All he wanted at the moment was some peace and quiet. Maybe even a nap. But he couldn't brush off the anxiety of being in a different place - even worse, so far from home.
The boy was lost in his nervous thoughts until his plane landed.
The other passengers started moving around, leaving their seats and collecting their hand baggage.
The boy stood up nervously. Avoiding looking at the strangers, he turned to the person beside him - another boy, physically identical to him.
Stanford and Stanley Pines had been on a plane for hours.
Traveling to a different place and being around strangers made Stanford feel uneasy, but other than that, he didn't mind the flight. His twin, on the other hand, though very charismatic and social, was terrified of heights. The flight had been a nightmare to him.
The trip from Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, to Oregon wasn't a short one. Just traveling in general could be tiring, but Stan's fear of heights made it more stressful for them both.
Ford had tried to console his brother, but through the whole flight, he felt like people were giving them weird looks. Not only from the fact his twin was freaking out the whole time, but also because they were a couple of 12-year-olds traveling alone.
He called the flight attendants many times. The salted peanuts they had to offer Stan's comfort. He also asked for a bag in case the other had to throw up - in fear and also likely from all the peanuts he was constantly shoveling into his mouth.
"You can open your eyes now, we're back on land." Stanford's tone was slightly mocking, but he still put a friendly hand on his brother's shoulder.
"Finally!" Stanley gasped loudly, throwing his hands up. As they landed, he had been grasping at the edge of his seat, as if the plane still could crash at any moment.
A few people looked over, some frowning, some with reassuring smiles.
Ford felt his face heating up and tightened the grip on the other's shoulder. "C'mon, let's get outta here."
The twins grabbed their bags and finally left the plane.
Stan and Ford had now arrived at the sleepy town of Gravity Falls.
"Pa didn't really say anything what she looks like, did he?" Stan asked, as they disembarked. "How are we supposed to find her?"
"Well, he said she would have a sign with our names." Ford adjusted his glasses nervously. "And I was afraid to ask anything else. I don't think he likes her a whole lot. Wonder why he's shoving us at her like this."
They were going to spend their summer vacations with their great-aunt. That seemed like a decent plan - but having to be on a plane for so many hours, not so much. And they didn't know much about the woman. Aside from the fact that her town - Gravity Falls - was small without much to offer. It was probably going to be the most boring of summer vacations.
They looked around as they stepped off the airplane. They worried they wouldn't be able to find their great aunt, since they didn't know what she looked like. All their knew was that her name was Mabel.
To their surprise, they spotted her easily.
Mabel stood out like a sore thumb. Even in the most crowded airport ever, they couldn't miss her. She was quite old, probably in her sixties - gray hair and wrinkled features, but the most youthful smile they had ever seen on an old lady. And she was frantically waving at them. She also held a giant sign with their names written on it with glitter glue that exactly matched the color of her hot-pink pencil skirt.
Stan and Ford exchanged looks. She seemed very… Eccentric. Nothing at all what they expected from someone related to their dad, who was as tough as a cinderblock.
They walked up to her, trying to not look so tired and, yeah, a bit suspicious.
"Welcome, welcome!" Mabel dropped the sign, opened her arms and trapped them both in a tight hug. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe how much you two have grown!"
Stan wriggled out of the hug, gasping for air.
"Uh..." Ford stepped back, too, hesitating. He felt like they should say something nice, too. "Thank you for the sweaters?"
Most of their wardrobe consisted of hand-me-downs and other cheap clothes, but despite not having properly met them until today, Mabel always sent them sweaters and other handknitted goodies - those sure had kept them warm. Their dad would deliver the presents, but he never seemed interested in talking about Mabel, and they never worked up the courage to ask.
Mabel beamed at them. "Aw, don't mention it! But speaking of that..."
They noticed Mabel had a bag thrown over her shoulder, completely stuffed with yarn. She dug around in it and pulled two more sweaters. They were identical, pure white with "I (heart) GF" knitted across the chest.
The twins smiled and tried not to visibly cringe.
Mabel was still talking. "I was gonna say 'glad to finally meet you two', but we actually already have met! I was there when you two were born, did you know that? You two were so little!" Mabel looked up, clasping her hands, eyes sparkling. "Well, now you two can actually talk to me." She laughed and then crouched down to their eye level, arms crossed as she extended both hands for handshakes. "You probably heard it already, but in any case, let's do it properly this time! My name is Mabel. You can call me your Grauntie Mabel! It's like 'great auntie' but as a single word!"
