Fraser leapt onto the back of the van, gripping on for dear life as the jewel thieves tried to make a quick getaway. He could hear the siren of Ray's trusty Riviera just behind him. A determined look appeared on his face as he concentrated on a task that would be impossible for nearly everyone; balancing his immediate safety and predicting where the vehicle will go whilst also trying to come up with a plan to put the vehicle out of action without killing anyone.
His arms were tiring, but he forced himself to remain strong, in part because he didn't want Ray to have the grief of running over his friend. Having a positive influence on others had always been a great motivating factor for him, and he was grateful for this invaluable aid in surviving the danger of the job.
He saw a loose flag up ahead and managed to grab it in the split-second he passed it. Inching forward, he calculated the trajectory of the van, and put the flag over the windshield when there were no pedestrians to be hit.
As predicted, the van came to a screeching halt, throwing Benton through a nearby storefront. Ray rushed out, shouting at the criminals who gave up easily.
"Benny, you alright?!" Ray yelled as he was cuffing the crims.
Benton carefully stepped over the jagged pieces of glass and into the street. "I'm fine, Ray. You know it will take a lot more than that to get me down," he said with a reassuring smile.
He turned just in time to see a plank in the face by an unsuspecting tradesman who was moving to get a better view.
-0-
Blinking, he slowly opened his eyes to find himself in a bright room with beeps from various machines.
"Benny, thank God you're alright!" a man said who looked very tired. Benny? Is that who he was?
Hearing no response, the man continued. "You can survive being thrown off a speeding van and through vast amounts of furniture, but one plank to the face, and you're down," he said, chuckling.
Ben continued to look at him, confused.
"Hey, Benny, you OK?"
"Wh-who are you?"
Immediately, the man's eyes widened and he jumped to his feet. "Nurse!"
-0-
"OK, Fraser, the doctors say that there's only minor bruising despite your condition, and the Lieutenant has agreed to allow you into the precinct to help jog your memory since it's a familiar place for you."
"Oh? Am I some sort of criminal?"
Ray chuckled. "No, definitely not, Benny. Unless behaving in an overpolite way and dressing unfashionably is a crime, of course."
"Then what do I do here?"
"You solve crimes, with me!"
Fraser's forehead creased. "Why would I do that?"
"Because you have the time and you like to help your fellow man," Ray said cheerfully, opening the door to their floor.
A bit bewildered, Fraser wandered through the door. Immediately, all eyes were on him. A cheer started in the room, making him quite self-conscious.
Detectives Louis Gardino and Jack Huey came over to greet him.
Fraser eyed Louis up and down. "You really should burn that shirt."
Jack and Ray couldn't help chuckling. Louis bristled.
"Hey, Vecchio, I thought you said he wasn't in his right mind," Jack said, laughing, making an exception to the usual unconditional support he showed his partner. Louis gave him a withering look.
Ray prompted Fraser to move forward. They could see the black curls of the Civilian Aid worker. Elaine turned around, obviously nervous and shy.
"Hey, gorgeous," Benton said, winking. Elaine's eyes boggled.
"Alright, come on," Ray said with distaste, dragging a confused Fraser by the elbow into the Lieutenant's room.
The Lieutenant rose and greeted him cordially. "Welcome back. Do you remember anything, young man?"
Fraser shook his head. "Not really."
"Facts, figures, people?"
"It's like…" he closed his eyes. "… there's something on the tip of my memory, but it's taking me a while to figure out what it is. And when something does come to mind, it's like I'm guessing. But it feels like more and more is starting to make sense. Slowly."
The Lieutenant nodded compassionately. "Well, you take all the time you need here."
Fraser smirked. "Perhaps finding oneself is the ultimate detective work, anyway."
Welsh chuckled. "Looks like we'll be getting you back very soon." He turned to Ray. "And detective… I know that Constable Fraser is a good friend to you, but please remember that you do actually have a job."
"Yes, sir! And hey, if he turns into a criminal mastermind, that'll be two birds with one stone."
Welsh and Fraser both looked shocked.
"Er, thank you for your cooperation, sir!" he said, pushing them both out of the room. "What am I saying… I haven't had enough sleep…" he muttered to himself.
-0-
"Well, this is where you live, Benny."
Fraser stood rooted to the spot. Things were just going from bad to worse. He looked into this sparse room with no lock that had a weird-looking dog-thing bounding towards him. Thankfully it appeared to be friendly.
"Anything coming back to you?"
"Unless sheer terror was what I was feeling before, no."
Ray chuckled. "Well, have a nice afternoon, Benny! Some rest might do you good. I would give you my number to call if you need anything, but you don't have a phone."
Benton looked shocked. "Wait - you're going to leave me here? And we're friends?"
Ray smirked but didn't really look surprised. "Alright, alright, you can come and stay with us. Dief!"
-0-
Ray wandered into the kitchen. "You wanted to see me, Ma?"
"Yes, Ray. I wanted to say that while your friend is here, everybody must do what they can to get him hooked up with Francesca!"
Francesca jumped about, giggling and excited.
Ray rolled his eyes. "There's only one small problem, Ma - he can't remember her!"
