Authors Notes: I am taking a break...Not from writing or something. It's just. Joffrey is hard, his personality is easy but everything else is hard. Writing Epilogues is hard, and being mature is hard so I'm having a change of pace so my phycological issues don't come knocking soooooooooooo I'm doing this.
To explain how I'm going to do this without making it confusing is hard but I'm going to do it!
This world is Modern except that Dwarfs and Bastards are still not accepted. If it still doesn't make sense then I'm sorry.
Anyway Enjoy! Cause I'm gonna.
Chapter 1-Of Fruits and Needles and a bit of misunderstandings
Casterly Rock
Tyrion: U kno wo8 I jus realise sis
Cersei: What is it? You insufferable imp.
Tyrion: I jus realise that if Hoses were fruits then the Starks would be Lemons and they're bastard would be a Lime
Cersei: And why do you think that?
Tyrion: Because they are always so sour
Cersei: How nice.
Tyrion: Also we would be Tomatoes hence I would be a Cherry tomato!
Cersei: You're drunk...
Tyrion: Not anymore my dear sis. And tomatoes are fruits, if you don't know that then you're the drunk one.
Cersei: One day I will have Greg rip you in half.
Tyrion: Then I would be the Quarter man wouldn't I?
Cersei: That's it I'm gonna get a drink
Winterfell
Arya: JON HELP, I STABBED SOMEONE WITH NEEDLE! PLSSSSS
Sansa: One: How is it bad to accidentally stab someone with a needle? Two: How did you get a needle when you were not even in the sewing class? Finally: How did you get me mixed up with Jon. Our names start differently for the new God's sake!
Arya: Ummmmmm. It was... GTG, BRB
Meanwhile with Eddard Stark
Ned: Howland. I think it's time to reveal the truth to Jon
Cat: Tell what to your son Ned?
Ned: Nothing! Just that...I was planning a surprise for him. Now if you excuse me, I must meet with Howland to plan this...surprise.
Cat: Really now?
Ned: Yes?
Cat: Well I cannot see any fault in that so have fun!
With Howland
Ned: Anyway I love you.
Howland: Ummmmmmmm, you might wanna check your text
Ned: Oh.
AN: And that's it for the first chapter.
If it's not funny then please tell me how the fudge I make this funnier.