So, you walk into a room. Its five horses long and three wide. The ceiling is about five times the height of a man. There is a door to your left and another directly ahead. In the far corner is a large vase. You...
"I go over to the vase," Sal said.
Okay, you go over to the vase. Now what?
"I'll check inside! Maybe it has treasure!"
Hmm...roll your d-20 real quick.
"Aw, crap. You're planning something mean aren't you?"
Just roll.
"Um...I got an 8."
Okay, you're now covered in a thick, jello-like goo that is slowly burning into your armor.
"Wha?...The jar was trapped?" Sal exclaimed.
Duh! Now...what should you all do?
"My character uses a water spell to remove the goop!" Andrea exclaimed.
Okay...what spell?
"Uh...I don't know."
"You people are so stupid," Lucas laughed.
"Hey! Stop being such a jerk and help out the Paladin!" Andrea yelled at Lucas.
"Fine...I use the water from my flask to wash off the goop."
"And I use Armor Mend to fix his armor."
Fine, the goop is gone.
"Let's go to the door on the left," Sal suggested.
"I'll do a check for traps first," Andrea said.
Roll a Dex. check.
"13."
There is an electric trap there.
"I'll remove it."
Roll.
"10."
Your thief disables the trap. It is now safe to enter the door.
"Geez...what kind of castle is this?" Sal asked, "Everything and its dog is booby-trapped!"
"We go through the door." Andrea sighed.
You enter a hall with three doors, one to each wall. Next to the door at the end stand two trolls guarding it. They see you.
"I cast Magic Missile!" Lucas yelled.
Roll your d-20.
"Natural 20!"
"You totally blow the head off of one of the trolls. The other one holds up a club and runs for...YOU!"
"Me!?" Sal yelled.
Roll.
"Crap. 3."
He hits the paladin over the side of the head with a club. You take...7 damage. Andrea's turn.
"I stab the troll in the back." Andrea said.
"Back-stabber," Lucas commented.
"SHUT UP!"
Roll your d-20.
"Lucky 13."
You stab it in the back and it howls in pain, temporarily forgetting about the Paladin. Lucas?
"I use Charm Monster."
Roll your Charisma.
"18."
You have a new best friend.
"Troll, what is behind these doors?"
He doesn't speak common.
"Well...there goes that plan."
"I cast sleep on the troll." Sal said.
He's asleep.
"I slit his throat."
"That is so mean." Andrea said.
"You just killed my new best friend." Lucas cried. They all suppress a laugh.
"Well, it's not like he could help us at all since he didn't speak Common." Sal said.
"Well I don't speak moron and I haven't slit your throat yet."
Can we get on with the story?
"Sorry."
What do you do now?
"I think we should go through the door they were guarding." Andrea suggested.
"Oh, really? And what if that door is trapped, too?" Lucas asked.
"I check it for traps."
All clear.
"See? Now let's go through. I open the door."
Seven zombies pour out of the small room on the other side, muttering something about brains as one grabs you. Roll for Initiative.
"15."
"9"
"UG! 3."
So the paladin, then the wizard, then the rouge. Okay. Paladin?
"I cast Disrupt Undead!" Sal said.
Roll.
"21 total."
Three of the zombies are destroyed.
"Nice one, Sal," Lucas laughed.
"Yeh, leave some for us," Andrea commented.
Well, there you have it. A look inside the bowels of D&D. Please don't hurt me.