His mother laughed. "Sounds like the perfect man!"
"Ma!" Francesca whined.
"Frannie, I'm saying this as a brother. You know you'll regret this," Ray said seriously.
She puckered her lips, not liking the way he insulted her desirability as a woman. "Ray, considering your reputation with women, I think if I do the opposite of what you say, I'll be fine." She walked briskly into the dining room, leaving Ray frustrated and his mother cackling.
-0-
Everyone at the table was quite shocked, as Fraser didn't seem to need any prompting at all to pay attention to Francesca. She was beaming and receiving his attentions with pleasure.
Afterwards, Ray pulled him aside in the hallway. "Listen, Benny, you and me are good friends, but if you sleep with my sister, I'll kill you."
Benton didn't seem too fussed about the death threat. "Why shouldn't I sleep with her? She seems to be attracted to me."
"You don't remember not liking her?"
He sighed. "Not really. She seems kind of sweet. And I just can't go on living someone else's life. I'm me, now."
Ray stared at him. "Well, just see if she likes you now as opposed to you before." He turned around and walked into his own room, slamming the door.
-0-
Francesca went up the stairs to see Benton leaning against the door of his room, giving her a smouldering look.
She let out a breath. There wasn't any doubt about his intentions.
"Would you like to come in?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said softly, nodding quickly and gulping.
Benton shut the door behind them, then embraced her from behind. "You're so tense," he said, cradling her.
She laughed a bitter laugh and tilted her head back. "That's because it's you!"
Benton raised an eyebrow, surprised and amused.
"You know what, I can't do this," she said breathlessly.
Benton looked confused. "Hm?"
"No, you're not you." She broke away.
"Well, then, who am I?" Benton said, trying to laugh it off.
She avoided the question. "But thank you," she continued with tears glistening in her eyes and a sad smile. "It's nice to be wanted… nice to know that if circumstances were different, it might have worked out."
She walked out with slow, trembling steps.
He didn't know who this Fraser was, but he was starting to get tired of him, of living in his own shadow.
He had to get out of here.
-0-
"Fraser?!"
Benton froze on the sidewalk and turned to see his friend outside the Canadian consulate dressed in a red uniform. "Ray?"
"Benny, what are you doing here?"
"Well, for some reason the only money I had in my wallet was Canadian, and they don't take Canadian money in strip clubs, so I just wandered around all night."
Ray's eyes bugged out. "Strip clubs?"
"I just wanted to clear my head, you know." Benton narrowed his eyes. "Assuming it's not already completely empty," he added.
Ray's expression continued to be a mixture of fear and horror at his friend's uncharacteristic behaviour.
Benton gave him the once over with his eyes. "Is this also what you do?" he said, squinting.
Ray's mouth contorted into a sarcastic smile. "No, Fraser, this is not what I do. I forgot to tell you what your job actually was, and when I went to your room, you weren't there. So I covered for you, out of respect for everything you've done for me in the past."
"You mean I do this?"
Ray nodded.
"You have to be joking."
"No, I'm not."
Benton chuckled. "Ha! Can you believe they make people do this?"
Ray's eyes narrowed. For someone who apparently had no memory of the past, it seemed all too similar to his own reaction to Fraser. "Listen, Benny, I drag my sorry ass out of bed for you, I expect a little-"
A guy walking by spoke up. "Hey, I thought people like you weren't supposed to talk!"
"Shaddup!"
The guy grumbled and went away. Fraser looked shocked.
It was obvious Ray's patience was hanging by a thread. "What, you don't think I fit the part either?" he snapped.
"You look like a true Canadian, Ray," Fraser said emotionlessly, still stunned.
"Thank you," he replied, slightly appeased.
"Not that I remember what one is like, of course."
"Alright, that's it – get in the car. Shift's over."
-0-
"Get him! Get him! He's got my bag!"
Ray looked up just in time to see Fraser run into an alley. He immediately dropped his bagel and followed.
"Ah, you got the bag. Where's the perp?"
"That would be me."
Ray's jaw dropped. "What? Have you gone insane?"
"Maybe. I wouldn't really know since I don't exactly have a frame of reference," Benton replied cautiously. He didn't look afraid, though.
"Why would you do this?"
Fraser shrugged. "Why not is really the question. That lady looked like she could spare the money and she was giving me the eye. I don't see why I should have to work all the time, without getting something back."
Ray stood there in disbelief. "Well, you know what, actually that is a good question. Why should one put themselves through hell for a thankless job. But is that really what's going on here, Benny? You just decided to wake up one day and take whatever you want?"
"Talking about the past means nothing to me. I can't remember any of that. As far as I know, I am a amnesiac criminal."
"Don't you think there's a few too many people who remember you?"
"Well, I'm this, now."
"Turn around and put your hands behind your back," Ray said angrily, taking out his cuffs.
Benton stood there defiantly, silently squaring off with Ray.
"What, so I have to shoot you? You'd better cooperate or things will get even worse for you."
"I'll take your word for it, Ray," Benton replied dryly, turning around and allowing himself to be cuffed.
"Here you go, Ma'am," Ray said, tossing the bag back to her.
