Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all copyrighted and trademarked by Disney the great and powerful. (FF.N guidelines forbid: "Copying from a previously published work (including musical lyrics) not in the public domain." Had a couple reviewers with low levels of English comprehension complain that says it forbids all lyrics. Actually, it says ALL copyright material if forbidden - which means 99.9% of the stories on FF.N violate their own guidelines. 'Including lyrics' means quoting ANYTHING WHICH IS COPYRIGHTED (which includes lyrics, but is not limited to lyrics) is forbidden. See first review for this story or my Rain on the Roof for full set of problems with that guideline. Short guidelines are nice, but can be shortened until they are meaningless nonsense. Shortening, "Don't breathe chlorine gas" to "Don't breathe" would be a similar example.) All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
Set after More to be Pitied than Censured.
[Full story for the reason this is reposted can be found in an explanation I'm posting as the first review for this.]
In 1963, before Bob Dylan was Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize winner and was merely a scruffy folk singer who wrote brilliant lyrics but sang poorly, a hotel clerk refused to give the dirty bum a room after a concert. Joan Baez stepped up and vouched for him - assuring the clerk the unwashed man really was a performer and that the room would be paid for. For some odd reason Dylan felt insulted by the experience. (I feel a certain sympathy for Dylan. I like to dress comfortably. My wife, however, tells me that when I look like a bum I should expect people to treat me accordingly. While I admit that is a perfectly normal response from others I find it very judgemental.) That desire for revenge at the insult, along with Kurt Weill's Seeräuber-Jenny, inspired him to write When the Ship Comes In. I credit Dylan with inspiring parts of this story. Seeräuber-Jenny has something of an interesting story itself. In the original production "Pirate Jenny" is sung by Jenny and reflects her desire for revenge against those who mistreat her -= or who she feels are mistreating her. Later productions sometimes give the song to Polly. Apparently there are many women who have a desire to take revenge against those who have wronged them. (Copyright expired on Seeräuber-Jenny in many countries, but is still in effect in the United States for a few more years. This is one of the reasons FF.N guidelines need to explain what country's copyright laws they insist you follow.)
Chapter title from verse one of Dylan's When the Ship Comes In.
The Stillness of the Wind
The shaggy canine's nostrils flared as they neared the door. "Nick's rabbit is here," Sam told Truckie.
"You smell rabbit?"
"I smell her cooking. Even if I don't get good cards It'll be a good poker night."
"A night out with the guys isn't enough for you? You've got to snack well too?"
"Just saying, poker night is fun, but poker night with good snacks is funner."
Truckie laughed, "True enough. Probably not a good idea to call her Nick's rabbit, though. She might find it demeaning."
"Can I call Nick her fox?"
"You might get away with it," Nick's old friend agreed. "I may even steal the line."
Eric was already there. "Where's Finnick?" Truckie wanted to know.
"Out on the road with Mirage," answered Nick. "She's putting on some kind of exhibition and he's working off his debt."
"Working for a female has got to drive him crazy," Eric chuckled.
"Maybe it will produce a kinder, gentler Finnick," suggested Judy.
"More chance he'll sprout wings and learn to fly. So Terry won't be here either?"
"Terry is coming with my sister, they're sharing a ride from Zoo U."
"And hoping one of them wins tonight so they can pay for the ride back?"
Finnick's younger brother, and Judy's sister arrived and the pre-game rituals began – the purchase of poker chips, arguments over who would sit in which chair, whether wild cards could be called, and Eric offering cigars.
Judy frowned when her sister took a cigar. "You nearly got sick last time you tried to smoke one of those remember?"
"That was last time," Susan assured her. "I won't inhale as deeply."
"Then why are you even... I give up."
"Are you okay?" Susan asked anxiously. "You never give up."
"I never give up going after my dreams. I can't force someone else to abandon a bad idea if she's over eighteen and that's what she really wants to do."
Truckie, who majored in philosophy against his father's wishes, intoned, "Knowing one's limitations is a sign of maturity."
