Life without
Heero looked around in surprise at the sunlight that streamed through his window. Having just awoken form a bone chilling nightmare he didn't remember where he was or even who he was and he fought hard to regain his memory. What's going on? Duo NO! Relena no please don't touch her please. (Cries echoing in background). Why can't I see why do I feel so alone. Heero touched his face and cried, for the first time in his life he felt truly alone. Why can't I remember? Why can't I help her? Heero!!!! Relena please run. RUN!!!!! Relena!!! (Scream).
Relena awoke to the cold of the bed and gazed around, eyes still heavy from her sleep, for her husband and finally spotted him standing at the window with the curtains pulled aside looking out at the sunrise withdrawn as if in a daze. She climbed out of bed and crossed the room with her arms shivering at the coolness of the palace floors. She stopped short of reaching him and looked out to where his gaze was fixed. Relena didn't know how long she stood there as if rooted to the very spot, all she knew was that in the time passed not a single word had been uttered. Time stood still and left Relena's mind to drift and slowly as she looked at the sun rising off the coast she realized that it reminded her of that night long ago with Heero. Has it really been that long? 3 yrs. have passed since that night.
(Flashback) "Relena I must go."
"Why Heero why can't you stay, why don't I know anything about you? Answer me!"
"You ask as if I care about you. I have to go and that's all I can say."
"Fine, I don't care if you admit that you care for me or not but at least face me when I'm talking to you."
Heero turned slowly, Relena stopped from gasping at how handsome he looked and yet how cold. His dark navy suit made his blue eyes stand out perfectly along with his cream colored skin, bronzed a little from the summer sun. She studied him hard knowing that there was a chance that she may not see him again. Finally she could stand the dark silence between them no longer and looked into his eyes. So piercing as if he sees right through me to my heart. Oh Heero how I want you. If only you weren't so cold.
"Heero will you dance with me? One dance is all I ask and then I won't stand in your way."
He looked startled at her request and finally his shoulders sagged in defeat and he took Relena's hand in his, bowed low and brought it to his lips. When he looked up he saw she was slightly startled and smiled.
"Will you honor me with this dance? Relena." he said almost in a whisper as he brought her close to him and started the fox trot. Relena leaned into his trusting hands and let herself be lead only to revel in his touch, in his embrace, and in his scent. Time stood still as they danced as if nothing else happened in the world; as if there was nothing coming to harm the one thing that each of them cared about, the other. Soon the dream was changed into a nightmare as Military Gundam Aries attacked Relena's 17 birthday ball and spilt the two away from each other. Heero saw Relena take a step back as if still dazed and not understanding the horror that unfolded around her. As he looked up so did she and they both saw the boulder headed her way but only one of them comprehended what was happening?
"Relena No!!"
(End Flashback)
He was mine that night mine and only mine, for that short moment his guard was down and I knew how he felt for me. Had it not been for him I would have died that night but Heero, Heero saved me and then afterwards held me and comforted me. Relena looked down only to feel herself being watched. "He was supposed to be the one you married, the one who shared your bed. Not me, I was supposed to be the best man and watch the ceremonies, I was supposed to watch your love grow. Instead I watched my friend and comrade die and didn't even help." he looked back out the window and Relena reached out tentatively and touched his shoulder as she spun him around and she looked into the eyes of the man she married and kissed his temple in hopes of soothing him. "Duo there was nothing you could do. We all knew the consequences of such a battle, Heero understood far beyond any of us and he still did what he knew he must. Please don't blame yourself for what happened that night. Please duo. I don't blame you, none of us blame you Duo, so don't beat yourself up over it." Duo looked at her and brushed back the hair in her face taking a good look into her eyes as well so that their gazes locked onto each other. "I do love you, you know" he kissed her softly and Relena smiled back underneath the kiss, "I know."
