Disclaimer- I do not own Kirby, GTA, Sonic, or anything else in this fic.
If I did, I would be FILTHY RICH and I wouldn't be wasting my time writing
this fic in the first place.
This is the beginning of: The Absolutely Pointless Adventures of Kirby
Breaking a huge fast
Bob: Hi! I'm the narrator of this story! And all other ones that iamdeath makes!
IAD: Just call me IAD. Or Death. I like Death.
Zacharias: I don't. *goes Super Saiyan* I hate you.
Death: Grrrreat. Ok, here's the fic. AAUUGGHH!!!
Zacharias: Yes! I killed him!
Smoldering Crater: *sizzle*
Bob: Okay.. Now, Popstar. Kirby wakes up from a 3-day sleep.
Kirby: Huh? *blinks eyes* What time is it? Holy s-t, it's 11:00am! I'm starving! Must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat.. * turns on radio*
DJ: Good morning, Popstar! Today is Blingday the 21st!
Kirby: WTF!? I fell asleep on the night of Yoingday the 17th! *counts on fingers he doesn't have* 18, 19, 20. that's 3 days! I've slept for 3 days! I NEED FOOD!!
Gooey: Habthe tar sakboon tuoe xhbgh, dur dur dur!
Kirby: Shut up. *sucks up Gooey and spits him out window*
Gooey: AAAAHHhhhhhh..
Kirby: Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have moved to Cliff Top.. Oh, well.
DJ: This just in! King Dedede has stolen the world's food supply. AGAIN. Kirby, please help us. AGAIN.
Kirby: WHAT!? Damnit! Not him! Not again! Not NOW!
Bob: Not the Chinese nipple torture!
Zacharias: *giving Bob Chinese nipple torture* Yes!
Bob- Ack! *dies*
Zacharias: I narrate now! Okay, Kirby and Popstar burn in hell and (cl) the cheese god takes over the universe!
Death: Ooooh no. That's my thing. I love cheese.
Zacharias: What!? I killed you!
Death- Moron. I-AM-DEATH. Remember? Besides, you can't kill the author. And I brought you into this world-
Zacharias: -and you can take me out of it. I know, I know.
Death: Good. Now go get the Dragon Balls and revive my narrator. *Zacharias uses Instant Transmission* Now, I will narrate. Sorry for the delay. So, Kirby brings 3 of those strange power trophy thingies with him: the Sword, Fire, and Yoyo trophies. He puts them in a duffle bag and floats away. *mutters* A duffle bag. That's so stupid. *speaks normally* So anyway, Kirby decides to land in the forest, for no reason, and fight the enemies there, for no reason.
Kirby: *in defensive tone* What? It keeps the story goin'.
Death: But, little does Creampuff know-
Kirby: Hey!
Death: -he entered the. *echo* Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear! There are two Knuckle Joes (enemies with the Fighter power) blocking the entrance.
Joe#1: Halt!
Joe#2: Or else we will start a pointless fight with you and end up getting digested anyway.
Kirby: No, I'll kill you and loot your corpses this time.
#2: Oh, okay.
Death: So Kirby does this. He burns them with the Fire Power. Each of them has one muffin.
Kirby: YES!! FOOD!! *sucks up muffins* Wow, that was too fast.. Okay, maybe I should eat these corpses even though enemies don't really fill me up for some reason. *eats corpses* Ooh, a sign. *reads out loud* Welcome to the Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear. Please watch your step and don't litter. Walking desserts are not allowed in this Forest. Thank you, signed, King Dedede.
Death: Ha ha! Living desserts. That's good!
Kirby: Now I have another reason to kill that bird.. Well, in a Chinese food place, he's a walking dinner.
Death: Are you trying to call him a duck, cuz I don't think he's a duck. He's just a. bird.
Kirby: I DON'T CARE!!!
Death: . Sorry. Please don't hurt me.
Kirby: Fine. I'll just enter this Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear and- *gets hit in the head (or in other words, his whole body) by a grenade* Ow! What the f..?!
Death: A man jumps down from a tree- with a remote detonating device!
Bob: Woh, I'm alive.
Death: Whew! *wipes forehead* Okay, you narrate. I need to go steal more souls before I lose my energy and die. *leaves*
Bob: But. how can I. narrate? I can't narrate a fic when it's not being. created.
Kirby: Just make up stuff. I can't stand being frozen like this.
Death: Okay, I'm back. I just needed a few souls to stay alive.
