The New Year
by Franki Lew
Genre: humor
Rating: K
Jack Skellington, Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, and "Nightmare Before Christmas" belong to Tim Burton and Touchstone Pictures. Story and additional holiday characters are all mine and Starsnowflake.
Disclaimer: This was the introduction to my version of whom all the holiday leaders are and their personalities. Their characteristics were largely based after my sister and I's ideas for what the holiday leaders would be in our version of "Oogies Revenge" (which by the way doesn't exist in my universe). The characters your reading about are somewhat unlikable for a reason. These were suppose to be a series of stories about Jack and the other leaders slowly getting along but I had no inspiration. Instead, I'm just posting this single story which I loved to death and I hope you do to.
Santa Claus bumbled about his red and green hallway. "Coming!" he shouted at the continuously chiming doorbell and whoever might be behind it. Usually the two weeks after Christmas were a time for him and his elves to relax. Before they instantly got to work on next year's toys, Santa felt it was only healthy for everyone to take a break. This year it wasn't the case. A very, very important gathering was being held at his address. As the gossiping guests began to get in a fit behind him he could only add to the flames by making room for more.
Santa cautiously opened the door. "Hello-"
"Sandy!" Standing before Ole' Saint Nick was a thin, pumpkin-headed skeleton. His bony face bursting with enthusiasm. Jack Skellington was his name and he was in charge of causing terror on Halloween Night. Despite his chilling demeanor and behavior most of the year he was very fond of Santa Claus and his profession.
"Good evening Jack. I'm glad you could make it."
"Of course I would," Jack said. "So tell me Sandy Claws did you have a terrible Christmas?"
"You can call me Santa Claus you know," Santa said irritated by Jack's inability to pronounce his name. He should be more thankful, after all Jack was the one that brought all the holidays together. Then again considering just how he did so maybe it wasn't something to thank him for…
"Why don't we get down to business and meet the others?" Santa insisted walking past the kitchen where his wife, Mrs. Claus, was baking cookies. She spotted Jack and gave a friendly call.
"Hello Mr. Skellington!"
Having a short attention span Jack sneaked right out of Santa's reach and up to Mrs. Claus. Though he would terrify any normal woman, Mrs. Claus had gotten to know Jack enough to where she ignored his appearance and occupation. She treated his antics like that of a visiting son-in-law.
"Good Evening Mrs. Sandy Claws!" Jack said standing next to her.
"I see you're here for the New Years party?"
"Jessica we don't have time to chat," Santa said addressing his wife by name.
"Oh really Kris we're not doing anything wrong," she said then motioned to Jack. "And people call him a jolly ole' elf."
"Jessica!"
Jack saw the situation taking a wrong turn and decided to intervene. "Sandy has a point Mrs. Claws. After all I'm thrilled to meet the other holiday leaders as it is. "
Mrs. Claus gave Jack a nervous look. "Oh…of course you are. I shouldn't stall you two. Before leaving tonight tell Sally I said hello won't you Jack?"
"Of course," Jack said. Santa led Jack to the den where the main party was going on, all while Jack had to crowtch down in a house made for relatively short people. There was very little spectacle outside of a banner and a tray of appetizers on the coffee table. But none of that peeked Jack's interest. Sitting apart from him on a sofa and a rocking chair were a turkey and rabbit. The rabbit had pink fur and beady eyes. It's feet and ears were incredibly large and floppy. All it sported for clothes were a sash that read 'Happy Easter' on its chest. The rabbit wasn't looking at any of the leaders in the room, it was to busy hiding an egg in the crooks of the sofa.
"Would you please stop that?" insisted the turkey.
"Oh…s-s-sorry about that. I didn't mean it, natural impulse and all," the rabbit said in a very high-pitched voice.
"Sunny Jumpers," said Santa, "I would like you to meet Jack Skellington."
Jack remembered accidentally capturing this very Easter Bunny years ago. "Say, I remember you."
When the Easter Bunny turned to face Jack it screeched like it had been killed for hasenpfeffer. "Augh! No! Not you! Oh lord! Oh mercy! Oh save me please!" Jack watched the rabbit's mental breakdown uncomfortably. "I'll give you anything you want just please don't eat me. Please!"
"I-I won't eat you," Jack insisted.
"Yes you will! I remember what your little minions said on the way back home, 'oh I wish Mr. Oogie could cook this one up'. I'll never forget! Never!"
Santa looked at Jack suspiciously until he explained. "Do you remember that incident where I kidnapped you to take over your holiday Sandy? Well…I sort have got this one by mistake first. I never thought about how much it scarred him until now."
The rabbit s stopped shaking and pricked up its ears. "Excuse me? Him? Not only are you evil but you're insensitive! I am a doe for you information."
Jack looked at her questionably. "You're a female deer?"
"No, I'm a female rabbit!" the Easter Bunny insisted in a very stern, non-nervous voice.
"Oh!" Jack said in embarrassment, "please forgive me Miss I couldn't tell at first glance. Plus…well…I only figured…"
"That the Easter Bunny has to be male?" she asked. Jack looked down at his feet cautiously, pretending he didn't think so. "I've had enough. If you need me I'll be outside trying to cool off."
