AN: I FIEXED IT ALL! ITS GOOD NOW!

Once upon a time there was a ninja named sage .

She waz the prettiest ninja of them all.

Because of that one say the Hokage of the village (Before she was Hokage) sent her off on a super secret mission to seduce a really hot prince who couldn't love anybody after his parents died.

She had to make him live her to become a powerful ninja.

She randomly walked off into da desert in hopes that one day she could land inside ds pal ace to find da weirdo Rand she though waz rly hawt and cool and awesome and she rly wanted to met him so she could see him an se duct him.

She ran into her old friend Gaara. He was on a mission and he was on the Way to the palace as well because he had a mission to make treaty with da prince as swell.

Gaara said. "Hello, Sage, it is so good to see yo" And sage, said, Oh gaara, how is the one tailed beast treating you?" And Gaara said, "Oh, it is fine, I can now sleep without killing people." And sage said "that is wonderful!" And then they was happy. They went on there way ogether.

And sage said, "Oh, by the way, I have the ten tailed domen wolf in me! Did you know that?"

And then Gara said, "I had no idea!" And then Sage said, "I know, isn't it so cool!"

Gaara said "lets have them talk!"

"Okay," said sage.

Then they talked and then they were friends and then the akatsuki showed up.

My eyes gezed upon akatsuji and I wuz blinded butt dere sheer bwty.

I fell to da grownd in front of there feet and yelled to them, seraneding dem with my spontaneous saxyphone (don't ask how I get it it just waZ DRE OKAY GOD) One of them took my saxyphony and threw it of the cliff dat hapnded 2 be there.

I cry so hard me eyes began to drip with pools of blood and den fell out.

"IM BLIND YOU IDITS ND U KILT MY SACPHONY I H9 U YOU…. YOU …U … BUTTHEAD!" I CURSE AT Them.

I heard them gasp though I couldn't see deem bc I was blind bc my eyes fall out just a seconds ago.

One of them kick me in the eyebrow and I cry again.

I felt around the ground for my "eye balls but one of them kicked them around like a baseball.

They started playing a game with my eyeballz and I could feel dem being thrown into de air.

On of them ook pity on me and shoved my eyeball back into my head. I could sea!

Gaara foud, me, yelling at them to go away. "Why u so mean to Sage?! I'm the real won you want! Leaf her along!" Tears fell dwn his face, the Takatsuki turning to him now.

Gaara was about to be attacked, but I stooped them, calling out too ma wolf deon.

"Help Gadara! Attack them!" My Biiju (Whic is nicknamed Kawaii neko, bcuase she's kida like a cat) The Akatsuki feel to the ground, scared buy my powers. Itachi came to, walking up to me with teras in his eyes. "You are really strong and pretty miss. What is u name?" I was shicked, quietly answering back. "Sage Johnson." He smiled, "Will yiu marry me/?"

I was super stunned, but he was realy hot. "I can date! you!" He nodded, smiling, but the people begind him started to argue. "I waanna date hewr!" "No me!" "I should!"

Soon they all were figting over me! I didn't know what to do!

"If you leave me and GAARA along I can date all of you and see who I love the best!" Itachi nodded. "Come to see us later okay?" We both waved bye as I said "oh yeah I forgot about sedutuon mission."

We went on our way to da palace and went to see the princely man because I had to make him love again, but he was no there.

As to he went out to see what was going on becausde there was a loud noie kinda like a scream ut not really.

We saw the prince dude in a tree there was a big puppy at the foot of the tree.

"Help me!" he cried. We ran to his help and I grapped the dog and the prince dude came out of the tree "saying thank you and I scared of dogs" I was like dats okay mr. I am not scared of dog because I have a demon wolf in side in me. "and he wad like: really?" and I said "yeah you want to see?" and was like sure?" so I made Kawaii neko come out and I then was like this is my wolf demon." Gaara came over and said "I have one two" the porince was like "that's so cool" he was all happy looking and I thought it was weird because I had to seduc him.

He was hawt! He had long black hair and blue, blue eyes like so blue that they were like the see on a stormy night and it was so cool that he was aweseom and hawt!

I was so excited to sedut him that I went over to him and started to make out.

"I'm sage Johnson" I told him and he was like "I'm a prince" Then out of nowhere a black smok appear and it was sasuke! Sasuke came running over and yelled"Noooooooooo Sage I love you don't make out with him!" and I was like "but I have a mission I have to seduct him!" And sasuke started to cry all over and He was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And then Gaata said, "Sage don't!" and then suddenly sasuke screech, "U WILL NEVA HEV HER SHE ES MY!11111!" And then sudden sasuke out of his pink stalletto and throw it at da prince! "OWIE! I HAVE A BO BO!" Da prince cry liek a bae bae.

Sasuke laughed evilly and begin to bet da prince wit his hot pink stallateo dat he pull off his foot.

Sasuke laugh a manicicle laugh as he eggbeated da prince with the blunt instrument pink heel.

I wented to stop it buttttt sasuke was SO HAWT! RAWR!

I watched as da prince cry and cry.

Eventually da prince start coughing up weird red kool aid and sasuke galloped towards me in his hot pink tube top and pretty pink stallefasas.

He pick me up and den spin me around in square formation.

I knew sasuke was a murder man but I didn't cur. I watched in aw as sasuke begin to beet everyone with his oink shoe.

I didnt understnd y red koolaid kept coming out of all of them?

I decided good kool aid cannot be waste so I went to lick it up

. "ew!" I yelled. I spit it out. THE KOOL AID WAS EXPIRED!

