Dear Stella.
I never thought I would write you a letter like that. I have hoped that we would meet again. But it seems like that wouldn't happen so far. I know you've got much to do with your own lab down there in New Orleans and your new co-workers… But, be sure, I know how you feel. So… the reason I wrote this letter is because I have to tell you how I feel. When you were still in here in New York, I wasn't man enough to tell you. Now this letter is my only chance to open my heart for another time.
I know there have been hard times between us. I know there were good times. And that you were there for me, every time I needed it. I don't know if you feel the same about me. But I hope so. Now that you're away, I realize how much you mean to me. When you were still there, it was a kind of daily routine to see you at work and talk with you… and the way you comforted me. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe it was just because I was afraid of being in a relationship again. Maybe because I was afraid that I would lose you or you would leave me. I don't know. I'm also not good in writing this letters I'm writing now, but it has to be done, right? So let's start with the great memories.
Do you remember when we sat down by the water, after your first case and I put my arm around your shoulder the first time because you were so frightened that every case would be as scary as the first? I laughed and told you about MY first case. That was when you laughed, too, and began talking about your past and how you came to NYPD. I listened carefully and stroke your back while you talked about everything you could to get rid of it. Or the moment when Don and I were in that house which exploded and he nearly died. You comforted me and told me all the time that it wasn't my fault and I couldn't have stopped the bomb. There's also the one on Danny's and Lindsay's wedding. We held each other in an embrace and laughed and cried at the same time. Wonderful memories. Beautiful. But my favorite memory is the Christmas Party when the others posed as pixies. And we held each other in our arms. And that was the moment when you told me that you love me. You remember?
I love you, Stella. I really do. And I can't believe why I didn't realize that when you were near me that night. When you were right beside me. When you were in my arms and held my hand. I love you and forever will. Every night I can just think of your face and see how much I miss you. When you read this, I'm taking a few days sick off and buying a plane ticket to New Orleans. To see you again.
Love,
Mac