Stan stepped closer and provided a strong handshake. He tried to appear tough, but when Mabel smiled at him, he couldn't help but crack a smile as well.
Ford, on the other hand, was definitely uncomfortable. He instinctively clenched his hands into fists. Stan took notice.
Ford was born with a rare birth defect: six fingers in each hand. Despite the fact that the two extra digits worked perfectly, it was the main reason everyone picked on him back home. Ford was always self-conscious about it when meeting new people.
Mabel, however, appeared to have seen it already - and she was still smiling. "Hey, don't worry," she said, her hand still extended. "A six-fingered handshake is just a full finger friendlier than normal!"
Ford blinked, then pursed his lips to hide a grin. He reached out and shook her hand as firmly as he could. Mabel smiled hugely.
"Right," Stan said. He slung an arm around Ford's shoulders. "So I'm Stanley, and this is Stanford! But you can call us Stan and Ford."
"Noted!" She stood up with a hop and began marching away. "Alright, let's go get your bags before they disappear forever!"
They ran after their grauntie, Stan sprinting like he hadn't been about to vomit two minutes ago.
"Hey, we can carry our stuff, you know!" He shouted.
Stan skidded to the baggage carousel, tying the sweater around his waist.
"Ford, c'mon!"
Ford stuffed the sweater in his carry-on and ran after him.
It didn't take them too long to find their baggage and leave. Ford didn't like the crowd and instinctively went to hide his hands in the pockets of his jacket - and remembered Mabel's remark.
A full finger friendlier than nnormal, he repeated to himself, and kept his hands out.
Despite Stan's protests, Mabel left the airport carrying most of their luggage. She was definitely fit for an old woman.
Ford's pride wasn't hurt as much as his brother's. As their headed out of the airport, he pulled out the new sweater to get a better look at it.
Stan, walking next to him, took one look and winced. "Ugh. Hey, since we're so big now, maybe we can request some cooler sweaters." He bumped Ford's shoulder playfully.
"Stanley!" Ford hissed, elbowing Stan in the ribs. The sweaters were pretty kiddish, but he liked them.
Mabel apparently overheard. "I'll consider it, Mr. Cool Guy," she called back. "Actually, I might have another surprise later! I was knitting while waiting for you two."
Stan groaned.
They finally made it out of the airport and started walking across the parking lot - towards an incredibly pink old-fashioned car.
"Wow!" Stan said. "That's a Cadillac DeVille, right?"
Ford half-smiled. He wasn't a fan of the color, but that model was his brother's favorite.
The car looked like it had seen better days. It was dinged and scratched, but Mabel patted the hood with pride. Stan couldn't stop gawking at it. This was partly because the interior had bright pink furry seats covered with gaudy stickers.
Stan hopped in and started running his hands over everything - the seats, the armrests, the ceiling.
Ford hopped in, too, while Mabel loaded their bags in the back of the car. He felt a little bad for not helping, but he didn't want to leave his brother.
Mabel slipped into the driver's seat and shut the door. "So?" She asked, looking at them in the rear view mirror. "Cool enough for you?"
Stan sat back and crossed his arms. "Eh, it's okay."
Ford smirked and Stan elbowed him.
Mabel grinned and dug something out of her purse - a pink fez with a golden shooting star on it. She rammed it onto her head. "Alright, kids," She said grandly. "And now- TO THE MYSTERY SHACK!"
"To the what?"
Mabel drove through the town at speeds that were probably illegal, but the boys took in everything they could. Most of the stores were pretty humble, but they spotted an arcade and a restaurant called Greasy's shaped like a log. Ford even caught sight of an elegant manor perched on a mountain top.
"What is that?" Stan asked, pointing, as they whizzed past a bright blue tent with a five-pointed star on top.
"Better question!" Mabel slewed the car around the corner and the tent zoomed out of sight. "Where can you find the biggest mystery in Gravity Falls? The Mystery Shack! Mrs. Mystery is my name and mystery is my game! It's the most famous tourist attraction in Gravity Falls!"
"Not that there's much competition to begin with." Ford muttered.
They turned down a dirt road and pulled to a stop in front of the Shack itself.
It wasn't actually a Shack. It was a wooden cabin - a pretty big one - which, by itself, Ford actually liked. But it was covered in wooden signs announcing the location of a gift shop and museum, with other eloquent advertisements such as "WHAT'S THIS?!" and "BUY HERE!". There were even giant red letters reading "Mystery Shack" positioned on the roof. Ford doubted there was anything more mysterious in there than a bobblehead.
