"I'm impressed that you were able to keep your mask up with Nunnally today," CC observes, her voice quiet with that same impassive intonation Lelouch has come to know so well. It's strange, but he had missed her monotone voice when her memories had been lost to her. That voice, such a contradiction when paired with her willful and headstrong nature, is part of what makes CC, CC.
"Yes, it was not easy" he replies. Aboard the Avalon, Lelouch sits on the bed in his private quarters, his back resting against CC's as she sprawls out just behind him. He sighs, struggling to push the conversation with Nunnally from his mind—it is too fresh, too painful. Even after all he has endured, feigning contempt for his beloved younger sister was more difficult than he had imagined it could be. The startled look on her sweet, innocent face, her gasp of surprised dismay before he'd cut the communication feed; it all weighed on him heavily.
More than anything, it only sharpens his loathing for Shneizel. The usurping bastard had stolen his sister and twisted her mind against him. It was because of him that Lelouch now had to adopt this loathsome façade. The mask of Zero was something he had worn like a badge of honor; but the Zero Requiem requires something, someone else entirely, and the deceitful and abhorrent persona he cultivates as Emperor Lelouch is taxing to uphold.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" CC asks, for what feels to him like the thousandth time. "Is your plan, your vision for the future worth all of this? You've compromised so much already. Lost everything."
"Not everything," Lelouch replies.
"Oh? You once believed that Nunnally's happiness was your only reason for living, the motivation behind your campaign as Zero. Now, you have lost her companionship and her confidence, Euphemia's life and legacy, Rolo's devotion, not to mention Suzaku's friendship, Kallen, all of the Black Knights. What does that leave you with?" she muses. He feels the back of her head tip against his as she looks up to the ceiling in thought.
He doesn't respond.
"Well, I suppose you are still alive. Don't tell me it is your life you refer to, when you say that you haven't lost everything. Surely you don't think merely staying alive is enough in this world," CC says doubtfully.
"No, not my life. Yours." Lelouch feels her stiffen against his back at that. He knows that this sort of talk makes her uneasy, but what have they to lose at the hands of sentimentality now? He has not found the opportune moment to talk to her since she regained her memories, so they have never discussed what she revealed to him during the confrontation with his father in the Sword of Akasha. Now, he decides, is as good a time as any.
"I failed to hold up my end of our agreement," he goes on. "You wished to die but you thought, correctly, that I would not be able to end your life and take your Code myself. Why do you think that is, CC?"
She's quiet at first, but he can feel her trembling against him. He takes a deep breath to keep composed himself, awaiting her answer. "Because," she begins, her voice uncharacteristically high. "It's like I said then—you're too kind."
"The one thing that the world will never say of Lelouch vi Britannia is that he is too kind," he chuckles.
"Then the world will be wrong," CC whispers.
Lelouch warms at her words but he ignores them, pressing on. "You still haven't answered my question. Why am I incapable of killing you, of taking your Code for myself and completing our contract?"
CC is silent. Only the low hum of the Avalon's engines disturbs the quiet between them.
"That day, I offered you a new contract, CC, before your memories were taken. I could see then that your Geass burdened you as much as mine does me—you were never loved, not as you wished to be. And when your memories were stolen away, that meek little slave girl showed me all that you have suffered, and the true nature of your heart. I found it to be the heart of a sincere and good woman."
"Lelouch, stop—"
"I won't," he says fiercely, turning and taking her pale, slender hand in his. CC averts her golden eyes, but he can still see the tears shining in them. "I've seen how distant you are lately. You disapprove of what I'm doing. You know what I must sacrifice. Yet here you are, by my side. You are the only one who has stood by me, and you've been here from the start. You gave me this power that has gotten us here, and while back then you had your reasons, you've forsaken them now. So I ask you another question, CC. Why are you still here? Why didn't you give yourself to my father and end your eternity of torment when given the chance? Was it because you knew of his intentions, his madness? Or was there another reason?"
She looks back at him finally, studying his eyes. He wears the special contacts that block his Geass, maintaining the soft purple color of his irises; but he doesn't actually need the precaution around CC. She's the only person he can trust himself around, the only person he trusts. "You know the reason," she responds at last. "But I don't know why you say these things now. Not when the world hangs in the balance, not when you plan to unite the entire human race against yourself. You're going to d—" Her voice breaks before she can get the last word out, and Lelouch feels profoundly moved by such a display of emotion from the stoic CC.
