Tell me about the first time.
Disclaimer: as always, the world of Star Wars is the wonderful property of George Lucas/ Disney and doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from it in any way.
This story is for Ness and F Maurice who've prodded me into action and the writing of another Star Wars story.
Rated T for sexual innuendo.
Luke was starting to turn slightly green. He felt as though he was spinning from a heady mix of Crathulan brandy and Corellian ale. Round him, the Rogues' tales grew more outrageous. Story followed story, each bawdier than the last. Stories that raised a furious blush on the cheeks of the simple farm boy from Tatooine. He sunk back into the sofa, hoping that his presence would be overlooked.
"Now, my first time, that was something special, had her screaming and writhing and begging for more, know whadda mean?" Wedge filled them in on the details.
"Hey, I kept it up for half an hour, got through positions you've only ever heard of if you've been to the Outer Rim."
"Outer rim, f'narr."
"Hey, Luke, tell us about your first time." Luke's invisibility had worn off, his luck had run out. Hobbie had homed in on him like an X Wing on a Tie fighter.
"Um, uh, it was nothing much, you know, just like most people's, I guess..." Luke stalled frantically.
"Hey, boys, you know what? I don't think Luke has had a first time yet!" Wedge Antilles guffawed.
"Poor 'ole Luke ain't seen no action..."
"N'ah, he might well be tellin' the truth..." All eyes swivelled to the dark-haired Corellian lounging in the corner, long legs stretched in front of him, boots crossed at the ankles. "Now, my first time, I'd 'uv been only a teenager, must've lasted all of 30 seconds, max. Any any of you saying different, well, I reckon you're lyin'. No one's that good without practice. The thing is, since then, I've got in lots and lots of practice. You lot, well, I reckon you're all talk and no action."
Luke shot Han an intensely grateful look.
"You're probably right about them," a cool voice said from the shadows. Luke realised Leia had been standing in the background for some time. He blushed even more furiously at the thought of what she had heard.
"However, much as I hate to break up your male bonding session, I need to talk to Captain Solo and Luke about the upcoming mission to Ord Mantell. If you'll excuse us, gentlemen," the Princess added, voice dripping with sarcasm. She ushered Luke and Han out the door.
"Luke's in no state to talk about mission details," said Han, sharply, as soon as they were out of earshot of the Rogues.
"I absolutely agree. He's in no state for anything but his bed, which is why I wanted him out of there."
"Hey, could you two stop talking 'bout me like I wasn't here," said Luke, petulantly, then staggered sideways, bumping into Han and nearly tripping.
"Easy there," said Han, putting an arm round him to steady him. He steered Luke down the corridor to the door of his quarters. "You might want a drink of water before you sleep," he added.
Leia palmed the door open, and Han deposited Luke on the bed. The comment about water seemed to have passed Luke by, so Leia fetched a glass and put it on the cabinet next to him. The two exchanged an amused glance before leaving an already slumbering Luke, closing the door behind them.
"So, you wanna talk about Ord Mantell, your Worshipfulness?" Han asked. "I hear it's kinda romantic this time of year, that is if you can stay clear of the Imps and the blaster fire." Leia rolled her eyes in response.
"You know what, I think I'll pass. I'm headed back for some sleep too. It's been a long day."
"I'll walk you back to your quarters. Don't want any drunken Rogues thinking they can get frisky."
"I think I could handle them," Leia shot back.
"I'm sure you could. It'd take more of a man than any of them to melt the Ice Princess." Despite the words, Han's tone of voice was playful. "Talking of which, if you want the sort of first time that leaves you writhing and screaming for more, I'd be happy to oblige."
Leia hit the panel on the wall, then turned back to Han as her door slid open. She reached up and patted his cheek, a smile playing on her lips.
"Tempting as your offer is, I'm afraid it's a few years too late." With that, she turned and disappeared. Han was left facing the blank metal panel of the door as it shut behind her. For once in his life, he was speechless.