Santa and Jack watched the Easter bunny exit the room as the turkey sat up. "Women, you know how they can be. So sensitive to every little thing that has to do with their appearance. Take a look at me, I'm plenty fat but I'm proud of it. No turkey in the world can look as prestigious as I."
It was now that both leaders had a good look at the turkey now that the subject of appearance had been brought up. His head was small and covered in bumpy red skin. His feathers showed off every possibly autumn related color there was. Red, orange, yellow, brown, black, white, crimson, maroon, pale orange, yellow green, amber, apricot, peach, and burgundy all twisted into shapes of spirals, spheres, and eyes. Despite his association with a purely American holiday, his mannerism and apparel was very British. He wore a bow tie, a monocle, and spats. Peeking from behind said monocle were two bulbous googely eyes watching the leaders with a suspicious glare.
"I don't think I fully know you," Jack admitted. "What's your name?"
"King Heracio Ugustass Butterball Waddle, King Butterball for short. Ruler of the Pilgrim and Native American's of Thanksgiving town and star of the Thanksgiving Day parade. My great grandfather was there on the first official Thanksgiving. He stayed with the villagers as a good luck charm and ever since then I do the same," Butterball said. "Though I must admit, I'm not familiar with you either."
"I am Jack Skellington!" Jack said very proudly. "Pumpkin King and ruler of Halloween? How have you not heard of me? I'm iconic, I've haunted and terrified to many souls to count. The living quake at my name."
"Ah yes now I remember. You're the skeleton that started it all weren't you?"
"Yes," Jack said. "Everyone knows just what I did. I'd like to be remembered for something that wasn't so humiliating if you please."
Butterball snuffed the air mockingly. "Good luck at that."
"What?"
"Well I've heard of the 'Legend of Jack Skellington' along with dozens of other monsters, but as a holiday leader you're not all that impressionable."
"Impressionable? How?" Jack demanded.
"Look at Santa Claus or Sunny. When humans think of them they think of their holidays. When they think of their holidays they think of them. You on the other hand are…well just a scary story told any time of the year. Afterall, when I found out about the other holidays 'Pumpkin man' was always left out of my train of thought."
"That's Pumpkin King to you sir!" Jack said getting aggravated. Santa tried to pull him back by the coattail but Jack tugged away. "Everyone knows who I am and what I do. Halloween is my specialty."
"Of course it is. I'm not in the mood to argue with a non-corporeal being. I'll be helping your wife if you need me Santa." Butterball got up from his chair and strutted pass a highly irritated Jack Skellington. "Oh and Jack," he called before leaving, "I know you won't take my words seriously. No one of your attention span probably even heard half of what I was saying." With a sly grin he walked out.
Jack was becoming more and more angry by the second. Santa put a hand on his shoulder in attempt to calm him down or keep him from saying anything else. "No Sandy," Jack said. "I've obviously just haven't met the right guests yet."
Jack walked into the hallway and was startled by two fast creatures.
"Aye watch it!" screamed one of them after bumping right into him. He stopped long enough for Jack to get a decent look at him. It was cherub, a creature that looked like a human baby with wings. He wore nothing but a diaper and sash that read "Happy Valentines Day". His hair was as small and curly as any other bouncy baby boy's should be. But his voice was a voice that should never come out of a child. Sharp and gruff with a Manhattan twang, the cherub put doubt in Jack's mind as to who he might be.
He and the other creature were chasing one another through the halls. They were so fast they looked more like a flash of movement then sentiant beings.
Jack was just as tricky as any other guest at this meeting so he had the upper advantage. He removed his bat bowtie and threw it in front of the sparing leaders. In a mere minute the cherub fell to the ground screaming.
"Bat in my face! Bat in my face!" The bowtie laughed and flew back into Jack's hand.
"Excuse me," Jack said, "are you cupid?"
Cupid stopped shuddering and looked at Jack. "Yeah what's it to ya?"
"I'm Jack Skellington. I'm sure you've heard of me."
"Yeah, yeah you're the dead guy that united all the holidays. You just made me lose em."
"Um…to whom?"
"There ya' are Cupid," said a voice from behind. Jack looked down to see the very creature cupid was chasing. It was a leprechaun with an orange beard and green suit. Nearly everything he had on him was green. Green coat, green hat, green pocket watch, green socks, he was about as green as Jack was black and white. His accent was also ruff, but more comical then Cupid's. He spoke in thick Irish tongue. For the first time that night a person actually greeted him. "Sorry about that ladie. Cupid er' is just as slippery as moss on a toadstool. I felt like giving him a lesson is all."
"Lesson? Ya' stole my money. And look er' Mr. Skellington you wanna stay away from Shamrock here. All he'll do rob you blind and put your worth in his pot o' gold."
Jack shook his head in disagreement. "My kind knows a thing or two about Leprechauns. Our old king preferred them in soup. Anyways Leprechauns don't steal gold they hoard it so I highly doubt-"
"Oh…Jack me' boi I never seen pennies like this."