"Yes," he agrees, "I will die." She chokes back a sob, wrenching her hand away and turning her back to him once more.
"But first, I will uphold the contract that I offered you in the World of C."
CC gasps at that, and even Lelouch, who has faced down armies and emperors, feels nervous. He is Zero, the master strategist and brilliant warrior. But he has never been proficient at matters of the heart.
"It's as you say. I do know the reason why you protect me still. It's the same reason why I could never harm you. You love me, CC. And so I can finally fulfill the contract that was denied you so long ago when you were first cursed with the power of Geass. I'll show you what it is to be loved, for I love you truly, with all that is left of my heart."
She is weeping openly now, and Lelouch smiles at her through his own tears, reaching over and caressing the side of her face. He tangles his fingers in her hair, so familiar yet so singular, the color of new spring grass. He's never seen anything like it, never known anyone like her.
There is so much to do, of course. He is burdened with great purpose, with the task of making a kinder world not just for Nunnally, but for Suzaku, for Kallen and Ohgi and the rest of his Knights, for Millie, Nina, and Rivalz, and for CC. For CC most of all, who has given up her own salvation to remain at his side. He promised to make her smile, to show her love and a world worth living in, so that she could cease merely existing and live; so that when she finally meets her end she can greet Death with a smile.
He will honor the contract at the cost of his life, unite the world in their mission to stop him. But to repay CC for giving him the power of kings, he must keep his promise to her first. For this one night he will abandon the mantle of the Emperor, of Zero. Lelouch, simply a man, the man CC chose in Shinjuku what feels like a lifetime ago, resolves to show her what it is to be loved.
For once, it seems that Lelouch is the one who has shocked CC with a revelation. She says nothing, but she's looking at him with something more than her usual detached curiosity.
This close to her, he can smell the light scent of her shampoo, rosy and alluring. She's already undressed and showered from the day's exertions and she's in that skimpy little white half-shirt and shorts, revealing most of her snowy skin to his gaze, inviting his touch.
Sure, he's doing this for her. He wants CC to feel the joy of a lover's embrace—a real lover—not one compelled by Geass. After all she's been through, she deserves to be the one who is taken care of, at least for a little while. But it's precisely because he loves her that he wants this too, desperately. How long has it driven him wild, watching her run around in that silly outfit? How long has he lived beside her, exhausted from the stresses of the war, putting off the urge to tell her how he really feels? At the end of the day, he's just a man after all, and whatever else she might be, CC has the body of a woman, a gorgeous woman.
She shifts toward him and he can see her nipples outlined beneath the thin, white cloth of her top. Lelouch swallows hard, trying to calm the sudden stirring and tightening he feels down below. He wants her, and if the look in her heavy-lidded ochre eyes is any indication, she wants him, too.
He leans in, shutting his eyes and drawing her closer with the hand that's already knotted in her soft hair. When his lips brush hers, she shivers in the most deliciously vulnerable way, melding her body against his and encircling him in her arms.
Lelouch sighs against her mouth, giving himself over to the feeling of it all. He's always so tightly wound, so preoccupied. But he can feel himself letting go of his worries in CC's embrace. Her lips are obliging as she opens her mouth to him.
It isn't the first time they've kissed. Back on the Gawain CC unexpectedly kissed him goodbye. But it was different then; her lips had pressed against his with a friendly fondness. It was a farewell between partners, a signifier of their unique bond, yes—but it didn't carry the passion that ignited the very air around them now.
Lelouch's tongue slides against hers like warm velvet and she tastes sweet and pleasant, like peppermint. Caught up in the heat of her touch, he kisses her hungrily, almost aggressively. How long has it been since he's had any sort of physical contact like this with a woman? Years, perhaps. He's experimented with other girls from school before, but it's never felt like this—so right, so maddeningly intense. He needs more. He needs to show her the depth of his regard for her, to find a physical expression for the turmoil in his heart every time looks into her eyes.
