Loser..
By Jen.
Authors Notes; I didn't feel so good and I was listening to the song Loser by 3 Doors Down and I just couldn't get this idea outta my head, so yeah I just typed it down in word, didn't even write it down in my notebook like I always doO_O!!!
This story is Tyson centered and is dark meaning there will be some angst parts in it, err happy readings??
Its strange believe me, flame me all you want, I probably deserve it.
Bold=song lyrics
Italics=Flashbacks//lalalalalalalal//Tyson talking to himself.
Disclaimer; I do not own Beyblade, its characters and locations, it all belongs to Takara, Aoki^^ and the song Loser is owned by Three doors down.
" I'm running, running as fast as my feet can carry me, right into the dark starry night, I don't care about the cold that seems to cut through my skin as I realize that I forgot to bring my coat. I just want to get away, run till eternity and never look back. Why do I feel this way, so………….empty? My mind tells me the answer to the unnessercary question for the answers are always the same to me.
Hatred anger it all comes back at me as I stop, standing still in the middle of a deserted park, the shady light from the lanterns shine down on me as I look up at the dark sky.
Darkness……….it grips me, squeezing the air out of my lungs. You've done this to me. Took my heart only to shred it to pieces without you even knowing it. You have no idea what's going on in my head, what questions and thoughts I hide in my mind.
You don't need to know, not anymore, not after everything you did to me so far. You made me suffer, made me take in the pain, insulting me to no end, I'm worthless, crap, nothing but a rookie to you, and yet I can't seem to get myself to hate you for all the pain you've cost me, no matter how much I want to I just can't and its driving me nuts, making me sick to know you have this control over me.
//Why??…………Kai………//
I start to run again, I don't want to think about today anymore, I don't want to think at all anymore.
You're getting closer, to pushing me of life's little edge.
I feel the warmth of my tears flow down my cheek as I collapse to my knees, I can't see my reflection in the dark water of the canal but I know I must be looking like shit but frankly I don't care anymore. Closing my eyes tightly, tonight's events play themselves over and over in my head…
~"Kinomiya!!!" Kai growled frustrated calling back his dranzer blade, " Would you please pay attention for once you dolt!", Kai snapped angrily shaking Tyson from his thoughts.
"I was paying attention Kai!" He shot back, though he knew he was lying.
"Nonsense! you're skills are below average and will be nothing if you keep this up! Honestly I still don't know how you could manage to win from me that one day, I guess that was just a lucky shot wasn't it. If you keep distracted with whatever it is that you are dealing with, then I guess you're useless to this team!!" Kai shouted. Tyson jumped frowning slightly.
"Oh and you are PERFECT aren't you, Mister-I-Have-The-Biggest-Ego-Ever!!" Tyson bit back feeling himself grow angry. Everyday it was the same, even when he did concentrate Kai always seemed to find a weakness in him and would nag to him about it.
"Well at least im not a big irritating loudmouth like you are!" Kai growled standing in front of Tyson glaring intensely at him. Tyson just stared back, not even flinching.
"Jerk! you think you are so superior over us cuz you are our team captain, oh puhlease snap out of that dream world Kai, because frankly you're not that great!"
" Uh Guys?" Came Kenny's timid voice, sensing that today this could be more then just a banter like other times, the heat of both boy's anger seem to radiate right off them and it made his neck hairs stand up.
Kai pinned Kenny with a glare before he turned back to Tyson, " Don't get too cocky punk, I've had it with your endless whining and japping!"
"Oh yeah? Well I may whine a lot according to you but…" Tyson clenched his fist yelling angered, " At least I'm not a betrayer like you! Only a coward would ditch his own team like you did back in Russia!!"
Kai felt a shock run through him as he grabbed Tyson's collar shoving his face into his, " That was totally different and you know that!" he hissed angry.
" Oh really? I wouldn't be surprised if you did it again, after all evil runs in your family", Tyson yelled even harder, he didn't know what came over him, but all the pent up frustration he had felt towards his captain came out at once.
A loud gasp could be heard from Max and Kenny as Tyson suddenly found himself on the floor.
" You've gone to far Kinomiya!" Kai hissed, Tyson looked up at him shocked as a trickle of blood seeped from his lip, Kai had hit him.
Tyson gasped as tears formed at the corners of his eyes, he blinked hard trying to keep them from falling. Kai looked down on him, an angry frown on his features.
"Loser", he spat out before turning away to exit the dojo.
Tyson abruptly jumped to his feet, angry tears flowed down his face, mingling with the blood from his lip.
" Kai Hiwatari Go to Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", he shouted before pushing past him and running into the cold darkness of the night.~
I wipe the tears from my face as I gaze at the ground, the memory of that big fight haunting me to no end. I shouldn't have said the things I said, I shouldn't have yelled, regret seeps through me but now its too late.
I sniffle, my chest hitches but I don't want to cry, really what's the use anyway?
//Kai………..can't you see the control you have over me? Can't you see how much I love you? //
Love?? Yeah love, I can't help it, I love him, I care deeply for him. I know its wrong but to me it feels right……………felt right.
Someday, I'll will find a love that flows through me like this.
Now I don't know what I feel, I know for sure he must hate me now even more after all I said to him, me and my big mouth.
