Akira hated being weak. Mados never give up on their fights. Even if they're losing a limb or so.
That was what her father said.
But Amon's presence beside her bed churned up the most unpleasant emotions in her gut. Her logical brain was telling her to run. Get up and run away. Away from this place crawling with ghouls and wannabe ghouls.
Yet her instincts told her otherwise. Something was supposedly happening. Something big enough to change almost everything. The lines were too blurred between simple good and simple evil.
Mado Akira wanted to murder someone. Or Amon. Or herself. Or everyone. Possibly the last one.
"What's in it for me?" Akira used her offical stern voice and internally smirked at the slight wince reactions she got from Amon, Takizawa and Haise.
She had refused to call Haise any other names and he had strangely accepted it.
Yet it evoked very different reactions in other's expressions in the room.
Hirako and Squad Zero had their own silent staring conversation with careful neutral faces. The ex-Gourmet freak chuckled in sick amusement while the four eyes clicked his tongue in irritation. The former Aogiri girl and the hard-eyed boy and a large man were all studying the waitress and her brother from re, but the prison escapee girl looked weary and torn enough to break down crying any minute now.
Of all the people to be surprised of, Akira had been most surprised by the siblings from the café re: . (Even if she now suspected they weren't actual siblings.)
The large man was like a giant wall of stone, his face neutral, sharp and jaded eyes, no unnecessary movements in his body language, he could be a veteran fighter, her instincts told her to be more careful around this man.
And the girl. She had never met her in person but knew what she looked like from a photo Shirazu had shown her before all of this.
("Sassan is crushing on this girl!"
He grinned as he waved around a photo on his phone at her one day.
"He was blushing and stammering and guess what?! He even friking cried! What a way to get a girl's attention. Sassan really is awesome!"
Akira chuckled. Since when did Haise had a crush anyway? The beautiful waitress in the photo was holding a tray, her pretty blue hair covering one of her eyes and not even looking at the phone. That means...
"And you just snapped her a photo like a true stalker." She smirked at Shirazu's horrified expression.
"I wonder if Haise knows that a stalker had a secret picture of his pretty café crush... Hmmm..."
"Akira-san!" Shirazu's cries were drowned by her own laughter in the lazy afternoon meeting room.)
She was smiling politely in that photo but Akira could see nothing similar in this ghoul. She reeks of great power, and quiet self-esteem. She also frowned at Akira's words but there was this loud grief and sadness in her visible single eye that made Akira's instincts question her presence even more.
As if they had some connection between them.
Haise sighed and looked at her with his openly vacant eyes, his face grim. He started "Akira—. "
But Amon beat him to speak first, "Akira, you must understand." He threw an apologic loom at Haise, who nodded in return. Haise even looked secretly relived that someone else was doing the talking for him.
That stupid kid.
Amon continuded to explain about the situation with CCG, the warshuu clan, the organization V, Furuta, the clowns,Kanou, the goats and basically why they were working together and were fighting for.
Akira wasn't one of the top investigators for nothing, and even if logic and reason demand her proof of their words (As if she hadn't seen enough proof herself.) She found herself accepting it rather well.
Then Haise suggested that she could just simply walk away, seeing as her weak body won't last an hour without the strange liquids that ghoul loving human doctor gave her.
Akira wanted to land him a Mado punch, and he seemed to recognize the look in her eyes as he shut up and another one started talking about how much of a big asset she could be, given her CCG experience and expertise.
But Akira wanted something. She needed something to keep her walking. If her father was here, he would start killing all these ghouls and not ghouls, and ask questions later.
Unfortunately, she had more of her mother's genes, both the looks and brains, just not that much violence.
But she needed something to drive her. Arima was dead. Haise is the one eyed king. Amon was alive and am a half-ghoul. Takizawa was also alive and half-ghouled. The infamous zero squad was under Haise's command. CCG was rigged from the beginning. She needed to believe in something now, since everything she knew were crumbling down.
Unexpectedly she made eye contact with the waitress and Akira narrowed her eyes at the quiet conviction in the other woman's eye.
"I can give you a purpose." Her voice was strong and stern, like she was in the military. Akira frowned as Haise stood in surprise and panic. The Aogiri girl also started mumbling nonsense, the boy beside her looked thoroughly annoyed and her fake brother tried to place a hand on her shoulder.