Lelouch's fingers wander over her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and he's desperate to feel that skin against his own. His clothes are suddenly a nuisance and he breaks away from her, shrugging quickly out of his clothes and kicking off his shoes. He hates the clothes anyway—the ridiculous raiment of the Emperor.
He doesn't even feel self-conscious when it is done, and he is exposed to her. After all, there is no one he is more comfortable with, no one he has a more intimate connection to than CC. For ages now the Black Knights assumed CC was "Zero's mistress"—tonight, at least, that would finally be true.
CC lies back against the bed, the silk sheets rustling lightly against her skin as she arranges herself on the pillows and studies him unabashedly. Lelouch crawls to her and straddles her prostrate form, holding himself over her with a hand on either side of her torso.
She reaches up and brushes her hand gently down his chest, her fingers tracing the hard lines of his muscles appreciatively. "Lelouch," she murmurs, her voice tender as the name escapes her lips. Something so simple feels more like an endearment to him, to hear his real name. It means everything for someone to know his true identity, to know even the blackest secrets of his heart and to accept him anyway. Not just to accept him, but to love him, too.
He descends upon her, resting his body lightly on hers as he captures her lips in another kiss, but a brief one this time. His mouth has work to do elsewhere. He trails kisses lightly down her jawline, her neck, over the perfect lines of her clavicles.
He moves his hand along her stomach and up under the loose-fitting fabric of the top. Her breasts are soft beneath his palms, and he brushes his fingertips of her erect nipples, sending a shudder through her body in response.
"Get rid of this," he commands her playfully, grabbing at the shirt. CC sits up and obeys, pulling the shirt over her head and stretching out lithely before him. Lelouch dips his head and showers her breasts in kisses, pausing to trace warm circles around her nipples with his tongue.
She moans out her approval, arching her back and pushing herself up and against him, grabbing at his hair as he lavishes her with attention. CC's cool demeanor gives way to her baser needs and she's practically panting with desire. Lelouch can't help but smirk. He's skilled at more than just battle after all, it seems.
He snakes his hand between her thighs, moving up the porcelain smoothness of her flesh until his fingers graze her sex. Through her shorts the contact is minimal but her hips buck the moment he touches her and Lelouch grins appreciatively at her sensitivity, at the power he is able to exert over her in this instance. CC is the only one immune to his Geass but in this moment he has her in his sway, and the thought excites him.
Unbuttoning her shorts, he tugs them off of her tiny waist, and she lifts her hips eagerly so that he can remove them entirely. When CC is totally naked before him, she is every bit as flawless as he'd imagined in his fantasies, better even. But it's more than that. Seeing her like this stirs his heart, because it's what he has wanted for so long, to be so intimate and close with her. Overcome, Lelouch is frozen in place for a moment as his eyes drink in the sight of her.
She sits up slightly, draping her arms lazily over his shoulders as she tilts her face to the side and kisses him, the taste of her lingering on his lips even as she pulls away and smiles at him almost shyly. Lelouch pushes her down carefully back to the bed and runs his hands up her the smoothness of her legs, parting them gently.
The lovely folds of her open up to him like a blooming flower and he's pleased to see that she's wet with arousal already. It takes considerable restraint for him to resist dropping his face between her thighs and licking her clean of every pearly drop right then and there; but instead he meets her eyes to study her reaction as he runs his fingers along the outside of her entrance with the faintest teasing touch.
CC's chest is heaving at Lelouch's ministrations and she presses herself against him insistently, needy for more contact. His violet eyes are calm as he keeps them steady on her hers, giving in to her body's unconscious request and sinking two of his fingers inside her slowly. She's delectably tight and the heat of her core makes his head swim with longing. He wants to focus on her pleasure now but already he's imagining the sweet release of penetrating her himself, of feeling her clinch around him like that as he buries himself inside her. But not yet.
While Lelouch's fingers slowly pump away inside her, angled slightly to search for her center, he positions his thumb against her most sensitive spot, watching her face as he rubs firm circles around the little nub. Her eyes widen immediately, her breath hitching as she writhes under his touch so dramatically that he reaches out to hold her down with his other hand, smirking at her in spite of himself. He's enjoying this, meticulously planning his sensory assault of her body as if it were the most crucial battle stage of all.