Stan, however, instantly liked it. There was a colorful string of pennants around the border of the lawn, plus a huge totem pole ripe for climbing. He practically threw himself out of the car, eager to try it.
But Mabel was already unloading their luggage and carrying it to the door marked "Museum". Ford hurried after her, and Stan followed his brother, casting a longing glance at the totem pole over his shoulder.
"It's past opening time," Mabel was saying, "but for you two, I made an exception. Feast your eyes!"
Ford grimaced. "I see mockeries of science everywhere I look."
"Thank you, I made 'em myself!"
The museum was stuffed with Frankenstein monstrosities - rabbit heads sewn onto raccoon bodies, fish carcasses sewn onto monkey torsos, and a really weird looking double-horse thing with two bodies and no head. Not to mention jars of pickled eyes and photographs that definitely looked photoshopped.
Stan grinned. His brother was the biggest paranormal geek this side of the milky way, and he knew Ford was internally cringing at the fakery of it all. "Wow, Ford! I can actually see the life drain from your eyes!"
Ford groaned and elbowed him. Stan laughed.
Mabel, still carrying their suitcases, gave them a walking tour.
Stan's personal favorites were the Sascrotch (a Sasquatch in Tighty Whities) and a series of creatures with horns attached to their heads - the Beavercorn, Roostdeer. And of course the snickerdodo, a dodo made out of semi-edible snickerdoodles. Stan ate one. Definitely semi -edible.
"Behold, the antelabbit!" Mabel stopped in front of a taxidermied rabbit with antlers glued to its head. The glue was clearly of the glitter variety.
Ford raised a hand. "Don't you mean jackalope?"
"Antelabbit!" She whispered spookily, wiggling her fingers. One of the antlers of the antelabbit started tilting, probably from the glue giving up. "Whoops! And over there is the amazing poultry-geist!"
Mabel gesticulated towards something truly terrifying. The poultry-geist was a distressed looking goose poised to take flight, with a large sheet hung over its wings to resemble a ghost.
Stan stared at it. "Since when do those things have teeth? "
Ford nodded solemnly. "Geese are truly terrifying."
"And that's all for today!" Mabel announced, completing the tour. "TO THE GIFT SHOP!" She turned and led them from the room.
They trailed after her.
"Jackalope." Ford muttered to himself, shaking his head.
Stan held back laughter. "Hang in there, buddy." He said, patting Ford's shoulder.
Stan, personally, loved the museum. Their dad ran a pawn shop back home, and sometimes a stuffed penguin or two would turn up in their inventory, but this was way more interesting. She used glitter glue! And apparently people were buying it, hook line and sinker! He had to figure out how she was making money outta this!
They'd stepped outside and headed around the building towards the gift shop, when something large and pink caught Stan's eye. For a second he thought it was another car, but then the pink thing rolled to its feet and oinked. A pig.
It trotted towards Mabel, chuffing and grunting.
"Heeey, there's my cute little guy!" Mabel dropped the luggage and greeted the pig with open arms, hugging it tightly. The pig oinked happily.
"Um, little?!" Stan said.
Ford stepped back. "There's nothing little about that guy! You could ride that into battle!"
"That's how big pigs get." Mabel laughed, scratching the animals head. "And get used to him! He's mine. His name is Waddles. I call him that because he waaadles!" Mabel grabs the pig and made him wobble in place, shaking all its fat.
Stan put up his hands. "Yes, waddling. Very waddle, much fat, we get it."
Mabel laughed again and scooped up the luggage, continuing her path to the Gift Shop.
Stan and Ford attempted to edge around the pink.
Waddles sniffles the air, walking towards Stan.
Stan realized he'd saved some airplane peanuts in a pocket and the pig was trying to sniff them out. He put a hand over his pocket and glared at Waddles.
"Don't even think it, pal."
The Gift Shop had all the knick-knacks a tourist could ever want: keychains, bumper stickers, t-shirts, snowglobes, and bobbleheads that looked Mabel in her Mrs. Mystery getup. There were also shelves of glitter jars, sock puppets and "cat-icatures". A lot of them.
As they stepped through the Gift Shop door, Mabel whipped out a sketchbook from under the register and scribbled furiously.
"Tada!" she said, passing them the paper with a flourish. "It's on the house!"