"Touka-cha—" "Onee—" "Aneki!" "Tou—"
All of which Akira and her ignored and had a silent eye contact conversation.
"Why?" Akira didn't bother to hide her hostility in her voice to a ghoul.
But this Touka brushed it off like she was used to it. "You're Mado Akira."
The entire room fell into a scary silence after that. Some occupants were studying others. Others seemed as they wanted to say something but knew better. And some others uselessly tried to say something.
Touka took a step towards her, and she instinctively grapped for her quinque, which she didn't have. Ouch.
Then Touka spared a look at Haise and stared into her eyes with a look like a fire just put out by a bucket of water.
"I'm the one who killed your father."
Hell if she could sit still anymore now.
As she sprung up from her seat and gripped the neck of the murderer, Haise jumped in fitst, then another bunch of people and ghouls. Akira vaguely noticed the ghoul not even resisting and the arms of both Amon and Takizawa pulling her back. Haise and the Aogiri girl pulled her from the clutches of her strong grip.
If only I were a little bit stronger, I could've break her neck in two.
Her brain began yelling this mantra at the back of her head, and she felt each and every muscle in her body responding to this battle call.
Her instincts whispered something like there is your purpose, she knew you'll be riled up.
She's doing it on purpose.
And she knows some other things too.
That you still don't know.
And just like that, Mado Akira became the heart of the central intelligence of the organization GOAT.
Each and everyday, she would be planning missions and strategies with Haise and others and yet her drive of passion never dried up, never ran out. Even if that girl rarely visited their headquarters and the coffee from her café is her lifeline for now.
One day I'll kill you with my own hands.
Akira swore in her mind as she glared with piercing eyes into the back of her bluish head. That pretty little ghoul who makes good coffee would sometimes came by and distribute coffee and food for both humans and ghouls and yet they never actually talked face to face again.
She wanted to be killed by you.
Akira glared at her third cup of coffee from that café with intense passion that Takizawa once joked that her coffee might burst into flames.
She gluped down the cup in one go, ignoring the burning toungue and the ecstatic taste she would get if she just savoured it.
But this is the same coffee that makes Haise smile a bit every time he took a sip. The same coffee Amon and Takizawa kept drinking while they try to assist her in the central intelligence team. The same coffee that the humans and ghouls here all equally enjoy. Even the real brother of that girl was dependent on this coffee,even if he always got teased about this by the Banjou guy who nursed her back to life and the Hinami girl fron Aogiri.
This coffee is the only one she can taste for now. Akira frowned. She was a full human and yet she was acting like one of the ghouls.
But then just now, she saw through the apartment window that Haise was having a conversation with the said ghoul.
Why is she important to him? I wonder.
The quiet smile on her lips and the way Haise looked at Touka as if his whole life was stored in her eyes made Akira's instincts flare up again.
They're so close yet so far.
The sound of the door closing made her turn away from the window to face Amon as he carefully stepped into the room, careful as not to bump his tray of coffee cups into the occasional old wanted posters nor the maps of Tokyo nor the files scattered all over the tables, the floor and the walls.
He smiled at her, and Akira felt her instincts glittering at his tired sincere eyes and gentleness of the smile.
So close yet so far,eh?
Akira smirked at her own thoughts as Amon raised an eyebrow while he put the tray of two coffee cups onto a safe area on the table. She muttered a nothing and walked towards him, not caring of the bumps or the falling of objects and files she encountered in her way.
Unexpectedly to Amon, she put both of her hands on his arms and her forehead on his chest. She felt him gone stiff from such bold physical contact, his arms hanging by his sides. Not quite embracing nor a hug, but this was just like an intimate touch to him as she closed her eyes and muttered a nothing again.
Amon had finally fought down the blush when she pulled away from him, her hands still on his arms. She smiled up at him, a real smile, so full of life and understanding of the things she never wanted to know about. Her instincts overwhelming her logical senses, as she leaned in for a chaste kiss to his jaw.
Then Akira laughed, as Amon stood there blushing madly like a teenager.
Just go over the distance then.