Bob: Okay, now I can narrate! Let's see.. The man with the detonating device is. Tommy from Vice City!
Tommy: The sign said no walkin' desserts allowed in the Inter- dimensional-
Kirby: Yeah, I know, just call it the Forest. And I am NOT a walking dessert! *mutters* All this abuse. I'm gonna need a therapist soon.
Tommy: Yeah; a physical therapist. See you in hell!
Bob: Then, before Tommy can hit the button, Kirby kicks the grenade at him. However, Tommy can't stop his hand in time; he detonates the grenade when it's right in front of him.
Tommy: *goes flying into a tree* OW! Ugh..
Kirby: *sucks up Tommy* Yay! I got a new power! *echo* GTA Kirby!
Bob: This power gives Kirby every weapon in GTA Vice City.
Kirby: It does? Yes! *takes out oozy* This has always been my favorite. Huh? Cool, I'm wearing that blue Hawaiian-looking shirt that Tommy always wears.
Death: Ugh, that's stupid. I like it when he gets the cop clothes.
Bob: ANYWAY, Kirby continues. A nearby bush rustles and Kirby jumps. He points his oozy at it.
Kirby: Who's there? Ah, screw it. *makes an assistant from GTA power*
Tommy: How can I help ya?
Kirby: Just stand there and look pretty. I know that's kinda hard for you, but..
Tommy: I can handle it. *uses cheat code and turns into Candy Suxx*
Kirby: Rrrright. I said look pretty, not like a whore. Anyway. time to use my Sword power and cut these bushes. Hm, the rustling stopped. Not for long! *takes out Sword trophy and uses sword to cut away bushes*
Bob: Woh! It's Sonic and Rouge!
Death: Making out!
Kirby: Sonic, why are you cheating on Amy?
Sonic: Tch, she wishes.
Rouge: No, I'm the one who's cheating here, on Knuckles. I'm getting $10 for it, though.
Sonic: Yeah, so, um, would you mind not telling anyone about this?
Kirby: Sure. *grins* But in return..
Rouge: We won't tell Dedede that you're here. I think that's good enough payment, don't you?
Kirby: No, not really. *points oozy at Rouge* I'll use this. Either give me directions, or food. Your choice.
Rouge: You wouldn't be able to kill us, but we'll give you directions anyway. *points at tree* Press that knot on the tree. That'll take you to Dedede's castle.
Kirby: Thanks. *presses knot*
Bob: A huge piece of cheese appears out of nowhere and teleports Kirby to the castle.
Dedede's Castle
Kirby: *tries to eat cheese, but it disappears* NNNOOOOOO!!! Oh, well, I'm about to get the WORLD'S SUPPLY OF FOOD! Yes!
Bob: So Kirby runs around the castle trying to find Dedede. He makes Tommy his assistant again and takes on the Yoyo power. Kirby is quite insane with his starvation problem.
Kirby: I CAME, I SAW, I KILLED EVERYONE IN SIGHT!!!
Tommy: And I took their wallets. ;)
Bob: And then, a small army charges them down a huge corridor!
Tommy: *takes out rocket launcher* Bye-bye. *blows up army*
Kirby: Wow, you're the best assistant I ever had. Hey, look, a door!
Tommy: It says, "This is NOT King Dedede's huge food supply."
Kirby: BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!! Oh, screw it, I want my GTA power back. *absorbs Tommy again* YES!! *shoots down door with best shotgun in Vice City* Wait, there's no food in here. Only-
Dedede: Me, King Dedede! You'll never get the food supply back AGAIN, for I-
Kirby: SHUT THE HELL UP! You don't get it, do you?! I'M F---ING STARVING!!! *takes out gatling (sorry if I didn't spell that right) gun* FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOOOOD!!!
Bob: My God, Kirby, you've been screaming the whole fic..
Kirby: If I knew where you are, BOB, I'd kill you, too. NOW, DIE DIE DIE! *shoots Dedede*
Bob: Wow, Dedede looks like a really big and bloody piece of Swiss cheese.
Dedede: *gurgle* *sizzle*
Kirby: *runs into next room* Ooh, a giant safe. *sarcastic* I cannot guess what's in there. I wonder what it is? Hmmm.. *glares at the 2 guards* Outta my way.
Guard #1: Er, I do not think this huge safe is holding the world's food supply. *looks at Guard #2* Do you?