It taste like metal. Ewwie. Suddenly the sky began to turn a puke orange cola and I swear I see a green unicorn begin to fly in sky. "what? UNICORNS WERENT GREEN! THEY WAS PINK!" I MUST HAVE BEEN DRUGGED. No wunda da kool aid taste so weird. It was roofie!

I WALK up to sasuke and smeck him in da face. "YOU DRUG ME U INSOLENT TULIP FACE! I HOP U CHALK ON kOOL AID AND DIE!" Saske begin to cry.

The unicorn came dwn to me, sining the songs of angles.

I was annoyed. DIS WASN'T REAAAL! I yelled at it. "Go away! Screww u Sasuke! It landed next to me, smiling with its horn. "U called to me miss?" I nodded, still angry with Sasuke. "I CAN Help you friends! Letz heal them!"

I didn't get it, but the koolaid must be bad. It tasted really aweful so the green unicorn must of wanted to clean it off of them. "Okay" I wondered of it would work sense I was drugged. "Bazam!" I was all better and the prince came over to kiss me, crying more. "Thank for saving me!" I smiled, petting the fake unicorn who told me its name was majestic.

He was really old (Over 110) and smellet really nice. Sasuke put his shoes back on and lefted though it made me sad.

Gaara and Majjestic followed the prince inside the palace.

The prince and gaara and me and went inside the palace and we went to the princes rooms and we talk for long time.

I had to sediuce the prince byut I not want to because I in love with sasuke.

The prince want to kiss me lots but gaara woudnt let him.

Gaara was like "you can't kiss her becase she is going to date all the akatsuki and they took her eyes out and out them back in" The prince looked at me in awre.

I had to tell him the hole truth.

I was Sage the hokage and I had to make him love again.

We had hot steamy sexy times with gaara watching.

Gaara had to make sure I wasn't hurt.

We had lots of fun times in bedroom.

We make love and then a shiny blue light come down from heaven like the sun was not shine right color and all of sudden the prince was glow and floated into the air.

He was like "I can love again!" I was amaze I had made him love again. The prince said "I love u sage!" I was sad and burst into tears becuase I was in love with sasuke, but I want to date the akatsuki but I also love the prince I ran away to cry in the forest.

I cried and cried until my eyes hurt and I want to crawl under rock and stay there, but Gaara came to find me. "What is wrong?" he said. I said "I love Sasuke and I want to date the akatsuki and I also love the prince! And sasuke made the red cool air expired and made me not feel good!" Gaara hugged me and said, "if it makes yu feel better, I love you too, sage" I was desressed.

How could so many people love me when I only could have one but I love them all too!

I got up and ran away from Gaara crying.

I ran all he was to the desert and ran into the sand I ran until my feet hurt and I need water bad.

I collapsed in the sand and passed out.

Then I woke up and Naruto was standing over me! "Hokage!" he said "what are you doing here?" I was like "wha?" And he said "You are in my house." "No I'm not," I said. Then I look around.

I was in strange white room!

This wasn't Naruto house it was stange place!

"What have you done to my Naruto ?" I cired and got up and ran away and he chase me! Sudden a cloud of red kool aid apapaer in da air. Da kool aid lock so good but I will not be fool by its drugged trickery. "I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRY TO DO! YOU CANNOT FOOL ME! I WILL NOT BE THE TRICK!" I yelled definitely. Suddenly I head voice from cloud.

The voice was sweet and soothest like wearm honey butter and I could not stop the listen. "Come rosemary, we promise if u cum we has the good kool aids! we be the give u goof kool aids!" my name was not rosemary my name be sage but I did not do the cares because is was so entranced by the kool aid cloud voice (and rosemary and sage were the same things really lol) before I be stop myself, I walk into the kool aid cloud and I found myself in a strange club.

Hot men were walking around drinking da kool aids and dance.

I was confuse for a seconds because there were no girls.

Then I realize it was probably because they hey have no girlfrineds and they come to club to be lonely together

. Yes. That was it.

Hahaa I am the smart.

Suddenly a man wearing da hot pink stalletos walks up to me.

I begin to cry becus he rimed me of sasuke and I love him. The man says to me in a weird high pitch voice. "Hi hon. Would you mind if I got some red kool aid from your sugar button?" I smile and say yes because I love kool aid. Suddenly the man does weird thing. He starts to bite me neck and I yell. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GET AWAY FROM ME! I KNOW WHAT YOU DO! YOU TRY TO DRUG ME DON'T YOU!" "I am Dracula hon. I won't hurt yall now. Just a sippie hunnnnnnn~!" I screamed, summoning my dean. Majestic now had fangs to! "AHHHHHHH! You made my Neko-kun do a bad thing!" The other people came over, now reaveling themselves to be peeps who were from the konoha village!

I found there secret out! I ran away, crying until Itachi came and picked me up and held me thighty in his big, hot arm. "SHHHH it' okay now Sage. I love you." I nodded, because I loved him too, though I also really likes Sasuke!

WE left, exiting out of Naruto's apparentment building!

He was one of the guys in the place!

Then I see Sasuke standing in shadows of the street, crying.

I run over to him and hugs him, sobbing.

I love Sasuke and I will marry him I will!

I kissing him and we make out before I take him back to hokage house.

We happy to be in hokage house and stay there till morning then we have big wedding.

We make lots of babys and live happy ever after.

All akatsuki come to wedding and gaara and prince and dracola and lots of people, We have fun time befoe it over and then go home.

I happy with Sasuke and then I see Itachi all sad.

I feel sad and call saukra to come and be friend of Itchai they have lots of ninja babys.

Then I play match makers and there be lots of Ninja babys now I is happy! The End.

AN: DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT? REVIEW AND FAV! :d