A/N: I took a huge break from writing fan-fiction it has something to do with the fact that it was consuming my life, but its mostly because junior year SUCKS! Anyways, I'm back in ff world, I'm excited that Degrassi's back, and disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
Something you should know about this story: I'm disregarding everything that happened on season 11, because I'm stuck on season 10 EClare perfection. Enjoy!
Chapter 1:
"You two have a project due tomorrow and I don't mean to intrude, but I'm not seeing much progress. Is everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine. It will be great."
"Okay," Ms. Dawes shrugged, "I'm just warning you, you guys made it to advanced writing 2.0, but you can easily get dropped. This class is a lot more serious than last year's keep that in mind. There are a lot of students who would love your spot in AWT."
"I-I'm sorry."
"It's just a warning; you and Eli set your differences aside. Figure it out."
"We will."
"Bye Clare."
Ms. Dawes left Clare standing by herself in shock; Clare had pursued her spot in this class since her first year at Degrassi, and now it was in jeopardy because of her writing partner. The thought irritated her, and in a sudden rush of annoyance she found herself speeding towards the school's parking lot. She sighed in relieve when she saw Eli standing by the gates still waiting for his dad to pick him up.
"What is wrong with you?" she demanded heatedly as she approached him, "Are you trying to make us fail?"
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." He responded coldly, and then added "I no longer have to censor myself in front of you." when he saw her cringe at his foul language.
"I never knew it was an act, I thought you were just a gentleman." She said softly as she fiddled with her fingers shyly.
Her words staggered him a little bit. "It was never an act; I was just willing to do anything for you."
They stood there in a silence that was neither awkward nor comfortable.
"What did you come here for?" he asked finally.
"Ms. Dawes warned me that we're doing poorly in AWT, she said our project doesn't seem to be making progress."
"Your point?" he raised his eyebrows.
"I don't want to get kicked out of AWT!" She said exasperated.
"You won't. I'll handle my half, you handle yours."
"How much can I trust that?" she challenged crossing her arms.
"It's not a matter of trust." He said coldly, "Not everything is based on trust, you should know that."
"Well I'm just saying," she spat out quietly, "You haven't been keeping up with your half, and maybe you need to sort out your priorities."
"Oh really?" he scoffed.
She braced herself mentally. Time had accustomed her to Eli's sarcasm, but right now there was an unpleasantness in his tone that made it obvious to her that she was about to get insulted.
"Sort out my priorities?" he mocked incredulously, "Is that the advice I'm getting from someone whose priorities change with the seasons? Did you forget how you broke up with me Clare? Do you not recall your little overused rhetoric? Growing apart! Priorities? Someone who went to a stupid dance instead of being there when I needed them the most is lecturing me about priorities?"
The deadly stillness that fell upon them lasted only a few seconds because just then Bullfrog had pulled up next to Eli. He entered the car murmuring "I'll handle my half."
"Send it before midnight." She managed to whisper.
"I'll send it when it's done."
"Clare would you like a ride to your house?" asked Bullfrog.
"No thanks Bullfrog." She responded with a puny smile, "I'm uh, staying after-school today. I don't get out till very late."
"Oh, well be careful out there Clare. It's very dangerous."
"I will. Goodnight then." She started to walk away slowly as Bullfrog drove away.
"Eli, what did you say to Clare just before I arrived?"
"We were discussing a project that's due tomorrow."
"But you didn't say anything hurtful, did you now? She looked seconds away from tears."
"Sparing Clare's feelings is no longer a concern of mine." he said apathetically.
Clare made her way to the front doors of Degrassi without ever looking up from her hands. Eli never looked away from her; he stared out the window during the whole ride even after she was out of sight, as to not give himself away to Bullfrog, but the whole time it was about her.
Bullfrog noted this.
He sent her his project at 7:54 and she sent his hers at 8:00, he suspected that she had been done beforehand and was just waiting to receive his first.
Curious to him, her e-mail had been sent from a school computer as indicated by the bottom of the message. He waited half an hour before replying: It has no errors. No alterations needed.
She replied: Same.
It was now 8:47, and again she had reached him through a school computer.
What he did next would bother him for the coming hours. He couldn't explain it to himself after he went through with it. The best he could manage was that his mind went into a frenzy, and a crazy compulsion crept into his being.
In about 15 minutes he was on his bike at Degrassi's parking lot. He wasn't sure what to do once he reached the school, and that's when he became aware of how ridiculous he was being.
Either way, he looked around for Clare while hating himself for it.
You don't care. Why are you here you dumb-ass?
He almost gave in to himself and left, but then he caught a glimpse of her silhouette moving around the edges of the rooftop.
His heart nudged his chest. It was partly because she looked like she was going to jump off or fall from the building, and partly because being around her made him this way. Even after all the fucking bullshit.
He sighed, dropped his bike and, though he despised himself in the process, made his way towards the side of the school where he stood on the dumpster and quietly climbed towards the top.
When Eli finally settled on the smooth pebbles that covered the rooftop, he looked around for Clare until finally he spotted her a few meters away. She was retreating from the ledge as she approached what he made out to be a sleeping bag. He stared at the sleeping bag in surprise, and with even greater shock he saw that next to it was a small suit-case, Clare's book-bag, and a teddy bear. His jaw dropped.
Unable to move, he was forced to watch her as she relaxed herself onto the sleeping bag and drifted into her dreams. Part of him maintained that while he was immobile at the precise moment she fell asleep, he probably would have watched her do so at will.
Once his mind had digested that Clare was, most-likely, living on the school roof, he slowly approached her. She was in sound slumber, and although aware of her deep-sleep habits he took gentle steps around her, his feet barely stroking the gravel. Careful you crazy coo-coo head; you shouldn't even be here in the first place!
He watched her and instantly regretted it. Her face was a roller-coaster to him, as cliché as he thought it was, that was the most accurate depiction of what it did to him. It was a roller-coaster because it journeyed him to heaven when he looked at it, and then it sent him diving into hell. When he looked at it angels and demons collided at the core of his soul, causing his insides boil like the fire from the underworld, and his exterior to freeze like the cold barrier of a windy sky.
In no time, he was wedged between love and hate, bliss and anger, happiness and melancholy. It strangled him in a slow seductive manner until he finally had to retract his eyes from her face. It wasn't until he did so that his mind was free, and it wasn't until then that he realized that his jaw was clenched, his breathing was heavy, and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He felt awkward now, alone there in the roof with Clare. He couldn't endure the pain of looking at her, which is why he upheld an unfriendliness towards her. But she was asleep right now so he couldn't be mean to her, if anything watching her sleep would weaken his vulnerability.
He paced back and forth, still cautious about the noise emitted by his steps, unsure of what to do.
Think Eli think!
He finally sat down against the gated building-top entry and sighed in defeat, his brain was slowly abandoning him.
You are crazy, how dare you come here for Clare, you idiot!
He looked at her face again before he could think twice about it and this time, in his drunken exhaustion, he only felt the tranquility of that roller-coaster.
"It's not- it's" he breathed in slowly, his sleepiness invading, "I'm not still-" his voice broke into a silent desperate cry, "still… in-love with you Clare am I?" he sobbed miserably.
In a matter of minutes, with tears on his cheeks, he had sailed into his dreams as well.
Reviews and subscriptions are much appreciated! :] (This includes constructive criticism but excludes being mean/a troll.)