They looked. It was a drawing of two kittens, one with spots on its cheeks and the other with circular markings around the eyes.
"Is this… Us?" Ford asked.
"At least she got your good side," Stan said, and Ford whapped him with the paper.
Mabel grinned. "You're welcome! Come on, I'll show you the rest of the house!" She grabbed their luggage from the floor and fairly skipped towards a door marked "Employees Only".
The twins went after her, Ford stuffing the caticature in his jacket.
The door led to a living room. The left side had a small table with a couple of chairs, there was an aquarium against the far wall, and the right side had an old armchair and an even older television. It would've been a pretty common room, right down to the old-lady smell, except for-
"Is that a dinosaur skull?! " Ford asked, hurrying forward eagerly. The skull was next to the armchair and had a pink doily draped over it, like a coffee table.
Mabel shrugged. "Who knows? Yet another mystery in the Mystery Shack!"
"Um, Mabel?" Stan asked. "You know you have a pink noodle in your aquarium, right?"
The tank held something that looked vaguely like a salamander, fleshy, pink, with frilly gills around its face. Stan tapped the glass.
Ford looked up. "Don't do that, they don't like it," he said, pushing Stan's hand away. "And it's not a noodle, it's an axolotl."
"Same difference."
The axolotl waved its gills at them.
"That's Nana! Adorable, isn't she?" Mabel blew kisses at it. "You guys can talk to her later, though, I want to get rid of these bags."
"The ones you're carrying or the ones under your eyes?" Stan asked innocently.
Mabel stuck her tongue out at him. "Be nice or I'll make you carry these monsters. Let me show you where you'll be sleeping and then we can make some dinner! Airplane food ain't gonna sustain no one."
She led them out of the living room to a small parlor in front of the Shack's front door. There was a staircase to the left, but it was too narrow for Mabel to keep holding the bags at her sides. She tried to heft one of them over her head.
Crick.
"Ow!"
Stan and Ford rushed forward and caught her before she fell. Stan's suitcase slipped out of her grip and hit him on the head.
"Double ow! Sorry." Mabel groaned. "I think my back's done carrying luggage for the day."
They grabbed their bags and the three of them went up the stairs - Stan and Ford grunting with the weight, Mabel groaning and holding her lower back.
The attic was divided into two main rooms: a storage room and a bedroom. The bedroom had two rather dusty beds on the left and right walls, one with an old wooden frame, the other just two mattresses stacked together. There was a large triangular window set against the far wall, with a dresser and an old oil lamp underneath.
"This is the only free room I have in the house," Mabel said, slightly apologetic. "but I tried to make it nice."
Stan let out a whistle. "It's huge. And I'm gonna have my own bed!"
"We have a bunk bed back home." Ford explained. "Also, I call dibs!" Ford ran up to the bed on the right, throwing one of his bags on top of it. The bed frame gave a screech.
"Suit yourself," Stan said smugly, dropping his bags on the other bed. A big cloud of dust flew up and he started coughing. Ford smirked.
"C'mon you guys, I'm hungry too!" Mabel motioned them out of the room. "You can unpack later, let's not starve to death."
The kitchen, like the rest of the house, was… Well, about as old as Mabel. The appliances looked like they predated the 70s, and there was even a wood-burning stove. By contrast, Mabel had apparently made the tablecloth, curtains, and dishrags herself - the bright pink was pretty much a dead giveaway. It was an eclectic combination of old, even older, and eccentric, but somehow it still had a homey feel to it.
"You two sit tight." Mabel nodded at the table, tying an apron over her suit. The apron read "Mrs. Good Looking is Cooking". "I'll have dinner ready in two oinks of a Waddles."
"Can I please have some water?" Ford asked, sitting down.
"Oooh, hang on, I have something even better! BEHOLD!" She reached into the fridge and whipped out a large pitcher labeled "Mabel Juice." "It's my own creation!
"Are those… Plastic dinosaurs?"
"And UFOs?" Stan added, squinting.
Mabel nodded cheerfully. "And glitter!"
She poured two glasses, left the pitcher on the table and then bustled off to cook.
Ford eyed his glass dubiously. He didn't want to be rude, but he also didn't want to die this early in the summer.
"Bottoms up!" Stan said, and took a huge gulp.
"Ack! Stan! Are you okay?!"
Stan smacked his lips thoughtfully. "Hmm… Sugary, caffeinated, nauseating. Also, HIYA!" He flicked a plastic dinosaur at Ford's face and it bounced off his glasses.
