Severus and Lily - When I was Your Man

'Shame there but it feels just a little bit bigger now/ our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same/ when our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down/ cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name/ it all just sounds like ooooh ooh ooh ooh oohhh'

Severus scowled as he watched from afar, the girl he loved was walking with the man he despised, holding hands, and oblivious to the world around them. It angered him that he could make her smile while he couldn't.

He was angry because that should've been him walking with her, smiling and laughing without a care in the world. He growled lowly as he watched them, wondering where it was that he went wrong.

'Too dumb, too young to realize/ that I should've bought you flowers, and held your hand/ should've gave you all my hours, when I had the chance/ take you to every party, 'cause all you wanted to do was dance/ Now my baby's dancing, but she's dancing with another man'

-Fourth Year-

A younger Severus walked down the hall with a red-head bouncing next to him, a smile on her face as they walked down the hall. Though the smile slowly slipped, as every time she went to grab his hand, he moved it away from her, and out of her reach. Eventually, the red-head gave up, and sighed, folding her arms over her chest. She did it every day, and Severus was never too sure why. They were dating, but he didn't see why he had to display it.

~a few months after~

The red-headed girl bounded through the halls, looking for her dark-haired boyfriend. She skidded around corners and dashed down halls, until she came across the room she knew he would be in. Slowly, she pushed open the door and crept into the room. She closed it softly behind her, and leaned against it, observing the boy she was growing to love.

Emerald eyes sparked, as she walked over to the boy, "Sev?"

The dark-haired boy lifted his head from the cauldron in front of him slightly to see her, "Yes, Lily?"

"Have you been in here all day? That's not good for you Sev, it's nice out, come outside with me, and we'll relax under our tree. And there's a Hogsmead trip tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me," Lily said as she stood in front of the cauldron.

Severus sighed as get shook his head and returned his gaze to the potion he was working on, "I can't Lily, I need to stay here and work on this potion, and it's very delicate. If I leave it for just a moment, it'll be ruined. Why don't you just go with one of your friends?"

With his face in the cauldron, he missed the hurt and pain that flickered across the young girls face, "A-alright, I guess I can go with Alice then..."

Severus gave a small nod as his mind returned to the potion. Lily sighed softly and shook her head as she made her way to leave the room. At the door, she turned back and gave her boyfriend a sad look, before she finally left the room.

...

Valentine's Day, and the Great Hall was decorated in shaped of pink, red, and white. Severus scowled as he made his way over to the Slytherin table.

Lily, on through other hand, was smiling as she made her way to her table. It was her and Sev's first Valentine's, and she was nervous and anxious, she wondered if Sev had gotten her something, when the dark-haired boy that was James Potter stepped out in front of her. She scowled; Potter was the bane of her existence, always trying to get her to go out with him. It annoyed her to no end.

James held out a small box and a single long steamed rose, "Happy Valentine's day, Lily. It's ah, perfume, light and summery, just like you."

Lily blinked as she looked at the gifts before her. With a very small smile, she took them, "Thank you, Potter," and walked over to her spot.

Throughout the day, boys and girls alike, were showered with gifts, presents, flowers, and singing grams. Everybody but Lily, that is. As she made her way to the Great Hall for dinner, her eyes were downcast, and emerald eyes were sad.

Sev didn't get her anything. He forgot. He didn't even say 'Happy Valentine's day' to her. It broke her heart that the only gift she received was from a boy that she despised. Lily sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes before entering the Hall, and walking over to her table.

...

It was nearing the end of the year, and the school was having its annual, end of the year dance. Lily so desperately wanted to go; she had already picked out a dress, pale blue, with a small slit up her leg, and silver shoes to match. She was just waiting for Sev to ask her.

As the event drew near, she became impatient and went off to find him. She found him in his secret room, making another potion.

"Sev," she said as she stepped into the room, "the end of the year dance is this weekend, are we going or not?"

"Lily, I can't make it, this potion is in its final stages, but one wrong thing and-" he started.

"It could go wrong," Lily sighed as she finished his sentence.

"Fine, I guess I'll just go by myself then, won't I?" she snapped as she left the room, in a flurry of angry red hair.

As she made her way back to her common room, she was stopped by Potter. The dark-haired boy saw her immediately, and he started walking towards her.

"Evans!" he cried out. She slowed down until he was able to catch up to her.

"I was wondering, if you wanted to go with me to the dance?" he asked, his blue eyes sincere.

Lily blinked as she thought back to Sev. There was no way he would ever take her to the dance, and she really didn't want to go alone...

She looked at him with a small smile on her lips, "I would love to, Potter. Meet me at the Grand Staircase?"

He looked at her, a genuine smile broke across his face and he nodded, "Yeah, of course."

And he did, the night of the dance; he was waiting for her at the foot of the staircase, wearing well-fitting dress robes. He looked at her like she was some sort of goddess as she descended the stairs, causing a small blush to dust her cheeks. He took her hand in his, and they made their way to Great Hall, that had been transformed into a dance hall.

Neither party noticed Sev, who was standing in the far corner as hurt and anger crossed his face. He had realized too late that he should have taken Lily. He sighed and hung his head as he slowly made his way out of the hall, as his Lily danced around with that annoying Potter.