As he keeps up the motion of his hand, CC's breathing quickens, sweat matting her bangs to her forehead, and he knows she's close. "Lelouch," she gasps, "I'm going to—"
"Not just yet," he orders, withdrawing his hand hastily.
She sighs in exasperation, pouting like she does when he denies her pizza or makes her stay back as he runs off into danger. It's adorable, really, that she can still be so stubborn at a time like this.
"You'll thank me soon," he assures her with a wicked grin. Pushing her knees apart wider, he lowers himself down between her thighs. Laying on his belly, he slings her legs over his shoulders and positions his face right at her womanhood.
Lelouch glances up to find CC looking down at him in wonder. He's surprised to find her blushing scarlet at the sight of him there, so he winks at her playfully before setting to his task and licking up the length of her in one long, slow, motion. She tastes exquisite, of course, and he presses his tongue deeper, past her delicate pink folds. He opens his eyes to see her own roll up as she throws her head back and fists the sheets.
"Are you enjoying yourself, CC?" he asks teasingly.
"Y-yes!" she exclaims immediately, reaching down to grab at his hair, pulling him in closer, yearning for his touch.
"Good," he replies simply, lowering his face again and focusing this time on her most sensitive area. He's licking and sucking in earnest now, inserting his fingers again to give her something to grip on as he draws careful spirals on her sweetest spot with the tip of his tongue. CC thrashes under him, rubbing herself against his mouth feverishly.
He hadn't expected her to be such an eager lover, especially considering her normally quiet serenity. But he loves seeing her like this, entirely at his mercy instead of the other way around. Ordinarily, Lelouch is the one waiting for CC to guide him. Tonight, he holds the power. But it isn't the same thrill of power that he feels as Zero; no. This is better.
Now the payoff is knowing that he can have this effect on her. That he, Lelouch, can make a stunning, immortal goddess practically beg for him, that the enigmatic woman he's grown to love so dearly somehow loves him back. After her long struggle, CC deserves someone she can trust enough to love for real, and he cherishes the fact that it's him—that he can give her pleasure so acute that she lets go this completely, so vulnerable and beautiful in his arms. He's absolutely smitten with her. With that thought in mind he decides it's time to give her what she wants and finish her at last.
Lelouch closes his lips over her swollen nub and sucks gently, all the while crooking his two fingers inside her so that the pads of his fingertips graze the deepest part of her core with every push of his hand. "Oh, Lelouch!" she cries, her voice shattering as she comes apart. He keeps his mouth pressed against her as her body spasms in response, riding out the throes of her orgasm before he moves away at last.
He holds up his hand so she can see his fingers glistening with her release and licks them clean slowly. "You taste sweet," he observes, earning another blush from CC, who is satisfied and out of breath now, but her eyes smolder up at him, grateful and loving and asking for more.
He obliges, crawling up the bed and over her body, nipping at her right breast for good measure before leaning in to kiss her again. She kisses him back forcefully now, wrapping her arms and legs around him and moaning into his mouth as his tongue, still slick with her cum, presses against hers hungrily.
He's so hot for her now that his cock almost hurts, and every time it grazes her flesh he shivers with need. Sensing this and wanting to reciprocate, CC moves her hand to him and lightly strokes her fingers up and down his length before taking him fully into her palm and pumping firmly. The friction is dizzying, her movements expertly draw a sigh from his throat as he leans into her hand. Lelouch rests his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and relishing the feeling of her deft fingers working on him. She moves with the passion and experience of several lifetimes of lovers, but the tenderness of her touch tells him that it's only him that matters, only him that ever mattered.
She moves to sit up, placing her other hand on Lelouch's shoulder and trying to push him back on the bed. He knows her intentions—of course he would love for her to take him into her own sweet mouth. But he's too eager, too far gone now to give her control. He wants to shove inside her himself, wants to make her come again even as he takes his own pleasure.
So he pushes her back, and bringing his mouth to her ear he says, "Let me make love to you. Please." And then he whispers her true name, the name that only he knows.