Heero washed his tear stained cheeks and reached around for the towel as he dried his face and stepped out the shower feeling more relaxed and less alone. He glanced at the clothes on the chair and smirked. I wonder what I'd be pulling on if. His thoughts trailed on without him and before he could push himself back into depression and suicide, he pulled on his clothes without a second thought of them. He looked out his window and marveled at the beauty of the earth to his right and the moon to his left. "I had hoped that I wouldn't have to come back here again. I hoped a lot of things back then. When I...., Relena get out of here go, now Relena GO!!!!!!! Not without you Heero you can't make me leave you. Relena get out of here damnit the place is going to blow, get out while you can. Heero! had Relena and a life. There was a slight knock at the door and Heero finished pulling his shirt over his head and opened the door.
"Mr. Suyo are you ready to go?"
"Yeah just give me a minute to get the last of the stuff ok."
"Sure we'll be at the dock waiting and ready for take off."
Heero closed the door and looked back around the room at everything he was now leaving behind. Nothing much here now. Although there never was much. Heero picked up his bag and walked over to the mirror in the bathroom and stared long and hard at the picture of Relena and him at the state fair. She was so happy that day. So happy and carefree. We were supposed to be together forever.
(Flash back)
"Heero promise me you'll always be there and you won't let anything separate us."
"I promise Relena. Nothing will separate us. Ever."
Relena snuggled deep into his arms and stared up into the sky admiring the stars.
"I named a star for us Heero"
"Which one?"
"The one up there."
"Why did you pick that one?"
"Because it's called the lover's star. I thought it appropriate until we get married."
"Married?"
"Well not if you don't want to I was just thinking that....."
"Relena" she looked up into his eyes and smiled, "Yes Heero?" "Marriage sounds fine as long as it's not too soon." "Ok Heero." she snuggled back down into his arms and looked around. "I love you." Heero looked down, smiled, and kissed the top of her head before drawing her closer. "I love you too."
(End Flash Back)
Heero looked out of the window of the space shuttle at the stars and easily pin pointed the star.
"Humph she never did tell me why she picked out a star. She was so carefree and happy I couldn't bear to tell her I was leaving on that mission."
Heero looked away and walked back to the door and opened it slowly trying to make sure he forgot nothing. Then he took one last glance at the picture and walked out slamming the door behind him.
Heero looked around in surprise at the sunlight that streamed through his window. Having just awoken form a bone chilling nightmare he didn't remember where he was or even who he was and he fought hard to regain his memory. What's going on? Duo NO! Relena no please don't touch her please. (Cries echoing in background). Why can't I see why do I feel so alone. Heero touched his face and cried, for the first time in his life he felt truly alone. Why can't I remember? Why can't I help her? Heero!!!! Relena please run. RUN!!!!! Relena!!! (Scream).
Relena awoke to the cold of the bed and gazed around, eyes still heavy from her sleep, for her husband and finally spotted him standing at the window with the curtains pulled aside looking out at the sunrise withdrawn as if in a daze. She climbed out of bed and crossed the room with her arms shivering at the coolness of the palace floors. She stopped short of reaching him and looked out to where his gaze was fixed. Relena didn't know how long she stood there as if rooted to the very spot, all she knew was that in the time passed not a single word had been uttered. Time stood still and left Relena's mind to drift and slowly as she looked at the sun rising off the coast she realized that it reminded her of that night long ago with Heero. Has it really been that long? 3 yrs. have passed since that night.
(Flashback) "Relena I must go."
"Why Heero why can't you stay, why don't I know anything about you? Answer me!"
"You ask as if I care about you. I have to go and that's all I can say."
"Fine, I don't care if you admit that you care for me or not but at least face me when I'm talking to you."
Heero turned slowly, Relena stopped from gasping at how handsome he looked and yet how cold. His dark navy suit made his blue eyes stand out perfectly along with his cream colored skin, bronzed a little from the summer sun. She studied him hard knowing that there was a chance that she may not see him again. Finally she could stand the dark silence between them no longer and looked into his eyes. So piercing as if he sees right through me to my heart. Oh Heero how I want you. If only you weren't so cold.
"Heero will you dance with me? One dance is all I ask and then I won't stand in your way."
He looked startled at her request and finally his shoulders sagged in defeat and he took Relena's hand in his, bowed low and brought it to his lips. When he looked up he saw she was slightly startled and smiled.
