Disclaimer: Inuyasha and its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own anything except the idea for Sesshomaru and Rin's child. Jaken's quote that Rin keeps flashing back to in this is the official dub line from episode 162 and I do NOT own it obviously. The cover photo for this fic was drawn by Pamianime on Deviantart. Go check her out, cause she's an incredible SessRin artist.
It's been quite some time since I wrote fanfiction so this might be a little worst then usual. I apologize. I do hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Sesshomaru and Rin's daughter is about 3 in this.
Chapter 1: Frightening Realization
~Prologue~
Humans and demons; they were so different in so many ways. Both were constantly at odds with each other, forever misunderstanding the other's way of life and actions. The biggest difference, however; was not their appearances, or personalities. It was not their way of living or bloodline. It was the time difference the two species had on this earth. Humans would only live about fifty to a hundred years, but in the days of the feudal era; even that was a big stretch. Meanwhile, demons lived for hundreds of years, no matter what life would throw at them.
A certain sentence from one little demon to a young human girl rung out in her mind as she thought about the cruel difference between the species. This girl was now a full-grown woman, and she remembered the words spoken to her from that time as clear as day when she thought back to several years ago:
"...To us demons, a hundred years is nothing at all. But to a human like you, time is everything. By the time the lord's empire is created, you'll be longggggg gone."
One thought always surfaced following the remembrance of those words. It was a thought that made the human girl's heart ache in a way she hated more then anything else. The thought was simple:
Humans and demons...could never be together for eternity. No matter how hard they tried. That was the simple and plain truth. The truth that the human woman hated more then anything else...
A tall demon with long snow-colored hair looked down at the woman sitting against a tree at his feet. His expression remained blank as he spoke to her, a small figure moving around in his arm, "I will return momentarily, Rin." His explanation was even more plain then the look on his pale face.
The woman named Rin looked up to him, a loving smile resting on her face, "Be safe, Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin waved to the small person the man was carrying in his left arm. She stood up to place a small kiss on the tiny person's head, "Behave for Daddy, alright Tsuki- chan?"
The child peaked up at Rin through the bangs that were the same tint as Sesshomaru's. Tsukinoko only coo'ed as she turned her head and returned to resting her face back into her father's tail fluff.
As she watched her lord and daughter walk away for their usual hunting/training time, Rin's smile fell a little as she sat back down next to the imp servant known as Jaken.
The two sat in silence for five minutes before either one dared to speak. Eventually Rin looked up from the flowers she had just picked when a certain sentence flashed in her mind for a brief moment. Not turning around to face him, Rin lowered her head at the demon behind her, "Hey, Master Jaken...I have a question."
The typically annoying demon replied in his usual obnoxious voice, "What is it?" A tone of irritation in his voice.
Rin turned her head so that she could peak out at him from over her thin shoulder. Clenching the plants in her hand, she thought back to those words she hated remembering, "Do you...remember that time...when we were left alone in the forest when Lord Sesshomaru went off to check out a village that had been destroyed by bandits?"
Jaken twitched, even more annoyed then before. There had been so many times that his lord had left Rin in his care over the years; he couldn't possibly remember them all, "Just what are you getting at, woman? Spit it out!"
Rin let the flowers fall to the grass as she spun fully around to stare uncharacteristically serious at the servant, "I'm referring to the time I asked you about Lord Sessomaru wanting to create his own empire." Rin began walking back towards the tree Jaken sat at, "Remember how I told you I wanted to stay with you both for as long as it took to create that empire?"
Jaken squinted his eyes as he thought hard back to that time. After a few seconds, he finally recalled what Rin had been talking about, "Ah yes! Why would you bring that up now?"
Rin took her seat and pulled her knees against her chest in the same way she used to when she was a child, "Well, for some reason, I've been thinking about those words a lot these days. Even when I sleep, what you told me back then returns to haunt me. I don't know why it suddenly started but now, I can't get those words out of my head." Rin forced a smile as she buried her face into her arm, "I remember them especially clear whenever I look Lord Sesshomaru or Tsukinoko-chan in the eyes. I feel somewhat of an indescribable distance slowly forming between all of us...and I don't like it."