There are tears in CC's eyes as she nods her assent while he positions himself and finally enters her, reeling at the welcoming tightness and heat. Before he can react to the heady pleasure of feeling her surround him, she moves her hips up to meet him in a tantalizing rhythm. He says her name again, his voice shaking with emotion, burying his face in her neck as she moves.
In one swift motion, CC grabs at his sides and flips them both over without breaking their connection at all. From her new position she has more purchase and rides him hard, anchoring herself with her palms on his shoulders. Her eyes are closed and her vivid hair is wild as she rises over him, clinching against his cock with every thrust. He gazes up at her, in awe of this woman and her ability to captivate him like no other.
CC leans down, her face hovering just over his as she picks up the pace, grinding into him. Lelouch feels the pressure building, knows he's almost spent. He'd wanted to make it last, to ravish her for hours and show her the very best that he had to offer. But when she'd taken charge like that he'd become putty in her capable hands. He raises his face to meet hers and kisses her as his thumb moves down to massage her just where he knows it will drive her wild.
"Oh, yes. Yes, like that. Please," she murmurs. Her pleas are all it takes to send him over the edge, and just as he gasps at the force of his own orgasm, he feels her contract around him and come again, too.
CC collapses onto his chest, panting with exertion, her body slick with sweat. Instinctively he wraps his arms around her and holds her, trying to catch his own breath. Lelouch can feel her shaking in his embrace. "Are you alright?" he asks softly, hugging her closer.
"Of course. I'm more than alright. I'm . . . very happy," she replies, her voice thick. "I just . . . It's a little overwhelming. I had given up hope that I could feel this way. I didn't think it was possible."
He scoffs, tilting her chin to face him. "Don't you know? I specialize in doing the impossible. Thanks to you."
"So do the impossible. Save yourself. Don't make this sacrifice and leave with me. We can go anywhere. Lelouch, I love you." A single tear escapes and roles down CC's cheek, but she hurriedly swipes it away.
He feels his heart could burst with affection for her, and it's hard to see her hurting. But he has a duty to uphold. He is still Zero for better or for worse, and must finish what he started.
"You know I can't do that," he whispers.
"I know," she answers quietly. "You wouldn't be you if you gave up now. Even so . . . "
"It will be alright." He's so desperate to reassure her that he almost believes it himself. Almost.
She doesn't believe it, of course. But it doesn't seem to matter in that moment. "Thank you for tonight," she says, that familiar even lilt returning to her voice as she snuggles against him, pulling the covers over them both.
"Thank me? You never have to thank me for being with you. For loving you."
"Mm," she responds blearily. He can see that she's sleepy now, content and sated from their lovemaking. She shuts her eyes, nestling against his shoulder. Lelouch reaches over and shuts off the lamp beside his bed, and then holds CC in the silent darkness.
For now anyway, he's the happiest he's been in his memory. But he loves her so fiercely that it makes the tasks ahead more difficult, for now more than ever he has something precious to lose. He reminds himself that his plan will protect her along with everyone else, and that alone makes it worth any amount of pain and uncertainty.
Pushing away thoughts of tomorrow, Lelouch is grateful for the warmth of CC in his arms and falls into a dreamless and untroubled sleep.
Much later, after it is all over, after CC watched Suzaku plunge a sword throuh Lelouch's chest, after she saw the life leave his eyes, after she cried herself dry while the world rejoiced at the death of the bravest man she had ever known, CC did not succumb to despair. She refused to let his sacrifice be in vain.
Lelouch had shown her a glimpse of a life full of adventure and excitement. He'd been the demon to her witch. He had loved her, really loved her; and he'd done his best to help her find a reason to carry on living.
She has a reason now: hope. CC witnessed Lelouch do the impossible as Zero, saw him defy the odds times beyond counting. In her heart she knows that even Death can't conquer her love. She clings to hope now that he can manage the impossible again—that his power will save him somehow.
He fulfilled their contract and then some—she couldn't give up on him now. And so, setting off into the countryside, exiling herself from the world that betrayed him, CC hopes that in spite of everything, Lelouch will one day find his way back to her again.
A/N: I was inspired to write this after the announcement of the Code Geass revival prompted me to re-watch the series. I haven't written smut in ages and I have actually never written Lelouch/C.C. so I hope this was okay.
Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated!