Wild Angels
…
Between the perfect world and the bottom line
Keeping love alive in these troubles times
It's a miracle in itself
And we know too well what that's about
Still we made it through, only God knows how
We must've had a little help
Must've been
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Watching over you and me
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Baby what else could it be
…
Bernie had done everything she could think off to try to help Serena recover from the death of her only child, her daughter Eleanor. Serena being the strong woman she was, she'd always say she was fine, she was coping, that she didn't need anyone's help. Bernie knew better, she's known her long enough to see past the wall Serena always put up to protect herself. Bernie had paid close attention to the way she'd been towards Jasmine the past few weeks and the younger woman was slowly crumbling under the pressure of being under Serena's charge. While their relationship had been going from strength to strength since Bernie arrived at Holby, the two women had never really admitted anything real, they had both spent many years protecting themselves from hurt, it was just the way they were but now to watch Serena slowly falling apart right in front of her, she just couldn't sit back and say nothing any longer.
Bernie found her in her office after their shift, a bottle of Shiraz sitting on her desk, already opened.
"Serena…"
"Don't Bernie, my shift's finished. I am allowed a drink."
"You are, but your office?"
"I don't really feel like going home to be honest."
Bernie closed the office door behind her and grabbed a seat, pulling it closer to Serena.
"I assume you have another glass hidden in there?"
"Has your shift finished?"
"Yes boss."
"Not anymore."
"Pour me a drink."
…
Well it must've been hard, it must've been tough
Keeping up with crazy fools like us
'Cause it's so easy to fall apart
And we still break each other's heart sometimes
Spend some nights on the jagged side
Somehow we wake up in each other's arms
Must've been
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Watching over you and me
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Baby what else could it be
…
The blinds had been pulled down a while ago, the door locked in case they were disturbed. The two women leaning against Serena's desk, as they sat on the floor drinking the wine. Bernie looked sideways at Serena as she looked ahead of her, her face blank.
"I know you keep saying that you're coping Serena but I…"
"I am."
"No you're not; this is me you're talking to now. You're my partner and I'm worried about you."
"What is it you want from me?"
"The truth."
"Not something I think either of us is very good at recently."
"I know, I know I have no right to get on at you but, this time it's different. You've lost you're daughter and you're grieving."
Serena looked down at the glass in her hand, taking a long sip and she chocked back a sob.
"Taking your anger out on Jasmine, it's not fair and I think that deep down, you know that already."
A small cry escaped Serena's lips as Bernie leaned over and gripped her hand in her own.
"It's okay." She whispered.
"No, no it's not. You think I don't know how I've been with Jasmine, I know I've been awful to her but I can't stop myself. I blame her."
"Serena…"
"I know I shouldn't. I know none of it is her fault, not really. I just keep going over and over in my mind, the events of that day. Jasmine herself admitted that she missed signs that something was wrong, if she'd been paying more attention to detail."
"She's a trainee and she's learning."
"MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD."
"I know, but it's not Jasmine's fault. If she missed signs then we all did. We were all around Eleanor at one time or another that day…even you."
"So I'm to blame."
"No one is to blame; it was just a terrible tragedy. A freak accident that shouldn't have happened but it did and now you have to learn to cope with that."
"I miss her so much Bernie….I miss my baby girl."
Tears fell down Serena's face as she looked up at Bernie, who quickly put her glass to the side and gathered Serena in her arms as she cried.
…
Wild Angels, Wild Angels There are some nights Must've been
Watching over you and me
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Baby what else could it be
I watch you while you dream
I swear I hear the sound of beating wings
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Watching over you and me
Wild Angels, Wild Wild Angels
Baby what else could it be
Wild Angels
…
Serena never loosened her hold on Bernie as her cries finally stopped, closing her eyes as she inhaled Bernie's perfume.
"I'm sorry for the way I've behaved; I don't even know how to begin my apologies to poor Jasmine.
"You don't need too; I'll talk to her….explain."
"No, it should be me. I can't believe how terribly I've behaved."
"Hey, look at me."
Serena finally loosened her hold and looked up at Bernie, who placed a warm hand to the side of her face.
"I love you so much and believe me when I say everyone around here understands what you've been through."
"It's no excuse."
"Let me be there with you when you talk to Jasmine, moral support."
"I won't say no. I'm sorry I haven't been the woman you've needed me to be lately."
"I don't need you to be anyone but who you are, you're my partner and I love you and I will always…always be here for you, through the good and the bad."
"I'm glad you're in my life Bernie."
"I'm not going anywhere, come here."
Serena leaned back in to Bernie's arms, for the first time in weeks, not feeling so alone.
…
-Fin