Jaken remained silent as he returned to thinking so as to remember exactly what words she was now referring to.
Rin lifted her head as she felt a cool breeze hit her hair and back.
"...To us demons, a hundred years is nothing at all. But to a human like you, time is everything. By the time the lord's empire is complete, you'll be longgggg gone."
The human's eyes glimmered a moment as she watched some leaves blow out of a tree in the distance, "Master Jaken...do you think Lord Sesshomaru will be able to build his empire soon?"
Jaken pulled himself away from his thoughts and shot a look towards Rin, "Well, to be frank, he probably would have already done that if you hadn't wasted his time with having that half-demon baby."
Rin flinched a moment, not sure whether she was angry or hurt or even both by that tactless remark, "...Ahh..." Sesshomaru's wife decided to think next time before she tried to ask Jaken for advice. The silence from earlier soon returned and the two decided to ignore each other for the time being.
Minutes passed as Rin continued sitting there, letting her mind wander deeper into that one dark memory. Her train of thought continued to fly along with the light wind until slowly, Rin's eyes shut and the woman fell into a deep sleep...
Hmm...? Where am I?
Rin stood alone in a dark unfamiliar place. She looked around, realizing she was no longer in the forest she had been in earlier. The woman called out to Jaken, hoping for a response but her efforts soon proved futile. The human began to panic a little when the darkness around her proceeded to get close to the space she stood in. Rin held her breath as she felt her body be pressured by the blackness. She was just about to scream when suddenly, a small light appeared a few feet away from her. Rin instantly recognized the person standing in the light and smiled blissfully.
Lord Sesshomaru!
However, her voice made no noise. Rin touched her throat, confused as to why her voice hadn't escaped her mouth. She made a move to call out again but before she could, Sesshomaru's figure turned away from her and began walking further into the distance. Rin felt her heartbeat slow down as she watched the man she loved more then life itself leave her behind in the dark. Without thinking twice, Rin took off in pursuit of her demon lord, each step growing further and further apart from him. Rin opened her mouth, continuously attempting to call out to Sesshomaru's attention. Still, her voice fell on deaf ears and Sesshomaru walked on.
Eventually her legs burned with pain and she could run no more. Rin went down like a brick. The human girl breathed heavily, her face plastered to the dark ground as her body trembled achingly. Once air returned to her lungs, the brunette slowly looked up to see Sesshomaru had stopped at last. Not only that, but his face was looking back at her figure laying there. Rin's eyes trembled emotionally as her husband continued to stare at her with the same face he had always worn. After a few seconds, his lips parted but like with her own, Sesshomaru's voice did not echo out. Rin was about to respond back to the silent remark when a blur suddenly went by the corner of her eyes. She looked over to see little Tsukinoko doing her best to run to her father. Unlike her mother, Tsukinoko was able to reach Sesshomaru who stood in the only light around in the deep blackness. One thing was clear: it had been their daughter Sesshomaru had noticed and called out to. Not her.
Rin only watched in silence as Sesshomaru gently picked Tsukinoko up. Once the child was balanced in his arms, he turned to walk away again. Tears began to fill up in Rin's hazel orbs when Tsukinoko peaked over her father's shoulder. The little one smiled in a way Rin had never seen her do before. The half-demon child mouthed a few words when Sesshomaru and her finally vanished completely from Rin's sight.
At last, the human's voice returned and Rin let out a cry. Pulling her knees to her chest, Rin buried her face and gripped both sides of her head as she began denying what she had just saw. Both Sesshomaru and Tsukinoko had left her behind, all alone without even giving a second thought. The human had felt a heartache similar to this before. That was experienced back when she was just a young child, some time before she had even met her lord.
Between her sobs, Rin pleaded out in pain, "No...no...don't go! I don't want to be left behind by my family! Not again!"
"You idiot girl."
Rin looked up from her knees to see Jaken now standing there, glaring at her. Between her hiccups and tears, Sesshomaru's wife tilted her head at the imp, wondering why he was suddenly there. The kappa read her mind and smirked.
"Stupid, I told you before. You will die long before the lord completes his empire. LONG before. Lord Sesshomaru and even your half-demon child will live far longer then you."