"What?"
"I can't wait to show them all back home. Why are the pumpkins on these coins?" Shamrock asked with three pumpkin pieces (his town's equivalent of money) in his hand. Jack felt his pocket and found his loose change was missing.
"Hey! How did you do that without me seeing?"
Shamrock winked at him. "I just know how to work em."
Having scared Shamrock silly into giving him back his money's worth, Jack spent the rest of the party sitting by himself. His bat bowtie drooping in anguish. He felt like a fool was made out of him tonight. The others leaders were either afraid of him or picked on him. It was astonishing as to how the keepers of such noble, good-hearted holidays could act this way. Mrs. Claus at a point tried her best to assure him it was all the shock of meeting one another but it still didn't help. Before the evening was done Santa Claus came up to him.
"I'm sorry this isn't going just how you planned Jack," he said. "I believe I've met someone who you might like however."
"No thank you Sandy. Honestly I'd just like to go home," Jack said. "I've been humiliated enough."
Santa was astonished. Never in the time he knew Jack did he want to leave Christmas Town for any reason. Santa was usually annoyed by Jack's enthusiasm, but seeing the Pumpkin King upset was not pleasant either. Determined to change his mind he urged the skeleton to get up.
"It's one final guest I promise you," he said. The skeleton stood up and let Santa lead him into the other room. Another guest was there in fact. He was very tall, almost as tall as Jack even. He wore a blue jacket and white and red striped pants. His hat, tie, and even socks were decorated with white stars. He had curly white beard and an American flag in his hand. "Jack, this is Uncle Sam. He's a representative of the Independence day world and leader of one of its holidays."
Jack hesitated even before he caught this man's attention. "Hello Mr. Sam. I'm Jack Skell-"
"Well if it isn't Mr. Skellington. Boy oh boy have I been meaning to see you. I'm Uncle Sam, all for the red white and blue yes I am. I've been meaning to talk to the king of Halloween for quite sometime oh yes, yes, yes, yes," Sam said in the fastest, most vibrant speaking voice Jack had ever heard. Sam was shaking his hand so hard that he felt like warning him in case it'd pop off. "Alright so you may know me. My holiday 4th of July is just three months away from yours. The people of America love Halloween I certainly do oh yes! It's great you and your people do a wonderful job every year."
"Thank you," Jack said nervously. "I'm happy to hear that Mr. Sam."
Butterball walked by and shook his head at Santa. "Oh Mr. Claus your in for it now. You just lit a match to an oil spill."
"Oh don't you be calling me Mr. Sam boy, call me Sam. Everyone calls me Sam. In fact I refuse to call you Mr. Skellington I like Jack. Or Jacko, Or Jacky boy do you like that?"
"Jack's fine."
"Great! Now as I was saying Jack many of people I know have been lighting fire crackers all year round. Especially on Halloween it seems. I was worried about this, sure I was, but something told me not to get stressed as I found the perfect solution. We can make firecrackers on both Halloween and 4th of July! Only we make it different! What'd you think Jacky boy?"
"Why…I'd like that!" Jack said, his bowtie finally pricking back up. "Only I can't relate because I've never seen any fire works being lit on Halloween. I saw them on Christmas but they turned out to not be fire crackers."
"Oh I heard about that Jack. That's so tragic, I can't tell you how many shrunken heads I find year round in my socks so why would kids be so scared if the get one as a present? But don't worry I'm here to make you forget any fears you have about fireworks."
"I'm not afraid of fire works Sam. I light my self on fire every year," Jack said.
"Okay, okay okay, why don't you follow me instead. I know something that will get you to think my way," Sam said pulling Jack out the door and into the Christmas Town Square. Santa, Mrs. Claus and the other holiday leaders all stood outside to watch. "Fire in the hole!" shouted Sam.
"Wait!" Jack said. "Shouldn't you warn Sandy or maybe the elves first before you fire?"
"Oh no worry," Sam said. "I already set out the fireworks over the hill before coming to Christmas Town today."
Jack stood there puzzled to ask why he planted fireworks in someone else's neighborhood. Before he could say anything a smoulding ember traveled across the sky and exploded into a jack-o-lantern making a haunting scream across the holiday village.
"Happy New Year everyone!" shouted Sam vest fully. "I hope you enjoyed it!"
"We would if it was about all our holidays," Cupid said.
Sam turned to Jack and smiled. "You like it don't you Jacko boy?"
Jack was staring up at the smoky sky in awe. "I…love it!" he said grasping Uncle Sam by the hand. "In fact I dare call it just what I'm looking for Sam. You see, next Halloween I want something incredibly loud to put everyone's hair on end so I'd be honored if you help me with explosives."
"Would I ever," Sam said, "this is the beginning of a glorious friendship Jack."
The two tall gentleman walked back into Santa Claus's house and continued to jabber on about their holiday related plans. Santa watched them and looked up at the clock, smiling as at long last the hand struck 12 and the New Year had begun.
"I knew you'd get along with someone Jack," he said. "Happy New Year."