#2: Um, no, I think the food is n-
Kirby: *hacks guards to pieces with chainsaw* Eww. Well, I told them to move.. *takes key from #1's remains* Okay, here we go. *turns key in lock; lock opens up* WHAT?! A retina scan?! Oh, well, better get Dedede's eyeball. *smiles evilly*
Bob: Wait, don't do that in front of me! Oh, that's disgus- *pukes* Well, Kirby has the eyeball, but I no longer have my lunch..
Kirby: *opens safe* All right! Time for a huge breakfast. *stops* Wait, this food belongs to Popstar.. Oh, who frickin' cares?! I'M STARVING! Popstar can suffer for all I care!
Bob: So, while foaming at the mouth, Kirby sucks down all the food in a huge frenzy.
Kirby: *finishes food* Ah, I feel better now. I'm back to my normal, cheerful self. Yippee.
Bob: So, after blowing up the castle, Kirby leaves the Inter- dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear. But as he's walking home..
Kirby: Aaaah!! A huge mob! Popstar's after me! RUUUN!
Mob: You ate our entire food supply, bastard!
Random person#1: Let's catch him and burn him!
Random person#2: Yeah, roast him like a marshmallow and eat him!
Random person#3: No, let's beat him with a shoe! That's the worst!
Kirby: Oh, no, an Iraqi..
Random person#4: No, let's take out his spleen and liver and sell them on E-Bay! *everyone stares at him*
Bob: So, after the mob beats the crap out of #4, ties him to a chair, gags him, and straps rubber breasts on him-
Kirby: They've been watching The New Guy too much.
Bob: -they continue chasing Kirby.
Kirby: AAAUUUGGGHHH!
Zacharias: *appears out of nowhere* Stop, foolish mob! Just go to the DBZ World and wish your food back.
Mob: NO!!
Zacharias: Fine. *blows up mob*
Kirby: Thanks. How'd you get here?
Zacharias: Had a second wish, so I wished I was in the fic.
Death: Good. Now go back and wish Popstar back to life.
Zacharias: No. Just end the fic. Everything will go back to normal when you start a new one.
Death: Okay. Then this is. THE END.
Was it good, huh, was it?? Each chapter will be a different story. I've already got an idea for the 2nd chapter, but I need to know if I should even bother posting it. So please review. Review, or Martha Stewart will get you! *high-pitched scream from nowhere*
This is the beginning of: The Absolutely Pointless Adventures of Kirby
Breaking a huge fast
Bob: Hi! I'm the narrator of this story! And all other ones that iamdeath makes!
IAD: Just call me IAD. Or Death. I like Death.
Zacharias: I don't. *goes Super Saiyan* I hate you.
Death: Grrrreat. Ok, here's the fic. AAUUGGHH!!!
Zacharias: Yes! I killed him!
Smoldering Crater: *sizzle*
Bob: Okay.. Now, Popstar. Kirby wakes up from a 3-day sleep.
Kirby: Huh? *blinks eyes* What time is it? Holy s-t, it's 11:00am! I'm starving! Must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat.. * turns on radio*
DJ: Good morning, Popstar! Today is Blingday the 21st!
Kirby: WTF!? I fell asleep on the night of Yoingday the 17th! *counts on fingers he doesn't have* 18, 19, 20. that's 3 days! I've slept for 3 days! I NEED FOOD!!
Gooey: Habthe tar sakboon tuoe xhbgh, dur dur dur!
Kirby: Shut up. *sucks up Gooey and spits him out window*
Gooey: AAAAHHhhhhhh..
Kirby: Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have moved to Cliff Top.. Oh, well.
DJ: This just in! King Dedede has stolen the world's food supply. AGAIN. Kirby, please help us. AGAIN.
Kirby: WHAT!? Damnit! Not him! Not again! Not NOW!
Bob: Not the Chinese nipple torture!
Zacharias: *giving Bob Chinese nipple torture* Yes!
Bob- Ack! *dies*
Zacharias: I narrate now! Okay, Kirby and Popstar burn in hell and (cl) the cheese god takes over the universe!
Death: Ooooh no. That's my thing. I love cheese.
Zacharias: What!? I killed you!
Death- Moron. I-AM-DEATH. Remember? Besides, you can't kill the author. And I brought you into this world-
Zacharias: -and you can take me out of it. I know, I know.