"I dunno," Eric offered. "Remember, we're dealing with a rabbit who convinced a fox that he was in love with her." He looked at Judy, "We're down a couple players, want to sit in tonight?"
"No thanks. I'm just here to protect you all from the stale chips and moldy salsa Nick used to serve."
"And we are eternally grateful," Sam quickly assured her.
"You two are way too cute," was Eric's opinion of Nick and Judy. "You know Finnick would have something cynical and bitter to say."
Nick pointed out, "But he'd still eat the artichoke dip and baked brie."
"I said cynical and bitter, I didn't say he was stupid. Cut for deal?"
"Cut if you want, but artichoke dip is out of the oven in two minutes," Judy told them. "Serve yourselves before the first hand."
As players put the warm, cheesy delight on small plates Judy asked, "Did anyone see the article in the paper yesterday on the police accountability commission?"
"Read a newspaper?" "No." "Nope" And heads shaking 'no'.
"Nick's proposal for small integration into the police force was accepted enthusiastically."
"Cautiously would be a better adverb," represented Nick's opinion. "And I wouldn't call them my proposals. I was on a task force and–"
"You were the head of the task force."
"Doesn't mean the ideas were mine. Doc Wheeler provided–"
Eric asked, "He was that hamster, right?"
"Still is a hamster. He never recovered from it. He's the little bugger who sand-bagged me and got me appointed head of the task force, remember?"
"Of course we remember," Truckie assured him. "And the fact a hamster out-foxed any fox is impressive. But the fact he out-foxed you is almost unbelievable. I'm assuming Eric will rub your nose in it for the rest of our lives. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned it yet tonight."
"I was waiting until I took a pot from Nick with a bluff."
"Then we'll never hear you mention it, ever," was the opinion of the fennec attending the university.
"And why do you say I'm the one who'll give Nick shit for the rest of his life?" Eric protested, "You won't?"
"Three times, tops. But I'll wait for the perfect moment. He will experience an exquisite triumph of some sort and as he basks in the hubris of his accomplishment I'll remind him of his paws of clay."
"Oh... What's hubris?"
"Thinking you're all that, when you're not."
Judy put her arm around Nick's waist. "I happen to think he is all that."
"You are kinda biased," Susan pointed out.
"I think she's a wonderful judge of character," Nick told the younger rabbit.
"Less chat, more cards," Eric urged and the players went to the table and Sam dealt out the first hand of the evening.
Between hands, sometime between the end of the artichoke dip and the unveiling of the baked brie, Truckie asked Nick, "The proposal you were working on, for smalls on the police force, will you need to get that through the powers that be in Rodentia?"
"Yeah, actually have a meeting set up Monday. Police Commissioner will be there. Going to be at the Big house–"
"Big house?" Terry chuckled.
"You know what I mean. Theoretically all the small bosses will be there."
Eric asked, "Isn't there some new boss? I mean, not that I pay much attention to Rodentia, but I heard some rumor there was one, and she's a real nasty piece of work... Chelsea... Chelsea something."
"Dagger," Nick told him. "Not sure anyone knows her real name. The story is she killed a panther in a fight, using a dagger. She lost an eye, and supposedly–"
"What species is this Dagger person?" asked Sam.
"A Norway Lemming."
"No way could a lemming kill a panther."
"I didn't say she did. I said that was the story. And the Norway Lemmings are pretty fierce, for smalls. I didn't send out the invitations to Monday's shindig. I think she should have been invited, but the story is she hates Big's guts and probably won't show. Or maybe she wasn't invited. I don't know if it will be good or bad if she's not there."
"How's that?" Susan wanted to know.
"If she's there, and everyone supports the plan, it means everyone is on board. If she's there and fights it, we may get nothing done. If she doesn't show it might be easier to get support from the old bosses, but she may be the first order of business if we get a small police force, 'cause she will be trouble."
"Half-time," Judy called from the kitchen. "Brie is out of the oven."
As the card players took a break from the game Nick casually asked Susan, "Did your sister tell you I proposed to her?"