'My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways/ caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life/ now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made/ and that haunts me every time I close my eyes/ and that all just sounds like oooh ooh oh oh oooh/ Oh, too young, too dumb to realize, that I should've bought you flowers, and held your hand/ should've gave you all my hours, when I had the chance/ take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance/ now my baby's dancing, but she's dancing with another man'

-Fifth Year-

Why did it have to be him? Why was he the source of Potter's amusement? Currently, Severus was being jinx by him when Lily stalked over.

"Leave him ALONE!" she shouted.

James blinked and looked over as he saw her, and lowered his wand slightly, "All right, Evans?"

"Leave him alone," she repeated, looking at James with disgust and disbelief. "What's he done to you?"

"Well... It's more the fact he exists, if you know what I mean..."

People around them started to laugh, anxious Severus was getting angry, slowly the Impediment Jinx was wearing off, and he was inching towards his wand, as Lily continued to scold Potter, "You think you're funny, but you're an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I don't think I will, Evans, I for one think I am damn hilarious, and everyone around agrees. But, I might stop, if you go to Hogsmead with me," James said.

Lily scowled, "I wouldn't go with you even if you were the last man on earth!"

"Oh, bad luck, Prongs," Sirius, James' best friend said, "Oy!"

But it was too late; Severus had his wand and flicked it, causing a cut to appear across James' face. The other boy scowled and flicked his wrist and Sev went into the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal his scrawny pale legs, and graying underwear.

Many people in the crowded around them applauded, while Sirius and Peter laughed their heads off behind James.

"Put him down!" Lily shouted at James.

"Certainly," James said as he flicked his wand and Sev crumpled to the floor. Quickly, he tried to pull his robes together, when Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Sev fell over, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, she now had her wand out as well, and she had it aimed at both James and Sirius.

James tutted, "Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed and muttered the counter curse.

"There, you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellius-" James started only to be cut off by Severus.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he snapped glaring at James.

Hurt flashed across Lily's face before she quickly schooled her features and said coldly to him, "Fine then, I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I was you, Snivellius."

'Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say that, I was wro-oo-oong/ oh, I know I'm probably much to late, to try and apologize for my mistakes/ but I just want you to know/ I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand/ give you all his hours, when he has the chance/ take you to every party cause I remember how much you love to dance/ do all the things I should've done, when I was your man/ do all the things I should've done, when I was your man...'

Severus sighed as he opened his eyes, trying to block out the onslaught of memories that attacked him when he closed them. He regretted the day he called her a Mudblood fiercely, but she wouldn't hear a word of it, and broke up with not to long after that incident.

The following year and a half, he watched her get pestered by Potter, until he finally convinced her to date him. Now they were at the end of their Seventh Year, and they were walking happily together, while Sev stood in the shadows, angry and regretful.

He watched as they stopped walking and James kneeled down and pulled out a small box. Even from where he was, he could see the happiness on Lily's face as she nodded. He could even see the happiness on James' face as he slid the ring on her finger and pull her in for a kiss.

Severus sighed and looked down, if he had just done what Lily had asked of him, that would be them, he would be proposing to her, and they would be getting married. Severus shook his head, but that would never be, because he was a Death Eater, and his life was much too dangerous for her. So he stood there, and watched as he silently gave her his blessing. Potter would be better for her, he would be able to provide for her, and he would be able to give her the little things he never could.

Slowly, he pushed off the stone wall of the school and looked at the woman he loved and whispered, "I'm sorry, Lily," and he slowly trudged into the building one last time.

...

Lily was sitting on the couch of her new home with James, flipping through a book when an owl tapped on the window. Curiously, she walked over and opened it. The small barn owl dropped a letter in her hand before quickly taking off again. Lily closed the window and walked back over to the couch as she opened the letter.

'Lily,

I'm so sorry for everything that happened to us during school. I was too dumb, too young to realize that I should have bought you flowers, and held your hand. That I should've have given you all my hours, when I had the chance, and taken you to every party, because all you wanted was to dance. I know it's too late now, but I just wanted to say that I know I was in the wrong.

I hope Potter is treating you right, and giving you the little things I should have. I hope he brings you flowers, and holds your hand. I hope he spends all his time with you, all that he can. I hope he takes you to every party and dance, because I know how much you love to dance. I hope he does everything I should have done, when I was your man.

Lily, I'm sorry, for how I treated you, and how we ended things. I just wanted you to know, that I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming nuptials. I know you won't forgive me, and I'm not asking that you do. I'm just saying... that I'm sorry, for everything.

Severus'

Lily collapsed onto the couch and placed a hand over her mouth, as tears pricked the back of her eyes. She couldn't believe what Severus wrote, of course she had forgiven him, she had done so ages ago. As she read the letter again, tears started to fall from her eyes, as she felt the love in the letter and the hurt.

"I forgive you, Sev," she breathed out.

A/N: this was one of the saddest one-shots I have ever written, it's all mushy and gushy and full of feels, least it was when I was writing it... It's inspired by Bruno Mars' song, When I Was Your Man.

I wrote the entire story listening to the song, it came to me one day, while I was in the car listening to it, that it would be a good song for Severus and Lily, so, that's how this came about. I hope you all enjoyed it, and can understand where the story was coming from.

Til next time,

Azzie 3