Rin slowly shook her head, almost as if she refused to believe his words. However, in truth, she was more confused then that. Jaken let out a sigh and began pacing back and forth. After a moment, he pointed the staff of two heads at the space Sesshomaru had been standing in prior,
"You still don't get it, do you? They aren't leaving you," Jaken looked back to Rin and noticed her eyes widen greatly, "Don't you see? You're the one leaving them."
Rin felt something she found all too familiar. Reaching down, Rin placed her hand over where her heart resided. After a couple seconds, she concluded that any kind of beating had ceased all together. Her heart had stopped. Just like that. This had happened twice before when she was a child. Her heart froze. Her breathing faded away. Any feeling she had disappeared in a snap. Her eyes closed shut and the ability to open them was completely lost. However, each one of those times, she had been miraculously returned to life. This time, however...seemed different.
Rin looked over to ask Jaken something when his figure suddenly transformed into a beautiful inu-yokai woman. She soon recognized her to be Sesshomaru's mother, in whom she'd met the second time she had lost her life years ago. Rin's voice went out of her along with the remaining breath in her lungs when her mother-in-law smiled at her.
Then, another light manifested in the darkness. It was a very small light. Sesshomaru's mother pointed to it and looked to Rin who was still gripping her chest,
"I want you to remember something important I told Sesshomaru years ago. Life is not meant to be limitless. It's just as the little demon said...you will die. Far sooner then either Sesshomaru or your child will. There will be no third chance. You will not be revived again. Remember that...and prepare for when the time comes."
Before Rin could respond, the light grew and overtook the darkness within a second.
"...in...R...in..."
"Mmm...eh?" To Rin's surprise, her eyes opened and oxygen entered her in a breath of relief. Rin looked up to see a blurry figure staring down at her. She blinked somewhat before her vision corrected itself. Her cheeks tinted a bright pink when she noticed it was Sesshomaru who had been calling her name just now. The demon sat next to her, her head resting on his shoulder.
Rin sat up instantly, "M-My lord, when did you get back?" She asked, her tone one of unexpected excitement.
Sesshomaru simply blinked, "Some time ago." Sesshomaru's eyes intensified for a moment, "It appears you were having a bad dream, Rin." His voice appeared to be somewhat more gentle then usual.
Rin swallowed before she put on the most reassuring smile she could manage after having such a nightmare, "O-Oh, well...I'm just fine now, Lord Sesshomaru. U-Um..." Desperate to change the topic, Rin began gripping at Sesshomaru's sleeves like an overprotective mother inspecting her child, "You were gone for quite some time, my lord. I should actually ask if YOU'RE alright..."
Sesshomaru's hard frown seemed to worsen before his eyes redirected to something else. He knew what she was doing but didn't feel like complying with her wishes. Instead, he mumbled quietly, "...You were crying in your sleep when I returned."
The female's heart soon sank when she realized her attempt at changing the subject had failed. Rin stared at Sesshomaru's handsome face a moment before she slowly turned away and narrowed her eyes shamefully, embarrassed he had seen such a thing, "Was I? I'm sorry you had to see such an indecent sight, Lord Sesshomaru."
The Inu demon glanced over at his wife, catching onto the unusually distanced tone in her voice. However, instead of repeating his earlier question, Sesshomaru remained silent. Once Rin's husband had thought up something to say instead, Rin interrupted him, "How did training with Tsukinoko go? Did she make any progress?"
Sesshomaru looked over to the figure of his sleeping daughter who was resting comfortably against A-Un that sat opposite of Rin, "...She has begun to learn how to distinct various smells it would seem. However, she still has quite a ways to go." His answer seemed so cold at first. But Rin just smiled, knowing this was her lord's way of caring for their offspring.
Rin scooted her body over so she could pet Tsukinoko's hair gently, "I see. She's so smart to be learning all of this so quickly at her age."
"She is a half-demon. It is not her potential, but her instinct, Rin." Sesshomaru quietly responded, not looking over at either her nor the sleeping toddler. Again, the comment was quiet cruel-sounding, but nonetheless true.