"No! So–"
"You had no business telling her that," Judy told him.
"But he–"
"She said no," Nick assured Susan.
"No way! She–"
"And the whole story reflects very badly on Nick," Judy insisted.
"He really asked, and you really said no?" demanded Susan in a skeptical tone. "You said no?"
Eric expressed the general opinion, "We got to hear this story."
"What's to tell?" Nick shrugged. "I proposed. She was drunk. She said no."
Susan stared at her sister in disbelief, "You were drunk?"
"That's not–"
"Wasted," Nick assured her.
"If you ever want me to cook again for one of your poker nights you'll keep Nick from interrupting me and let me tell the story," Judy warned the others.
"Better listen to the rabbit," Truckie told Nick. "We want to hear her side before you offer a rebuttal."
"Thank you. Now, I'd had a bad day at work and a nice detective, large female–" She glared at Nick, who had snorted at the adjective 'nice' being applied to Detective Nyte. "She bought me a drink and offered some advice. She's been on the force longer than Nick or I. It was a large whiskey but I wasn't drunk–"
Nick raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Okay, maybe I was a little drunk. But I wasn't wasted. So Nick brought me home and–"
"Oh!" exclaimed Susan. "That was the night he called and asked for a soup recipe. Or are you getting smashed a lot?"
"I was not smashed. I'd simply had a little too much to drink. And yes, that was the night. It was very sweet of Nick to try and take care of me. And then he proposed because his mother told him to ask me."
"His mother told him!" Eric snerked.
"Yes!"
"No. I asked her to marry me because I love her. I happened to mention my mom thought it was a good idea and she's blowing it out of proportion."
"It was a pity proposal! I'd had a bad day and was drunk and he–"
"You said you weren't drunk."
"Fine, I lied. But it wasn't like I wanted to be drunk, okay? Lylah bought be a whiskey and I didn't want to insult her, I was just being sociable. Did any of you propose out of pity? What did she say?"
Terry held up his paws in an 'I never asked anyone to marry me' gesture.
"We were in bed when I proposed," Truckie said, "and very happy."
"Proposal after sex, or that was how you talked her into it?" asked Eric. "Hey, I took my wife out to a nice restaurant... Well, she wasn't my wife at the time."
They looked at Sam.
"I'm single."
"Ever propose?"
"I, uh, was drunk once or twice when I proposed."
"How many times have you proposed?"
"Three females, asked maybe four or five times... Letters to Gazelle don't count, right?"
Judy sought clarification, "But you never asked because you felt sorry for her, right?"
"No... I never made a pity proposal. But if one of them had felt sorry for me and accepted out of pity I'd have been good with it."
"And I tell you I didn't propose out of pity. I proposed because I love her. And she shot me down."
Susan tried to come to her sister's defense, "But she was drunk, so the 'no' doesn't count. She meant 'yes'. I'm sure she meant 'yes'." She looked at Judy, "Right? You meant yes?"
"I–"
Nick interrupted, "So, my spirits having been utterly crushed, I swore a great oath to never ask again. Or at least until after she has asked me to marry her. So, her turn to propose to me. That is, if she wants to marry me. I mean, she did turn me down when I proposed to her. That was days ago, and she hasn't asked."
"Don't make me wonder why I fell in love with you," Judy teased.
"You're serious?" Susan asked the pair in disbelief. "Females don't propose to males."
"They rarely propose to males," Nick corrected her. "Your sister is an independent spirit. She's the first rabbit on the Zootopia police force. If not the first rabbit to fall in love with a fox she's probably in the top ten. The first rabbit detective to get drunk with a panther. If she wants to marry me she'll propose."
"While I don't know Judy well," Eric mused, "my worry is she'll shoot you with a tranq dart and drag you off to a marriage drive-thru."
Sam suggested, "She could try getting him drunk."
"Or we could try playing poker," Nick reminded them.
Late in the evening, with Susan and Truckie already out of the game, Nick called, "Judy, my love, would you be so kind as to bring me a perry?"
