Annie to the kitchen for food and talk, the hidden camera on the dresser drawer caught the shot perfectly – at least from Abed's perspective in the live feed on his phone. This might just be the shot in the arm the bottle episode formula needed after all.
Prompt 9: _carly_: Jeff & Annie try out a new class - Introduction to Ladders. Rated PG-13.
This is what Annie got for swearing to take one blow off class as a New Years resolution.
This was her punishment for wanting any part of her final semester at Greendale to be less than stimulating. True, Introduction to Ladders would be the easiest A she ever got, but she wanted the pretense of being challenged for it.
Of course Jeff wasn't that nitpicky, as he just sat back, played with his phone and reveled in blowing off more than usual. Yet this made Annie giggle a bit when the teacher called Jeff over to climb a double sided ladder. But her smirk was removed when the teacher chose her to hold the ladder steady in the meantime.
Keeping it steady meant going on the left side and gripping it – giving Annie a clear view of his crotch as Jeff walked up in front of her on the right side. Her grip shook for a little bit, yet she made sure Jeff didn't fall anyway. He was then instructed to walk to the top, turn around and walk down on the left side. Annie was allowed to see him turn – and get a clear view of his butt – before she had to go across from Jeff and hold down the right side of the ladder.
She indulged in those memories – which was perfectly natural and meant nothing deeper – until it was her turn to climb the ladder and Jeff's turn to hold it. Annie then focused on doing this task well and getting her unchallenging A.
But by the time she walked up the ladder, got to the top and then turned to climb down the left side, Annie remembered that Jeff would have the same view of her that she had of him. Only her legs were just covered by stockings, and he had a chance to see a little up her skirt before she came down. Once she realized this, she forced her blush down and climbed down the ladder that Jeff held down perfectly.
Yet when she saw Jeff holding the right side, he wasn't looking back – and his hands were gripping the ladder pretty tightly. What's more, he barely looked at his phone for the rest of class.
Maybe this one last blow off class would have some value.