Rin began playing with tiny strands of her daughter's hair, careful not to wake the child up in the process as she sat there in silence. Without realizing it, Rin's hazel eyes continued to stare, without fail, down at Tsukinoko's tiny face. A very distanced yet also sad look remained in the young mother's hazel orbs. Sesshomaru noticed this and called out to her. When she didn't respond, the woman's spouse extended his claws towards Rin's cheek. However, before his touch could connect with her body, Rin's lips opened,
"Lord Sesshomaru, may I ask a question...?"
Sesshomaru let his hand fall and he nodded.
Some straying bangs fell over Rin's face as she ceased stroking her half-pup's head. Her mind had wandered back to the nightmare she had had a few minutes ago. The words that had been told to her in the dream seemed to be having more of an effect on her then Jaken's words from the past. Though they both shared the same basic message. Rin couldn't bring herself to tell Sesshomaru in detail about the nightmare nor her own concerns about the future. They were her's and her's alone. No need to bother her lord with such trivial matters when, as Jaken had already told her that evening; she had already forced Sesshomaru to put his dream of ruling his own empire to the side because of her.
Still though. She had one buzzing question burning brightly in her brain that she desperately wanted an honest answer to. So with a heavy heart and silent deep breath, Rin spoke nervously, "O-Out of curiosity, how long does a demon live?"
Sesshomaru's expression remained unchanging. However, the nonhuman let one of his eyebrows rise to show his confusion at such a random, pointless question. Then again, this had not been the first time Rin had asked him something ridiculous over their time together.
"It varies, depending on the type of demon." Was all he said, his tone like the coolest of ice.
Rin accepted that answer and decided to ask something else, "...And a half-demon? What is usually their lifespan like?"
Sesshomaru felt his heart stop a moment. His golden eyes fell back onto the figure of his lover. Now he himself had a question he needed an answer to, "...Why are you asking such things?"
Rin glanced towards him from behind her bangs and noticed Sesshomaru's expression beginning to change ever so slightly. She bit her lip, now wishing she hadn't asked anything in the first place. Had she angered her lord? Irritated him? Or even somehow insulted him? Rin had prayed he'd answer her with one sentence; straight-forward with his explanation as he had done in the past. Perhaps she had crossed the line when she mentioned the terms "half-demon".
Feeling that she should pull back before she upset her beloved husband any more, Rin put the fake smile back on and let out one of her famously cute giggles, "J-Just kidding, my lord!" She claimed, attempting to play off the entire conversation as one big joke. Not that Sesshomaru was dumb enough to fall for it of course.
Making the sudden excuse that she had to go wash her face in the nearby river, Rin shot up. After dusting off her kimono, the woman quickly took off into the dark of night before the dog demon could even protest.
~xXx~
I can't believe I actually thought asking Lord Sesshomaru such things was a good idea...
Rin thought as she splashed some water against her face. Thoroughly washing her red cheeks, the brunette heard the words from her dream echo once more,
"Life is not meant to be limitless. It's just as the little demon said...you will die. Far sooner then either Sesshomaru or your child will. There will be no third chance. You will not be revived again. Remember that."
Rin stopped washing her face when she felt her heart ache a little. It hurt to admit it to even herself, but those words held so much truth in them that it wasn't even funny. Thinking back on it, she should have died over ten years ago. Rather, she should have remained dead. But by one miracle after another, Rin escaped death twice. TWICE. That was far more chances then anyone else got. Especially for a delicate human like herself.
"So when my heart stops beating again..." Rin reached down and placed a hand over her chest. Gripping her kimono to the point of making her knuckles turn white, she looked up at the large moon hanging in the night sky, "...that'll be it. I won't be able to be with him anymore. Not Lord Sesshomaru or Tsuki-chan..." Tears began to brim in the corners of the human's eyes. However, they soon disappeared just as soon as they had appeared when out of no where, an unfamiliar voice echoed from behind Rin.
Spinning around, Rin caught sight of a figure standing there before her. She felt her stomach drop to her feet when she noticed it to be a demon. A powerful one at that. It was very large and tall. Blood-stained fangs were peaking out of the creature's mouth which made it all the more frightening to Rin. Not only that, but the creature wore wealthy-looking battle armor, meaning he must have been a strong demon lord of some kind. The human's face paled completely as she took a step back, but not enough to end up falling in the river.
