Star Wars Episode III: Dark Vader's Contest
After defeating Dark Maul once and for all and claiming the crown of the Star Wars Universe, Dark Vader moved back to his home on Mars and was elected King of Mars. This wasn't really called for since Mars is the capital of the Star Wars Universe, but Dark Vader accepted the kingship nonetheless. One day while he was entertaining various courtiers (namely his friends Chewer and Grandma Tarkin), he was informed by Admirable Ackbar he had a very important guest who was waiting to see him.
Dark Vader: Who could this be? I'm holding court!
Admirable Ackbar: Sir, it's Jawa the Hut!
Dark Vader: I see. He must have something important on his mind to come all the way from Earth to visit me. Tell him to meet me by the pool – it's too fine a day on Mars to waste the day inside talking about Star Wars politics!
Admirable Ackbar ushers Jawa the Hut outside to Dark Vader's pool. Jawa the Hut is clearly feeling the heat, as it is about 80 degrees outside and he's stuck sweating it out in a suit he bough from the Men's Warehouse. Vader, of course, uses The Force to dress appropriately for the weather. He is wearing a sleeveless "Reality Check" shirt and some swim trunks.
Dark Vader: Jawa the Hut, how long has it been?
Jawa the Hut: I don't know man, it seems like we lost touch with each other after 'Nam.
Dark Vader: So what's up, bro?
Jawa the Hut: Well, I've been having some trouble down on Earth with a rebellious faction of rogue Jedis led by that soldier of fortune, Lou Skywalker. It seems that he's recruited the remnants of the Rebel Alliance that you fought against in the Star Wars and now he's trying to establish a base on Earth! What am I going to do?
Dark Vader: Who is with him?
Jawa the Hut: So far Hand Solo, Hulk Hogan, Princess Lee and Bobby Fett have all sworn fealty to Lou Skywalker. The situation has become dire, my lord! We must act!
Dark Vader: Yes, we must, but I must also swim in my pool. Tell me, Jawa, do your kind swim?
Jawa the Hut: Yes, but I've forgotten my swim trunks. Do you have a pair that could fit me?
Dark Vader has a hearty laugh at the notion of having a pair of swim trunks that could possibly fit Jawa the Hut, and removes his trunks and shirt and goes skinny dipping. Jawa the Hut happily follows his lead, as he could not wait to get out of his suit in the hot summer heat of Mars. Dark Vader, Jawa the Hut, Chewer, Admirable Ackbar and Grandma Tarkin then have a cannonball contest. Dark Vader is disqualified for using the Force to do the ultimate cannonball, which makes it an easy win for Grandma Tarkin.
Just as Dark Vader creates a "Best Cannonball 2004" trophy for Grandma Tarkin, Lou Skywalker and The Rebel Alliance barge through the gate to Dark Vader's pool.
Lou Skywalker: It's you!!
Dark Vader: How are you gentlemen!!
Lou Skywalker: Mind if we take a dip?
Dark Vader: S'cool, we're about to fire up the 'cue.
Lou Skywalker: You mean the B-B-Q? Cuz I'm all about that!
Then Lou Skywalker does the best cannonball of all time to show how "about that" he is. He does this weird flip thing and lands right in the middle of the pool. Inspired by the Lou's cannonball, Dark Vader declares that man has reached his full potential in the form of Lou Skywalker, and hands him the crown of the Star Wars Galaxy. Lou is bummed because he'll have to move all his stuff to Mars, but Princess Lee volunteers to bring his laptop and his Nintendo, so he's cool with everything.
Later on he ends the Star Wars, so that's the end of the story.
After defeating Dark Maul once and for all and claiming the crown of the Star Wars Universe, Dark Vader moved back to his home on Mars and was elected King of Mars. This wasn't really called for since Mars is the capital of the Star Wars Universe, but Dark Vader accepted the kingship nonetheless. One day while he was entertaining various courtiers (namely his friends Chewer and Grandma Tarkin), he was informed by Admirable Ackbar he had a very important guest who was waiting to see him.
Dark Vader: Who could this be? I'm holding court!
Admirable Ackbar: Sir, it's Jawa the Hut!
Dark Vader: I see. He must have something important on his mind to come all the way from Earth to visit me. Tell him to meet me by the pool – it's too fine a day on Mars to waste the day inside talking about Star Wars politics!
Admirable Ackbar ushers Jawa the Hut outside to Dark Vader's pool. Jawa the Hut is clearly feeling the heat, as it is about 80 degrees outside and he's stuck sweating it out in a suit he bough from the Men's Warehouse. Vader, of course, uses The Force to dress appropriately for the weather. He is wearing a sleeveless "Reality Check" shirt and some swim trunks.
Dark Vader: Jawa the Hut, how long has it been?
Jawa the Hut: I don't know man, it seems like we lost touch with each other after 'Nam.
Dark Vader: So what's up, bro?
Jawa the Hut: Well, I've been having some trouble down on Earth with a rebellious faction of rogue Jedis led by that soldier of fortune, Lou Skywalker. It seems that he's recruited the remnants of the Rebel Alliance that you fought against in the Star Wars and now he's trying to establish a base on Earth! What am I going to do?
Dark Vader: Who is with him?
Jawa the Hut: So far Hand Solo, Hulk Hogan, Princess Lee and Bobby Fett have all sworn fealty to Lou Skywalker. The situation has become dire, my lord! We must act!
Dark Vader: Yes, we must, but I must also swim in my pool. Tell me, Jawa, do your kind swim?
Jawa the Hut: Yes, but I've forgotten my swim trunks. Do you have a pair that could fit me?
Dark Vader has a hearty laugh at the notion of having a pair of swim trunks that could possibly fit Jawa the Hut, and removes his trunks and shirt and goes skinny dipping. Jawa the Hut happily follows his lead, as he could not wait to get out of his suit in the hot summer heat of Mars. Dark Vader, Jawa the Hut, Chewer, Admirable Ackbar and Grandma Tarkin then have a cannonball contest. Dark Vader is disqualified for using the Force to do the ultimate cannonball, which makes it an easy win for Grandma Tarkin.
Just as Dark Vader creates a "Best Cannonball 2004" trophy for Grandma Tarkin, Lou Skywalker and The Rebel Alliance barge through the gate to Dark Vader's pool.
Lou Skywalker: It's you!!
Dark Vader: How are you gentlemen!!
Lou Skywalker: Mind if we take a dip?
Dark Vader: S'cool, we're about to fire up the 'cue.
Lou Skywalker: You mean the B-B-Q? Cuz I'm all about that!
Then Lou Skywalker does the best cannonball of all time to show how "about that" he is. He does this weird flip thing and lands right in the middle of the pool. Inspired by the Lou's cannonball, Dark Vader declares that man has reached his full potential in the form of Lou Skywalker, and hands him the crown of the Star Wars Galaxy. Lou is bummed because he'll have to move all his stuff to Mars, but Princess Lee volunteers to bring his laptop and his Nintendo, so he's cool with everything.
Later on he ends the Star Wars, so that's the end of the story.