Death: Good. Now go get the Dragon Balls and revive my narrator. *Zacharias uses Instant Transmission* Now, I will narrate. Sorry for the delay. So, Kirby brings 3 of those strange power trophy thingies with him: the Sword, Fire, and Yoyo trophies. He puts them in a duffle bag and floats away. *mutters* A duffle bag. That's so stupid. *speaks normally* So anyway, Kirby decides to land in the forest, for no reason, and fight the enemies there, for no reason.
Kirby: *in defensive tone* What? It keeps the story goin'.
Death: But, little does Creampuff know-
Kirby: Hey!
Death: -he entered the. *echo* Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear! There are two Knuckle Joes (enemies with the Fighter power) blocking the entrance.
Joe#1: Halt!
Joe#2: Or else we will start a pointless fight with you and end up getting digested anyway.
Kirby: No, I'll kill you and loot your corpses this time.
#2: Oh, okay.
Death: So Kirby does this. He burns them with the Fire Power. Each of them has one muffin.
Kirby: YES!! FOOD!! *sucks up muffins* Wow, that was too fast.. Okay, maybe I should eat these corpses even though enemies don't really fill me up for some reason. *eats corpses* Ooh, a sign. *reads out loud* Welcome to the Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear. Please watch your step and don't litter. Walking desserts are not allowed in this Forest. Thank you, signed, King Dedede.
Death: Ha ha! Living desserts. That's good!
Kirby: Now I have another reason to kill that bird.. Well, in a Chinese food place, he's a walking dinner.
Death: Are you trying to call him a duck, cuz I don't think he's a duck. He's just a. bird.
Kirby: I DON'T CARE!!!
Death: . Sorry. Please don't hurt me.
Kirby: Fine. I'll just enter this Inter-dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear and- *gets hit in the head (or in other words, his whole body) by a grenade* Ow! What the f..?!
Death: A man jumps down from a tree- with a remote detonating device!
Bob: Woh, I'm alive.
Death: Whew! *wipes forehead* Okay, you narrate. I need to go steal more souls before I lose my energy and die. *leaves*
Bob: But. how can I. narrate? I can't narrate a fic when it's not being. created.
Kirby: Just make up stuff. I can't stand being frozen like this.
Death: Okay, I'm back. I just needed a few souls to stay alive.
Bob: Okay, now I can narrate! Let's see.. The man with the detonating device is. Tommy from Vice City!
Tommy: The sign said no walkin' desserts allowed in the Inter- dimensional-
Kirby: Yeah, I know, just call it the Forest. And I am NOT a walking dessert! *mutters* All this abuse. I'm gonna need a therapist soon.
Tommy: Yeah; a physical therapist. See you in hell!
Bob: Then, before Tommy can hit the button, Kirby kicks the grenade at him. However, Tommy can't stop his hand in time; he detonates the grenade when it's right in front of him.
Tommy: *goes flying into a tree* OW! Ugh..
Kirby: *sucks up Tommy* Yay! I got a new power! *echo* GTA Kirby!
Bob: This power gives Kirby every weapon in GTA Vice City.
Kirby: It does? Yes! *takes out oozy* This has always been my favorite. Huh? Cool, I'm wearing that blue Hawaiian-looking shirt that Tommy always wears.
Death: Ugh, that's stupid. I like it when he gets the cop clothes.
Bob: ANYWAY, Kirby continues. A nearby bush rustles and Kirby jumps. He points his oozy at it.
Kirby: Who's there? Ah, screw it. *makes an assistant from GTA power*
Tommy: How can I help ya?
Kirby: Just stand there and look pretty. I know that's kinda hard for you, but..
Tommy: I can handle it. *uses cheat code and turns into Candy Suxx*
Kirby: Rrrright. I said look pretty, not like a whore. Anyway. time to use my Sword power and cut these bushes. Hm, the rustling stopped. Not for long! *takes out Sword trophy and uses sword to cut away bushes*
Bob: Woh! It's Sonic and Rouge!
Death: Making out!
Kirby: Sonic, why are you cheating on Amy?
Sonic: Tch, she wishes.
Rouge: No, I'm the one who's cheating here, on Knuckles. I'm getting $10 for it, though.
Sonic: Yeah, so, um, would you mind not telling anyone about this?
Kirby: Sure. *grins* But in return..
Rouge: We won't tell Dedede that you're here. I think that's good enough payment, don't you?
Kirby: No, not really. *points oozy at Rouge* I'll use this. Either give me directions, or food. Your choice.
Rouge: You wouldn't be able to kill us, but we'll give you directions anyway. *points at tree* Press that knot on the tree. That'll take you to Dedede's castle.