"Hey!"
Stan laughed. "Go on, Sixer, they won't bite!"
Ford tried it. His eyes grew huge.
"So, how is it?" Mabel peeked over her shoulder. "I put extra glitter today just for you two! And it's edible glitter, I promise."
Ford spat out a dice and rolled a three. "It's- It's- It's AMAZING! It's like super-creamed coffee mixed with Sugar-Flavored Soda! I wish I had this last year when I was doing that project on black hole uncertainties and needed to stay awake for a week straight. This thing could keep you up night and day!"
"Plus," Stan said. "dinosaurs."
Mabel laughed and finished cooking as the two of them polished off the Mabel Juice. Well, mostly Ford polished it off. Stan was more interested in fishing out the dinosaurs and having them wage war against the UFOs using die for ammo.
The dinner was stuffed meatloaf, which normally Ford hated, but something she did made even the vegetables taste amazing.
Ford finished his sixth glass of Mabel Juice and was about to ask for more, when Stan immediately handed over his own glass, which he still hadn't finished.
But Mabel took the glass away. "Hang on, kids, maybe you should get to bed. After drinking that much juice, Ford, you're gonna have a sugar crash in about 61 minutes and 8 seconds, and I don't want to drag your limp noodle arms up to bed. So get ready for sleepy time, alright?"
"Okay."
The two of them cleared their plates and then headed back up the stairs. Stan lagged slightly behind, one hand over his stomach.
"Meatloaf didn't agree with you?" Ford asked.
"No, no, the meat was fine. It-" Stan gave a small burp. "Ugh, Mabel Juice."
"You didn't like it, did you?"
"It tastes like coffee and nightmares had a baby." Stan said. "I only tried it 'cuz I knew you wouldn't if I didn't even though it looked like radioactive Pepto Bismol," He belched again. "which I could really use right now."
They didn't bother unpacking all the way, just dug out their pajamas and crawled into bed.
They'd been hoping to get away with just that, but Mabel checked on them and insisted they brush their teeth. Rinsing his mouth out did seem to make Stan feel better. Then she sent them back to bed and the two of them tucked themselves in.
Ford still wasn't tired, so he figured out how to light the oil lamp, pulled a physics textbook out of his suitcase and started reading.
After a while, Stan flopped over sleepily to face his brother.
"Hey."
Ford looked up. "Hey. It's weird being in separate beds, huh?"
"And not having you hang your stinky toes in my face?"
The two of them snorted, grinning.
"So… What do you think of her?" Stan asked.
"Grauntie Mabel?" Ford paused. "She's weird. I like her."
"Yeah, she's cool, I guess. Too bad, though."
"What?"
"Um, hello?" A sly smile crept over his face. "One word, my nerd: Antelabbit."
Ford groaned. "Honestly, what I wouldn't give for there to be an actual, bonafide mys- What was that?" Ford enhanced his senses as he heard noises outside. "Did you hear anything?"
Stan jumped. "Wait, what?"
Ford grabbed binoculars from his bag and scrambled to the window. "I think there's something in the forest!"
Stan sighed. "Poindexter, seriously. It's a forest. Probably just a deer."
"No wait, look, it's right there!" He spun around - the bed creaked horribly - and grabbed a flashlight. "YES! A silhouette! It's- Oh, no, it went behind a bush!"
Ford tried to jump out of bed and got his foot tangled in the sheets. He hit the floor face-first.
"That looked painful." Stan observed.
Mabel's voice came from downstairs. "Hey, some people are trying to sleep!"
They jumped.
"Sorry!" Stan called.
"Sorry..." Ford added in a mutter, pulling his foot free from the sheets.
Stan sat partway up on his elbows. "Look, dude, the Mabel Juice is getting to you. Just go to sleep, okay?"
Ford sighed. "Alright, alright. There really was something there, though."
"Sure, sure. We can check it out tomorrow or something, but I don't think we're gonna see much out here. Let's go to sleep." He lay down and rolled over. "Goodnight, Poindexter."
Ford settled back into bed with a sigh. "Goodnight, Stan."
BRX'OO VHH ORWV RI WKLQJV DURXQG KHUH. ORWV RI WKLQJV.
Fanfiction written in collab with tumblr user memeley and beta readed by redwoodroots on ao3! memeley's and my take on the Relativity Falls AU, includes canon episodes with changes but original ones as well. A short introduction first, Tourist Trapped is coming up next!