Choices
Disclaimer: Hello! I am Sheila, and I finally regain my composure to write this imperfect little story, as the way I want it for ages. I'm stuck in school exams nowadays, and almost can't find any time to write down this story. There's no way I am saying that this chapter would be perfect, as this is my first experience to think and come up with those ideas. I don't own Naruto (I wish I could, but the Great Masashi Kishimoto is the one who has rights to write whatever the hell he wants, since he's the mangaka), but I love this series so much, I highly recommend this for you who expecting adventures, drama, and fresh comedies just the way I do. I think Naruto is one of the best series I've ever read in my entire life, thanks to Kishimoto sensei. I'd appreciate all comments and feedback, especially on Grammar side. Okay, enough for chit chats, now let's get started!
Chapter 1
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do
Remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain
Tears of hope run down my skin
Tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die
Remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Remember when it rained
In the water I remain
Looking back the good old days, he maybe miss those memories of laugh and love. Those times when he, for the first time, put his walls down; easily let emotions and affections got through his soul, enlighten his mind and days in so many ways, just like sunbeam shone and glowed beautifully, reach his loneliness and threw them away. But it's over, he thought.
The happiness he felt, the joy he embraced, the love he fought for, dreams he strove for, disappeared altogether from his life because of decisions he has chosen. Dilemma between what he wanted and what he needed. He knew he hurt people who loved him, and menacingly swayed all good things that they brought into him. Almost killed his dearest friends; fought Naruto, made Sakura cried in desperation, broke the bonds that have been created…what a fool…
He thought he wasn't worth the effort. He, at first didn't think that he could be someone they cared about. He knew what loneliness was, very hurtful indeed, but he wasn't going to say so. He couldn't let them easily filled the emptiness that lingered in his heart.
He didn't trust love, since his clan was murdered. By chance or some act of fate, he, Naruto and Sakura destined to passed all trials together, to laughed, cried, and cheered, and to strengthened one of the most powerful bond called friendship.
He was very grateful for that, for unconditional trust they had in him, for all friendship, when they were there to pick up the pieces when he failed…when he left, he knew that it's risky to have them back, didn't want them to be part of his darkness because he didn't want to end up losing them too. That's the most part of himself that he wanted to kill. Fear. Fear to lost everything's precious, fear that has made him the way he was. Now it's coming back to him. The trauma, the conflict, the struggle from within, brought back by emotions…as the moonlight appeared and leaves flew gracefully in the air.
Suddenly he felt his body trembled, as he came to realize where he was. He could assess the situation. The fresh air; the smell of leaves; place where he should belong…Konoha. But the condition was unsettling. He could sense that something's wrong. In the middle of the night, light of moon fell on the street, showed him a view of horror, reminisced him of the most traumatized experience he's ever had. Bodies of people he knew. Blood was everywhere. Panic attacked his head as his hands grip tightened. Where were Naruto and Sakura? Did they survive? Why the hell these things happened? Who the hell did this? Soon he got an answer. He heard those familiar steps, steps which he usually heard in his past. Belonged to someone he adored. His older brother. His childhood hero.
He darted his eyes to the river. There he was.
Itachi showed himself in graceful manner, even tough he stepped on river of blood, casually focused his chakra to the water, made him stood still. His scarlet eye balls were still the same. Cold, brutally freezing anyone who dared to stared. His hair was longer, now it reached his back. He still wore the same Akatsuki robe. He tilted his head a bit, recognized Sasuke who now looked ready to collapse.
"You've failed again, foolish little brother."
It was a big shock. It hit straight to his chest. Sasuke immediately froze, didn't know what to do. Again, just like old times, he was forced to listen while Itachi just enjoyed torturing him.
"What...what the hell do you want?" he gritted his teeth, his voice was squeaked in anger. "Did you kill them all?"