Kirby: Thanks. *presses knot*
Bob: A huge piece of cheese appears out of nowhere and teleports Kirby to the castle.
Dedede's Castle
Kirby: *tries to eat cheese, but it disappears* NNNOOOOOO!!! Oh, well, I'm about to get the WORLD'S SUPPLY OF FOOD! Yes!
Bob: So Kirby runs around the castle trying to find Dedede. He makes Tommy his assistant again and takes on the Yoyo power. Kirby is quite insane with his starvation problem.
Kirby: I CAME, I SAW, I KILLED EVERYONE IN SIGHT!!!
Tommy: And I took their wallets. ;)
Bob: And then, a small army charges them down a huge corridor!
Tommy: *takes out rocket launcher* Bye-bye. *blows up army*
Kirby: Wow, you're the best assistant I ever had. Hey, look, a door!
Tommy: It says, "This is NOT King Dedede's huge food supply."
Kirby: BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!! Oh, screw it, I want my GTA power back. *absorbs Tommy again* YES!! *shoots down door with best shotgun in Vice City* Wait, there's no food in here. Only-
Dedede: Me, King Dedede! You'll never get the food supply back AGAIN, for I-
Kirby: SHUT THE HELL UP! You don't get it, do you?! I'M F---ING STARVING!!! *takes out gatling (sorry if I didn't spell that right) gun* FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOOOOD!!!
Bob: My God, Kirby, you've been screaming the whole fic..
Kirby: If I knew where you are, BOB, I'd kill you, too. NOW, DIE DIE DIE! *shoots Dedede*
Bob: Wow, Dedede looks like a really big and bloody piece of Swiss cheese.
Dedede: *gurgle* *sizzle*
Kirby: *runs into next room* Ooh, a giant safe. *sarcastic* I cannot guess what's in there. I wonder what it is? Hmmm.. *glares at the 2 guards* Outta my way.
Guard #1: Er, I do not think this huge safe is holding the world's food supply. *looks at Guard #2* Do you?
#2: Um, no, I think the food is n-
Kirby: *hacks guards to pieces with chainsaw* Eww. Well, I told them to move.. *takes key from #1's remains* Okay, here we go. *turns key in lock; lock opens up* WHAT?! A retina scan?! Oh, well, better get Dedede's eyeball. *smiles evilly*
Bob: Wait, don't do that in front of me! Oh, that's disgus- *pukes* Well, Kirby has the eyeball, but I no longer have my lunch..
Kirby: *opens safe* All right! Time for a huge breakfast. *stops* Wait, this food belongs to Popstar.. Oh, who frickin' cares?! I'M STARVING! Popstar can suffer for all I care!
Bob: So, while foaming at the mouth, Kirby sucks down all the food in a huge frenzy.
Kirby: *finishes food* Ah, I feel better now. I'm back to my normal, cheerful self. Yippee.
Bob: So, after blowing up the castle, Kirby leaves the Inter- dimensional Forest Where Characters From Other Games Randomly Appear. But as he's walking home..
Kirby: Aaaah!! A huge mob! Popstar's after me! RUUUN!
Mob: You ate our entire food supply, bastard!
Random person#1: Let's catch him and burn him!
Random person#2: Yeah, roast him like a marshmallow and eat him!
Random person#3: No, let's beat him with a shoe! That's the worst!
Kirby: Oh, no, an Iraqi..
Random person#4: No, let's take out his spleen and liver and sell them on E-Bay! *everyone stares at him*
Bob: So, after the mob beats the crap out of #4, ties him to a chair, gags him, and straps rubber breasts on him-
Kirby: They've been watching The New Guy too much.
Bob: -they continue chasing Kirby.
Kirby: AAAUUUGGGHHH!
Zacharias: *appears out of nowhere* Stop, foolish mob! Just go to the DBZ World and wish your food back.
Mob: NO!!
Zacharias: Fine. *blows up mob*
Kirby: Thanks. How'd you get here?
Zacharias: Had a second wish, so I wished I was in the fic.
Death: Good. Now go back and wish Popstar back to life.
Zacharias: No. Just end the fic. Everything will go back to normal when you start a new one.
Death: Okay. Then this is. THE END.
Was it good, huh, was it?? Each chapter will be a different story. I've already got an idea for the 2nd chapter, but I need to know if I should even bother posting it. So please review. Review, or Martha Stewart will get you! *high-pitched scream from nowhere*