They drove off.
"You didn't take her statement," said Fraser. "And we're not going to the police station."
Ray looked grim. "I don't understand how you know all this, yet you can't remember us."
Fraser sighed. "So where are we going?"
"I don't know."
Fraser looked at him in surprise.
Ray glanced back. "But what I do know is that I don't want to be the cause of your downfall. The system isn't perfect. They can't prove what you did wasn't because of the brain injury, and the charges may stick. And that would be unfair to you. So I figured I'd just drive around until either my job is put in jeopardy or we run out of petrol."
"I might prefer jail. Doesn't seem that much different to my life right now."
Ray didn't respond, looking slightly irritated.
Fraser's expression morphed into one of subdued resignation at his friend's tenacity. "How do you know I'm not being myself right now?"
"Because you'd put yourself under so much pressure for so long it couldn't just be an act. You've only forgotten the thing that caused you to act that way. A higher ideal, Fraser. I can't say I understood it myself. But you understood it. And I respect that."
"Without that memory… I don't like what I am…what I was."
"Well, I'd say that's a normal reaction. Not many people would want to walk in your boots. Makes sense that it would include yourself, too."
Ray pulled over, then leaned closer to Fraser.
"From what I see, you are the same person, Benny. But you've lost a piece of your past that shaped you… lost a part of yourself. So how about you just be yourself, right now, whatever that is, and don't worry what other people think, as long as it's legal."
Benton sighed, considering it, then finally gave a nod. Ray uncuffed him.
He couldn't deny Ray's genuine desire to help him, to set him free in more ways than one. "Ray, you're the only one who doesn't want me to be an exact replica of whoever I was irrespective of my own wishes."
Ray looked pleased.
After a moment, Benton suddenly doubled over. "My head… it's… something's wrong…" He fell forward.
Ray's eyes widened and he revved the car, heading at breakneck speed to the nearest hospital.
-0-
Ray was bouncing a small basketball at his workdesk, distracted. His eyes widened as he saw Benton approaching.
"Benny, how are you?"
Benton gave a slight nod. "I remember everything… everything." He looked like he was in a state of shock.
Ray's eyes widened and nodded back. He knew that it was such a big thing for Benton, and it was amazing how removing the past could make someone come to almost completely opposite conclusions about what was right.
Ray smirked and decided to lighten the mood. "Everything, huh? What did you have for breakfast this morning?"
Fraser narrowed his eyes, acknowledging that Ray tried to trick him with the familiar crutch of a question. "I had the oatmeal with extra fruit and you had the hospital eggs over easy with bacon rashers. You were about to reach for the pepper but hesitated, probably because of an issue with your liver, which most likely presents with symptoms of poor digestion and a slightly uncomfortable aching feeling."
Ray looked scared. "And you normally know this much?"
Fraser nodded. "Observation is key, Ray. Knowing the health of your partner helps when it comes to strategising in dangerous situations."
Ray continued to look at him, not believing what he was hearing.
Benton glanced downwards. "Ray… I wanted to thank you for not giving up on me when I was… confused."
"No worries, Benny. Hey, that's what friends do."
Benton smiled a sad smile, giving a look that he'd been living his nightmare and wasn't sure how to make it up.
"Hahah! Well, you came up with some good stuff – like how Louis should burn his shirt," Ray said, chuckling, trying to cheer him up.
"Mm, yes, I remember – in retrospect, I realise now that it does really does take a lot of self-control not to comment about someone's dress sense when they are obviously lacking, especially when one is confronted on a daily basis."
Ray was wide-eyed, knowing this comment was aimed at him. "Hey, don't think that I'm taking any fashion tips from someone who looks like a mix between a fire hydrant and a school crossing guard!"
"Looking good, Fraser!" Elaine said, obviously within earshot before.
"Thank you kindly, Elaine," he responded with proper genteel behaviour.
"Ughh… " Ray said, rolling his eyes at both of them. "OK, let's go get your stuff from my house. The sooner you're back in your little hole, the better for everyone."
-0-
Francesca seemed to have a change of heart, and was draped over the railings in front of the Vecchio family home.
"Benton, I was wondering if you could help me with something," she said, grinning, trying to be seductive.
"Of course." The response was polite and reserved, not emotionally appreciative like before.
Her face fell and she stood there in shock. "I… see…" she said faintly. Ray was looking at her compassionately.
Fraser continued looking at her patiently, smiling politely.
"Well, actually, I've started taking kickboxing classes and I wanted to know if my right straight was any good." With that, she punched Fraser in the stomach, causing him to double over slightly.
"Thank you for your help," she said, still disgruntled. She turned and went back into the house.
Fraser gasped, reaching out for the banister. "Ray, would you please pass on to your sister that I have high hopes that she will one day be an excellent kickboxer."
"Yeah, with the right motivation, that's certainly true," Ray said, chuckling.
END
Exploration on how the past shapes our actions, and how our perception of freedom in our choices can affect our decision making. (Fraser didn't want to be forced to act like he was before by those who knew him).
Perhaps the most out of character thing that Fraser did was to welcome the attention of women, but I thought since he liked to be good to people, he'd make them happy.