//I'm sorry……….//
I feel numb as I continue to stare into the black water, in someway its calming me. I take Dragoon out of my pocket and stare at the blade for a minute.
//I'm leaving, I'm leaving to never come back again//
This is getting' old, I can't break these chains that I hold.
I stand up walking near the water, my tears have stopped, and I feel so empty right now, scared even. I' won't go back, I won't bother him anymore, he'll never know just how much I love him, nor how much power \ he has over me….
You're getting closer, you're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall,
Cause I'm a loser, yeah I'm a loser!
//I'm a loser in your eyes…………..You're a hero in my eyes. //
I start to wander off into the city, the bright lights shining down on me, people are walking past me but I ignore everything as I climb the stairs to the roof of a building I know all too well. The BBA building is bigger the all buildings in this city, If you stand on its roof you can overlook the whole city and its surroundings, I like to get up here just too think, I've spend many nights here, just thinking and wishing for something I know now that will never come.
I look down at all the people that are having fun down there as I wrap my arms around me.
//It's so cold//
My body's growing cold, there is nothing left of my mind nor my soul.
~"What are you doing all the way up here?" Kai asked frowning. Tyson turned around, a ghost of a smile on his face.
" I like it here, it's my special place, I like to come here to look at the view taking my mind of things you know"
Kai nodded as he sat down next to Tyson taking in the amazing view himself, " You're right the view is quite…. nice", kai said chuckling.
Tyson's eyes widened in amazement, he had never heard Kai chuckle before.
Kai got unnerved by Tyson's stare," What?" he snapped.
Tyson looked away, a rosy hue on his cheeks as he shrugged. " Nothing its just that……..well we haven fought once today for a change", he said hastily. Kai frowned, " Well that's a good thing isn't it? I mean all that yelling is tiring me to no end"
Tyson nodded silently gazing up at the blue sky.
"Yeah it is". ~
That's was maybe the only day we truly didn't fight. And I wish we could've had more days like that, I want to know him so badly, I want to be his friend but he keeps pushing me away. We banter a lot till it results in a serious fight like today……………Ugh today, I shake my head; I don't want to think about today again. I climb down the fire stairs and start to wander around the streets trying to keep a bit warm as the icy wind whips through my hair.
I feel like shit, sad angered as I touch the swollen corner of my mouth, I know I said those harsh things but that isn't a reason to punch me is it? He has never hit me before, his action has left a cold stain on my heart, gripping it and squeezing it, tearing it up even more.
Breath in right away, nothing seems to fill this place.
//Why is it so cold! //
I shiver as I shield my eyes for the harsh cold wind that chills me to the bone, because of that I don't see where I'm going until I hear a noise nearing me, someone shouts my name, I recognize that voice everywhere.
"Tyson look out!!" Kai yells running towards me.
//look out? For what? //
Then I realize I'm in the middle of the road and a car is approaching me fast, I want to run, I want to run to Kai so badly but it looks like my feet are glued to the ground. Its strange I'm not even panicking as I turn to look at him one more time, time seems to freeze as I see him coming towards me yelling but I can't hear what he is saying. I let my blade fall, its slips through my fingers as I mouth an I'm sorry though I doubt he sees it, he looks panicked, worried even.
//You pretend to care but you really don't, I can see right through you, all you do is pity me, I can't stand this torment any longer…………………….you're the cause of my pain though you don't know it//
You're getting closer, to pushing me off life's little edge,
Cause I'm a loser, and sooner or later you'll know I'll be dead.
You're getting closer, you're holding the robe and I'm taking the fall,
Cause I'm a loser, yeah I'm a loser!
//You'll never know…………………………………..how much I love you Kai//
I hear the person driving the car hitting the breaks but its too late, the impact comes quickly, I don't even feel pain as my body collapses from the hit, I can taste the blood in my mouth as I close my eyes feeling tired all of a sudden. I feel two warms arms enclose me holding me close, gently rocking my body back and forth. I feel warm wetness on my cheek, in the back of my mind I recognize them as tears but they're not mine.
"I'm sorry Tyson! Please don't leave us behind, we…I need you", I hear him whisper to me, I can't help but smile slightly as I try to open my eyes, I feel I'm slipping away but I want to see him one last time before I give into the bliss full darkness.
"K..Kai", I mutter weakly
" Shh don't talk, save your breath"
"Kai………..I…………..I'm a loser"
I close my eyes and slowly feel myself being surrounded by blackness that seems to welcome me with open arms
//I love you Kai//……………………
~*Normal POV~*
He sat there, tears flowing down his cheeks as he held the lifeless body close to him, feelings of quilt wrecked through him as he stroke some wet hair out of the younger boy's face.
" Tyson I'm so sorry, I made you do this…………………I knew all this time what you felt and yet I didn't act on it, I wish I did……………………………..I love you……………." the boy whispered planting a kiss on his teammates cheek………
You're getting closer, to pushing me off life's little edge, Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later you'll know I'll be dead……………
End
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I killed Tyson……………..AAAw man! Cries!!! Eh yeah sweat drop That's what certain songs can do to youO_O
I hope you readers can forgive me for it!
Pls lemme know what you think of it???
Jen