Itachi didn't directly answer. He walked closer to him, his eyes were focused on his brother. Sasuke held a kunai on his left hand, was thinking to strike Itachi down. He gritted his teeth as anger was overwhelming him. Now they were facing each other, face to face, Itachi's face was still emotionless.
"Just like old times, this scene has just proven that you're still powerless. Powerless to protect people that precious you. Powerless to fight for the ones which you love, in reverse, you leave them and let them slowly decay," Itachi said monotonously.
Sasuke looked back at Itachi resentfully. He hated this. He hated the fact that Itachi has just said the truth which haunted him since his parents were murdered. Because it was true.
He failed to prevent horrible things happened to the ones he loved. Emotion and compassion weren't things which he could handle. Since he was alone, people only acknowledged him as the Uchiha prodigy, not the way he really was. No one really saw him as a lonely boy who still needed love and protection. No one really looked at him and saw a broken, fragile boy who haunted by guilt and sorrow for years. No one knew that revenge he's planned was making him crumbling from within.
"You…you don't understand a damn thing! So shut the hell up! What the hell do you know of being someone like me?!" he screamed as hard as he could, while he swung his fist forward to hit Itachi. Itachi dodged it easily, he turned around and try to hit him again. Sasuke caught his fists with his own hands, attempted to make a counter attack. Then, with a swift move, Itachi hit Sasuke with monstrous strength on his stomach, slammed him down to the ground.
He leaned closer, grabbed Sasuke's shirt collar, forced Sasuke to look at him. Their faces were only inches away. Sasuke gasped for breath. Blood was rippling from his mouth.
"Don't ever dream to have your life back whole. Once you've stepped on darkest path, there's no turning back. You can't come home. You really will never find place to be called as home now. You've betrayed them. You'll stay in a world of terror, and there will you remain. You've failed again, and death is waiting for you," Itachi told him darkly in his deep voice.
Sasuke couldn't say a damn thing. His mind was disoriented.
"When the death comes, Sasuke…there you'll find place where you should belong." Without a blink of an eye, Itachi disappeared with a cloud of smoke.
"Shit!" he cursed. His body was deeply wounded. He even couldn't stand up properly. He tried to get back on his feet, but miserably failed. With a sort of desperation, he dragged his body to found his friends. Something struck his mind when he realized he has to make sure that Naruto and Sakura were still alive. While he was dragging his body to bushes nearby, something shiny caught his attention. A head protector. He knew it's belong to people he was looking for. He's right.
Naruto's body was there. His body was covered with blood. His jacket was ripped off to pieces. His face was black and blue. His left hand held Sakura's right hand. Sakura lied there, unmoved, her hair scattered in careless manner. Her cheeks were pale, there's no any sign of life. Sasuke quickly examined his friends' condition. No heartbeat. They've gone away.
For a moment, he couldn't utter any single world to express his sadness. The tears he strove to hold back for so many years since the clan was killed now was rolling down his cheeks, as he placed their heads on his lap, mentally broke down. Itachi was right. He's failed again. There's no turning back. There won't be loud-mouth but loyal badass that he used to know, there won't be any serene smile or tears of joy from Sakura when he returned. He has no one. He has nothing.
He had nowhere to comeback. Did life really mean anything at all after you've lost everything?
He stroked their faces softly; even tough his hands were extremely shaking. "No…it…can't be…"he said plaintively, stuttered. "Naruto…Sakura…please…forgive…me…" After uttered this words, he slowly lost his consciousness. Everything was dark, and yet he remained there.
Author's note: Did I do well with the grammar and Sasuke's characterization-wise? I'd really like to hear comments from you all. Was Sasuke's dream enough to catch the atmosphere of "angst"? Well…at least I've tried. Things will be opened up around next chapters, so I hope you can continue with this story. Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Tsunade and everyone else will be appeared around chapter 2. By the way, the opening song was taken from Josh Groban's album, Closer with the song's called Remember When It Rained. It was still raining when I was writing this down, hehehe…See ya!