The demon smirked at Rin's actions, twirling the weapon he was holding as if it were a plaything, "Well, well...a human. Didn't your parents ever tell you it was dangerous to hang out late at night?" The demon stopped twirling his sword to point it straight in Rin's direction, "Staying up past your bedtime could get you killed, filthy wench."
Ren said nothing to this. Nor did she scream. She couldn't even breath. Rin was more frozen in her life now then she had ever been before. No matter what she told her brain, the woman's legs refused to obey her and run. How ironic was it that she had just been thinking about how she'd die someday. Right in front of her was a monster that could probably tear her apart in an instant, effectively making her worst fear come true. Was her having that nightmare earlier supposed to be seen as some cruel form of premonition?
N-No...I don't want to die yet...
The demon cackled before taking a threatening step towards Rin. In turn, the girl's knees weakened and she dropped like a rock. Rin's pupils grew smaller and smaller with each word that escaped the yokai's mouth,
"I haven't eaten all day. Though you're a disgusting human, you'll be a better meal then nothing!" At that, the demon began charging to Rin at full-speed. At that point, time seemed to slow down considerably for her. Though he was running, to Rin; the demon was in slow motion. Everything around her was totally grey. With each passing second, everything being seen by Rin appeared like a snapshot in sync with each painful beat of her heart.
Beat one: the demon was several feet from her.
Beat two: a few drops of sweat fell from Rin's chin like rain.
Beat three: the yokai's sword was risen over Rin's head.
Beat four: The woman's lips separately ever so slightly as one thought escaped from her mind to the outside...
I don't want to die.
Memories of her life began to race through Rin's mind in a millisecond. She saw every single memory she shared with Lord Sesshomaru: The first time she saw him in the forest. When he asked her where she got her bruises. The moment she opened her eyes to see the fair-skinned inu yokai holding her after reviving her. All the countless times Sesshomaru had protected her. All the happiness she had felt just being with him. The second time she died when Sesshomaru's mother first appeared. Then, the timeskip of many years later. When she was no longer a child, but an incredibly beautiful woman. Rin recalled the day Sesshomaru finally explained his feelings for her. The night they were married. When they first made love. Tsukinoko's arrival. Every little memory, every single detail...they had become as clear to Rin as if they had all just happened the day before. Then, they all faded like an autumn breeze.
Color returned to the things Rin saw in front of her. Time's flow returned to normal once again. As the demon brought his sword downward, the words from Rin's dream rang out one final time,
"Life is not meant to be limitless. It's just as the little demon said...you will die."
The sword now a hundred counts away from striking her.
"Far sooner then either Sesshomaru or your child will."
Eighty counts.
"There will be no third chance. You will not be revived again. Remember that."
Fifty counts...
Rin's eyes darkened considerably as she felt her heart slow down. She thought back to the other times she'd died. Her heart stopped. All breath left her. The ability to move any part of her vanished in a snap. Just like her eyes, Rin's thoughts also gave into the darkness from her dream and worst fear.
The demon's sword fell, only a mere twenty counts away. Rin's eyes focused onto the blade, her sorrowful expression reflecting into the weapon's edge.
If my heart were to stop beating again...
The sword's blade: ten counts and going down.
...then...
Rin shut her eyes when she heard the sound of the sword tearing into flesh. She smelled blood fly through the air as she felt her heart stop. The woman fell back slowly. Rin recalled the scene in her dream where she saw Sesshomaru and Tsuki walking away from her. As the human hit the ground silently, she saw the emotionless face of her husband and the curious face of their daughter in her mind. As Rin felt herself drift away, Sesshomaru and Tsukinoko's faces faded...forever back into the dark.
Through a small smile, Rin spoke one simple word before losing herself completely. The word was straight-forward, simple, and fitting. It had been something she'd thought two times before this moment.
Sayonara.
Author's Comments: So like several of my other fics, this was originally meant to be a one-shot, but of course it became a two-short. Next chapter will be the last (or should be...). So enjoy this jerk of a cliff-hanger until then lol
Let me know what you thought in a review please! It really helps :)