Touka and Kaneki looked up at the window at the sound of a woman's laughter. It was heartfelt and warm, and it even made both of then smile.
"Who is that sound? I don't think I know her." At Touka's question, even Kaneki chuckled as he recalled a recently old memory, a small squad and their superior acting funny crazy in a small office room.
"That's just because it's Akira." Kaneki thought Touka might looked surprised or confused at his answer.
But instead she just smiled.
The kind of smile that is both ethereal and beautiful yet so heart breaking and heart wrenching at the same time. Kaneki felt the broken pieces of him wanting to embrace all broken pieces of her, possibly clicking into place with each piece, maybe?
"Then I guess Amon is up there." Kaneki slightly frowned at the familiarity between Amon and her. Weren't they supposed to be wanting to murder each other or something?
"Why?" Touka blinked back at Kaneki's curt question. If her smile had made his heart break a moment ago, then now it was all burned down to ashes.
But he knew his place, he was someone she always regretted leaving, telling him to never come back, or for all the bad things she did to him. Even if he never minded any single word of her, and even better yet, cherished them for the golden memories he buried beneath the field of red spider lilies.
And yet the nostalgic look in her eyes almost made him wish he could turn back time and reconsider his choices and path of life in the past few years.
Almost everything.
"Did you know that Amon would came by re: at nearly closing hours and help around with the chores?" He never knew anything about that, and he was supposed to be the all knowing king?
Touka didn't even spare him a glance as she tucked her hair behind her ears, which is a habit he had been noticing lately and it never failed to take his breath away for a few seconds.
"He says he loves our coffee but I know better." Her eyes were twinkling as he held his breath for reasons unknown. Was it her eyes, her face, or her voice?
Or just her everything?
"He knows that Akira hate having to admit liking our coffee, since it is made by ghouls," she even struck her tongue out childishly and he smiled appropriately in return, and reined in his emotions not to run wild at the moment. "But the thing is, her diet is mostly our coffee and Amon knows well about it, so he makes it look like he's forcibly making her drink our coffee." She grinned a bit. "Such a sweet guy, and all that he talks is about her."
This is Kaneki's turn to blink. "What?"
Touka stopped talking and looked at him seriously. "What?"
"I'm the one who said what first." She rolled her eyes at his childish stubbornness, and sighed. "Maybe that's why you had to stay single even after all these years. You're simply just too dense."
"Touka-chan! I'm not that dense! I read romance books too! And lots!" His wounded pride was desperately searching for an emotional bandage.
Touka giggled and that was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "Real life is much much more interesting than some person making up characters on pages, you know."
Before he could stop himself from making more of an idiot out of him, he said, "It's not like you didn't stay single all those years too."
She narrowed her eyes at him, "What if I wasn't?"
He couldn't help it. He was sputtering. "What?!"
She smiled calmly, "What if I had a boyfriend? Or more? What if I'm already married? What if I'm already raising a child of my own from a douchebag divorced marriage?"
He could hear his own heartbeats in both of his ears. He was going into a heart attack. "But you never said you were! And I never saw you with someone else! Or new! And you don't have a ring or a mark of a ring on your finger, and—" he blushed when mumbling out the words too young or too beautiful to be a mother already.
Touka wasn't sure how to feel about the rumbling ball of Kaneki in front of her. A light teasing and there he goes again, all serious and insecure and unsure, and all parts of her love him dearly for that.
It had always been you and no one else.
Her laughter pulled him out of his emotional mess and the way her eyes twinkle reminded him of the stars he used to dream about when he was just a simple investigator and she a simple café owner.
"Two." Her smile was contagious and he couldn't even stop himself now. If she told him to cut his own head off, he would gladly do that in this single second.
"Three." The glint of mischievous stars in her eyes and his uncontrolled grin met halfway in their own galaxies.
"Such a greedy man." She fake pouted, "I'm not sure if three is a good idea. We might not even afford them."
"Why not?" His emotions were all on a roll today, weren't they? "Three sounds like just enough for me. And afterall, three kids are better than two, aren't it?"
She laughed freely again. And if her eyes are the stars in the sky, then her laughter is like hehe gentle rain, he imagined.
After all, stars in the rain shine beautifully in their own way too.