A/N: This is a plot bunny that rudely assaulted me at about 1am on a Sunday aaaand I've got a 6am start in the morning... So I decided it was best to just get it down.
This will be a one shot!
Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin: Lancelot, Gawain and Arthur would never have died... but I don't and they did and, and, oh the tears! :'(
Merlin watched as Lancelot walked into the veil, arms spread wide as though greeting death itself. The Cailleach disappeared even as Lancelot was consumed by the darkness. A scream ripped itself from his throat, Merlin would never be able to say exactly what he'd screamed when asked later. His brain was fogged up with shock as he watched the veil pulse before snapping closed. A shockwave of power sent Merlin stumbling back a step and before he knew what happened he found himself on his knees on the floor staring straight ahead.
"No." Merlin whispered to himself. From behind him he could vaguely hear Gawain and Arthur coming to but it didn't matter. None of it mattered because he, the great Emrys, had failed. It had been his responsibility to close the veil. His responsibility, not Lance's. It was never Lancelot's.
A guttural scream came searing out of his throat and he smashed his fists violently against the stone floor. The stone beneath his hands cracked down the center. The skin on his hands split open, pouring hot blood onto his freezing hands. He recognized Gawain's voice calling to him. All of these facts were irrelevant to him though as Merlin bent double and rested his forehead against the cold stone floor. He was breathing as slowly as he could manage and attempting to reign in his angry magic. The magic running through his bloodstream was hot and burning. An arm wrapped itself around his shoulder and Merlin could just about make out that Arthur was murmuring things to him, what he was saying was beyond Merlin. Merlin was gone too far to be able to be calmed by simple words. This, this is what true anger felt like. And let those that angered him rue the day they dared to do so.
"No." Merlin snarled viciously. He shrugged off Arthur's warm embrace and slowly sat up. From the corner of his eyes he saw Arthur watching him hesitantly.
"It's not good enough." Merlin snapped, he got his legs under him and stood. He was shaking with a fury he could barely contain. "Do you hear me?! It's not good enough! You can't take him as a sacrifice!" Merlin roared, staring intensely at the point where he could still feel the faint traces of power left over from the veil. Merlin took a threatening step forward.
"I said No! Let him go." Merlin ordered. He took another step forward.
"What do you intend to do? He is ours, Emrys. The sacrifice has been paid." A familiar voice laughed from the other side of the altar. Merlin spun and settled the owner of that voice with an icy glare. Any fear he may have held toward the Cailleach fell in the face of his anger.
"You will let him go." Merlin warned, his voice going low and dangerous. The elderly being simply raised one eyebrow, her face becoming mocking.
"Oh will I? And why would I do that?" She asked in that ancient voice of hers. Merlin took a step toward her and was rewarded with her cautious step backward. She'd obviously gotten a taste of the magic that was pouring off of Merlin in waves. They had all pushed him, and Merlin had finally snapped. Suddenly she didn't look so smug.
"If you do not," Merlin began. He moved around the altar as he spoke, the Cailleach didn't move but she tracked him cautiously with her eyes. "I will fetch him myself and, gods help me, I'll kill you all on my way out." The Cailleach looked genuinely terrified now.
"You wouldn't." She croaked out, her chin rose defiantly. "You, who are known as merciful and kind, you whose kindness is said will be your ultimate downfall, would not. Could not. You are a good man, Merlin Emrys, and good men have too many rules." The Cailleach announced. Merlin cocked his head to the side.
"You took my friend." He replied trying and failing to keep his voice somewhat calm. "You took someone I care about!" Merlin roared losing his battle. "Tonight there are no rules. Tonight there are no good men. Tonight, I am not Emrys." Merlin paused and let his head fall to his chest as he took a deep breath to calm his thumping heart. "Tonight I am just Merlin and I will have my friend back." Merlin snarled raising his head to stare at her. The Cailleach fell back a step and gave him a nervous smile.
"Perhaps the prophecies are wrong." The Cailleach seemed to murmur to herself. "Very well, I shall return your precious knight to you-" She paused to ensure the weight of her next words were heard and acknowledged for what they were. "But at a price." She finished allowing a cold smile to take over her features. In the space of a blink, Merlin had moved forward, taking a tight grip on the front of her cloak and lifted her threateningly off her feet.
"Do not mistake this as you doing me a favor, Cailleach. It is I who shows you mercy. It is you, not I, who has received a kindness on this night." Merlin bit out. He threw her backward and watched as she struggled to remain on her feet. The ancient being straightened up and glared at him with her dead eyes.
"That may be true, but it is not I who demands this price. It is the Old Religion itself that asks this of you. Your friend is dead, I will be bringing him back." She explained. Merlin's face hardened.
"Then bring him back. I will pay your price." Merlin answered. He ignored the cry of his name from behind him. The Cailleach shook her head.
"Had you listened to me earlier I told you that your time amongst men was not over," Merlin looked as though he were about to protest so she hurried to finish "even if you want it to be."
Merlin's mouth closed and a dirty scowl took over his face.
"Unless you want to pay the price Cailleach, you would do wise to explain yourself." Merlin threatened. "If not I, then who must pay this price?" Merlin demanded. The Cailleach tilted to the side.
"An elderly man in a village not far from here is destined to die in a house fire but days from now. I will take him early and this will allow for your precious noble knight to return." She offered, studying Merlin's face. Merlin turned away from her and put his hands onto the altar, hanging his head. Could he really condemn someone to death? Merlin looked up and for the first time noticed the four knights, plus Arthur, with their swords drawn, on the other side of the altar. Leon, Percival and Elyan were all watching the Cailleach warily while Gawain was simply staring open mouthed at Merlin. Merlin dragged his eyes over to the only one whose opinion mattered. Arthur was staring at him with shock written all over his features. It was clear he'd receive no council from the future king anytime soon. Again he'd have to make a hard decision alone. He turned back to the Cailleach, a tear streamed down his cheek.
"Do it. Make it painless but bring Lancelot back." Merlin croaked and looked away once he saw the Cailleach nod. Merlin kept his eyes downcast even as he heard her chanting.
"Until the next time we meet, Emrys." The Cailleach called. Merlin looked back up in time to see her disappear in a blinding light. Merlin collapsed onto his knees and let only one sob out as it choked its way from his throat. From behind him he saw another blinding light that signaled Lancelot's return. Merlin swiped a hand stubbornly down his face before standing and moving to greet his friend. He would never be free of the guilt he accumulated on this night, but as he looked upon the face of a slightly bewildered Lancelot he knew he would never regret his decision either.
A/N: Love it? Hate it? Drop a review and let me know!