She brought the fox a cold one, and stared over his shoulder at the cards he held. "Two pair is good right?"
"I'll raise," Eric announced quickly and shoved in chips.
"She was just asking!" Nick insisted. "It doesn't mean that's what's in my hand."
"I'll see the raise, and raise you," Terry told Eric and put even more chips into the pot. The fennec looked at Nick and grinned, "You in?"
Nick called. Eric saw the raise, and raised Terry. Terry saw the raise, and raised. Nick called. Eric went all in. Terry, who had more chips, called, followed by Nick calling.
"Three kings," announced Eric, and started to reach for the pot.
Terry stopped him with a, "Not so fast. Straight to the ten." The fennec reached out his paws for the pot.
"No one wants to see my hand?" asked Nick.
"Judy gave it away, remember? Two pair."
"Well, sort of. I have a pair of fours," Nick told them laying down the pair. "And a second pair of fours," he told them laying down the other two.
Terry groaned, "You set us up! Judy said you had two pair and–"
"Judy asked if two pair was a good hand," Nick reminded him. "She didn't say I was holding two pair. And I told you not to think it."
"But you knew that would make us think you had two pair!"
"It's a terrible thing," Nick said in a sad voice, "when you tell your friends the truth and they won't believe you." He then laughed and raked in the chips. He called into the kitchen, "Judy, Terry accused us of cheating!"
Judy came out to the table and put her arms around Nick's neck. She looked at Finnick's younger brother, "It wasn't cheating. To quote a very wise fox I met, 'It's called a hustle, sweetheart'."
Terry argued, "It was a setup."
"How was it a setup?" Nick demanded. "I told everyone the truth."
"Yeah, but Finnick always told me to never believe you."
Terry and Susan were the last of the poker players to leave. As they waited for their ride-sharing service, Fetch, Nick turned to Judy, "Will Hye and Tom be coming to the game Thursday?"
Without thinking Judy answered honestly, "No." She mentally kicked herself immediately, afraid she knew what Nick was about to do. She should have said, "I'm not sure." Her fears were realized when Nick told Susan and Terry, "Someone gave Judy four tickets to the game Thursday night. Foxes taking on the possums. Since her friends can't make it are you interested?"
It was exactly what Judy had feared. Fortunately Susan came back with, "No thanks." She said it too fast, and little too loudly. Judy picked up a nuance that Suze thought Judy and/or Nick was trying to set her up with Terry and was trying to say she wasn't interested in an interspecies relationship.
Perhaps Terry missed to tone of Susan's voice, or its implications. Perhaps he was simply being polite. But he passed with a, "Wish I could, but gotta book. Big test on Friday."
Judy breathed a momentary sigh of relief. It looked like her lies might continue safe. She had not been given four tickets, she had purchased four tickets and told Nick they were a gift. And she had not asked Hye and Tom. She had told Nick she had asked the raccoons so that, at the last moment, she could tell him they were unable to go and the two of them would have a little space around them in grandstand.
Susan, who really enjoyed football, changed her mind. "I, uh, forgot. My, ah, test on Friday was cancelled. I guess I could go. Yeah, should be a good game. Maybe Nick could bring his nephew?"
"I imagine it's too late for Josh," Nick warned.
Before Nick could suggest Suze ask some friend from the university Judy intervened with, "I might ask the tanuki on our team. I think he said he'd like to see the game." This was getting more complicated than she had expected. Worse than that, she was beginning to have some doubts about the wisdom of her plan. She tried to shake off the self doubt. Of course it was a good plan. She had invested too much planning, not to mention the money for the tickets, on it and it would work wonderfully. She told the nagging voice in the back of her mind, that whispered it was a bad idea, to shut up. Judy wondered briefly if she should call Suze and explain why she should not go the the game. But there were two problems with that. First was a question of how well her sister could keep a secret. The second was the conviction, based on the cigar earlier in the evening, that Suze would do what Suze wanted to do and there was no way to stop her – and the truth might guarantee she came to the game.