"Will you honor me with this dance? Relena." he said almost in a whisper as he brought her close to him and started the fox trot. Relena leaned into his trusting hands and let herself be lead only to revel in his touch, in his embrace, and in his scent. Time stood still as they danced as if nothing else happened in the world; as if there was nothing coming to harm the one thing that each of them cared about, the other. Soon the dream was changed into a nightmare as Military Gundam Aries attacked Relena's 17 birthday ball and spilt the two away from each other. Heero saw Relena take a step back as if still dazed and not understanding the horror that unfolded around her. As he looked up so did she and they both saw the boulder headed her way but only one of them comprehended what was happening?
"Relena No!!"
(End Flashback)
He was mine that night mine and only mine, for that short moment his guard was down and I knew how he felt for me. Had it not been for him I would have died that night but Heero, Heero saved me and then afterwards held me and comforted me. Relena looked down only to feel herself being watched. "He was supposed to be the one you married, the one who shared your bed. Not me, I was supposed to be the best man and watch the ceremonies, I was supposed to watch your love grow. Instead I watched my friend and comrade die and didn't even help." he looked back out the window and Relena reached out tentatively and touched his shoulder as she spun him around and she looked into the eyes of the man she married and kissed his temple in hopes of soothing him. "Duo there was nothing you could do. We all knew the consequences of such a battle, Heero understood far beyond any of us and he still did what he knew he must. Please don't blame yourself for what happened that night. Please duo. I don't blame you, none of us blame you Duo, so don't beat yourself up over it." Duo looked at her and brushed back the hair in her face taking a good look into her eyes as well so that their gazes locked onto each other. "I do love you, you know" he kissed her softly and Relena smiled back underneath the kiss, "I know."
Heero washed his tear stained cheeks and reached around for the towel as he dried his face and stepped out the shower feeling more relaxed and less alone. He glanced at the clothes on the chair and smirked. I wonder what I'd be pulling on if. His thoughts trailed on without him and before he could push himself back into depression and suicide, he pulled on his clothes without a second thought of them. He looked out his window and marveled at the beauty of the earth to his right and the moon to his left. "I had hoped that I wouldn't have to come back here again. I hoped a lot of things back then. When I...., Relena get out of here go, now Relena GO!!!!!!! Not without you Heero you can't make me leave you. Relena get out of here damnit the place is going to blow, get out while you can. Heero! had Relena and a life. There was a slight knock at the door and Heero finished pulling his shirt over his head and opened the door.
"Mr. Suyo are you ready to go?"
"Yeah just give me a minute to get the last of the stuff ok."
"Sure we'll be at the dock waiting and ready for take off."
Heero closed the door and looked back around the room at everything he was now leaving behind. Nothing much here now. Although there never was much. Heero picked up his bag and walked over to the mirror in the bathroom and stared long and hard at the picture of Relena and him at the state fair. She was so happy that day. So happy and carefree. We were supposed to be together forever.
(Flash back)
"Heero promise me you'll always be there and you won't let anything separate us."
"I promise Relena. Nothing will separate us. Ever."
Relena snuggled deep into his arms and stared up into the sky admiring the stars.
"I named a star for us Heero"
"Which one?"
"The one up there."
"Why did you pick that one?"
"Because it's called the lover's star. I thought it appropriate until we get married."
"Married?"
"Well not if you don't want to I was just thinking that....."
"Relena" she looked up into his eyes and smiled, "Yes Heero?" "Marriage sounds fine as long as it's not too soon." "Ok Heero." she snuggled back down into his arms and looked around. "I love you." Heero looked down, smiled, and kissed the top of her head before drawing her closer. "I love you too."
(End Flash Back)
Heero looked out of the window of the space shuttle at the stars and easily pin pointed the star.
"Humph she never did tell me why she picked out a star. She was so carefree and happy I couldn't bear to tell her I was leaving on that mission."
Heero looked away and walked back to the door and opened it slowly trying to make sure he forgot nothing. Then he took one last glance at the picture and walked out slamming the door behind him.